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View Full Version : [STORY CONTEST ENTRY] The Pellet Town Chronicles #3: The Reality Story


[Fair]
07-21-2004, 05:49 AM
Chapter 1: Innocent Beginnings

"For me, it was a 'Wardrobe Malfunction'... I was performing at the Super Plate Halftime Show, and for the grand finale, I was told that I was supposed to pull off a part of Ms. Whackson's costume to reveal a surprise." Bustin Cedarlake frowned. "He never mentioned that there would be nudity involved! What? WHAT? I DIDN'T KNOW!"

"I was shopping at the local grocery store, minding my own business, when he came up to me and said that my arch nemesis, Cold Finger was in the store as well. He said that Cold Finger was going to use a laser to blow a giant hole in the wall! I couldn't let that happen! HOLES ARE BAD!" James Blond sighed. "Fifty cereal boxes, a Pop Tart, and a few cash registers later, I realized that I had been tricked."

"He told me that puff the magic dragon really existed! And that buffalo wings really did come from buffalos!" Everybody in the room looked at Julia Bobberts. "What? They do, don't they?"

"He promised me a free car if I gave him my bank card and password. I never heard him mention that it was a toy car." John Dough looked over at Surelock Homes. "What'd he do to you?"

"Well, Snotson and I were fairly easily tricked into thinking that we had been tricked about being tricked." Surelock paused to scratch his head. "Yeah, both of us are still a little confused about that one."

Two members of Team Sprocket, Betty and Krames, sat in a corner of the room, observing the conversation. Betty spoke up first. "All he did to us was show us our careers as criminals. That was all - we've been tricked enough already!"

James snorted, "There will be alot more tricking still to come too, if you two idiots don't give it up!"

Krames stood up, clearly outraged. "Just you wait, Blondie, we'll get you! And your little kitty cat, too!"

"I don't own a cat!"

"Well I'll BUY you one, give it to you, and when you least expect it, take it back!"

Betty got up and hugged Krames. "Ooh, I just LOVE it when you're evil!" She said, clearly not trying to hide her happiness.

Before James could reply, John stepped in and quickly changed the subject. "So, what it all comes down to is this: we all have one common connection - Hashton Chucher. His only two passions in life are dating much older women, and apparently, tricking helpless Pellet Town citizens."

The thunder outside let out another startling boom. The lights in the room dimmed slightly.

"So you think it's Hashton that's called us to this island?" Surelock asked.

"Yes." John nodded his head.

"I wanna go home!" Julia started walking to the door, but was stopped by John.

"That's what worries me - we can't go home. The boats that brought us here have all left, and we're miles away from the nearest land. The only thing we can do now is wait for our host to show himself."

"You mean me?" The door opened, and Hashton walked in, wearing a pink suit and a feathered hat. "Yes, yes. I know I'm amazing!" Hashton chuckled to himself. "As you have all probably figured out by now, you're all connected by my popular TV show, Skunk'd. Since you're not as awesome as I clearly am, I'm sure you're probably very mad at me for tricking you!"

The assorted people in the room nodded their heads.

"And that is why I'm going to make it up to you!" Hashton smiled. "Since I'm so freaking amazing, I've managed to become stinking rich! I mean, with the TV Show, several successful movies, and the amazing action figures of me, (On Sale Now In Stores Everywhere! BUY ONE TODAY, OR YOU'RE A COMMUNIST!) I don't see how I couldn't be! And that's why I have hidden 8 million dollars somewhere in this mansion. Find it, and not only will I let you keep 1 million each, but I'll also let you leave this island."

John spoke up, with a raised eyebrow, "How do we know that this isn't another one of your stupid pranks?"

"Ah, good question! Since I'm so amazingly psychic, I knew one of you would ask that!" Hashton pulled out what looked like a Television remote and pushed the power button. A large television slowly lowered into the room from the ceiling. It turned on, and the image of a small, shriveled old man could be seen.

"Todd," He said. "I'm tired of this Hashton brat. When do we get to leave?" The man waited a moment and nodded his head a few times as if he was agreeing with somebody. "Yes, I think so, too!"

Hashton rolled his eyes and looked back at the other people around the room. "Don't mind ol' Sloane Of Arc," He whispered. "he thinks that he can talk to some guy named Todd, but I think he's just crazy."

"Why don't you fire him, then?" James asked.

"He's willing to work for less than minimum wage, and recieve no health benefits! Being the fantastic cheapskate I am, I can't complain!" Hashton turned back to the screen and cleared his throat. "Sloane, can you please show my guests the money?"

"Yes sir!" Sloane reached under the table he was sitting at and produced eight giant white sacks. They all had a tempting green "$" symbol on them. Sloane then grabbed the camera and one by one, used it to show the money in each sack.

"Great, now do me a favor, and take the camera to the window, will you? Prove that you're on this island with us."

"Yes sir!" Sloane grabbed the camera and took it over to the window. He opened the curtains and proved that he was indeed on the island.

"But how do we know that you haven't taped this, Hashton?" Surelock asked, with a look of skepticism on his face.

"Well, since I'm so amazing, I'll let you ask good ol' Sloane a question! I couldn't have possibly seen that coming, now could I?"

Surelock thought for a moment, and his face lit up as he got a good question to ask. The other people in the room could almost see the lightbulb lighting up above his head. "Do you know how to dance, Sloane?"

"Why, yes... Yes I do!"

"Do the chicken dance!"

"Alright..." Sloane turned away from the camera for a moment and looked to his side. "Yes, Todd! I know he's a pinhead. What? You want me to do WHAT? But, Todd! The shotgun's at home! I'm sorry! I had to! That Hashton idiot has metal detectors all over this stupid place!"

"Ahem!" Hashton was trying to snap Sloane out of it. "Sloane, you heard the girly man, do it!"

"Girly?!" Surelock started, but he was interrupted by a sudden outburst of clucking from the TV.

Sloane was doing a great chicken impersonation, but he wasn't dancing. Instead, Sloane was stomping around, breaking everything in sight with his "Wings".

"Oh, for the love of Todd, stop that! I paid for all the furniture in this place, you know!" Hashton rubbed his face, and muttered, "If only a talented team of architects and interior decorators would knock on the door and ask to remodel this old mansion of mine."

Just then, the door bell rang. "Who is it?" Hashton asked, running to answer it. He opened the door, and a crowd of people jumped in at him.

"Hi!" Said one. "My name is Thai Pennington, and I'd love to redesign your house for my TV show, Extreme Makeover: Celebrity Home Edition! Behind me is my specialized team that's dedicated to make this happen!" Thai turned around and started pointing them out. "Let's see here, there's the interior decorators, the wood workers, the architects, and of course, the GAY GUYS! (They're here to give YOU a makeover, my friend!)"

"Wow! And this is all free, right?" Hashton asked.

"Indeed it is! We can even start right now! It'll only take a week!"

"And if it takes more than a week?"

"Don't worry, we've got ways to make you forget!" Thai winked.

The various workers spread out around the four level mansion and got right to it.

Completely ignored, the houseguests looked at each other, wondering what to do.

Suddenly, over the loud sounds of jack hammers and drills, Betty and Krames started chanting, "If only we could fly. If only we could fly. If only we could fly. If only we could fly. If only we cou..."

[Fair]
07-21-2004, 05:50 AM
Chapter 2: Hashton's New Show

Seven Days Later...

"...ld fly. If only we could fly. If only we could fly. If only we could fly. If only we could fly."

James looked over and said, "You two are true idiots, you know that?"

Before they could reply, Hashton, followed by all the people from Extreme Makeover, came down the steps and led them out the door. "Bye guys! Thanks for everything! Man, they're almost as awesome as ME!"

Hashton returned to the room. "Now, where was I?"

"Well, we believe that the money's actually here now." James said.

"Ah yes, the money! As I was saying before I was interrupted, 8 million dollars is hidden in this mansion. Find it, and I'll let you leave! Meanwhile, I'll be watching your progress through the many cameras I have placed everywhere."

"Cameras?"

"Yes! Cameras! Your crazy antics are going to become my new TV show, Big Mother! I've even got a slogan worked out for it! Tell me what you think. 'When you don't have anything else to do, watch yo Mama!'"

Hashton excitedly looked around the room, but recieved nothing but blank stares. "Um, maybe I still need to work on it." He scratched his head. "Well, anyways, I'm off to my super secret control room now! See ya!"

Hashton left the room. Suddenly, a loud clap of thunder sounded outside, and the lights in the room went out. Bathed in complete darkness, nobody could see a thing.

"Wow, it's still raining?" Came a voice from one side of the room.

"Yes, that's what you call a plot hole, James. It's something that nobody, not even the author of this story can explain."

"Oh, I see!"

The lights flickered back on momentarily, and the people in the room could see a large elephant standing amongst them. Then the lights went back out.

"Was that a plot hole, too?"

"For our sake, I sure hope so!"

Outside the room, the guests could hear a cry for help. They all rushed to where it sounded like it came from, and Julia Bobberts provided a small amount of light using a match. Looking down, they saw Hashton laying on the floor.

"Is he unconcio...Wait a minute, is that blood?" John asked, looking closer.

"John, he's been stabbed!" James said.

Julia screamed, and blew out the match. "I DON'T WANNA LOOK!"

"Julia! Light another match!" John shouted, angrily.

"No! I don't like dead things!"

"But you eat dead things all the time!"

"What?"

"Well, you eat meat, don't you?"

"You mean..?"

"Yes, Julia! Meat comes from animals!"

Julia screamed again. John was about to ask her to light another match, but the lights came back on. Julia screamed yet another time, and ran into a corner. She sat down and started sucking her thumb, rocking back and forth.

"Let me take a look at him." Surelock said, pushing through the crowd. "Hmmm, it appears that poor ol' Hashton has been stabbed with a candle."

James looked up. "A candle?"

Snotson interrupted, "No, that looks more like the work of a wrench."

John rolled his eyes. "While you're at it, you might as well consider a REVOLVER! Or a rope!"

The power went out again.

"I wish it would stop doing that!" Somebody shouted.

The lights came back on, and it was Betty's turn to scream.

"THE BODY! THE BODY IS GONE!" She shouted, scared out of her wits.

Sure enough, where Hashton once lay was now nothing but a puddle of blood.

James, being an experienced "C EYE A" agent, knew exactly what to do. "Alright," He started. "to solve this mystery, since we're stuck here anyway, I suggest that we split up into two 'Tribes'."

"Tribes? Why not search teams?" Krames asked.

"NO! Tribes are cooler than search teams!"

Krames scowled, but decided to not continue the fight.

James smiled and continued. "Ok. John, Surelock, Snotson and I will be the OOGABOOGA Tribe! The rest of you, Bustin, Team Sprocket and Julia will be the OOMPALOOMPA Tribe! Now, this is the part where we split up and look for CLUE(TM)s!"

"LET'S GO!"

[Fair]
07-21-2004, 05:51 AM
Chapter 3: Fear

"Hello, and welcome to the first ever episode of 'Survivor: Dude, Where Are We?'. In case you can't tell from the title, our captain got a wee bit drunk, and crashed the boat on this island. It doesn't help matters any that it happened in the middle of the night, either. Anyhoo, since I'm stuck here anyway, I might as well narrate this tale of Mysterious Mysteries! (Sorry, my writer usually comes up with better lines, but he got drunk too.) I'm your host, the one and only, Jeff Probes!

"It appears that the OOMPALOOMPA tribe has gone to the second floor of the mansion, and the OOGABOOGA tribe has ventured up to the third floor. Who'll find the cash first? Nobody knows, but my money's on OOMPALOOMPA!"


[OOMPALOOMPA TRIBE]

"Well, this floor is certainly less creepy than the first! That's for sure!" Julia said, with relief.

"Indeed, I just hope that nothing creepy..."

"WHO DARES TO TRESPASS ON MY FLOOR?"

"...happens." Krames sighed. "Why oh why did I have to tick off that witch doctor? My luck is just AWFUL!" Krames sighed again, and looked up to where he thought the bodiless voice might have come from. "We're treasure hunters, Mr. Scary Voice Thing!"

"ARE YOU BRAVE TREASURE HUNTERS?"

Krames thought about it for a minute. "Sure, I guess."

"GOOD. THEN YOU MAY TAKE THE FEAR FACTOR CHALLENGE."

"The...what?" Betty asked, puzzled.

"THE FEAR FACTOR CHALLENGE. YOU MUST OVERCOME YOUR FEARS. SUCCEED, AND I'LL LET YOU INTO THE VAULT ROOM."

"Ooh! Vault room! That sounds promising!" Julia said.

"What if it's a trick?" Betty asked.

"Good question, Betty! Um, what if we don't do it, Mr. Scary Voice Dude?" Krames inquired.

"THEN I SHALL HAVE TO CRUSH YOU ALL ONE BY ONE LIKE THE SMALL WORTHLESS BUGS YOU ARE WITH MY INCREDIBLY LARGE INVISIBLE HANDS!"

"Ouch. We'll do it then." Krames gulped.

"GOOD!"

A few steps down the hall, a door opened. The tribe went in, and looked around. Bugs were everywhere in this room. Crawling on furniture, the ceiling, and even the door they had just opened. Julia, of course, screamed.

"EACH OF YOU MUST EAT A BUG. FAIL, AND I SHALL KILL YOU ALL!"

Krames gulped again. He didn't need to be told twice. He reached down and picked up a particularly juicy spider. Choking back the gags he felt coming, Krames dropped it into his mouth and swallowed. Bustin silently did the same. But the two women of the tribe were having trouble with the task.

"I don't wanna!" Betty screamed.

"Neither do I!" Julia agreed.

A knock came at the door. Krames turned around and asked, "Who's there?"

"KNUCKLE SANDWICH!" The voice shouted. "EAT THE BUGS!"

The girls screamed again. This time though, it wasn't a bad thing - Krames got an idea. He reached down and picked up two Cockroaches. Bugs in hand, he turned to the girls and said, "Betty! Julia! The bugs! THEY'RE CRAWLING UP YOUR LEGS!"

"WHERE?!?!?! WHERE?!?!?!" They screamed, in unison.

Krames threw the bugs into their opened, oversized mouths, and out of panic and sheer surprise, each of them swallowed the creepy crawlers.

The voice started laughing. "GOOD! GOOD! I LIKE IT! THE NEXT DOOR HAS BEEN OPENED!"

Anxious to get away from the bugs, the tribe ran out and found their next objective. The only thing in this room was a ladder.

"WELCOME TO THE SECOND CHALLENGE! THE SPINNING LADDER OF DOOM!" On cue, the ladder started spinning. "GET ON THE LADDER!"

Each tribe member followed the order, and the floor below them opened into a seemingly endless hole.

The voice laughed again. "I BET ALL OF YOU ARE AFRAID OF HEIGHTS!"

The ladder started spinning faster, and faster. So fast, that it made one of Julia's sandles fall off her foot. She looked down and watched helplessly as her designer footwear fell into the pit of dispair.

"Great, now I'll have to buy new ones!"

A second later, she could hear it hitting what sounded like something soft.

"Or will I?" Julia asked, thinking about it. "Guys! Just let go!" Julia yelled, as she released her grip on the ladder.

"Juliaaaaaaaaaa!" Krames shouted, in an overly dramatic kind of way, fearing for the worst.

"Yes?"

"You're alright?"

"Alright? Or course! That voice thing's got tons of pillows down here! Jump down!"

One by one, the rest of the tribe did the same, and each of their landings were nicely broken by an extra cushy pillow.

"NO! SANDALS! I HATE SANDALS! I SWEAR, EVERYTIME I DO THIS CHALLENGE, SOMEBODY'S SANDALS ALWAYS RUIN MY FUN!"

"Why don't you just take out the pillows, then?" Betty asked.

"I CAN'T - THE SAFETY INSPECTOR OF THIS ISLAND WOULD KILL ME IF HE FOUND OUT! UGH!"

"Huh... Well, how do we get out of here?" Krames shouted up the hole.

"THERE'S AN ELEVATOR!"

"Oh cool, you have an elevator down here?"

"YES! THE EXTREME MAKEOVER PEOPLE PUT IT IN LAST WEEK!"

The tribe went up the elevator and saw that another door had opened. This room was different from all the others - it actually looked semi-inviting. The walls were painted a rich red, and the floors were all wooden. Lining the room were bookcases filled with plenty to read. In the center of the wall directly in front of the entrance was a fireplace, beckoning the tribe inside. Four plush chairs sat in the middle of the room. Understanding what they were probably supposed to do, the tribe sat down in them.

"WELCOME, TO THE FINAL CHALLENGE! THIS IS YOUR MOST DIFFICULT TASK YET - YOU MUST LISTEN TO LOVE SONGS FOR AN HOUR WITHOUT LEAVING!"

The girls looked delighted, but the guys just groaned. Speakers lowered from the ceiling and a moment later, they began to play the music. And so started the longest part of Krames's life.

"Oh baby baby, how was I supposed to know, that something wasn't right here? Oh baby baby..."

59 Minutes And 50 Seconds Later...

"...You're here, there's nothing I fear, and I know that my heart will go on, we'll stay forever this way You are safe in my heart, and my heart will go on and on."

"TIME! GOOD, YOU SURVIVED!"

The girls were crying, wiping their eyes on Krames's Team Sprocket uniform. "Oh, wasn't that just beautiful, Krames?"

Krames twitched a few times, and sarcasticly replied, "Sure, Betty, sure." Krames twitched again. "I think my ears are bleeding..."

The door opened, and the tribe walked into the hallway for what they hoped would be one of the last times. At the end of the hall, they could see that the last door was open. Tired, they walked in and saw their goal at last - the safe.

"What's the combo?" Krames asked.

"ZERO!"

"Ok, got it. Next?"

"ZERO!"

"Next one?"

"ZERO!"

"HEY! That's my safe combo, too! You rock Mr. No-Body!" Julia giggled to herself.

Krames rolled his eyes and opened the safe. What he found inside wasn't the 8 million dollars he was hoping for, but instead all he could see were stacks and stacks of Pokémon cards.

"What...why are there Pokémon cards in your safe? You're supposed to keep MONEY in here!" Krames shouted, very angry.

"SILLY HUMAN, THOSE CARDS ARE AS GOOD AS MONEY! THEY'RE ALL FIRST EDITION, LIMITED QUANTITY, FOIL CARDS FROM THE FIRST SET! IN A FEW YEARS, THEY'LL BE WORTH MILLIONS!"

"No they won't! Nobody cares about Pokémon cards anymore! People realized that they were nothing more than a cleverly engineered way to steal all of your money!"

"AH. THAT SUCKS. YOU SEE, I HAVEN'T LEFT THE HOUSE IN A WHILE, SO I DON'T KNOW THESE THINGS..." The tribe heard what they thought sounded like the voice choking back tears. "WILL YOU BE MY FRIENDS? I'M VERY LONELY IN THIS MANSION! PLEASE? YOU CAN STAY HERE FOREVER!"

Krames turned to the tribe and whispered, "Back away slowly. When you get close to the staircase door, run for it!"

"HEY, WHERE ARE YOU GOING? COME BACK!"

OOMPALOOMPA Didn't listen. They just kept backing down the hall.

"I SAID GET BACK HERE!"

Krames turned to his tribe again and shouted, "Forget that, run for it NOW!"

They could feel the hands of the voice behind them, getting closer, and closer, until,

"SHUT IT! SHUT THE DOOR, GUYS!" Krames shouted, diving out. They managed to slam it shut just in time.

The tribe sat down and caught their breath. But fate wasn't going to let them rest. The lights went out again, and a scream shattered the silence of the mansion. When the lights came back on, Julia Bobberts was gone. The only thing left was another puddle of blood.

[Fair]
07-21-2004, 05:52 AM
Chapter 4: Roomates

"Oh! How about THAT? Jeff Probes here again, giving you the results from the first exploration. It started off promising, but in the end, the OOMPALOOMPA tribe came out empty handed! Even worse, they lost a member, too!" Jeff chuckled. "Makes for great TV, though! But that's only one half of the story! While OOMPALOOMPA was investigating the second floor, the OOGABOOGA tribe was doing their thing on the third. Let's see if they can do any better!"


[OOGABOOGA Tribe]

The Oogabooga tribe went through the third floor door, and were surprised to see that they were standing in what looked like a large apartment. In front of them was an expensive looking high definition TV and a comfortable looking couch. Walking down the hall, they found a kitchen, four bedrooms, a bathroom and at the end of it, a wrestling ring.

"I wonder what that's for?" Snotson asked, looking at the ring.

"Who knows?" John answered. "But otherwise, it's really nice up here! Look! They've even got w00t juice!" He said, as he went through the well stocked refrigerator.

"w00t Juice?" James asked, with a puzzled look on his face.

"Yeah! It's the latest sensation! Everybody's drinking it!" John said, as he took a swig from the large bottle. A second later, he started to giggle.

"What's so funny?" James grabbed the bottle from John and took a closer look at it.

"Hee hee, well, you look like a Chipmunk now, James!" John giggled again. "Look! There's a rainbow over there! And the leprachauns are even doing a funny jig on it!" John walked into the living room and stared at a blank wall. "Hey guys, come here! They're giving out gold!" The delirious John picked up a rock off the carpet and put it in his mouth. He giggled again. "It even tastes like fresh rock! THAT'S FUNNY!"

Snotson and Surelock exchanged worried looks, and led the still giggling John into one of the bedrooms and laid him down on the bed inside. They walked out and closed the door behind them.

"What should we do now, James?" Surelock asked, scratching his head.

"Well, I guess we have to stay here until the w00t Juice's effects wear off on John..."

Snotson sighed. "And how long do you think that will be? We've gotta find the money, you know!"

From the bedroom, the detectives and James could hear John shout, "THE TREES! THEY'RE IN THE TREES! DON'T LET THEM GET THE DOUGHNUT! NOOOOOOO!"

James returned Snotson's sigh. "It might be a while. But at least we have a nice place to wait in, right?"

And so they waited...


This is the very untrue story of four strangers,
picked to stay in the third floor apartment of a haunted mansion,
to find out what happens,
when complete shmucks stop being smart,
and start getting WEIRD!
The SORTA REAL WORLD!


An Hour Later...

"WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY MOMMA?" James angrily asked Snotson, with his fists raised.

"I SAID THAT SHE'S UGLIER THAN SURELOCK'S DOG, FOO!" Snotson raised his fists, too.

"WHAT?" Surelock got up from the couch and stomped over to the other roomates.

"OH, PLEASE! MY CAT HAS BEEN SECRETLY DATING HIS DOG!" James shot back. "YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT?"

"WHAT? BUT I THOUGHT SNOTSON'S GOLDFISH WAS DATING MY DOG!"

"NO! YOUR DIRTY DOG WAS CHEATING ON SNOTSON'S GOLDFISH FOR MY CAT! TOGETHER, THEY GAVE BIRTH TO MY MOMMA! HER FOOGLYNESS ISN'T HER FAULT! SHE GOT IT FROM THAT GOOD FOR NOTHING DOG!"

"OH NO YOU DI-INT!" Surelock raised his fists this time.

Suddenly, Berry Zinger appeared in the middle of the angry trio. He smiled and snapped his fingers. A second later, all four of them popped up inside of the wrestling ring the tribe had seen earlier. Berry snapped his fingers again, and the ring was surrounded by a large crowd of deranged hippies. In a corner of the room, a table and two spanish commentators popped up. "BERRY! BERRY! BERRY! BERRY!" Everybody shouted.

"What the...?" Surelock started to ask, confused.

"Welcome one and all to a very special edition of the Berry Zinger show! We're coming to you live from our island mansion wrasslin' ring!"

"How'd we get here?" Snotson whispered to James.

"Well, you see, the thing about Berry is, he's an alien. He probably predicted that our little fight would happen. I mean, whenever you stick four complete strangers into an apartment to live together, there's bound to be a fight sooner or later." James whispered back. "It makes for great TV, I can tell ya that!"

Berry smiled and continued with his narration. "Today we've got quite a fight for you! In the red corner, we have the original Secret Agent Man...JAMES BLOND! In the green corner, we have everybody's favorite sidekick...SNOTSON! And last, but definitely least, in the blue corner, we've got the most cracked out detective you'll ever meet, SURELOCK HOMES!"

"HEY! What do you mean cracked out?! You mothe..."

"LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET'S GET READY TO RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMBLE!" Berry shouted into his microphone. But before he could exit the ring, Surelock tackled him.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the ring, James and Snotson ran at each other and started exchanging punches. Except, none of them actually hit the other person.

"Just like in real wrestling!" James chuckled.

Snotson just shook his head. "No, no, no! You're doing it all wrong! You've got to stomp on the mat everytime you pretend to hit me, just like so!" Snotson demonstrated the technique to an fascinated James.

Surelock ran past James and Snotson and climbed a turnbuckle. He stood up on it and raised an eyebrow for his audience. "CAN YOU SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL...WHERE I'M LOOKING?" The crowd went wild.

James and Snotson stoped their duel for a moment and turned to look at Surelock. "Dude, that doesn't even make sense! If you're going to gloat, you should do it right!" Snotson scolded.

Before Surelock could answer, Berry got up and pushed him off of his perch. Surelock fell right onto the table of the Spanish Commentators, causing it to cave in like a poorly made igloo. "ˇAY CARUMBA!" They shouted.

Snotson smacked his forehead. "I wish I had thought of that! GENIOUS! PURE GENIOUS!"

Berry climbed the turnbuckle and jumped after his fallen prey. "DIE!" He landed right on Surelock, completing a textbook bodyslam.

"ˇAH! ˇMire eso! ˇAsombrar!" The Commentators gleefully shouted.

James and Snotson watched in awe, as Berry gave Surelock one hell of a beating. Suddenly, they were both hit over the head with a steel chair. "THOUGHT YOU'D HAVE A WRESTLING MATCH WITHOUT ME, DID YOU?!?" John shouted, as he knocked his tribe-mates out cold. John looked down at Berry who was far too busy with Surelock to notice what had just happened. John climbed the turnbuckle and did a flying backflip right into Berry, skillfully smacking the alien with the chair before he landed. With Berry out of the way, John smiled down at Surelock. "Your turn!" He brought the chair down hard on the detective.

John looked around the wrestling ring. The crowd was going wild. "Ok, what now?" He scratched his head as he tried to remember the last wrestling match he had seen. "Oh yeah!" John dragged Barry and Surelock towards the ring and threw them both back in. He put the four bodies into a neat pile and laid on top of them, going for the pin.

Suddenly, Bob Dole, wearing a black and white referee shirt appeared and shouted out the count. "ONE...TWO...THREE!" John got up and the politician raised his hand high into the air. "WE HAVE A WINNER!"

"So, do I get anything for beating all these foos up?"

Bob dug around in his pockets and pulled out a giant key. "You win this!"

"Darn... I thought you were just happy to see me, Mr. Dole!"

Bob shot John a dirty look and tossed him the key. He looked around and snapped his fingers. Suddenly, the crowd, the spectators and Berry Zinger all disappeared. Bob reached into his pocket and produced a bright "Vote For Dole!" sticker and slapped it onto John's shirt. Satisfied with his work, Bob Dole snapped his fingers again and disappeared.

"Huh... How odd." John looked down at the detectives and James. "Well, I guess I better wake them up." John pulled off his shoes and stuck his feet into the faces of his fallen comrades. They all jerked awake and got up, rubbing their heads. "Rise and shine, guys! Time to find the other tribe!"

"John...is that you? Oh man, you got us good..." Surelock said, as he started limping towards the exit.

"A little too good, in fact. Let's never mention this again, ok?" James commented.

"Fine, whatever..." John rolled his eyes.

Just then the lights went out. When they came back on, the Detectives were missing. The only thing left were two puddles of blood.

[Fair]
07-21-2004, 05:57 AM
Chapter 5: The End Of A Career

"WOW! WHAT A FINISH! I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE *BLEEP* JUST HAPPENED! Hello folks, Jeff Probes here again giving you the after exploration recap. Like I said before," A whisper came from the side of Jeff, and he leaned over to hear a little better. "I said WHAT? Aw, *BLEEP*! Now the FCC is going to sue me! I know it! I don't have the *BLEEP* MONEY EITHER! GREAT I'M GOING TO BE BACK LIVING IN THE *BLEEP* STREET AGAIN! WHY MUST THOSE *BLEEP* CENSOR EVERYTHING I SAY? *BLEEP*! *BLEEP*! *BLEEP*! *BLEEPITY BLEEP*!

Behind Jeff, a helicopter landed, and two suit wearing thugs got out of it. They scanned the island, and when they located Jeff, they didn't hesitate to take him away.

With one last, "YOU *BLEEPITY BLEEPING BLEEPERS*!" he was gone.

[Fair]
07-21-2004, 05:58 AM
Chapter 6: A Trivial Climax

[Both Tribes]

The tribes came together back on the first floor, and caught their breath.

John looked over to Team Sprocket. "So, how'd you guys do?"

Krames scowled. "Quite well! We were forced to eat bugs, climb onto a giant spinning ladder and were forced to listen to love songs for an hour. Oh, then Julia Bobberts was murdered. Really, we did just dandy. Thanks for asking."

"No money?" John asked, disappointed.

"Don't you think we'd be a bit happier if we did find it!?" Betty took a moment to calm down. "How about you?"

James hesitated. "We didn't find it, either. That floor was just a perfectly normal part of a normal mansion. Yup, yup, nothing strange or outlandish happened to us! No sir!"

Betty raised an eyebrow but decided to leave the topic alone. A lightbulb turned on above her head as she thought of something. "Since the detectives aren't with you, I'm going to guess that they're dead. Correct?"

"Yes..." James replied, slightly surprised by Betty's sudden spurt of intelligence.

"Therefore the killer has struck four times. It has to be one of us, as well, since I've seen nobody else in this mansion."

"Go on."

"Doesn't it make you just a little scared that you're standing next to a serial killer right now?"

John was starting to become a little paranoid. "It sure does!"

"Why, the lights could go out again, and the killer could strike at any moment!" Betty finished, with an eyebrow raised.

The lights suddenly went out, and when they came back on, Bustin was missing.

"SEE? LIKE THAT!" Betty shrieked. "I COULD HAPPEN AGAIN, TOO!"

The lights went out again, and when they came back on, James was missing.

"AHHHH! THERE'S ONLY THREE LEFT!" A dog trotted into the room. "OH GOOD! THE NICE LITTLE PUPPY DOG WILL COMFORT US!"

The lights went out yet again. When they came back on, the dog was gone, too.

"WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP? YOU'RE ENCOURAGING THE KILLER!" Krames tackled Betty, and covered her mouth.

More than just a little freaked out by all of this, John studied the key his tribe had received on the third floor.

"Hey guys, look at this! It says it's for use on the first floor west wing doorway!"

Betty and Krames got up and took a look. Sure enough, it was inscripted into the side of the key.

"What are we waiting for, then? Let's open er' up!" James said, with mild excitement.

The last survivors found the door and opened it up. Inside was a massive TV studio. It was like a small colosseum. Enough seats to seat five or six hundred people surrounded a middle circle that was empty except for two fancy looking chairs.

"Wow..." John said, in amazement, as he walked inside.

"GRAB HIM!" Krames shouted. Before John knew it, Betty and Krames were leading him down to one of the chairs. They threw him into it.

"What are you doing? LET ME GO!"

"They work for me, John. They won't let you escape until I tell them to."

Ashton Chucher walked through the doorway, and made his way to the other seat. "Surprised to see me?"

"BUT YOU'RE DEAD!"

"I know, I know, but I'm just way too AWESOME to die! No silly, that was all makeup and good acting from Team Sprocket."

"Then what about the other people you brought here?"

"SLOANE! GET YOUR LAZY BEHIND OUT HERE!" Hashton shouted.

Sloane came out of a wall through a trap door and sat down in one of the higher rows of the seats. "Yes, sir?"

"BRING IN THE PRISONERS!"

Sloane angrily mumbled to himself, and disappeared through the trap door. A moment later, Julia, Bustin, The Detectives, James and the dog all came out and sat down. Sloane emerged from the trap door with a machine gun, and stood behind them.

"See? I would never harm them! The blood was all fake! Killing people would take away from my AMAZING image! Instead, I had Team Sprocket kidnap them, and bring em' to me everytime the lights went out." Hashton said, with an abnormally bright smile.

"But the lights were only out for a few moments each time!"

"That's what you call a plot hole, John." Hashton winked.

"Ah, I see... Well, if nobody's been hurt, let us go!"

"Nope, that would be just too easy!" Hashton chuckled to himself. "If you want to leave, you'll have to play in my AMAZING new gameshow..." Hashton paused for a moment, as if he was waiting for something to happen. He looked up at Sloane. "LOWER THE SIGN YOU IDIOT!"

"Yes Todd, I wish I could, too! Let's just wait a little while first." Sloane pulled a remote control out of his pocket, pushed a button, and above him, a giant sign that read, "WHO WANTS TO BE A ZILLIONAIRE? LMAO!" slowly lowered down. He pushed another button and the 8 money sacks the castaways saw earlier fell down from the roof. Each one narrowly missed Hashton.

"ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?" Hashton shouted in outrage.

Sloane chuckled to himself, but he shook his head no.

"I should fire that dude..." Hashton mumbled to himself. "Anyways, if you win, I'll not only let you all go, but I'll give you all the money, too!"

"Fine. Let's play, then."

Sloane pushed yet another button on the controller and touch screens lowered from the ceiling and positioned themselves in front of Hashton and John. Sloan activated his, signed in, and John's screen turned on.

"Ok! Answer all my questions correctly and you win! I'll even give you three "Lifelines" to help out! At any point in the game, you can choose to "Pull The Audience", have me "Steal Your Chair" or you can try the breathtaking "Have A Random Dude Sing You The Answer"! Aren't I AWESOME?"

"Um, sure..." John replied, afraid to tell the demented superstar what he really thought of him.

"Alright! Let's get my AMAZING game started!
Question One:
What came first, the chicken of the egg?
A: The Egg
B: The Chicken
C: Both
D: THE MONGOOSE!"

John thought about the question for a moment. You need an egg to get a chicken, but you need a chicken to get an egg. So those two were out. Those two facts also ruled out option C, so therefore, the only logical answer left was D. "I choose D!"

"Are you sure about that, John?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure that you're sure?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure that you're sure about being sure?"

"Yes!"

"So it would be safe to assume that D is your final answer?"

"YES!"

"Ok." Hashton typed something into his screen. "Survey says...D IS THE RIGHT ANSWER! YAAAAY FOR YOU!" Hashton chuckled to himself. "Now it starts getting harder!
Question Two:
I am thinking of a number between one and a million. What is that number after it's divided in half, multiplied by four and squared?
A: D
B: C
C: B
D: A"

"That doesn't even make sense!"

"Sure it does! All of my questions make sense! Some people just aren't as highly advanced as me!"

John rolled his eyes. "I would like to have a Random Dude Sing Me The Answer!"

"Good choice! Sloane! Summon the singer!"

"Ah, hold your horses! I'll do it when I'm done cutting my toe nails!" Sloane yelled back, as he went for a big one hanging off of his big toe.

"DO IT NOW, YOU FAT SLOB! WHEN I ASK YOU TO DO SOMETHING, I EXPECT YOU TO DO IT!"

"I said, WAIT!"

"YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE FIRED! GET OFF MY ISLAND BEFORE I KICK YOUR LAZY BEHIND ALL THE WAY TO THE RANDOM CITRUS FRUIT ISLANDS!"

"You...FIRED ME? You can't fire me!"

"OH YES I CAN! WHEN SOMEBODY'S AS AMAZING AS ME, THEY CAN DO ANYTHING THEY WANT!"

An evil look suddenly came across Sloane's face. "Yes Todd, now's the time. Let's see how 'Amazing' Hashton is when you're done with him." Sloane pushed a button on his remote control and the, "WHO WANTS TO BE A ZILLIONAIRE? LMAO!" sign went back up into the ceiling. He pushed another button and a new sign lowered down. This one said, "WHO WANTS TO BEAT UP A ZILLIONAIRE? ROFLMAO U N00B!". "Go get him, Todd!"

Everybody in the TV Studio could hear the sound of somebody jumping down from the seats and landing in the middle circle - right next to Hashton. Sloane snapped his fingers, and the mysterious Todd finally appeared...

"Wow... He's short!" John said, as he looked at Sloane's "Imaginary Friend".

"He's asian!" Julia shouted.

"That's a cool little suit he's wearing!" Snotson admired.

"And just look at that hat! It's edges look almost kind of sharp!" Surelock said, as he squinted his eyes to get a better look.

Suddenly, James Blond gasped. "It can't be! I thought he was in jail! IT'S MY MOST LETHAL ENEMY! TODD JOBB!"

Sloane patted James on the back. "Don't worry, my friend. Todd's working for me now, and I mean you no harm. Let's go, guys." Sloane opened the door that he and his former prisoners had entered from.

"What about me?" John asked, slightly panicked.

"Oh, yes. Of course... Todd, see that John gets out of the room before you start, will you? We'll meet you out front, John. I'll take us all home in Hashton's hidden speed boat."

Todd nodded, gave John the eight money bags and walked him to the main entrance of the studio. Once John was through the doors, Todd started to close them. But before he was shut out, John saw Todd produce a feather from his suit and shout, "TICKLE TIME!" to a terrified Team Sprocket and Hashton Chucher.

[Fair]
07-21-2004, 06:00 AM
Chapter 7: Escape...

Sloane started the speed boat up and got everybody on board. A few minutes later, Todd came out of the mansion with a satisfied look on his face and joined the Pellet Town citizens on their getaway vehicle. Sloane smiled as he hit the gas and left Hashton's island, hoping that he would never have to return there again. Eight people had survived Hashton's twisted "Reality Show". And those same eight people; James Blond, John Dough, Surelock Homes, Snotson, Julia Bobberts, Bustin Cedarlake, Sloane Of Arc and Todd Jobb, were all a million dollars richer. Not bad for a week's work. Not bad at all...


Back On The Island, An Hour Later...

Hashton and Team Sprocket walked outside of the mansion. "They took the speedboat! That was our only way off the island!" Hashton shouted.

"Don't you have a cellphone or something? I mean, you're rich." Krames asked.

"No, I'm waaaay too FANTASTIC to use cellphones."

"So, we have no way of getting help?" Betty asked, with a scared look on her face.

"Not quite. I do still have this." Hashton pulled a Pokéball out of his pocket.

Betty giggled with excitement. "YAY! Alright, we'll just catch a fish Pokémon and then use it to get out of here!"

"Ok!" Krames pulled out a Pokéball. "Go Raichu!" He threw it, and the small Pokémon popped out. "Use Thunderbolt to shock a Pokémon out of the nearby water!" Raichu followed the order. A few moments later, a small Magikarp landed on the island. It started flapping it's way back to the ocean.

"Don't let it get away! Use Thundershock!"

Raichu let loose with a powerful attack to the small fish. The attack was super effective. The Magikarp stopped flapping for a moment.

"Is it paralyzed?"

Suddenly, it started flapping again. It was getting closer to it's destination.

"Finish it off, Raichu! USE THUNDERBOLT!"

The Raichu promptly followed it's master's order and unleashed yet another powerful attack. It hit the Magikarp, and again, it stopped moving.

"I'm not going to wait this time! Go, Pokéball!"

The Magikarp was swallowed by the Pokéball. It shook once, twice...

HKim
07-21-2004, 06:48 AM
Interesting...


Reality: No reality here whatsoever.

Detail: Average details, nothing outstanding.

Grammar: No Comment.

Plot: I have a hard time following the story. A bit confusing here and there.

Battle: Short, very short.

Creativity: You have a unique plot.

Overall: Excellent story! You have combined comedy with the URPG story to bring us something new and exciting. This much writing, added with your wonderful ideas, are enough to catch one measly Magikarp.

Magikarp captured!

[Fair]
07-21-2004, 06:57 AM
Chapter 8: Stranded

"Yes! We caught the Magikarp!" Hashton picked up the Pokéball and started jumping up and down with it. "WE CAUGHT IT! WE CAUGHT IT! WE CAUGHT IT! WE CAUGHT IT!" But in all of Hashton's jumping, he lost balance and fell over. The Pokéball flew out of his hands and landed right in the last place he wanted it to go -- the ocean.

Betty screamed, Hashton broke down into tears, and Krames just said, "Hashton, that is sooooo not awesome...".

"WE'RE STUCK ON THIS ISLAND NOW! FOREVER! AND EVER! ALL BY OURSELVES! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Betty shrieked.

Suddenly, from the second floor of Hashton's mansion, a voice shouted down to them, "NO YOU'RE NOT! YOU THREE CAN BE MY FRIENDS! THOSE OTHER PEOPLE RAN AWAY FROM ME, BUT IT LOOKS LIKE YOU HAVE NOWHERE TO GO! WE'RE GOING TO HAVE SO MUCH FUN TOGETHER!"

And so, our story ends...or does it?

[Fair]
07-21-2004, 07:03 AM
And now, I can get to what will really make this story unique... The special features. Yes, that's right, I just said special freaking features. Much like a DVD, this story has deleted scenes, an alternate chapter, a preview for a possible sequel and even some credits... :wink:

DELETED SCENES

Deleted Scene #1: The Origins Of The Island

I wanted to show how Hashton bought the island. So, after thinking about it for a little while, I came up with a brilliant idea, and this little scene was born. I took it out of the story because I thought it would be better to begin with the Houseguests saying how Hashton had Skunk'd them. Lucky for you, I didn't delete it! :silly:

------------------------------------------------

[In A Small Café, Two Years Before This Story]

"So, you want to buy my island, eh?"

"Yes" Hashton replied, as he took a sip of his Fatkins diet approved double mocha coffee beverage thingy.

The man studied Hashton for a moment. "Why would a big time star like you want an island?"

"To build an evil lair where I can plot AMAZINGLY devious ways to take over the world, of course!"

The man's eyes widened. "Really?"

"Nah, not really. Actually, I just have tons of money that I got a sudden urge to spend. I don't know, maybe I'll build a giant mansion on it or something... Cuz I'm just that darn AWESOME!"

"Interesting. Well, if you promise to take good care of my island, I'll sell it to you. I have alot of history with that magical place."

"Like what?"

"Well, a tour boat I was traveling on crashed on the island, stranding myself and 6 others there for a very, very, long time. We managed to find food for a while, but eventually our luck ran out. So, I did what any smart man would do."

"Which is...?"

"I killed all the others in their sleep. Then I ate their flesh while I used their bones to build the boat that I used to finally sail back to civilization."

This time it was Hashton's eyes that grew big. "WHAT?"

"Heh, heh... Just kidding..."

"Oh, good."

"Heh, yeah... Um, but if you get there, and you happen to find some blood, erm, everywhere, don't worry about it. It's perfectly natural. Probably just grew out of the sand or something..."

"Right... Well, here's the money." Hashton put a large suitcase on the table. The man opened it up and inspected it's contents.

"Good. Here's what you'll need to find it," The man gave Hashton a map and a sheet of directions. "and here's the deed. It's yours now, my friend!"

"Alright! Nice doing business with you, Mr... I'm sorry, I didn't get your name."

"People just call me Gilligan." The man said with a smile. He got up and with one final nod to Hashton, left the Café.




Deleted Scene #2: When Hashton Met Sloane...

I had to somehow make fun of the Apprentice. It just needed to be done. Like Deleted Scene #1 though, I took this one out because the beginning I chose just looked right. It worked. This one on the other hand, didn't...

------------------------------------------------

[In An Office Building, Two Months Before This Story]

Hashton sat behind a large desk inside of his personal office. He closed his comic book and pushed the intercomm button of his phone to talk to his receptionist. "Ashley, send them in."

"Yes sir!" She replied.

A moment later, his office doors opened and three people walked in and sat down.

"Now, I'm not very happy with how you three did in your task. I told you to go out and bake chocolate chip cookies to sell to people in the street. Instead, you screwed up so horribly, I don't even know how to begin to describe it! Incredible Bulk, you go first. What happened out there?"

"Sloane bake cookies. We go to street. Nobody buy."

"Can you explain to me why you destroyed half a city block?" Hashton asked, with a raised eyebrow.

"Bulk was angry! BULK SMASHED!"

"Medusa, what do you think about the Bulk's actions?"

"Ssssssss... Well, sssssir, I don't like what he did. Not at all. I would have kept my temper under control."

"BUT BULK WAS ANGRY! BULK HAD TO SMASH!"

"Sloane, what do you think?"

"Well, Todd and I sold a few cookies."

"Who's Todd?"

"Todd's my friend. You can't see him, but trust me, he's threre."

"Ok, weird... Well, Slaone managed to sell some cookies, Bulk. You could have too. But since you're not as AMAZING as me, you didn't. That's why I must fire you."

"WHAT? YOU CAN'T FIRE BULK! BULK FIRE YOU! BULK SMASH!" The giant got up and raised his fists.

With a yelp, Hashton ducked under his desk. "Somebody stop it!" He screamed.

"Yessssss sssssir!" Medusa got up and looked at the Bulk. Instantly, the giant creature was petrified.

Hashton got up and sat back down. "Good work, Medusa, good work."

"Are you okay, ssssssir? Your pantssss look a little wet."

"I'm fine. Just fine. I just spilled my coffee. Yeah... That's it... Anyway, it's down to you two." Hashton winked at the remaining contestants. "While I admire myself in this mirror, tell me why you think you should get the job."

"Well, I'm a very hard worker. I like long walkssss on the beach, and I can turn all of your enemiesssss to sssstone in a heartbeat."

"Good, good, I like that! How about you, Sloane?"

"Well, I have good people skills, I'm a good singer, and I can do THIS!" Suddenly, the mirror floated out of Hashton's hands. Magically, it glided through the air and stopped in front of Medusa. The creature looked into the mirror and instantly turned to stone.

"Wow! MEDUSA JUST TURNED HERSELF INTO A STATUE! I like it! Medusa, you're fired! Sloane, you're hired! How'd you do it?"

Sloane just smiled and said, "Well, I believe in Todd, sir. I believe in Todd."




Deleted Scene #3: Juice

Originally, I made Bustin a silent character as a way to explain where the "Blood" of "Murdered" tribe members came from. But I ended up taking it out for two reasons: One, it just wasn't as funny. Two, it would have made my twist in the end a little easier to see coming. Oh well...

------------------------------------------------

"Why don't you ever talk?"

Bustin hesitated for a moment. "Well, I just do so much singing that it hurts to speak sometimes. My throat is really sore right now."

Krames smiled. "I've got the thing for you, my friend!" He reached into his pocket and pulled out a High-Sea Juice Box. "Here! Drink this! It's cherry flavored!"

"Thanks!"

[Fair]
07-21-2004, 07:06 AM
Deleted Scene #4: The Pirate Strikes Again

I just had to write a pirate scene... I mean, it's become a tradition for me to put him into every story I write! In the last two stories, the Pirate asked riddles to piss people off. But this time around, he has a new trick.

------------------------------------------------

"Hey guys, look at this!" John shouted, as he looked at a small button on one of the Apartment's walls. "It says, 'Push For Help'!"

"Dude, Hashton probably disabled that. I don't think he'd want anybody spoiling his fun. Kind of ironic, considering that he's dead now." James chuckled.

"Screw it, I'm going to push it."

"Do whatever you like, man. It's not going to work." James just shook his head and walked off.

A Few Minutes Later...

A large helicopter landed on a side of the island, and a coast guard jumped out. "This is where the distress signal came from?" He peered through his sun glasses at the mansion. "Not bad. Whoever built this place must have a LOT of money." He walked to the front door. When he got there, somebody on the inside knocked on it. "Um, that's never happened to me before." The person knocked again. "Who's there?"

"Pirate! ARRRRR!"

"Pirate who, sir?"

"ME! HARHARHARHARHAR!"

"Sir, I recieved a distress signal from this mansion. Can you please let me in so I can check it out?"

Instead of answering, the Pirate knocked again.

"Sir..."

Another knock...

The coast guard sighed. "Who's there?"

"Pirate!"

"Pirate who?"

"ME! HARHARHARHARHAR!"

"Oh man, this is really stupid. Sir, let me in."

Yet another knock.

"Who's there? Oh, wait, let me guess, Pirate?" The coast guard paused for a moment, then continued. "Pirate who?"

"PIRATE BEHIND YOU!"

"What?" The coast guard quickly turned around, but there was nothing but sand and an ocean behind him.

"HARHARHARHAR! MADE YOU LOOK! HARHARHARHAR!"

"Ugh! I give up!" The coast guard got back into his helicopter and flew away.

A Few Minutes Later...

"See? I told you nobody would come!"

"Shut up, James... Shut up..."




Deleted Scene #5: Crossovers

I decided to take this scene out because it really only makes sense if you've read The Pellet Town Chronicles #2: A Superhero Story. So, before you read this next part, I recommend that you go check that out first. Don't worry, this'll be here when you get back. I pwomise.

------------------------------------------------

"I would like to use 'Have A Random Dude Sing Me The Answer'!"

"Good choice!" Hashton typed something into his touch screen, and a second later, a large disco ball lowered from the ceiling. He typed something else in, and a set of large speakers also lowered. They started to play what sounded like a techno remix of "Mary Had A Little Lamb". Then, suddenly, a large man ran into the studio and started singing along. Except, none of the words that came out of his mouth were englinsh. In fact, they weren't words at all! He was singing gibberish!

"Sdflhglsj! Slldhjgl ldkjlke oidl oijhd djdkoiepow lshvoi! Wosdihvo wwpoeiehvlksnlhgsl lknvsoijheolihnv! $#^&#%$@$@#^$^*^*(%#$$^$%*&$%^ DSLGJDSLHgsdglkdn oiroisdkihsioureojlds DSgolidhglidjgdshgloihesr Dhgoshjoihe!!!"

"Um, Hashton, who is this person?"

"I'm not sure, actually... My good friend Cill Blinton gave him to me. Cill seemed happy to get rid of him, now that I think about it. Sloane! Get rid of this blubbering idiot, will you?"

Sloane grumbled to himself as he pushed a button on his remote. Suddenly, a large script fell through the ceiling.

"What was that?!" Hashton asked, outraged. "The Extreme Makeover people just rebuilt that ceiling, too!"

John walked over to it. "Why, it looks like this story... That's odd. I wonder how it ends..." But before John could pick it up, the random singing dude ran over and snatched it off the ground. Suddenly, he disappeared.

"Uh oh... That can't be good..."

[Fair]
07-21-2004, 07:08 AM
Chapter 4 (Alternate): WTF?!?!? -- (The Random Chapter Of Doom)

The OOGABOOGA Tribe stood in front of the third floor door. On it was a big red sign that said,

"CAUTION: HAPPY GAS INSIDE! HALLUCINATIONS AND EXTREME INSANITY ARE LIKELY! PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK!"

The detectives were having second thoughts about entering, but John and James both said, "Sounds fun!" in unison and ran in, pulling the sleuths behind.

It was an amazing place. The tribe had entered an expansive grassland with blue, purple and yellow hills. Above them, they could see a beautiful rainbow.

John's eyes widened. "We're close to the end of the rainbow! Let's go and get the pot of gold, guys!"

The tribe ran to the rainbow and were rewarded with the biggest pot they had ever seen in their lives. It was taller than all four of them put together, and fatter than a creampuff after being injected with botox.

"Hey! Let's use that magical ladder over there and jump in!" John shouted.

And they did.

But, to their surprise, there was no gold in the pot at all. Instead, what they found was a shriveled up old man who tended to mumble alot.

"Hey shriveled up old man who tends to mumble alot!" Said Surelock. "Who are you, and why are you here?"

"My name is Ozzie Osborn, and I come here to inhale as much of this wonderful air as possible."

"Cool! Let's join him, guys!" Snotson exclaimed.

And they all spent the next five minutes slowly inhaleing and exhaleing.

"YAAAAY! I CAN SEE GORILLAS NOW!" James shouted.

"I SEE HIPPOPOTOMASES!" John exclaimed.

"WE CAN FLY!" The detectives shouted in surprise.

And they all did a merry jig.

"Let's go now!" The detectives said.

And they all tapped their heels together and flew out of the magical pot.

"WHO BE YOU?" A giant leprachaun asked the unfortunate tribe members.

"We be door to door salesmen!"

"GOOD! I'VE BEEN WANTING ANOTHER DANCING GOPHER FOR A WHILE NOW!"

And the tribe sold the leprachaun the happiest happy dancing gopher they had.

And they all did a merry jig.

Then Bob Dole appeared.

"Help!" He said. "Help me, please! In these sacks are various furry creatures! I need to figure out which one is the mole before it sabotages my toe nail collection even more!"

"This sounds like a job for BLUE!" A giant blue dog appeared in front of the assorted people. It pooped on the leprachaun's feet, and pointed to a bag. Bob Dole opened it up, and a furry mole popped out.

"THANKS FOR THE CLUE, BLUE!" And they all sang the song that they sang every time Blue appeared out of the sky.

And Blue pooped on everybody's feet. Again.

"C'mon, guys! Let's leave now!" John said, turning to the exit.

"WAIT!" Said the leprachaun. "THERE'S A GIANT KEY FALLING OUT OF THE SKY! THE MAGICAL TORTOISE DROPPED IT!"

The tribe caught it and went out the door.

"Erm, well... That was interesting, wasn't it?" Surelock asked.

"Yeah. If anybody asks, that never happened, ok?" John replied.

"Good idea." James and Snotson said in unison.

Just then the lights went out. When they came back on, the Detectives were missing. The only thing left were two puddles of blood.


Credits

James Blond: figgy20000
John Dough: Neo Pikachu
Surelock Homes: Ierdar
Snotson: mLugia
Julia Bobberts: Dratini
Bustin Cedarlake: Matt & Vulpix
[TS] Betty: Shroomish
[TS] Krames: [Fair]
Hashton Chucher: theElimN8r
Sloane Of Arc: Dapkmnguy_3000
Todd Jobb: HKim
Jeff Probes: lil_leprachaun33
Thai Pennington: Matthew
Bob Dole: Bob Dole
Berry Zinger: Kooolcurtis
Spanish Commentators: Marth
Bodyless Voice: X
Suit Wearing Thug #1: Dark Pikachu
Suit Wearing Thug #2: Nick the Angelic
The Pirate: [Fair]
Ashley: Silverfrost
Medusa: Ashlee Simpson
The Incredible Bulk: Saitou
Gilligan: PE2K
Coast Guard: Channel Delibird
Random Dude: stripeduck
Ozzie Osborn: Flareon008
Leprachaun: Vellyvell


Preview

"Hey Sloane, didn't we pass that rock an hour ago?"
"I think we might've..."

JUST WHEN THEY THOUGHT THE ADVENTURE WAS OVER

"And that small island looks familiar, too! Do you know where we are?"
"Well, um, no... I don't..."

JUST WHEN THEY THOUGHT THEY WERE SAFE

"SLOANE! I THOUGHT YOU KNEW HOW TO GET US HOME!"
"I did, I did... But now I don't. I erm, forgot."
"I demand that you pull over to the next island we see to ask for directions!"

DISASTER STRUCK

"ICEBERG! STRAIGHT AHEAD!"
"Iceberg?! Where?"
"THERE!"

THE ONLY THING MORE DIFFICULT THAN ESCAPING THE ISLAND

"How the hell could you crash into an iceberg that big? YOU IDIOT!"

IS SURVIVING THE JOURNEY HOME

The Pellet Town Odyssey
It's all GREEK to them...
Coming Winter 2004

Jack of Clovers
07-23-2004, 09:57 PM
i think this is your best Pellet Town story yet. crazy yet sane at the same time. great work. i laughed all the way through.
heh, DVD specials... lol

~Jack~

vellyvell
07-23-2004, 10:32 PM
']Chapter 4 (Alternate): WTF?!?!? -- (The Random Chapter Of Doom)

The OOGABOOGA Tribe stood in front of the third floor door. On it was a big red sign that said,

"CAUTION: HAPPY GAS INSIDE! HALLUCINATIONS AND EXTREME INSANITY ARE LIKELY! PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK!"

The detectives were having second thoughts about entering, but John and James both said, "Sounds fun!" in unison and ran in, pulling the sleuths behind.

It was an amazing place. The tribe had entered an expansive grassland with blue, purple and yellow hills. Above them, they could see a beautiful rainbow.

John's eyes widened. "We're close to the end of the rainbow! Let's go and get the pot of gold, guys!"

The tribe ran to the rainbow and were rewarded with the biggest pot they had ever seen in their lives. It was taller than all four of them put together, and fatter than a creampuff after being injected with botox.

"Hey! Let's use that magical ladder over there and jump in!" John shouted.

And they did.

But, to their surprise, there was no gold in the pot at all. Instead, what they found was a shriveled up old man who tended to mumble alot.

"Hey shriveled up old man who tends to mumble alot!" Said Surelock. "Who are you, and why are you here?"

"My name is Ozzie Osborn, and I come here to inhale as much of this wonderful air as possible."

"Cool! Let's join him, guys!" Snotson exclaimed.

And they all spent the next five minutes slowly inhaleing and exhaleing.

"YAAAAY! I CAN SEE GORILLAS NOW!" James shouted.

"I SEE HIPPOPOTOMASES!" John exclaimed.

"WE CAN FLY!" The detectives shouted in surprise.

And they all did a merry jig.

"Let's go now!" The detectives said.

And they all tapped their heels together and flew out of the magical pot.

"WHO BE YOU?" A giant leprachaun asked the unfortunate tribe members.

"We be door to door salesmen!"

"GOOD! I'VE BEEN WANTING ANOTHER DANCING GOPHER FOR A WHILE NOW!"

And the tribe sold the leprachaun the happiest happy dancing gopher they had.

And they all did a merry jig.

Then Bob Dole appeared.

"Help!" He said. "Help me, please! In these sacks are various furry creatures! I need to figure out which one is the mole before it sabotages my toe nail collection even more!"

"This sounds like a job for BLUE!" A giant blue dog appeared in front of the assorted people. It pooped on the leprachaun's feet, and pointed to a bag. Bob Dole opened it up, and a furry mole popped out.

"THANKS FOR THE CLUE, BLUE!" And they all sang the song that they sang every time Blue appeared out of the sky.

And Blue pooped on everybody's feet. Again.

"C'mon, guys! Let's leave now!" John said, turning to the exit.

"WAIT!" Said the leprachaun. "THERE'S A GIANT KEY FALLING OUT OF THE SKY! THE MAGICAL TORTOISE DROPPED IT!"

The tribe caught it and went out the door.

"Erm, well... That was interesting, wasn't it?" Surelock asked.

"Yeah. If anybody asks, that never happened, ok?" John replied.

"Good idea." James and Snotson said in unison.

Just then the lights went out. When they came back on, the Detectives were missing. The only thing left were two puddles of blood.


Credits

James Blond: figgy20000
John Dough: Neo Pikachu
Surelock Homes: Ierdar
Snotson: mLugia
Julia Bobberts: Dratini
Bustin Cedarlake: Matt & Vulpix
[TS] Betty: Shroomish
[TS] Krames: [Fair]
Hashton Chucher: theElimN8r
Sloane Of Arc: Dapkmnguy_3000
Todd Jobb: HKim
Jeff Probes: lil_leprachaun33
Thai Pennington: Matthew
Bob Dole: Bob Dole
Berry Zinger: Kooolcurtis
Spanish Commentators: Marth
Bodyless Voice: X
Suit Wearing Thug #1: Dark Pikachu
Suit Wearing Thug #2: Nick the Angelic
The Pirate: [Fair]
Ashley: Silverfrost
Medusa: Ashlee Simpson
The Incredible Bulk: Saitou
Gilligan: PE2K
Coast Guard: Channel Delibird
Random Dude: stripeduck
Ozzie Osborn: Flareon008


Preview

"Hey Sloane, didn't we pass that rock an hour ago?"
"I think we might've..."

JUST WHEN THEY THOUGHT THE ADVENTURE WAS OVER

"And that small island looks familiar, too! Do you know where we are?"
"Well, um, no... I don't..."

JUST WHEN THEY THOUGHT THEY WERE SAFE

"SLOANE! I THOUGHT YOU KNEW HOW TO GET US HOME!"
"I did, I did... But now I don't. I erm, forgot."
"I demand that you pull over to the next island we see to ask for directions!"

DISASTER STRUCK

"ICEBERG! STRAIGHT AHEAD!"
"Iceberg?! Where?"
"THERE!"

THE ONLY THING MORE DIFFICULT THAN ESCAPING THE ISLAND

"How the hell could you crash into an iceberg that big? YOU IDIOT!"

IS SURVIVING THE JOURNEY HOME

The Pellet Town Odyssey
It's all GREEK to them...
Coming Winter 2004
IM NOT IN IT :cry2:

[Fair]
08-09-2004, 05:09 AM
Thanks, Lep and Kim! :happy:

Velly, ask and you shall recieve! I've added you into the credits! :wink:

Would anybody else like a character? :silly: