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vellyvell
06-06-2004, 05:55 AM
Prologue

5 years ago
A young boy returns from kindergarten on the last day of school, with great news of what happened during his last day. He also had many question about 1st grade. He was only 5 years old.

He runs into the house and finds no one in the house. He searched the house rapidly only to end with nothing. He sits down in the kitchen to find a note written by his parents. It states:

Mike, read this soon. Do not worry about us, we are gone, and will be gone for a very long time. Mrs. Petagulum and Paul will be here to pick you soon after you read this. Don't worry about us, just work to become a Pokemon Trainer. We will be in Constance city if we are not back by the time your journey begins. Come visit us!

5 years later, a couple of days before the Present
Mike was in the office of Professor Dogwood. He was an average sized mane, with a normal build. He had blond hair, and he was 35 years old.

"I'm sorry Mike but all we have left is a Zubat. You are okay with that, right," said Prof. Dogwood

"Yes, Zubat will do. I love the dark, and so do Zubat. He will be okay for now," Mike replied, as he walked out. His Journey began the search for his mother and father.


Chapter 1 Even Through the Cave
Present
A figure of darkness in the Onsheon Cave appears in front of a Cave. He was just a figure of darkness, a shadow. He was ready to begin his quest to find his parents. Equipped with a Pokedex, and his trust pokemon, which he often kept a secret. He would start by catching the powerful, elusive Horsea or a smart Staryu. He would train them until it became powerful, dragonic Kingdra, or the fast and powerful psychic Starmie.

He walked through the cave of darkness, and scanned through the cave for an end. He was walking slowly, until he saw a mushroom-like pokemon. He picked up his cellular phone sized, red, and computer and scanned the pokemon.
http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/pkfrlg046.png Paras, the mushroom pokemon. It can spay spores that will put opponents to sleep. He is part bug, part grass.

"Let's battle friend. It will be great practice. I am a pokemon trainer, and to find my parents, it will take more than you. We must catch strong pokemon, and train hard. Go Zubby, I've chosen you. Use Leach Life. "

The blue, eyeless bat zoomed down, and chomped on Paras absorbing energy. Paras jumped in the air, and with its reddish-orange claw, it scratched Zubby. They bounced back to their original positions. Paras was panting.

Paras jumped up, and used Leach Life on Zubby. It didn't hurt Zubby much, but it helped Paras recover. Zubby flew down, and whacked Paras with her wing. A set of a defensive nervous reaction in Paras that caused him to use spore.

Zubby crashed to the ground, as Paras slowly got up, and crawled to Zubby. It stopped right next to Zubby's sensitive blue back, and clamped on to her. It just absorbed more, and more each time. The wholes in Zubby's back started to bleed.

"Zubby wake up now. You got to get up, and Wing attack again. It's the only way. Please Zubby get up. You have to be tough," Mike cried in the darkness of the cave.

Zubby squirmed a couple of times, and flapped its wing to show it was awake. Zubby flew up into the air, and flew down at high speeds, striking Paras harder each time. Paras squirmed once, and didn't move again.

"Zubby, we won. We beat Paras, the mushroom pokemon! We are strong, and powerful. We will destroy all the opposing, right Zubby!" he said. Zubby chirped in agreement.

The twosome walked a while around, walked past traps, and walked around turns, until finally he saw a light. They had finally made it to Crenshaw Town, the home to the Crenshaw River. He was close to finding a Horsea, and Staryu. But above all he was closer to finding his parents.

"Go pokeballs, Zubby use Wing Attack on both of them, as soon as you come out," said Mike. The two white, and red balls hit the ground, and two white lights formed shapes. One was the familiar shape of Zubby, but the second one formed an unfamiliar shape, similar to a Goliath beetle. Mike popped out his Pokedex, and scanned the beetle obviously waiting for a command.

Mike returned his only friend, and faithful pokemon Zubby the Zubat to her pokeball. He sat, and rested in the grass-filled, dark green, soft meadow. Him, and Zubby had not been in one gym battle yet, and Zubby was already really strong. He was thinking about any connections he could find, to help him find his parents. He had thought for ten full minutes, pictures of people his parents knew floated through his head.

That was it! The one guy he could clearly envision was the gym leader of Crenshaw town. He used rock pokemon, and was famous for beating most people, even if they were water or grass trainers. He was obviously tough, and Mike needed to get an edge against him. It would be tough but not only was he going to talk to gym Leader, he was going to beat him.

“Come on Zubby, he said” We’ve got to talk to the gym leader here. It could give me clues about where exactly are they in Constance City, largest city in the world. It is so big, it was the size of some states.” He told Zubby some more, as they got up, running into the town, ready to get closer to Mike’s parent. “We are finally here, Zubby,” Mike said as he came to a stop, and scan the large city.

They walked into the city, full of people, the sky shining bright, and was like two pools of crystal clear blue water. He wandered around the city, fascinated at how beautiful it was. He remembered when he was 5 his mother used to tell him that a legendary Ho-oh, invisible to all that do not have the rainbow feather, keeps this town looking nice. He returned to his objective, and eventually found the town map.

All he had to do is go to the front of this beautiful city, and there would be marble statues that so divinely show every feature of his Nosepass. He wondered what a Nosepass was, so as he was walking to the gym, he pulled out his person computer, the Pokedex. He was walking, and searching for Nosepass at the same time, yet Zubby, who was flying above him, was the only reason he was going the right way.

“Ah I’ve finally found the pokemon, they call Nosepass. Yet it is loading information off of its sources, and it’s only 5% done. Why is it taking so long, I wish you could tell me,” he said talking to Zubby. He was thinking, when a weird thought pierced into his mind. He recognized the voice to be Zubby’s, but how could that be possible. Zubby was a bat. He didn’t know Zubby could do that.

By the time he shook the awe inducing thought from his head the pokedex was ready. http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/pkrs060.gif “Nosepass' magnetic nose is always pointed to the north. If two of these Pokemon meet, they cannot turn their faces to each other when they are close because their magnetic noses repel one another. Nosepass had been said to be completely unmoving, with its magnetic nose pointed due north. However, close observation has revealed that the Pokemon actually moves by a little over .38 of an inch every year. Its magnetic nose allows it to use electric attacks. It is weak to Grass types, and Water types are good against it, but water must watch out for his Zap Cannon attack,” Mike’s pokedex informed him. Mike knew then he should want to catch a grass type along with his water types; it would be better if he caught the grass first. Mike decided to ask the gym leader those questions.

As Mike walked in, and slowly, but slyly he snuck passed all of the many gym trainers. He slowly approached Leon the Gym Leader, a bit nervous. He looked at the man with a Masculine build, and he immediately knew the rumors were true. He could tell by the freaky build, and the scars that he really did train with his tough, and heavy, rock-solid rock pokemon.

“Mr. L.. Leon,” he stuttered. “I am Mike Powerski, and I believe you knew my parents. I wanted to know if you knew what part of Constance City my parents are in. I also wanted to know why they left. I was five when it happened, so I don’t know much about the incident. Can you please tell me every single solitary word of what you know about what happened accept that I haven’t seen my parents since?”

“Ah! The last time I saw you, my knee was the size of your whole body. Your parents did leave something behind for you just one year ago, I got it in the mail,” he said as he handed Mike the pokeball. As for the information, I will tell you one thing, and I will save the rest until after you beat me in a gym battle. Your parents loved the pokemon Roselia; you can find them in the meadow. They always wanted you to catch one, and a Staryu, and Horsea, I figure you might like them if you catch them, so look into it,” Leon told Mike. “Just to let you know that our match will be 5v5,” He finished.

Mike nodded, and ran out of the gym. He decided to go to Crenshaw River, and try to scout some Staryu, and Horsea. He ran to the River, and was in awe. He could see the crisp clean grass of the meadow, and Roselia just roaming everywhere. He looked across the river, and saw exactly what he was looking for, A Horsea, and a Staryu, playing together. "So the battle begins," Mike thought.

"Go pokeballs, Zubby use Wing Attack on both of them, as soon as you come out," said Mike. The two white, and red balls hit the ground, and two white lights formed shapes. One was the familiar shape of Zubby, but the second one formed an unfamiliar shape, similar to a Goliath beetle. Mike popped out his Pokedex, and scanned the beetle obviously waiting for a command.

vellyvell
06-07-2004, 02:20 AM
http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/pkrs168.gif Heracross charges in a straight line at its foe, slips beneath the foe's grasp, and then scoops up and hurls the opponent with its mighty horn. This Pokemon even has enough power to topple a massive tree. Heracross has sharp claws on its feet. These are planted firmly into the ground or the bark of a tree, giving the Pokemon a secure and solid footing to forcefully fling away foes with its proud horn. Some of its attacks are Tackle, Leer, Horn Attack Endure, Fury Attack, Brick Break, Counter, Take Down, Reversal, and Megahorn.

"Okay, Heracross, leer both of the opposition," Mike commanded his new pokemon. Heracross took to the air, and zoomed behind Zubby. Zubby struck hard, but the pokemon were still ready for more. Heracross came to a stop, and stared hard at both pokemon. They didn't like the look, and together they shot out high-pressure amounts of water. Heracross was blasted back into a large tree, and blinked a couple of times. It shook off the water, and looked at Mike for a new command. Mike couldn't believe how loyal Heracross was already. He looked at Zubby, and knew that Zubby was ready, and then quickly told Heracross, "Leer again. Move out right now!"

Heracross flew out to Horsea, and Staryu again. He stared even harder at them this time. Staryu arose by spinning around, and shot multiple bubbles at Heracross. Horsea shot out a straight blast of water, hard enough to knock out a rampaging Snorlax. Heracross barely stayed in the battle with the blast impacting so hard, but he was very tough, and handled the blast like a true fighter.

Zubby flew in to help her comrade, and Wing attacked them both. They flew into the sub-soil of the water. Staryu jumped out of water, and attempted tackled Heracross, but Zubby sacrificed its own body for Heracross. Zubby, being so light went flying to the ground. Horsea used smokescreen, and Staryu dived in, they swam upstream, but Heracross was right on their tail.

Heracross zoomed in, his hands glowing with red energy glowing around his hand. He struck at Staryu, but quickly Staryu dived underwater. The immense energy sent a large wave that shot Horsea, and Staryu high into the sky. Heracross’ horn started glowing green, and spinning. He flew over to Horsea, and drilled her to the ground. Staryu recovered, and turned it into a tackle. Heracross used counter, and they both went flying into the ground.

Mike had treated Zubby with a super potion, and they ran to the aid of Heracross. By the time they got up there the ruby on Staryu was slowly blinking, Horsea was panting hard, and Heracross was lying on the ground. Mike treated Heracross to a Ganesha berry, the ultimate berry, which was native to his hometown of Onsheon City. He had picked the gray, with purple polka dots right before he left. It fully revives the pokemon who eats it, but confuses them.

“Zubby, Confuse Ray, Now!” Mike yelled. Zubby shot out visible supersonic waves. They hypnotized Horsea, and Staryu, causing them to become confused. Staryu, and Horsea began to battle each other. Horsea, and Staryu sped at each other through the water. WHACK! The two beasts collided, and the crystal clear water splashed everywhere.


Mike, Zubby, and Heracross went over plans for battle, and Mike did a level check. It started with the standard identification.

"You are Mike Powerski, in the Advanced League. The closest gym is Leon. His pokemon level range is from 18- 23. Your Heracross is level 18, and your Zubat is level 21. They are both very close to leveling up by one. Your opponents are in the level range of 19-20," the Pokedex stated.

Mike returned his only friend, and faithful pokemon Zubby the Zubat to her pokeball. He sat, and rested in the grass-filled, dark green, soft meadow. Him, and Zubby had not been in one gym battle yet, and Zubby was already really strong. He was thinking about any connections he could find, to help him find his parents. He had thought for ten full minutes, pictures of people his parents knew floated through his head.

That was it! The one guy he could clearly envision was the gym leader of Crenshaw town. He used rock pokemon, and was famous for beating most people, even if they were water or grass trainers. He was obviously tough, and Mike needed to get an edge against him. It would be tough but not only was he going to talk to gym Leader, he was going to beat him.

“Come on Zubby, he said” We’ve got to talk to the gym leader here. It could give me clues about where exactly are they in Constance City, largest city in the world. It is so big, it was the size of some states.” He told Zubby some more, as they got up, running into the town, ready to get closer to Mike’s parent. “We are finally here, Zubby,” Mike said as he came to a stop, and scan the large city.

They walked into the city, full of people, the sky shining bright, and was like two pools of crystal clear blue water. He wandered around the city, fascinated at how beautiful it was. He remembered when he was 5 his mother used to tell him that a legendary Ho-oh, invisible to all that do not have the rainbow feather, keeps this town looking nice. He returned to his objective, and eventually found the town map.

All he had to do is go to the front of this beautiful city, and there would be marble statues that so divinely show every feature of his Nosepass. He wondered what a Nosepass was, so as he was walking to the gym, he pulled out his person computer, the Pokedex. He was walking, and searching for Nosepass at the same time, yet Zubby, who was flying above him, was the only reason he was going the right way.

“Ah I’ve finally found the pokemon, they call Nosepass. Yet it is loading information off of its sources, and it’s only 5% done. Why is it taking so long, I wish you could tell me,” he said talking to Zubby. He was thinking, when a weird thought pierced into his mind. He recognized the voice to be Zubby’s, but how could that be possible. Zubby was a bat. He didn’t know Zubby could do that.

By the time he shook the awe inducing thought from his head the pokedex was ready. http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/pkrs060.gif “Nosepass' magnetic nose is always pointed to the north. If two of these Pokemon meet, they cannot turn their faces to each other when they are close because their magnetic noses repel one another. Nosepass had been said to be completely unmoving, with its magnetic nose pointed due north. However, close observation has revealed that the Pokemon actually moves by a little over .38 of an inch every year. Its magnetic nose allows it to use electric attacks. It is weak to Grass types, and Water types are good against it, but water must watch out for his Zap Cannon attack,” Mike’s pokedex informed him. Mike knew then he should want to catch a grass type along with his water types; it would be better if he caught the grass first. Mike decided to ask the gym leader those questions.

As Mike walked in, and slowly, but slyly he snuck passed all of the many gym trainers. He slowly approached Leon the Gym Leader, a bit nervous. He looked at the man with a Masculine build, and he immediately knew the rumors were true. He could tell by the freaky build, and the scars that he really did train with his tough, and heavy, rock-solid rock pokemon.


“Ah! The last time I saw you, my knee was the size of your whole body. Your parents did leave something behind for you just one year ago, I got it in the mail,” he said as he handed Mike the pokeball. As for the information, I will tell you one thing, and I will save the rest until after you beat me in a gym battle. Your parents loved the pokemon Roselia; you can find them in the meadow. They always wanted you to catch one, and a Staryu, and Horsea, I figure you might like them if you catch them, so look into it,” Leon told Mike. “Just to let you know that our match will be 5v5,” He finished.

Mike nodded, and ran out of the gym. He decided to go to Crenshaw River, and try to scout some Staryu, and Horsea. He ran to the River, and was in awe. He could see the crisp clean grass of the meadow, and Roselia just roaming everywhere. He looked across the river, and saw exactly what he was looking for, A Horsea, and a Staryu, playing together. “So the battle begins,” Mike thought.

“Go pokeballs, Zubby use Wing Attack on both of them, as soon as you come out,” said Mike. The two white, and red balls hit the ground, and two white lights formed shapes. One was the familiar shape of Zubby, but the second one formed an unfamiliar shape, similar to a Goliath beetle. Mike popped out his Pokedex, and scanned the beetle obviously waiting for a command.

http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/pkrs168.gif Heracross charges in a straight line at its foe, slips beneath the foe's grasp, and then scoops up and hurls the opponent with its mighty horn. This Pokemon even has enough power to topple a massive tree. Heracross has sharp claws on its feet. These are planted firmly into the ground or the bark of a tree, giving the Pokemon a secure and solid footing to forcefully fling away foes with its proud horn. Some of its attacks are Tackle, Leer, Horn Attack Endure, Fury Attack, Brick Break, Counter, Take Down, Reversal, and Megahorn.

vellyvell
09-06-2004, 06:15 AM
“Okay, Heracross, leer both of the opposition,” Mike commanded his new pokemon. Heracross took to the air, and zoomed behind Zubby. Zubby struck hard, but the pokemon were still ready for more. Heracross came to a stop, and stared hard at both pokemon. They didn’t like the look, and together they shot out high-pressure amounts of water. Heracross was blasted back into a large tree, and blinked a couple of times. It shook off the water, and looked at Mike for a new command. Mike couldn’t believe how loyal Heracross was already. He looked at Zubby, and knew that Zubby was ready, and then quickly told Heracross, “Leer again. Move out right now!”

Heracross flew out to Horsea, and Staryu again. He stared even harder at them this time. Staryu arose by spinning around, and shot multiple bubbles at Heracross. Horsea shot out a straight blast of water, hard enough to knock out a rampaging Snorlax. Heracross barely stayed in the battle with the blast impacting so hard, but he was very tough, and handled the blast like a true fighter.

Zubby flew in to help her comrade, and Wing attacked them both. They flew into the sub-soil of the water. Staryu jumped out of water, and attempted tackled Heracross, but Zubby sacrificed its own body for Heracross. Zubby, being so light went flying to the ground. Horsea used smokescreen, and Staryu dived in, they swam upstream, but Heracross was right on their tail.

Heracross zoomed in, his hands glowing with red energy glowing around his hand. He struck at Staryu, but quickly Staryu dived underwater. The immense energy sent a large wave that shot Horsea, and Staryu high into the sky. Heracross’ horn started glowing green, and spinning. He flew over to Horsea, and drilled her to the ground. Staryu recovered, and turned it into a tackle. Heracross used counter, and they both went flying into the ground.

Mike had treated Zubby with a super potion, and they ran to the aid of Heracross. By the time they got up there the ruby on Staryu was slowly blinking, Horsea was panting hard, and Heracross was lying on the ground. Mike treated Heracross to a Ganasha berry, the ultimate berry, which was native to his hometown of Onsheon City. He had picked the gray, with purple polka dots right before he left. It fully revives the pokemon who eats it, but confuses them.

“Zubby, Confuse Ray, Now!” Mike yelled. Zubby shot out visible supersonic waves. They hypnotized Horsea, and Staryu, causing them to become confused. Staryu, and Horsea began to battle each other. Horsea, and Staryu sped at each other through the water. WHACK! The two beasts collided, and the crystal clear water splashed everywhere.

Mike, Zubby, and Heracross went over plans for battle, and Mike did a level check. It started with the standard identification.

“You are Mike Powerski, in the Advanced League. The closest gym is Leon. His pokemon level range is from 18- 23. Your Heracross is level 18, and your Zubat is level 21. They are both very close to leveling up by one. Your opponents are in the level range of 19-20,” the Pokedex stated.

While Mike and his pokemon went over battle plans, Horsea used Dive, and whacked Staryu hard. His ruby center was blinking fast. He used Hydro Pump to hit Horsea hard. They were both tired, and ready to collapse.

Heracross used Reversal to charge red energy around his hands again. <Feel my fury> Heracross told the two pokemon, and he knocked them into the air. Zubby flew, and caught him on his wings for a tough wing attack, he dove the ensnared bodies into the ground. Their blood spread. They were ready for capture.

Or so Mike thought.

Staryu used recover, and Horsea was just playing hurt. “Whoa, they were just playing around,” Mike thought. “Heracross, use your Brick Break on Horsea,

“Go pokeballs,” he yelled, as the two balls engulfed the bodies. They shook, and shook so vibrantly, but Mike hoped it locked; it would lead him closer to his parents, closer to the information, closer to Constance City.

Jack of Clovers
09-06-2004, 11:23 PM
story:
your story is out of order and unstructured. most the time i was confused about what is going on.

grammer:
basic grammer mistakes but not bad.

detail:
it's ok, but i didn't get enough from the story.

battle:
short, especially for two Pokemon, let alone one. you're going to have to work a lot harder in the battle and make it longer and better. good descriptions, could be improved.

realty:
you happen to find both Horsea and Staryu in the same area and the same time? not likely. also, Stayu live in salt water, not rivers.

tips:
re-organize and put the plot in order. you also need a longer battle for two Pokemon but i suggest going for one this time then the next another.

Outcome- Horsea and Staryu Not Captured!

~Jack~

vellyvell
09-09-2004, 10:25 PM
story:
your story is out of order and unstructured. most the time i was confused about what is going on.

grammer:
basic grammer mistakes but not bad.

detail:
it's ok, but i didn't get enough from the story.

battle:
short, especially for two Pokemon, let alone one. you're going to have to work a lot harder in the battle and make it longer and better. good descriptions, could be improved.

realty:
you happen to find both Horsea and Staryu in the same area and the same time? not likely. also, Stayu live in salt water, not rivers.

tips:
re-organize and put the plot in order. you also need a longer battle for two Pokemon but i suggest going for one this time then the next another.

Outcome- Horsea and Staryu Not Captured!

~Jack~ sorry for the confusion but its not finished :oops:

Jack of Clovers
09-11-2004, 05:51 AM
oh, sorry. i just saw at the end you that you throw Pokeballs to catch Pokemon. that is how the stories end here... so i thought you were finished. lol. well, you can still use what i said up there to help you with the capture.

~Jack~