New ideas for my first Fan Fic! Please comment!

[Mitsuzo-kun]

Hey there!

I'm planning to write my first Fan Fic, and wanted some constructive critisism on my plot!

It's something along the lines of Team Galactic trying to capture a young boy.

He's the key to unlocking Palkia and Dialgia... :eek:

In some way...

The story will be about his struggle to evade and escape them and discovering the truth about the link between him and the two Pokémon!

Well, what do you think?

And I don't mind harsh critisism!

Djax94

EDIT: Could you tell me if you'd read it!

[Mitsuzo-kun]

*Bump*

[Shiny Loser]

Mm. Not bad. If you're going with this, you have to come up with a real good reason for the kid and his link to Dia and Palk.

[Mitsuzo-kun]

YAY!

Thanks for replying... (Finally!)

I thought he could have split personalities and that could relate to Dialga and Palkia, seeing how different those two are!

Or something like that... If you have anything better (which you probably will) please help me out!

Djax94

[Shiny Loser]

YAY!

Thanks for replying... (Finally!)

I thought he could have split personalities and that could relate to Dialga and Palkia, seeing how different those two are!

Or something like that... If you have anything better (which you probably will) please help me out!

Djax94
That doesnt seem strong enough.

I don't have a more logical one though, maybe you should think about it more.

And by the way, don't be a kissa**.

[Mitsuzo-kun]

Okay, thanks anyway!

What do you mean, don't be a kissa**?

I was just being friendly!

"Treat others how you wish to be treated!" I was taught by my Mum!

Djax94

[Shiny Loser]

Okay, thanks anyway!

What do you mean, don't be a kissa**?

I was just being friendly!

"Treat others how you wish to be treated!" I was taught by my Mum!

Djax94
LOL, I was kidding. I'm always cracking things.

Not literally.

[Mitsuzo-kun]

That's okay...

I'm a very sensitive person... Lol

Do you think I should begin to draft it out now...?

I'd add more to it... a lot more to it, obviously!

I think of stuff as I write, you see...

Let me know what you think!

Djax94

[Psychic]

-_- Don't post just to bump a thread. Especially if it's a double post. :/

Anyhow, looks like you're pretty much setting this up to be a Gary-Stu fic. So far all you know is that there is an important boy. Why is he important? Because he can "unlock" two 00ber Pokémon and an evil Team wants to get him. If you don't even know why he unlocks Diagla and Palkia, what you mean by "unlock," how he unlocks them or why they need to be unlocked in the first place, I'd say you should scrap the whole idea. After all, humans who have randomly been chosen to be speshul are often Mary-Sues waiting to happen, unless the author really knows what they're doing. And judging from the vagueness of your first post, I'd say you're just guessing as you go along.


So no, I would not read it and I highly suggest trying something else until you can get your writing feet properly on the ground.

~Psychic

[Mitsuzo-kun]

Alright... I can understand your point there... :oops:

But I have seen it done before... I didn't realise it was so bad!

Yes I do know why he's important and how he unlocks them... :susp:

And he wasn't just chosen at random to be a special human... His personality links to it and his family background does too!

You spelt special wrong... :eh:

I'm hardly floating in the air now, am I?

I don't mean to be rude... But I feel your post is slightly unjust... :susp:

Have you written any Fan Fictions?

If you have, I would love to read them! *Sarcasm*

Perhaps I can rate them like you did mine!

Djax94

[Psychic]

Yes I do know why he's important and how he unlocks them... :susp:

And he wasn't just chosen at random to be a special human... His personality links to it and his family background does too!
Well, you never said that in your first post, so I assumed otherwise. You could have been slightly more specific if you knew how instead of saying "In some way..." which gave the impression of you not knowing.



You spelt special wrong... :eh:
Yes, that was the point. It was to mock the fact that 'Chosen One' characters are always so much better than everyone else. It's like making fun of people who think they're superior by calling them 1337 and so on and saying 'teh interw3bz iz srius buzness' when people overract. -_-



I don't mean to be rude... But I feel your post is slightly unjust... :susp:

Have you written any Fan Fictions?
*rests chin on palm, points to sig and grins smugly*
I'm not a n00b who doesn't know what she's talking about. I've been a fic reader and writer for almost two years now and Mod at SPPf. Trust me, I'm not as big of an idiot as you think. But I'm five times crazier and almost eight times sexier. 8D

And going by your logic of "the more fics you have, the better you are" since this is your first fic you hardly have the right to talk back to me like this. After all, I had a chaptered fic a while back and have released five One-Shots over the years (one placing third in a writing contest) and I've reviewed more fics than you can shake a stick at.

But I'm always willing to forgive and forget. ^.~



If you have, I would love to read them! *Sarcasm*

Perhaps I can rate them like you did mine!

Djax94
Please, go ahead. I am always more than willing to listen to any criticism anyone has to offer. If you can offer me one way to improve my writing, so long as it's not idiotic I swear to Mew I'll listen to whatever you have to say.




But anyways, sorry you took my review the wrong way. I was only speaking honestly, and since you said you didn't mind "harsh critisism" (which it spelt "criticism," Sir Why-don't-you-know-how-to-spell-"special"-you-meanie?) I figured that I didn't have to beat around the bush and try to cover my words with candy and rainbows.

Sorry; maybe next time I'll sugarcoat every word so I won't hurt your feelings or anything.

~Psychic

[Shiny Loser]

God. Psychic, be nicer. I know that you at SPPF have higher standards of fanfictions, but just say it, erm, nicer.

Let him try it, and if it's actually bad you can bash him over there at his fic thread. At least that'll be a post that bumps his thread up.

EDIT: I just realized you were a Mod at SPPF. Ok, never mind then, I understand you now.

[Psychic]

God. Psychic, be nicer. I know that you at SPPF have higher standards of fanfictions, but just say it, erm, nicer.
Well, what do you think?

And I don't mind harsh critisism!
He wanted the truth so I gave him the truth. And jeez, if a person can't take someone being harsh to them over the internet then how will they ever come to live in the real world? I don't see the use in sugarcoating the truth.


Let him try it, and if it's actually bad you can bash him over there at his fic thread. At least that'll be a post that bumps his thread up.
Oh, I don't intend to stop him from writing it, but my suggestion would have been tweakage. And he asked for opinions here and now, not for later, so I gave my opinion here and now.

Also, as I said before I really don't want to read the fic itself. Not to mention the fact that I probably won't be ablt to do so anyway because I'm leaving for camp in less than a week.



*shrugs* Honestly, when people say things like "I don't mind harsh critisism!" I usually figure they're saying it because they don't mind harsh criticism.

~Psychic

[Rawr]

Not a bad idea! I think you should have another main character. A girl. One for each legend?

[Shiny Loser]

Not a bad idea! I think you should have another main character. A girl. One for each legend?
Yep. The girl could control Palkia, since it's pink xD

[Mitsuzo-kun]

Thanks for the ideas, Rawr and Shiny Loser!

I don't see the use in sugarcoating the truth.


I don't mind the truth... But people often like the truth a bit softer than knives! :susp:

I'll add another main character... Yes, a girl!

That idea rocks my SOCKS!

Later, and thanks, you two!

Djax94