New fic being made...But is it a good idea?

[DarkAmethyst]

I've been working on a fic called "Deadly Alliance", where Ash, normally the big hero in Pokemon joins Team Rocket and gets brainwashed. He's then sent back to Hoenn on a mission and is ordered to kill someone; a friend he held close to his heart not too long before.

...Yeah, it's a teensy bit of horror...

So, I was wanting to know if this fic is worth finishing or not. If needed, I can post the prologue and/or the first chapter so you all may determine that way. If this thread is useless or not needed, please lock it...

[Scourge of Amaranth]

Ahem... I'm generally against brainwashing of any kind or form. It's not a very good plot device, just as a general rule.

[Shiny Loser]

I think it's a good and original idea. I've always wanted to see what Ash would be like if he were part of TR. Post the prologue?

[pixlepix]

good idia.i love it

[DarkAmethyst]

I think it's a good and original idea. I've always wanted to see what Ash would be like if he were part of TR. Post the prologue?
Sure, I guess. But it doesn't really tell you much, besides what happens before he gets "brainwashed" if you want to call it that.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Join them or die. Those were my choices. Those were the only choices I was ever given.

Everyone; friends, family even strangers, all were gathered to see what my decision would be. It wasn't exactly a no-brainer, but it wasn't the hardest question there was, either.

"What's your choice, Ketchum?" he boomed, stepping up so that his large, somewhat muscular figure overshadowed me. I merely glared at him. I wanted to fight back so much, but I couldn't. I had already tried - and failed. By now, I could hardly keep my head up to look at him. Every muscle in my body was aching; I just wanted to collapse and tell them to wake me up when it was all over. But, I couldn't. Despite this, though, I felt my legs give way underneath me and fell to my knees.

He snapped his fingers, and immidietly two Rocket men were on either side of me. Each grabbed one of my arms and jerked me back to my feet, whereas he enclosed his fingers around my neck, holding me up that way. My arms fell limply to my sides as they were released. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted those three. The three who had caused me so much trouble over the years, the three who had always managed to get on my nerves at least twice a day, the three who had turned me in.

Jessie, James and Meowth, who were thought to be the lowest of the low, the worst Rocket agents out there had captured me. It was like it had all been so easily planned out...

The fingers tightened their grip, complicating my breathing.

"I said, what's your choice?"

When I didn't answer I felt the grip loosen before I was shoved back to the ground. A small groan escaped my lips as I came in contact with the cold, hard concrete.

"Well, what about her, then? Will you do it for her?" I looked up to see that he had seized a girl from the crowd. But, not just any girl. This girl was one I really cared about, one I had grown fairly fond of and close to. This girl was none other than May, the Hoenn beauty who had appeared in my life and changed me forever.

"Ash." I was snapped away from my thoughts as I heard what seemed to be her voice whispering my name hoarsely. As I looked up, my eyes locked on hers. She was completely terrified, yet somewhat determined. "Don't give in to him, Ash. No matter what he does or says, don't do it."

He had wrapped his arm around her neck by now, and was holding her so tightly I knew she probably wouldn't last any longer than one more minute.

"Silence," he hissed into her ear. "Make your choice, Ketchum. Now!"

I swallowed dryly. After all those years of defeating him, foiling every plan he had ever come up with, it was brought down to this. For once my choices had changed. 'Join them or watch my friends die.' Either way, it was a losing battle.

"Ash..." I looked back up to May's pleading eyes, now clouded with pain.

"Let her go," I said softly, attempting to fight my way to my feet. Around me, a handful of Rocket grunts each whipped out a Pokeball.

He stared at me with cold, unforgiving eyes. "Should I take that as a no?"

A sharp pain seemed to tear through my heart as his grip grew even tighter on May's neck. This pain then grew worse as I saw a Rocket grunt emerge from the shadows with Pikachu. Bruises covered its tiny yellow body, and a large gash could be seen above its right eye. Its fur was matted and stained with blood from the numerous cuts on its body.

"Pikachu..." I whispered; my stomach tied itself in a knot at the sight, and for a short moment, I felt as though I was going to be sick.

"Last five seconds, boy," he growled, leaning down, closer to my face. "What's your choice?"

"Let them go." I spoke more firmly than before. He raised an eyebrow. With a regretful sigh, I added, "I'll join you."

A grunt escaped May's lips as she hit the ground, having been released. A satisfied smile spread across his face, and he snapped his fingers again. Two more Rockets appeared at my sides and yanked me to my feet.

"I'm glad you see it my way now," he grinned, turning toward a bunch of Rockets behind him. "Prepare the 'copter." They nodded, and at once were off.

"Ash, you can't just surrender to him!" I turned to look at May, who was struggling to her feet. She started to say something else, but I held up a hand, silencing her.

"I already have," I told her quietly. I could hardly stand the look on her face. But what was it truly of? Anger? Hatred? Sorrow? Betrayal? Or all four? I started to say something else, but a sharp pain was felt in my neck, stopping me. I could feel my conciousness slipping away. I did, however, manage two last words before passing out:

"I'm...sorry..."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
See, it's not my best, but meh...

[Orange_Flaaffy]

This idea has been done to death :P, most of all if the person is Misty, May etc

[DarkAmethyst]

Yeah, I know :oops: But, the original story, once it gets started I haven't seen anywhere else, unless there's just somewhere I haven't read fics at. ^^

[Orange_Flaaffy]

Fanfiction.net is full of them I think :P

[DarkAmethyst]

I read there a lot, but I don't think I could get to all of 'em. ^^ And, that's actually where I've got it up at, I think...

Oh well an idea's an idea, I guess...

[Orange_Flaaffy]

I read there a lot, but I don't think I could get to all of 'em. ^^ And, that's actually where I've got it up at, I think...

Oh well an idea's an idea, I guess...
Some of them, or at least one, is nearly as old as the fandom itself O.o

[Shiny Loser]

Not bad, i mean the prologue. I'm not sure if it's overdone, but if it isn't, pretty good. who's the "he" though?

[Deathspector]

I think Ace Sanchez attempted this as well (just to add to the growing list of those who have done so).

However, I do think Angel, you could do it. I mean, just because Train stories are used plenty of times doesn't mean that people still don't write them. Heck, I'm writing one right now (although I haven't posted it yet). Also, I know you're a pretty good author, so I can see this doing reasonably well, and probably better. I say go for it.

Deathspector

EDIT: I have an odd feeling that "he" is Giovanni. Wonder how I worked that one out...

[Shiny Loser]

EDIT: I have an odd feeling that "he" is Giovanni. Wonder how I worked that one out...


What, dude, he could be Butch, my protagonist in my new fic ^^

Anyway, yea. Angel's a good writer and he should prolly keep workin on this one..

[DarkAmethyst]

What, dude, he could be Butch, my protagonist in my new fic ^^

Anyway, yea. Angel's a good writer and he should prolly keep workin on this one..
Uh, I'm a girl....:oops: And, yes, Deathspector, "he" is Giovanni.

[Hanako Tabris]

I was keeping my eye on this thread, waiting for some free time to read your prologue and come up with a good post in response.

Just because an idea is done "to death", doesn't mean that you shouldn't write it if you want. As Deathspector said, trainer stories are everywhere in this fandom, but people still write them. Why? Because no one writes as you do. No one sees something as you do. So just because you write it, it'll be different from the others out there.

The prologue was good. I'm hoping that you will explain how Jessie, James, and Meowth caught Ash! ^^ That'll be interesting. Good luck with this!

[Orange_Flaaffy]

Any idea can be written well with the right author. I'm just saying that unlike a trainer fic, which has many ways you can write it and make the plot one of a kind, this sort of plot has a high chance of falling into the trap of being ether over dramatic for the sake of appearing 'deep' and 'dark' in theme, or using overused plot twists and writing Ash out of character (Which is what I never liked about Pokemon master).

Even with brainwashing, Ash would still be himself on a deeper level and have all the basic trademarks of who he was, he would not just be a whole new dark bloodthirsty character who happened to have/have had a Pikachu etc ;).

One of my pet pevees with this plot is that the first chapter always has him being turned 'to the dark side', there is an unspoken break of a month or a few years between that and the next chapter, and suddenly Ash is ever a mindless member of the team who never questions his orders and likes killing with a passion (And who is only still Ash as a character in a sense that he looks like him and has his memories) , or he is a unseen vitcim who never speaks up and does nothing but roll in bitterness for five or more chapters :P.

It can be written well, but it is actually a very hard plot to write without turning the whole thing into a soap opera that only does things for shock value...