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Killik
03-14-2004, 03:20 PM
March 12th,

The Johto League Silver Conference. For the longest time I had hoped I would win it, now my dreams have been crushed. After losing in the second round I began to travel the world once again. After three long days and three long nights my travels brought me to the quite town of Littleroot. What did I really hope to accomplish traveling around the world? I had no idea. Maybe it was so that I could understand Pokemon more, who knows...



I closed my journal and headed to my room in the Pokemon Center. It had been a long day. I decided what I would do tomorrow. Perhaps I could take the gym challenge? Who knows, he said aloud while entering his room and falling asleep even before his head hit the bed…

The sun shone through the window in his small sized room. After a long night sleep Andrew slowly got out of bed and got dressed. He was about fifteen years of age. He loved skateboarding a lot but, he loved Pokemon even more. He had medium length black hair and blue eyes. He put on his favorite black short sleeve shirt and his blue jeans.

He packed up his stuff and left his room. He had decided he would travel to Petalburg city. There was a gym leader there or so he was told by Nurse Joy.

“Will you like to stay again tonight?” Nurse Joy asked, directing her question at Andrew.

“No, I will be traveling to Petalburg city. But thanks for the offer.” He replied, though another night in a bed sounded better than another night on the ground.

“Oh, ok. Good luck!”

“Thanks Joy.” He quickly left the Center wanting to start his new journey rather then talk to Nurse Joy.

Littleroot was a great place to be. Kids playing together, everyone living in harmony. If anyone ever decided to destroy a place as beautiful as this he would not hunt them down until they were stopped.

Suddenly a big wind started to rise and everyone was blown backwards. This was no ordinary wind, he thought. He looked up in the sky and there was the source of the wind, Team Rocket.

“Meowth, that’s right!” Was all he could hear of Team Rocket’s famous song over all the panic of the towns people.
Suddenly the wind was reversed and everything was being sucked into a big machine on the bottom of Team Rocket’s balloon.

Andrew looked over and saw a kid holding onto his Oddish as tight as he could, not wanting it to get taken away by the disgraceful trio. He had to do something, he wasn’t about to let this kid lose his Pokemon because Team Rocket thought they deserved all the world’s Pokemon.

The Oddish slipped out of the kids hands and flew towards the giant wind generating machine.

“Go, Teddiursa! Teddiursa go towards that Oddish!” Teddiursa looked at his trainer as if to say, “Are you nuts!” But he knew his trainer had a plan so it let go of its grip on the ground and flew towards Oddish.

Andrew then released Ivysaur. “Ivysaur use your Vinewhip to grab onto Teddiursa!” Just as Teddiursa grabbed onto Oddish, Ivysaur’s Vinewhip wrapped around the both of them and started to pull them in.

Then a flock of Taillows were being dragged into the machine.

There’s no way I could possibly save all those Taillows at once, he thought. He handed the kid his Oddish and instructed him to go inside his home as it would be safer there.

“Ivysaur, use Vinewhip and try to save some of those Taillows!” Ivysaur’s Vinewhip shot forward but only managed to grab on of the Taillows. It pulled the Taillow out of the machine.

Andrew and his Pokemon, and Taillow hid behind a building so that the wind couldn’t pull them in.

The Taillow bowed its head at around then looked at him and said something which he could not understand.

Then he realized what Taillow wanted to do. Andrew figured that Taillow wanted to peck the balloon which would then make it fall to the ground and hopefully shut the machine off. It was a good idea but he needed at distraction. Then he set off to work.

“Taillow when we distract Team Rocket fly around the balloon from the back so the machine doesn’t suck you up and peck it, ok?”

The Taillow nodded his head.

Andrew, Teddiursa and Ivysaur went back in the winds direction not sure if Taillow fully understood the plan.

Teddiursa already knew what Andrew was planning, and he was surprised by that. Teddiursa jumped right into the wind but then Ivysaur used Vinewhip to hold onto the bear Pokemon so that Team Rocket couldn’t take it.

“Full power James!” Meowth commanded his human friend.

Suddenly the power of the wind increased and Ivysaur tried to pull back Teddiursa but it was no use, it was heading towards the machine bit by bit. Then in an instant the balloon came tumbling to the ground and the machine was shut off.

“Great job, Taillow!” Andrew congratulated the Pokemon and was glad it knew what to do.

Then, the small bird Pokemon launched at gust of wind towards the evil trio and sent them packing!

“Team Rockets blasting off again!” They all said in unison.

Then the Taillow flew towards Ivysaur and said something to it in Pokemon language. Ivysaur understood what it wanted, and then Andrew understood at the same time. Taillow wanted to battle Andrew, and if he won Taillow join him team.

“You’re on Taillow!” He replied, excited that he would be getting a new Pokemon on his team.

Taillow lunged towards Ivysaur and then suddenly made itself into three copies.

“The double team technique…” He said, “Ivysaur fire your Razor Leaf at all the copies!”

Ivysaur did as its trainer commanded. All three leafs connected with all three copies and sent Taillow a bit backwards.

Taillow launched at Wing attack towards Ivysaur at top speed! Ivysaur was sure his trainer said something to him but he could make it out. He jumped to the left, Taillows wing just narrowly missing him but Taillow came back with another Wing attack. This time Ivysaur didn’t have enough time to dodge and was hit dead on.

“Ivysaur, charge up your Solarbeam!” Andrew knew it was a sunny day outside and he would use it to his advantage. Before Taillow could come around again with another wing attack Ivysaur launched the attack and Taillow, hitting it right on as it had done to him just seconds ago.

“Taillow, Taillow!” The Pokemon screamed in pain.

Taillow stood right infront of Ivysaur, and didn’t move a muscle.

“Ivysaur, charge another Solarbeam!” He commanded, wondering what Taillow was planning.

After about a minute of charging the Solarbeam, Ivysaur launced it, directly at Taillow. The blast connected with the Taillow, who didn’t even make a move to dodge the attack. The weakened Taillow fell to the ground, but then lifted its head up and shot a Solarbeam at Ivysaur!

Andrew didn’t know what to do or how Taillow used Solarbeam but he needed to counter with something. “Ivysaur charge up a small Solarbeam and fire it at Taillow’s Solarbeam! The two blasts connected and Taillow’s blasted right through Ivysaur’s and hit him dead on.

The two Pokemon fell to the ground, both on there last ounce of energy.

“Pokeball, go!” Andrew decided now was as good a time as any and threw the ball.

Tristan
03-14-2004, 06:51 PM
Story: 8/10

There was a little plot, with team rocket, and that was good. The story was kinda short, but Taillow is quite common, so there was no problem there. Just put a little more plot in next time.

Spelling/Grammar: 8/10

I saw some grammar errors, mainly just sentances that didn't make very much sence, or sentances that needed commas. Other than that this area was pretty well handled.

Detail: 6/10

This is where you lacked quite a bit. You didn't have much description anywhere, although you did say what the weather was like and what your character wore, you still didn't say much about what your character actually looked like, or what thoughts were going through his head during the battle, and stuff like that.

Battle: 6/10

A little short, even for a Taillow. All it was, was; Double Team, Razor Leaf, Wing Attack, and a bunch of Solar Beams. Although, you did put teeny bit of description in the battle, where wasn't much. Try to improve here next time.

Total: 28/40

The story was a good length for Taillow, and the Team Rocket thing was interesting. There wasn't much detail, so try harder in that section, and the battle was a bit emaciated. You also need to fix some grammar/spelling errors here and there, but other than that you did a nice job!

Taillow ~ Captured

Killik
03-14-2004, 06:59 PM
Sweet, thanks alot Tristan! *Hugs Taillow*