View Full Version : Adventures in Giovanni City!

01-10-2007, 01:43 AM
Hi! In this story, Joe and Jim have fun adventures in Giovanni City! [/sarcasm]

Proluge (http://i99.photobucket.com/albums/l296/Jezen_The_Warrior/uggy.png)-0
Who likes? If you want to help, help guest star!!!

Sprite (overworld AND trainer, unless you don't have pokemon, you won't need a Trainer sprite):
Why you want to be in it:

If you pass, pm me some details of the character.

No Spam
No Cussing
Respect Others
No Flaming
NO THEFT OF MY ART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!
Include "comic" in every post, or it will be ignored.

Well, comment now!

01-10-2007, 04:02 AM
Your comic is okay... but it's kinda short. =P Also, you probably shouldn't have put so much speech in one square..

01-10-2007, 01:01 PM
I know. It was just a prluge. This is my first comic.

Deapserate Milotic
01-10-2007, 09:32 PM

Ok, this needs serious work.

First off, where are the text boxes. The basic building blocks to your comics are textboxes. Without them, it show how uncomitted you are to the comic.
The backround is mediocre. Atleast use an actual town backround if none the less. The "slap" panel was very poor. Paint default colors should never be used. Also it did not need its own panel. The plot line is too random. The girl is named Jim? Its has to flow. The prolouge should also be an explanatory, or a basis of what the comic is. Atleast a hint at what the plot is, or how the characters are. You just put randomocity and nothing worth reading. Randomocity doesn't get laughs, the timing and the deivery of the jokes do. Also on the May sprites you didn't even bother to go back and full in the needed white space. There also was no sign that you actually put any effort.
You just copied and pasted sprites, and then you posted it. Comics need effort and time. Atleast more than the one minute you spent on yours.

Learn form these tips, for they will take you places.

01-10-2007, 10:35 PM
Oh, it will get MUCH better in the future. Remember, this is only the FIRST comic!

Legendary Wolf
01-11-2007, 12:05 AM
I like it just make it bigger and with more pictures that sorta thing

01-11-2007, 12:33 AM
It can't really be coincidence that you have a police officer named Joe.

01-11-2007, 12:44 AM
Joe like in Family guy heheh he's an officer

Negative Zone
01-11-2007, 12:46 AM
It can't really be coincidence that you have a police officer named Joe.

Weird just like Azumao.

01-11-2007, 01:00 AM
I never stole. My sister picked the sprite, my friend picked the name.

01-11-2007, 01:01 AM
its quite obvious you didn't put a lot of thought into this, it was porbably done in under a minute. 2 scenes, one with just one word, is a big no-no. For an example of how a good comic should look, ask Jenvy(sorry, Azuamo):wink: