Nick_Roge
05-19-2006, 01:50 PM
Here's my pokemon fanfic, it's called Blood War, but as you can see it's not near finished tell me what you think. And P.S. great fanfic ChronoPika, Mawile to the Life. But anyways here it is and tell me what can be done to make it better!
Chapter 1: Making friends
“I am Nicholas Torchic hear me roar”, that’s what I used to say, that is until the evil King and Queen Feraligatr became the rulers of all the pokémon world now I say “I am Nicholas Torchic, I am the one who will take the evil Feraligatr King and Queen out”, in fact I got arrested for saying that very thing, but you know what, I really don’t care, the King and Queen had my best friend, Fry Charmeleon, killed because he said that he knew what they were doing. I really wish he had told me their secret before he died but he didn’t so that’s that. One day I will avenge his death, but today is not that day, first I have to train until I am ready.
I started my journey about three weeks ago today and let me be the first to tell you it has not been easy but I will make it because like I stated before I will not let my dream die, but I will let the King and the Queen die. “Who’s there, I can here you in the trees” I said in slight fear. All that answered was wind blowing through the trees, but then as I was just about to start walking again something jumped in front of me. “What are you”, I asked? “I am what I am and I ain’t no more, the question is what are you to come through my territory” he quickly replied. “I am Nicholas Torchic of the Harow Volcano and I just need passage through your territory”, I replied back. “Ok but we got to make a deal I’ll let you pass but only if you can beat me in a battle, I win you have to get out of my territory you win I’ll personally escort you through my territory”, he replied with a plenty of anxiousness in his voice.
So the battle began, I shot an ember attack at him but he dodged it with such amazing speed I didn’t even see him move, or maybe that was just it, maybe he’s using a double team attack. Maybe he’s just trying to confuse me into thinking that… ow! He just hit me from behind with a bullet seed attack. “Oh you’re gonna regret that”, I said with a lot of anger in my voice. I jumped up and made myself start spinning and then used an ember attack, everything around me had just been decimated including him. I went over to him and started speaking “I won so now you owe me right through this territory”, I said to him. “Fine I’ll let you through”, he said “by the way my name is Alex Treeko”.
So we started walking then Alex said, “so what is it you want through here so badly for huh?” “I’m going to meet Grandmaster Deoxys”, I said. “But why”, he said with a skeptical look on his face. “Well a few years back they killed my best friend and I am going to kill the new king and queen for that, see it’s a two for one”, I said. And then he said, “No way! They killed my girlfriend the night I was going to propose to her, can I come with you, I wouldn’t mind getting in a little training and kicking the so called ‘royalty’ in the butt myself”. “Well I guess you can come, after all I’m going to need all the help I can get if I’m really gonna do this”, I said.
As we continued going down the road, there was an uneven silence as we passed the graveyard. Before we knew it there was a Duskull in front of us telling us to turn around. Soon, I asked why Duskull wanted me to turn around and Duskull simply said, “Follow me”. So we followed him and soon enough found out why he asked us to turn around, there was a whole mess of Shuppet and Banette. So the Duskull said, “this is what happened, we went out to hunt, and when we came back all the Shuppet and Banette had taken over and they’re to strong for us so we can’t get our homes back”. “We can help” I said. “But how if we can’t do anything to beat them what do you think two extremely small pokémon can do” he said. “What do you mean by small” Alex said just as I stopped him from just about knocking the Duskull out.
Chapter 2: Helping Duskull Out
We were soon at the site the Shuppet and Banette were calling the Derote, or in other words the king’s palace. We went inside, the Derote was probably the creepiest place I had ever seen in my life, but we kept going onwards. We were now in the Kings’ throne room and so I said to the king, “Your royal kingliness, I must ask you why you took this village from the Duskull that used to own this land”? And the king replied, “we took it because we can”. What a horrible reason to take peoples homes” I said in disgust. Then the king spat at my feet and told me to get out of his palace. So we got out and then started forming a plan. I told Alex to wait just outside of the kings throne room while I went in. I started speaking to the king, “I’ve come bearing a gift, it’s not money, it’s a bullet seed attack. I repeat it’s a bullet seed attack, that’s your cue Alex”! Alex then came in and fired a bullet seed attack at the king and one of the kings followers jumped in the way. So, the attack had started and we were outnumbered five to one but that didn’t stop us we just kept on fighting. Alex used a quick attack on one of the kings guards and it surprised him to find out it didn’t even faze him. I had to remind him that ghost-type pokémon weren’t affected by normal type moves like quick attack.
So the battle had begun, I used an ember attack on the Shuppet farthest to the right, and it fell just like that. So I got to wondering why the Duskull couldn’t just take them down, then I got my answer. The Shuppet I just took down started merging with the six other Shuppet, and then it formed an extremely Shuppet. But then obviously something happened that the king wasn’t expecting because he had a look of extreme disbelief on his face, but the Shuppet that had just merged together had just started to evolve.
Chapter 1: Making friends
“I am Nicholas Torchic hear me roar”, that’s what I used to say, that is until the evil King and Queen Feraligatr became the rulers of all the pokémon world now I say “I am Nicholas Torchic, I am the one who will take the evil Feraligatr King and Queen out”, in fact I got arrested for saying that very thing, but you know what, I really don’t care, the King and Queen had my best friend, Fry Charmeleon, killed because he said that he knew what they were doing. I really wish he had told me their secret before he died but he didn’t so that’s that. One day I will avenge his death, but today is not that day, first I have to train until I am ready.
I started my journey about three weeks ago today and let me be the first to tell you it has not been easy but I will make it because like I stated before I will not let my dream die, but I will let the King and the Queen die. “Who’s there, I can here you in the trees” I said in slight fear. All that answered was wind blowing through the trees, but then as I was just about to start walking again something jumped in front of me. “What are you”, I asked? “I am what I am and I ain’t no more, the question is what are you to come through my territory” he quickly replied. “I am Nicholas Torchic of the Harow Volcano and I just need passage through your territory”, I replied back. “Ok but we got to make a deal I’ll let you pass but only if you can beat me in a battle, I win you have to get out of my territory you win I’ll personally escort you through my territory”, he replied with a plenty of anxiousness in his voice.
So the battle began, I shot an ember attack at him but he dodged it with such amazing speed I didn’t even see him move, or maybe that was just it, maybe he’s using a double team attack. Maybe he’s just trying to confuse me into thinking that… ow! He just hit me from behind with a bullet seed attack. “Oh you’re gonna regret that”, I said with a lot of anger in my voice. I jumped up and made myself start spinning and then used an ember attack, everything around me had just been decimated including him. I went over to him and started speaking “I won so now you owe me right through this territory”, I said to him. “Fine I’ll let you through”, he said “by the way my name is Alex Treeko”.
So we started walking then Alex said, “so what is it you want through here so badly for huh?” “I’m going to meet Grandmaster Deoxys”, I said. “But why”, he said with a skeptical look on his face. “Well a few years back they killed my best friend and I am going to kill the new king and queen for that, see it’s a two for one”, I said. And then he said, “No way! They killed my girlfriend the night I was going to propose to her, can I come with you, I wouldn’t mind getting in a little training and kicking the so called ‘royalty’ in the butt myself”. “Well I guess you can come, after all I’m going to need all the help I can get if I’m really gonna do this”, I said.
As we continued going down the road, there was an uneven silence as we passed the graveyard. Before we knew it there was a Duskull in front of us telling us to turn around. Soon, I asked why Duskull wanted me to turn around and Duskull simply said, “Follow me”. So we followed him and soon enough found out why he asked us to turn around, there was a whole mess of Shuppet and Banette. So the Duskull said, “this is what happened, we went out to hunt, and when we came back all the Shuppet and Banette had taken over and they’re to strong for us so we can’t get our homes back”. “We can help” I said. “But how if we can’t do anything to beat them what do you think two extremely small pokémon can do” he said. “What do you mean by small” Alex said just as I stopped him from just about knocking the Duskull out.
Chapter 2: Helping Duskull Out
We were soon at the site the Shuppet and Banette were calling the Derote, or in other words the king’s palace. We went inside, the Derote was probably the creepiest place I had ever seen in my life, but we kept going onwards. We were now in the Kings’ throne room and so I said to the king, “Your royal kingliness, I must ask you why you took this village from the Duskull that used to own this land”? And the king replied, “we took it because we can”. What a horrible reason to take peoples homes” I said in disgust. Then the king spat at my feet and told me to get out of his palace. So we got out and then started forming a plan. I told Alex to wait just outside of the kings throne room while I went in. I started speaking to the king, “I’ve come bearing a gift, it’s not money, it’s a bullet seed attack. I repeat it’s a bullet seed attack, that’s your cue Alex”! Alex then came in and fired a bullet seed attack at the king and one of the kings followers jumped in the way. So, the attack had started and we were outnumbered five to one but that didn’t stop us we just kept on fighting. Alex used a quick attack on one of the kings guards and it surprised him to find out it didn’t even faze him. I had to remind him that ghost-type pokémon weren’t affected by normal type moves like quick attack.
So the battle had begun, I used an ember attack on the Shuppet farthest to the right, and it fell just like that. So I got to wondering why the Duskull couldn’t just take them down, then I got my answer. The Shuppet I just took down started merging with the six other Shuppet, and then it formed an extremely Shuppet. But then obviously something happened that the king wasn’t expecting because he had a look of extreme disbelief on his face, but the Shuppet that had just merged together had just started to evolve.