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Blue-
05-13-2007, 08:30 PM
This isn't a fan-fic, it's actually a creative writing story that belongs in the mixed boards. But, I want to know if it will be popular, and if anyone is going to read it. This is just a brief preview, not even the whole prologue, if you're wondering why it's so short. *God I'm nervous! >_<;* It's about wolves... Oh god I'm going to regret posting this... Anyway, just read it.



Prologue
Birth of a Prodigy


Spirits.

The very mention of the word sent shivers down spines, made young pups squeal in fear, and worst of all, many were killed, or claimed to be hurt, when they heard that dreadful word. I never understood why. Why would anyone be afraid of a word? Words can’t hurt, can they? Spirits couldn’t be that bad, could they?

Whenever I asked these questions, the first reply would be a yes. Yes, people can. Yes, words can hurt. Yes, spirits are very bad things, Pinta, very bad things. When I was younger, I couldn’t retort. All I could do was believe in my beliefs, and that was that.

As I got older, I got wiser. Realization struck, and I knew why I believed spirits to be good. It all came down to one thing; my elder sister was a spirit herself. At first, I couldn’t believe it. My sister, beloved White Rose, a spirit? But once I found out, it became all too obvious. My own sister was one of them.

* * *

“That’s the second pup?” a lithe black wolf asked in disbelief. “It’s a lot more… normal… than the first…”

“Stop being rude Crockett!” snapped a gray female. “Ariett has enough on her mind than mutant pups!” Crockett sheepishly grinned, then winced. It was sunset, and the three wolves were stuck in a dank, dark cave while Ariett’s mate was out hunting. Her mate had left three days prior. There was barely any food left, and Ariett was in labor. The first pup that came out was a mutant; it had glossy white fur that appeared lavender, and it was croaking like a dying toad. The second was hardly breathing.

“Let it go Glenna,” Ariett sighed, than started to lick her dark umber chest fur in worry. “ I just hope he gets back soon. Oh…” She let out a low bellow as pain struck. Glenna, who had bowed her head in shame, rushed over and gave the moaning mother a comforting lick. Crockett picked up the white pup by the ruff, and laid her paw over the stomach of the other. It wouldn’t last long.

“Don’t… mind me Glenna… Just make sure my pups… survive the night…!” Ariett let out a yowl of pain, than started breathing in quick, short gasps. Glenna exasperatedly licked the wolf’s face, trying to calm her down. Crockett propped the mutant pup on the hard rock earth, then padded to the entrance of the cave. She searched for a moment, until she found a small puddle. Yipping with excitement, Crockett nosed the two pups to the puddle, making them both drink its water.

“That’s all well and good, but what will they eat? Young pups need milk, and Ariett is about to have a third!” Glenna growled. Crockett winced, just as Ariett gave her final push…

* * *


And that's that. >_< Please review it... This is my first attempt at writing so, don't blame me if it's horrible...

Hoshika
05-13-2007, 09:17 PM
Yes, spirits are very bad things, Pinta, very bad things.

It makes them sound like weird happy-monsters talking to Pinta like a little child. O_o

I'm not sure if I can judge a wolf giving birth... ^^;

Nice, though. It was good you weren't too descriptive in this little preview. No offense. XP

Blue-
05-13-2007, 09:22 PM
It makes them sound like weird happy-monsters talking to Pinta like a little child. O_o

I'm not sure if I can judge a wolf giving birth... ^^;

Nice, though. It was good you weren't too descriptive in this little preview. No offense. XP
Like I said before, it's only my first attempt. And description has never been my strong point. xD

Yesh, because Pinta was a child when they were telling her that. Hahah, spoiled my own story. Yesh, Pinta is a girl.

Edit: I am going to constantly edit this until I find it suits my liking. It's just a very rough preview. It also may seem a bit childish from word choice. I still have to work on this... a lot.

Shiny Loser
05-14-2007, 08:48 AM
Hmm, it's pretty good, considering your age and that it is your first attempt...

Reminds me of my weakness, which is description. I'm sure this is a good story, but yes, it needs more description. But then again, something makes me think I don't want too much description of a wolf giving birth..

Blue-
05-21-2007, 12:15 AM
Would it be too painful to get a few more comments on this? If you will. :)


I am currently in the process of fixing the story up, (it's a lot better now, in my opinion... But apparently my opinion on things isn't that great... XD) so hopefully people will read it. I'll probably post it up in a couple of days.

Hoshika
05-21-2007, 12:25 AM
Would it be too painful to get a few more comments on this? If you will. :)


I am currently in the process of fixing the story up, (it's a lot better now, in my opinion... But apparently my opinion on things isn't that great... XD) so hopefully people will read it. I'll probably post it up in a couple of days.

Me sorry. IT ALL MY FAULT. ME AM SORRY!!11!!!!1111!! ;________;

Maybe you can send it to a publishing company...? O_o

Blue-
05-21-2007, 03:07 AM
Me sorry. IT ALL MY FAULT. ME AM SORRY!!11!!!!1111!! ;________;

Maybe you can send it to a publishing company...? O_o
No, it's not your fault, honestly! It just needs some work, that's all. ^^ In fact, you helped me. I realized the problem before other people could label me Noobz0rz. You helped me. Nothing to worry about. :D

Draconic_Espeon
05-25-2007, 04:28 PM
Well, it's not that bad. Writing about something giving birth would be awkward, I'm not entirely sure I could... Anyway, I would like to see more, if only to know what was going on. ^^