View Full Version : Sleepy

Tamer Marco
10-02-2004, 06:15 PM
Chapter One: The new pokemon, from the mountains

It was a peaceful place, in the middle of Celadon City. Children played, and battled with thier pokemon happily. Adults played at the local game corner, spending thier wives grocery money on extra coins. And me you ask? I was battling a 2-ton giant. But i'm getting ahead of myself. Lets start at the very beggining...

"Hey, kid catch!" I turned to a ball headed straight for me, like a speed demon.
"Not again!" I thought, as the ball landed SMACK! right into my face. My fragile glasses broke under the intense pressure of the ball colliding with my face. The glass of my glasses broke into little pieces, while the handles were totally shattered.
"Great..." I mumbled.
"This loser comes along, and this is the third time this year he's broken my glasses... and it's March 1st for crying out loud!"
I was angry. But also, I was angry at myself. My mother told me to only wear my glasses when I needed them, like when I needed to cross the street, or go run a errand for her, or my father.
"Hey Justin, i'm sorry!" my friend said. His name was Jake. My other friends called him and I J & J. But other than that our names both had the same first letters, we were nothing alike. I had wavy blonde hair, and blue eyes which seemed red thanks to my now broken glasses. I was pretty much pale, and wasn't very athletic. Jake was very tall, (I wasn't at all) and had a darker complection. He had black hair, and green eyes. The ladies loved him, especially when he put on his macho, or his cool act. The other kids couldn't stand his guts for some reason. They were most likely jealous. " I'm sorry for breaking your glasses man..." Jake said, very sincerely. I looked at him as hard as I could. He was telling the truth.
"C'mon, lets go grab some money of those Cueballs, and thier grunt bikers on Cycling Road." I sneered.
"Umm, i'd rather not..." Jake said. "I kinda wanted to buy some pokemon at the Game Corner cash in..." He had sounded so nieve. Under that macho act, I could tell he was a nice guy.
"We're flat broke remember." I said. And those bikers have to give us money if we win."
"But, we have like 5,500 coins remember?" That was obviously Jake.
"But we need more money, to get more coins!" I said. "Don't you want that Porygon?!" I urged him. "... Okay, i'm in." Jake said happily.
"Then lets go!" I said. In the field we were in, our bikes were by a neighbours fence. I should of got my glasses fixed before I went on Cycling Road, but the urge to get more money, along with pokemon was a little bit to great. We raced around to the enterance to Cycling Road.
"Last one there's a rotten egg!" I teased.
After a short trip to the west side of Celadon, to Cycling Road, we gasped. A gigantic, and huge fat thing was blocking our way!

EDIT: I messed up on making this chapter look like the second one. When I finish, i'll try again...

Tamer San
10-03-2004, 10:50 AM
NOTE: Well, putting such a gap between paragraphs won't shape this story up. Would you please organize it better please. And thanks-nyan :wink:

10-04-2004, 12:56 AM
Tamer, for the love of god, those aren't his paragraphs being seperated that much. It was just the title of the story, the Introduction, and the actual beggining, three diff parts of the story, that's why. ._.

Tamer San
10-04-2004, 07:23 AM
JT: Well, still...no need for SUCH a spacing...

10-18-2004, 01:50 PM
Tamer, for the love of god, those aren't his paragraphs being seperated that much. It was just the title of the story, the Introduction, and the actual beggining, three diff parts of the story, that's why. ._.
Actually, the last two paragraphs that he has there are about the same thing(It's just a flashback story), so there should be just 1 row spacing. And FYI, putting lines are much neater than putting countless rows, so, yeah.

On a side note, your first paragraph is too long. Break them into smaller paragraphs or the graders will put you down for bad grammar.

Tamer Marco
11-08-2004, 07:01 PM
I'll edit that when i'm finished. I finally got a chapter in my mind.

New Chapter: Snorlax attack!

"Touch it." Jake said.
"Why don't you touch it?" I shot back.
We were both twelve, but out immaturity was obvious.
"Fine, i'll touch it," Jake remarked. "Baby."
I was very angry for him calling me a baby, but I didn't say anything. I just watched him pick up a small and dainty stick, and poked the creature on it's side.
"See, nothing went wrong, baby." Jake boasted proudly.
Without warning, the creature moved it's hand, and rubbed it's side, nearly crushing Jake, only about four feet away.
"You almost got killed, moron." I sneered.
Jake looked at me emotionless. When he did that, he was thinking hard about something. After a few minutes or so, he began to talk again.
"You have a Machop, right?" Jake asked me sincerely.
"Yep." "What's the big deal about it?" I said confused.
"Well, since Machop is a fighting pokemon, and i'm sure that yours knows Cross Chop by now, since you delayed it's evolution, I was thinking that your Machop could heave this thing out of the way. Or at least make it move somewhere. It's full-proof!" he said with delight.
"I think that would work." I said pleased at his idea.
I grabbed a ball, which was red on the top, and white on the bottom. Obviously, it was a Pokeball. I pressed a white button, which enlargened the ball, and I threw it near my feet. The ball ran back into my fingertips, and a dazzling white show of fireworks appeared. The blinding white light was slowly concentrated into a shape like a child. The white light slowly turned a bright red. Finally, the red light disappeared leaving a grayish-child.
"Mahchop!" it cried.
"Machop, use Cross Chop on the Snorlax!" I yelled, with excitement.
"Chop!" Machop said as he ran past Jake, and straight for fat creature. Machop put his left hand onto his gray right shoulder, and his right hand onto his left shoulder. Machop slowly walked closer to Snorlax, until he couldn't walk anymore or else he would be enveloped by Snorlax's fat. Machop then quickly Cross Choped Snorlax.
"SNORE!" it said in a rage.
"You made it mad!" Jake yelled at me.
"It was your idea!" I screeched.
The creature slowly arose to his feet, in a grumpy mood. He had to eat over 800 pounds of food, and these two boys, and thier little Machop were about to be the first 200. Snorlax swiped at Machop, inches away from his face.
"Cross Chop again!" I yelled to Machop.
Machop repeated the same steps it did earlier to wake Snorlax. Placing each hand onto the opposite shoulder, Machop struck again.
"Lax..." Snorlax muttered, as he fell down, snoring like a forty-year-old-man.
"What?!" Jake muttered very surprised.
"Rest attack." I told him.
"SNORE!" Snorlax said, releasing some kind of energy. I could tell if it was physical or not, because when he used the attack, I was halfway home.
"What was that?" Jake asked.
"Snore attack maybe? Hyper Beam?" I wondered.
We turned back to see what it was. Trees fell at Snorlax's feet. The path to Cycling Road was totally incenerated.
"Hyper Beam." Jake and I both said at once.
Without any more warning that the first time, Snorlax got up, looking very angry. Forgetting about food, he stomped his way to Celadon City, the very city we were in. Machop, Jake, and I watched in horror, as the collosal giant steadily walked twoards the city, not looking like he just wanted to play the Game Corner slots.
"NO!" I yellled.

Tamer Marco
11-08-2004, 07:33 PM
New Chapter!: Evolution Solution!

"We've got to warn the people! I yelled.
"There isn't any time!" Jake said. "We have to fight, NOW!"
Snorlax slowly walked twoards the city, panting from the long walk. Hundreds of people in the streets finally saw it.
"AAAIIIE!" A girl screamed.
That one scream was all that it took to make everything into total chaos. Men screaming like little girls, little boys tripping on the concrete. That was what you called chaos. It seemed as if there was no hope, for the poor city of Celadon.
"SNORRRRRE!" Snorelax yelled. You could hear it all throught Kanto.
Many people were already in thier houses, and locking the doors. It was pretty much futile to lock the door, since Snorlax could rip open the door. But in another direction came something big as well. As soon as Snorlax yelled, it happened, but it was taking a long time for who, or what was getting here.
"Whatever's coming, it's on all fours, I tell you that now." I told Jake.
"It's another Snorlax!" Jake screamed.
This one was slimmer. It looked as if it had a Hasty nature based on how fast it could run.
"One Snorlax is bad enough." Jake cried. "But two is-"
I cut him off. "An army..."
The slimmer Snorlax hammered it's fist into the ground, causing concrete to rush through the city. When the slimmer Snorlax was done, it looked as if a massive jackhammer plowed it's way through a quarter of the city! The Snorlax we all knowed and loathed had it's mouth wide open. A yellow ball was inside. The bigger Snorlax released a ball of energy, colliding with the air. It almost destroyed the Celadon department store.
"Machop!" Machop yelled.
I had forgotten all about him. He would be a big asset to us, even though he could only use Cross Chop three more times.
"Cross Chop, with all your power!" I yelled. I didn't tell Machop which Snorlax to attack. Either one was good. Machop ran twoards the larger Snorlax, and Cross Choped it on the head, by jumping on a few trees. The Snorlax fell to his knees in pain. Machop, fell to the ground on his two feet. And began to glow.
"Whoa..." I said.
"Cool..." Jake muttered.
Machop began to grow. Even though he was incased in a shell of light, you could see that his abs were growing. Out of the many townspeople that saw, all were amazed. The glowing stopped, and revealed a Machoke!
"MACHO!" Machoke yelled excited with his new form, and ready for battle.