View Full Version : Sleeping Ugly -- A Fairy Tale in the land of PE2K

~delfino feroce
08-01-2004, 05:09 AM
NOTE: Some of these are actual lines from a chatroom. The lines without quotes are the ones. Don’t worry, if you’re my friend, you will get a chance to star in the story.

Cast of Characters:

Taro = Prince Charming
Dratini = Princess
Velly = Evil Sorcerer
DMX = Evil Assistant Dark Master X
Khold = Pocket Mirror Kholdstaire
Shroomish = Queen Shroomie
Mana = King Mana
Fair = As Himself

Sleeping …Well, Ugly.

chapter I :: hOrMoNaL pSyChO dErAnGeD fReAkS

Once, there was a trainer named Taro.

Taro: “Yep, that’s me! …Now include some background, and shizzle. I’m kinda bored, need to write a fic.”

Taro lived in the fairy land of Pokemon Leet 2K. In this land, hOrMoNaL pSyChO dErAnGeD fReAkS lived.

Dratini: Two men kissing.... I'm officially turned on?
Taro: *looks at D* “HOLY CRAP! I found my princess!”
Dratini: o_O “What the…”
Taro: “Just shut up and play along.”

Yes, they were definitely hormonal psycho deranged freaks.

Taro: *pokes author in the ribs* “This is supposed to be a FAIRY tale.”

Taro, the magnificent and charming Indian prince, wore a pinstriped sexy shirt and a pair of blue jeans that made him look hawt. Anyway, Taro was looking here and there and everywhere for, actually a person that could suit best the part of the evil witch. Don’t worry, if you’re one of Taro’s friends, you’ll get a part. He promises.

Taro: “CRAP! Everyone in the damn chat is all liek ‘omfg omfg war war war NB NB NB omfg liek wut im gonna dai’ … *IMs Shroomie* “Do you want to be the witch in my story?” *waits* *bangs the computer screen* “ANSWER ME BEFORE I SET FIRE TO YOU…”

Taro tried to stall while uncooperative war leaders would not keep their FRICKING PROBLEMS in the FRICKING WAR CHAT.

Taro: *juggles… a Walrein…and an …elephant…* *falls over*

Taro needed to stop stalling and take matters in his own hands.

Taro: “Ugh, the chat just went dead again. Stupidity. Wait! Velly is going to be the evil sorcerer. We can get SF to do something else… later, or whatever.”

With the evil sorcerer picked, Velly stirred in his brew in a dungeon. He cackled in a high pitched voice.

Evil Sorcerer Velly: “Stirring stirring, stirring the brew. It’s green, it’s yellow, it smells like poo. I’m an evil sorcerer, who-dlay-who.”

The ES (evil sorcerer) was done stirring his brew, and proclaimed to the empty dungeons what it did. The empty flasks rattled. He pulled out a Pokeball, a convenient plot device to turn this into fanfiction so I can put it in Pokemon Fanfiction, which gets more traffic.

ES Velly: “This potion shall cause the Princess Dratini to be locked in a tower so I can marry her. EHEHEHEHE!! *cackles evilly*”

He turned to his evil assistant, EVIL ASSISTANT DARK MASTER X!!! MAHAHA!!

Evil Assistant DMX: “Mwhaha I am assisting.” *looks in the magic mirror* Uhh… Pocket mirror, pocket mirror, in my hand, who is the hottest in the …” *to ES Velly* “What rhymes with hand?”

ES Velly: “Uh… land, you redundant dumb imbecile!”

EA DMX: “Ah yes. Pocket mirror, pocket mirror, in my hand, who is the hottest in the … land?”

The Evil Assistant consulted his ghetto, yet usefully compact Pocket Mirror. Screw those Mirrors Mirrors on the Wall! Kholdstaire, DMX’s trusty and faithful compact mirror, talked to him.

Pocket Mirror Kholdstaire: taro, marry me

EA DMX splurted out the Witch’s Brew XXX he was drinking.

PM Khold: “Jesus, don’t SCREAM for god’s sake. Yeah. Cue hawt pic of Taro.”

Suddenly, Taro’s beautiful and bright pic flashed. DMX screamed and dropped Khold.

Taro: “Hey!”

DMX picked up his trusty Pocket Psychic Mirror off the floor. Kholdstaire proceeded to shout cusses at him until DMX sat his ass down on the stupid thing. After getting a whiff ful of Eau de DMXass for a whole five minutes, he began to stop.

Khold: “Uh… where are the rectal Tic Tacs? Your ass smells.”

DMX: “dot dot dot”


This land had a benevolent and kind King and Queen, King Mana and Queen Shroomie. They weren’t married, of course, and Princess Dratini wasn’t their biological child. …Or was she??? LMFAO. Anydangway, This royal family was just stuck together for whatever reason. The Queen was going steady with some dude named Fair, and who the hell knows what King Mana was doing. He was probably getting married to NetBattle, for all we know. And who knew which womb had borneth the childeth of Prinzezz Dratini. But, w/e. We don’t care. Anyway, the family was in a predicament. They needed a Princess. So, they found a random Mexican, only she wasn’t Mexican, she was white, girl from the Bronx, erm, NY, and she was PRINCESS SILVERFROST. Or princess ScreenFreeze, or whatever. Anyway she was SF to us all.

Princess SF: “…erm, hi.”

Anyway, Princess Dratini was sleeping in her quarters in her richass bed, which her parents, had gotten from Gucci, Louis Vuitton, and … Kmart, (Shroomie and Mana happened to love Martha Stewart and were promptly pissed when she was sent to jail). Suddenly, a cloaked figure that looked like DMX, (HOLY CRAP IT WAS DMX), grabbed Dratini, took her to the hideout of the evil Vellyvell, and kept her locked in the highest tower. But, Velly had to feed her the secret potion he’d been working on…

Dratini: *wince* “Aww, sick, this is NASTY.”

Velly: “Just drink it.”

Dratini: “Well, OKAY!!!” *chug*

The green goo slid down her throat like a mofo. Anyway, she drank it, and then she was placed in the highest tower, where she slept for like, ever. Tee hee.