View Full Version : ~Union Resistance~
05-04-2004, 08:59 PM
Hello! The name's Sebtra, known as Sentretcookie in other places, or The Super Critic! :D
I've posted this fic in like a gazillion other places, but it seems to only get one or two reviews everywhere I go, soo... if you do read my fic, then PLEASE REPLY IN THIS TOPIC! Please? :pray:
Anyway, here it is- my most recent fic, Union Resistance! Huzza- Enjoy!
Note: The Prologue is kinds short, but don't worry- the chapters are alot longer!)
There was a heavy sadness in the wet, muggy evening air of suburban Viridian City. Two children sat on a sofa of the front lawn of an empty, one-story yellow house. The two friends stared blankly at the three moving vans on their street, loading up the stuff from both of their houses.
"It's not fair!" whined the little black-haired boy as he kicked the air. "Why do we both hafta move?"
The little red-haired girl sat back. "Dunno. Adults just do crazy things sometime."
The boy glared at her. "You don't seem at all sad that we're leaving and may never see each other again, ever ever ever!"
She looked to the side, at her own house, where the furniture was being carrier into one of the trucks by the movers. "You know that's not true!"
"We don't even know where each other are moving to!" he whined sadly, looking down at his folded hands.
"That doesn't matter," the girl said, watching the crates that had been in her room earlier now being carefully carried down her front walkway and into the trucks. "Our parents are best friends. 'Sides, I know that I'm moving to Pallet and you're moving to New Bark!"
"New Bark is in another country!" complained the boy. "And everyone knows that when you move to one country, it's impossible to go to another country!"
"That's not true!" said a voice from behind them. The two children turned around. Leaning on the back of the couch was a ten-year-old boy with neat, dark brown hair and glasses. "Five-year-olds are so dumb."
The little girl leapt to her feet. "Are not!"
The boy scowled and hopped over the couch and into her seat. "Really? What's five plus five?"
"Ha!" the little boy said confidently. "That's an easy one- fifty-five!"
The older boy snorted with laughter.
"You're so mean!" shouted the little girl, stamping her foot on the sodden ground. She grabbed her friend's wrist tightly, and dragged him off.
The two of them moved towards the swing set, where they sat side by side, swinging this way and that, thinking and remembering and wondering how they'd ever live without their best friend right next door.
"Why are adults so stupid? Why do they want us to be apart?" pouted the little girl.
"Maybe they hate us," ventured the little boy.
The girl thwacked him hard on the head. "No, stupid! Our parents love us! That's why they decided to have us!"
"Have us?!" laughed the boy. "They ordered us from the stork!"
"Nu-uh!" said the girl.
"Really? Who said?" asked the boy.
The girl beamed proudly, happy to be carrying this secret knowledge, which had been unknown to her comrade. "My mom. And my mom's always right."
Suddenly, there was a loud slam of a car door. "Honey!" shouted a voice. "Get your bad off the couch, and say good-bye to your friend. We're going!"
The little girl stood up, pulled her friend off the swing, and flung her tiny arms around him, embracing him to the point that he could no longer breathe.
She then turned away, said a quiet "bye" and then raced off to the couch where she had been sitting. She grabbed her pink backpack and hopped into the open doors of the minivan, taking a seat next to her older brother. She slammed the door shut, buckled her seatbelt, and then stared out the window as they pulled out of the driveway of the place she once called home.
And as they pulled away, she stared blankly at her friend, who was waving at their car and watching his best friend go. And she waved back, too, unaware that she was crying.
It was time to begin her new life.
Ta-DA! So how was it? Good? Bad? Tell meh!
05-04-2004, 09:33 PM
A very thought provoking prologue. It really got me wondering. Who are these people? Will they see each other again? Maybe they will meet in a jorney to collect gym badges and train Pokemon? Anyway, a pretty good start. I liked the part with the five plus five equals fifty five. Sometimes it can be hard to believe that we were all five years old once. Good luck with this fic Sentra!
I luv your fic! I read it on Seribii. I love your fic and I hope you continue to write this good!
05-05-2004, 12:34 AM
Nice start Sentra! Really got me wondering what this fic was going to develop into, especially the title. Awesome job on capturing the life of a five year old, you really made me feel like I was reading from a little rotten five year old... *thinks of the days when I was only a few feet tall*. You have a great start coming off here and I honestly can't wait til theres more!
05-05-2004, 12:41 AM
Wow this is awesome! I kinda wanted to get a feel of what the characters are like a bit more. :wink:
05-05-2004, 12:00 PM
I think we have stumbled upon something special here... :wink:
Very nice start, original, well written and most importantly, i believed it! Looking forward to seeing where this will go. Update soon. You've already got some fans... :cool:
05-05-2004, 07:47 PM
Hmm, well, thanks guys! I'm feeling much better now (blegh, my new braces mad my day bad, so I'm glad to get to this site and see 5 nice reviews)
Sorry tosay so, but come chapter one... these little kids have grown up into teenagers, and unfortnatly, the youngest character in this fic'll be nine...
...and I dunno if this would be a turn-off, but this definatly won't be a journey fic... well, maybe a little bit, at some points, but for the most part, it's a "fight the corrupt government" sort of fic.
Well, thanks again for your awesomeish reviews! ^___^ If I can get on it, I shall have Chapter One posted soon... maybe even tonight, but I'm not sure I wanna rush it, or anything...
05-08-2004, 04:07 PM
Well, here's my first chapter--- enjoy!
"Uh-oh!" I exclaimed, ducking behind a bench on the side of the road as a police car drove by. As the car rounded the corner, I peeked out, checking to see if the coast was clear. Good. No cars.
I walked out from behind then bench and sat on top of it, catching my breath. I checked my watch to see how much time had passed since I had left Pallet. It read 9:32 in flashing red numbers. I had never been good with electronics, but I knew that it wasn't supposed to blink.
"Damn thing," I cursed, fiddling with random buttons. It stopped blinking, and the two changed to a three. I sighed deeply and took a drink from the water bottle I had clutched in my hand.
Boy, I thought to myself. Skipping school was a lot harder then I thought!
I leaned back in the hard wooden seat and looked to west down the road, checking to see how far the woods went. They continued down for about and eighth of a mile, I guessed, until the road turned slightly north, and I couldn't see past the turn.
I decided to get up and continue walking down the road. It was a side road, infrequently used, that led to a bridge leading across the river to the border between Kanto and Johto. Very few people walked across the border nowadays, which explained the few cars that drove down it. And the only cars that ever drove down in on a school day were police cars.
This road was commonly used by kids who skipped school, and wanted to get from Kanto to Johto or Johto to Kanto to stir up some trouble in another country. I wasn't really one of those people; it was just that ever since Johto and Kanto's governments had a little disagreement their friendship had disappeared into thin air, so my mom and I never went to Johto anymore. I guess that was why I skipped school today; to go to Johto to see it for myself.
I stood up, stretched and yawned, and then continued walking down the road, under the cover of the trees.
I walked until the road turned, and looked around the corner. It continued for a few yards, and then came to an old, wet wooden bridge going over a slow-moving river. I shrugged, and made a run for it, thinking it looked safe enough.
In taking my first step on it, I realized I was wrong- it wasn't safe. The old boards were creaking terribly, and it sounded as though it would break if I continued to walk across it. However, not about to give up, I took a few steps back, and then sprinted across it.
My feet slammed on the old, sodden wood boards, and my heart pounded as I raced across, my mind racing with thoughts. What would happen if it fell? The water wasn't deep, but there were sharp rocks down there! What kind of dangerous Pokèmon were down there?
That didn't matter now, because I was across on the other side, standing on the firm ground. I turned to leave, but I heard a loud boom behind me, and I turned around sharply. Had someone see me?
No. The bridge had collapsed. I sighed with relief, glad I hadn't been on it, but then a new realization dawned upon me; how would I get back?
I shrugged to myself, and then decided not to worry about it until the time to worry came. I continued down the path, now in the foreign and unwelcoming country of Johto.
I sat back in the shade of the tree in the field outside of New Bark Town. I smiled happily; no one would know that I was skipping school, now; no one would be suspicious, since if they asked me if I was a trainer and I lied and said yes, they wouldn't ask to see my nonexistent Trainers' License.
I had never bothered to try becoming a trainer, but I did have an Eevee. That made my dad really frustrated; he wanted all three kids to become Pokèmon trainers, and eventually masters, just like him. His name was Red Blaise, one of the greatest trainers of all time, and he got married to Green Forrest, who was also one of the greatest trainers ever. Then, that had three kids; first Salvador, my older brother, next my, Enya, their only daughter and finally Luke, my younger brother.
Everyone knew who I was; I looked really distinct and hard to forget. My hair was a bright red with a few strands of blonde in it, making it look pretty cool. My eyes were a bright turquoise, and I also had a few freckles. I usually wore my favorite black pants with the Pokéballs on the knees, with my back t-shirt with the flame in the middle (I was wearing them now).
Fortunately, I was in Johto, and I really doubted anyone would recognize me, which was good. I had been on TV with my dad a few times in my younger days, but I didn't think anyone would know who I was, since it had been years since I was last on TV; ever since my dad left.
I could still remember that day perfectly. It was five years ago, when I was just ten and my little brother was eight. The feud between Kanto and Johto was really severe then, and everyone was afraid war would break out. Dad had suspicions that someone would take advantage of the pandemonium that came with war and try to take control of both Kanto and Johto. So, he decided to go meet with a few of the strongest trainers from Johto in Goldenrod City, and, bringing my older brother with him, he left, never to be seen again.
There were never any telephone calls; just quite a few letters. For the first few months, they came in often; letters that only parts of could be shown to my little brother and me. Mom kept the private parts to herself, locked away in some place unknown to us. After a while, however, the number of letters coming in decreased, and then stopped altogether. My mother refused to let me se the last letter he ever sent; she said that it was about grown-up things, things I was to young to hear about.
I remember firmly believing that my father was dead, since on all of the TV shows, whenever parents told children sadly that it was about "Grown-up things, things that children couldn't understand" it usually meant someone died. I wasn't too young to understand death; I knew what it meant. I had learned that it meant that the person had gone to their eternal rest; and would be in heaven or in hell, depending on how good they were, and that I would see him again when I went to heaven, and that it was celebrated by some early peoples as a passage to a new life.
Regardless, I decided not to ask to see it anymore. Since I guessed that maybe my father had written it when he was sick and dying, I chose not to remind my mother that he was gone, never to return to the Earth again.
Then, about a year after the letter was received, I had a change of mind as my mother and I drove in the car on the way home from a family trip to Vermillion City.
05-08-2004, 04:09 PM
It was too long to put in one post, sooooo....
"Mom, can you turn on the light?"
"No honey, we're driving, and the light could get in my eyes and cause a car crash."
I sighed and sunk back into the soft front seat. "Then why isn't it illegal?"
"It is illegal, in some places," my mother explained.
"So is letting kids under fourteen sit in the front seat, but you let me do that!" I exclaimed.
"Sh!" my mother said, obviously dodging the subject. "You'll wake your brother."
I turned around and looked into the back seat. Sure enough, he curled up in a ball clinging to his blanket, fast asleep. "Well, it's not fair. I'm bored, and it's dark now so I can't read!"
My mom shrugged. "Well, then why don't you turn on the radio? But keep it down, remember, you're brothers' sleeping."
Yeah, whatever," I mumbled, sitting foreword and pressing the "on" button on the radio. I turned the volume down and changed it to a random station. It was late on a Saturday night, so I suspected that there would be some kind of love song program going on.
I sat back and listened to the slow tunes one by one, ad listening to the lame requests.
"Hello, Kerrie!" said a voice over the radio, obviously someone calling into the show.
"Well hello," said Kerrie's calming voice. "Who is this, and what can I play for you tonight?"
"Um, this is Grace,"
"Hello, Grace!" said Kerrie.
"And, I'd like to make a dedication for my mother! She's been so good to me!"
"Really? Well, what did she do for you?"
"Well, she taught me to do everything, because I was home schooled, and she was my teacher, and she didn't have any help raising me, because I was her only child, and my father died, so I'd like you to play a song for her."
"Okay, well, Grace, I'll pick a song for you and your mother, alright?"
"Okay," Grace said. "Bye!"
Then, a slow song came on on the radio. There was a strange tenseness in the air around my mother and I.
"So, what do you think it would be like to be home schooled?" my mother asked, trying to make conversation.
I shrugged, and remained quiet.
"And having no siblings, and having your father pass away…"
I looked down at my hands, and I fidgeted uncomfortably in my seat. Mo me, and her sharp brown eyes softened. "Oh, honey…"
"What?" I said, pretending not to know what she was talking about.
"Did you think-" she stopped. "Did you really…?"
"Yes!" I admitted. "Yes, and I do know, but I didn't break into your room and read the letters or ask you about it because I didn't want to hurt your feelings about it!"
"You've got it all wrong," she said softly. "Your father isn't… he isn't really…"
She stopped, since she saw that I was looking out the window now, my eyes shining. I was on the verge of tears. "It's okay mom, I'm not too young to understand! I can take the truth! I've been able to for the last year, and I can take it no! Actually, I'd be happier if you told me, so I'd know that my own mother isn't keeping secrets from me!"
I was crying, now. The full-blown truth that my mother- my only parent left- was keeping secrets from me was too much then my mind could bare.
"Well," she said slowly. "I admit, I have been keeping secrets from you- but what ever made you think that your father had died?"
"It's obvious!" I shouted. "I knew that you were trying to make me feel better, but you weren't! You just made me feel worse about it! And you don't have to keep lying to me! You don't have to hint that he's not dead, and that he will be coming back! I know exactly what death is- I know just what it's like to have a parent die!"
I crossed my arms and continued crying silently once again.
"Listen dear," my mother said as we turned onto another highway. "If your father was dead, I would tell you. And he's not."
"Really?!" I said. "Then how come the letters stopped coming? How come you seemed so depressed after that last one?"
"It is because your father said that he would have no way to communicate with us anymore."
"Why couldn't you have told me?!" I sobbed.
"Because you didn’t need to know! I assumed that you knew that he was unable to communicate with us!"
"So he's not dead?" I asked finally.
"No, he's not," my mother said.
"Really?" I asked.
"Yes, really. Trust me, he's alive somewhere."
"Where?" I asked.
My mother sighed. "Well, I just don't know about that. All I know is that he is alive, and that he will be coming back someday soon."
"Hm." I said. I was still angry with my mother for not telling me the complete story, but I was too tired to continue the argument. Giving in to immense sleepiness, I dozed off into a light sleep, to the lulling sound of the car's monotonous motor.
So, after that night, I knew the truth, that my father was not dead. I wasn't so sure now; it had been roughly five years since our last contact, after all. However, my mother still insisted that he was alive and well, though how she knew was a mystery to me. I guessed that she had just been guessing to keep my brother and I hopeful.
I sighed and leaned back on the rough bark of the large Elm tree I sat under. The scent of early autumn was through the air; it was an indescribable scent; yet whenever I smelt it, I felt an immense sadness, though I didn't know why.
I put my hands behind my head and yawned largely. My eyes traveled from left to right, looking for something interesting to stare at, since I was too tired to get up. I yawned and stretched again, and then opened up my backpack. I fished around in it, and pulled out a red and white sphere. Tossing it lightly onto the soft, green grass, a small, fuzzy brown fox-like Pokèmon emerged.
"Wevee!" It chirped happily, hopping into my lap. I smiled and petted its smooth, neat fur, then, scooping it in my hands, I stood up.
"Come on, Eevee," I said, making my way towards Cherrygrove. "Let's see what Johto is all about."
...How was it? Good? Bad? TEL MEH!
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