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View Full Version : ~* RESCUE *~: A Houndour Story


~* Esper *~
07-18-2004, 12:33 AM
Walking downstairs after a goodnight's rest, Esper could blatently see and smell that his early bird Mom, Sabrina was up making a luscious, and scrumptous smelling breakfast. White smoke filled the room with the smell of eggs, bacon and hashbrowns, Esper's favorite. He got excited, and started running faster down the stairs, slipped on the last step, and fell with his fett going over his head. Sabrina rushed over, but he was fine, though he would have a nice sized bruise on his bottom. He slowly sat down at the wooden, shiny table, as she served him the best breakfast he ever had. He liked it so much, that it appeared he ate it in one bite. As he forced the food down his throat, he suddenly got the urge to go for a walk.

"Well, what are you going to do today, while your on your break from training, " Sabrina asked with a faint, pleasent smile on her face.
"It's funny you should ask, I was just thinking of taking a nice walk," Esper responded with an equally pleasent smile his his face.
"That sounds enjoyable," Sabrina said, "but you must careful" she joked poniting a finger.

Esper smiled back, wiped his face, getting any brumbs from his food, then grabbed hid gear. He started to walk out the door, and realized it was pretty cloudy. It wasn't storm type clouds, but the darkest he's seen yet.

"Shucks, it had to be today," Esper quietly joked.

Esper figured he might as well still walk around, since it didn't look as if a storm was coming. He started to turn towards the right, as he heard a faint, and brief screech from his left, close and around a lot of bushes. He started to walk fast, but started running as he heard the same shreak agin. As he pushed the big, thick bushes to the side, he would occasionally get wacked. He finally arrived at the source, findinng a Houndour to be attacking a small girl. Esper reacted quickly.

"Go Alakazam," Esper said almost as a reflex.

Esper grabbed the first pokeball on his belt, enlargended it, and threw it switfly toward Houndour. In the air, right before it, the pokeball opened, revealing a bright white light that quickly came out. As it hit the ground, it started to form an almost human shaped Pokemon, with a spoon in each hand, and a thick, long mustache. It was Esper's Alakazam. The Houndour let go of the girl's leg, and turned toward Alakazam, growling. The girl got up swiftly, but, tripping over her own feet, stumbled off back to the city.

"Alakazam, quickly, use Thunder Wave," Esper shouted aggresively.

Alakazam clicked his spoons together, lighting them up a bright blue. He started to slowly spread them apart, revealing three, thin light blue electricity bolts that were connected to the spoon. Then, Alakazam swirled the spoons clockwise once, projecting the bolts toward Houndour at an alarming rate. Only two of the three bolts hit Houndour, causing him to hit the ground. But, he wasn't fully paralyzed. Slowly, Houndour started to rise off the ground, extremely angry, and growling intensively. Just as Esper was about to call out another attack, Houndour swiftly did a combined Quick Attack, and Bite. Houndour started running, but got a powerful boost as the Quick Attack clicked in and wasa going so fast, a streak of white light was following him. Then as he got close enough, he bit Alakazam really hard, affecting his whole body, not just his arm. But, Alakazam got knocked off his feet. As Alakazam started to rise back up, Houndour, being the dog he is, took a chep shot and did another bite, but on Alakazam's other arm. That was it, Alakzam fainted.

"Alakazam, return," Esper sadly said. "You did great," he added.

Esper thought for a bit. He pondered on which Pokemon to use next.

"Ok, well, go Metagross," Esper said cautiosuly, and shakingly.

Out came Metagross, very scary, and extremely massive. Houndour took a step back. Metagross banged one time each of it's four arms, on the hard ground's surface, making an echo. And agin, Houndour took another step back, but still fiercely growling. Esper just had to think for a second, of what to do in this situation. Before he could think of something to do, Houndour tried to attack, but the paralysis took an effect, and forced it down to it's knees.

"Ok, well, um use Meteor Mash," Esper said with a unsure tone.

Metagross rose high in the air, floating, and tuscked in all four arms into itself. Then, he started spinning, getting faster, and faster. When he was spinning fast enough, he started to plummet toward Hondour, with a slivery glow shining from him. He got a direct hit, and Houndour was badly injured, barely able to move. He was up, but rocking from side to side, almost ready to fall at any second. Esper thought some more. Then, it clicked, he knew a good attack that would finish it. Houndour started to balance out, looking more and more furious.

"OK, use Hyper Beam, now!" Esper screamed with confidence.

Metagross opened it's mouth, gathering dark yellowish energy. The energy swirled as Metagross opened it's mouth wider. The as he fully opened his mouth, the energy was released in the form of a thick round beam. It swirled as it hit Houndour. There was almost no time for reaction.

"Go, Pokeball," Esper shouted with a smile.

Esper grabbed an empty pokeball from his belt, and threw it. It enlargened as it hit Houndour, making Houndour a thick red light, and forcing it to enter the pokeball. The ball rolled back and forth, back and forth .....



I HOPE IT'S A CAPTURE !!!

** I also submit this in the competition**

Agent Orange
07-18-2004, 12:43 AM
Hmm...not very good.

Detail: Pretty good. The detail is fine.

Reality: Okay...you walk out of your house and you suddenly hear a scream and find the houndour? This is another 'Find and Capture' stories. Not good. Have your charecter get out, challenge a gym...do something!

Length: No.

Battle: Try to make it longer, describe your attacks vividly! Make the reader seem like he is right there watching!

Plot: Basicly, there is no real plot.

Grammar and Spelling: Fine, but you spelt 'Feet', 'fett' in the first part of the story. Typo, doesnt affect your grade.

Outcome: Houndour = Not captured. Try to add intrest and length to it.