PDA

View Full Version : A Seeled Fate?


TDD91
08-16-2004, 01:50 PM
Alex walked up to the small hut that was perched upon the Seafoam Islands. He had been shipwrecked with his two pokémon, Seviper and Aipom, and could not get off the islands. Surely the hut must be occupied, and if not, there would at least be some shelter. He knocked upon the door and entered. Inside there were about 6 other trainers and a man who stood upon a small platform.
“Ahhh, good day sir, you must be here for the Capture Contest! Please sit down!” said the man, he looked to be around 40, his grey hair was long, in a ponytail with a Horsea bobble holding it in place, his eyes were a steely blue yet they were kind and warm. His face showed very little sign of ageing and he was in a good condition. He wore a blue shirt with the top button undone, beige chinos and black leather shoes. Alex tried to explain that he was only here for aid but he was whisked into a chair too fast to answer. The man then continued:
“As I was saying folks, today is the first annual Seafoam Capture Contest! You have one hour to capture any water pokémon from this island or from the waters surrounding it and then you may return here for judging. You may only use two pokémon, and I shall take your bags. You only get one chance to capture a pokémon, here are the balls you will be using.” The seven trainers were handed a turquoise coloured ball with black stripes on it.
“This is a Net Ball, it is three times as likely to capture a water pokémon than any other ball. Please hand me all except two of your pokeballs,” Alex did not move from his seat as the others all handed in 4 of their pokéballs, “whats wrong lad? Why aren’t ya moving?”
“I’ve only got two pokémon, I don’t need to hand anything in.”
“Ahh, I see. You better hope you got some electric or grass mon, the mon here are pretty tough.” Fantastic, things had just got much better! He was stranded on an island with a crackpot, two pokémon of his own and hundreds of pokémon who’d finish them off in just seconds! “Well folks, you better set off now, the Siren will go off in exactly an hour.”

Alex stepped outside and looked around for anywhere that there might be pokémon, there were some rocks, but they’d only have Krabby’s there, not much use really. He didn’t have anything to fish with either, and he couldn’t swim, so the sea wasn’t an option. The only other place to go, was the dark cavern to his right. He put the net ball on his belt, took a deep breath and ran for the mouth of the Cave.

TDD91
08-16-2004, 05:24 PM
As Alex entered the mouth of the caves, the darkness engulfed him. There was a torch (not electrical, flame one) on the wall but it was not lit. He went down on all fours and rummaged around, searching for a piece of flint to light it with. He felt something smooth and fairly flat, that must be a piece of flint! He picked it up and heard a squeal, some pokémon must have been in danger, he dropped the flint and started to walk deeper in. Except he couldn’t move and there was an excruciating pain in his leg. He hadn’t picked up a piece of flint at all. He’d just picked up a Seel. The Seel’s jaws were tightly clamped around his calf and the pain was unbearable, he felt around for a wall, and started slamming the Seel against it to try and release its grasp. After 3 slams, the Seel finally released its grip and Alex bent down to examine his injury.
“Tell ya what Seel, how about a lil’ battle? Go Bubbles!” A small, fluffy female Aipom appeared and stared down her larger marine opponent.
“Right! Let’s start this with Tickle!” Bubbles ran towards the Seel and started tickling it with all 3 hands, but it had no effect because of Seel’s thick skin. Seel didn’t take too kindly to being tickled and replied with a fierce headbutt attack.
“Hmm, it’s pretty strong. Try a screech attack!” Bubbles opened her mouth wide and screamed loudly, however the screech rebounded off the walls, deafening Alex and Aipom leaving her at Seel’s mercy. Seel’s horn began glowing and it used an almighty Aurora Beam on Aipom, freezing her solid in a case of ice. However Alex did not recall her, he just left her there in the ice.
“Arrgh! Cobra! See how you can do!” Alex summoned Cobra, a slightly above average sized Seviper, a Seviper with an attitude at that! He glared at Seel and hissed. Seel leant back onto its hind flippers and started clapping. The air was tense, this was going to be a close match.
“Okay Cobra, lets start with a Wrap attack!” Seviper leapt at the Seel, which simply rolled out of the way. Seviper rotated potato-wise 180 degrees and pushed against the wall in a catapult-tackle attack. He slammed straight into the horn of Seel and cried out in pain as it dug into his flesh. Seel’s horn began to glow again, the same glow that had frozen Aipom, and it released an almighty Aurora beam at point blank range. The rainbow coloured blast illuminated to whole cave for a brief second, then darkness was cast again. Both pokémon were down and seemingly out. It seemed it was going to be a draw. Then, Cobra twitched, and it twitched again. Cobra slowly began to get up, occasionally collapsing again. Alex knew this was the perfect time to capitalise.
“Cobra! Lets finish this with Poison Tail!” Cobra lifted his tail off the floor slightly and dropped it onto Seel’s neck. Not a very damaging attack, but possibly just enough. Alex reached to his belt, pulled off the net ball and threw it at Seel. Seel was enveloped in the red light and disappeared into the ball. It shook once, twice, a third time…

Tamer San
08-16-2004, 05:45 PM
Story: (Reality, Length, Plot, Details) Nothing interesting and nothing special. Find and battle story and a short one as well. Describe more stuff around you, let us feel the story rather than only reading it. Anyway, you need a longer story for your Seel since it isn't as RARE as Pidgey. :rolleyes:
18/40

Grammer, Spelling and Structure: Minor mistakes here and there, nothing dangerous though. Make sure to check it on MS. Word or swomthing before posting it. And dont forget to capetalize the word Pokemon and such.
22/30

Battle: (Length, Reality, Details) VERY VERY shot battle for a Seel. -_-
9/30

OUTCOME: 49/100 which is very very VERY bad. As I said, work on my advice and lengthen your story a bit and it shall do better and maybe even capture a Pokemon. Good luck and Seel not Captured...Good luck next time my friend ^^

~Tamer