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View Full Version : Story idea: Crime and Punishment


Eiyoko
04-29-2007, 09:12 PM
Just an idea I had. It's probably not a GOOD idea, but I feel the need to get it out somewhere. I'm kinda new to this fandom...(*is nervous*) Here goes.

I haven't decided on a name for the main character, so I'm just going to call him John for now. (I'd like a name out of the norm, but still something a normal kid would have for a name.)

I haven't even decided on a good name for the story, either. ^^;

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John never really liked Luxray that much. In fact, he hated them with a passion, and claimed he had the right to. One day, he heads out for the nearby woods in hopes of finding some peace after an argument with his father. He sees a nearby Shinx whom is apparently lost. Seeing his chance to extract revenge, he prepares to do his dark deed. That's when he is attacked by a supposedly wild SHINY Luxray and flees home after a long, futile battle that almost kills him. He had his chance to slay the enemy and he failed; it was too fast, too strong. He does not come out unscathed: he was bitten by the Luxray at one point, and feels incredibly drowsy. He goes right to bed.

The next morning, John wakes up to a startling realization: he has been transformed into a shinx as punishment for attempting to harm an innocent pokemon. The only way the punishment will end? It's of no matter.

John races about the house frantically trying to find his father, but he is nowhere to be found. In fact, his father's normally orderly room is a mess. Moreover, the window is shattered.

It's evident that someone has kidnapped his father, a slightly-well-known scientist. John's journey to save his father begins...but can he survive long enough to learn of his own miscomings and break the curse?

Hanako Tabris
04-30-2007, 04:00 AM
It sounds like the story line of the Disney movie Brother Bear. Don't worry. It's one of my favorite movies, so I'm interested in this idea. These are like my favorite stories.

Now as for the actual story... Develop John into having a good reason to hate Luxray. Something that would make him hate them enough that he would want to kill them and their evolution forms. This will establish some history for John and make him more believable.

Like I said, I like stories like that, showing both sides of the story. So I'm interested in reading more about this. Good luck with it!

Bay
04-30-2007, 04:43 AM
Even though I never watched Brother Bear, from what Hanako said, I guess you are inspired by that movie. XD Well...if you still insists on having the storyline based on that story, try to make it your own. I think you will be able to. ^^ Meh, my first fanficiton I was inspired from one of my favorite novels. I too sort of have the storyline based on that but also I put my own twists in it. XD

Anyways, like Hanako said, develop John's reason as to why he hates Luxray. That should be very, very interesting since Luxrays are one of my favorite D/P Pokemon. XD

Well, good luck on that story!

Eiyoko
05-01-2007, 06:44 PM
Actually, I've never seen the movie Brother Bear. I was more inspired by The Emperor's New Groove, to be honest... but I was also inspired by something I read not long ago. Glad to hear some people like the idea - I've already begun working on the story alittle. ^^;

As for why he hates the Luxray, I won't say it here. Anyone whom has ideas/wants to hear MY ideas, lemme know through PM ^^

By the way...is John a good name? It sounds a bit awkward to me.

Orange_Flaaffy
05-02-2007, 06:21 PM
John is one of oldest most everyday names you can use, next to Jane.
Actually, I don't think this idea is like Brother Bear at all. There are many many stories where people get turned into animals, myths being the first of these type of stories. The idea itself is okay but it's all in how you write it...

Eiyoko
05-02-2007, 07:22 PM
To be honest, I'm quite new to the pokemon fandom, so I may need some research. I'll have to look up some of those stories...maybe get myself a beta reader while I'm at it.

Edit: Chapter one is pretty much laid out. Anyone up for beta-ing it or should I post it here?

Shiny Loser
05-03-2007, 01:42 PM
Let's seee... a guy's name. Normal name. Howbout Stan?

Eiyoko
05-03-2007, 07:05 PM
Stan sounds a tad silly if you ask me. ^^; My friend is writing a superhero comic and the hero is named Stan. The hero also is really, really goofy and...alright, alright, back on topic.

Tom/Thomas? Tim/Timothy? Steve/Steven(ew?)?

I also need a good beta reader for the first chapter. If anyone's up for it contact me via PM, AIM or MSN... unless it's okay to just post it here.

Edit: I think I've pretty much decided on a name. Chapter one will be up soon!