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DamienCreater
06-25-2006, 10:55 PM
Damien was walking in a bightly lit forest looking for some berries when he tripped on a tree root and got his foot tangled and he heard rustiling near by.

(sorry it wasnt that long my posts will get longer though)
sonickid01
06-25-2006, 11:18 PM
Dude... flawed.

I see you're a newcomer. Please don't take any of this to heart. We, or at least, I, am trying to help you boost to a higher lever of RPing, up to, well, maybe even Deathspector standards.

1: Plot is completely absent. So a kid is walking in the forest. Wow. But why? What's the purpose? Obviously, this must be another cliche RP. It seems like it's one of those "YAY! Here we go; you get a Pokemon from Birch and then you must gather badges, Pokemon, and be the Pokemon Champion!" RPs. Dude, really original ones are like TVTmaster's Tower of 100 Challenges; greatest Pokemon RP in the world. Sad that it died. And please, PLEASE don't copy that.

2: Um... if you want people to join, then you'll need a form that covers all, ALL, that's A-L-L information you'll need. Appearance? Personalities? Pokemon? Things like that. If you want an RP with just you, please go to the Fan Fiction section. :happy:

3: A few grammatical errors. "Bightly" is "bRightly," "Rustiling" is "Rustling," and the whole post is an entire runon, ie, a really long sentence; much too long, and with no punctuation where needed.

4: Yep, it's way too short.

I hope I helped, and I look forward to seeing you as a pro RPer.
DamienCreater
06-25-2006, 11:24 PM
Yah...thats what I thought....sorry
wanlingnic
06-26-2006, 01:06 AM
well, I wouldn't mind joining, stupid rp or not!

Rps are meant to be fun for all, including not putting down the person who made it! I'm sure he's new and could use some brushing up, but don't insult him!

I had my fair share of this too, So don't take it to heart! :)
sonickid01
06-26-2006, 01:14 PM
No, it isn't that I'm trying to put him down. Quite the opposite. I'm trying to BRING HIM UP. I want him to build an RP as great as T100C! Now, that isn't anger. I just want him to be great. These were just some pointers to help him get better.

So, once again, I expect you to make great RPs. Not in an instant, but over time.

Hope I helped.