View Full Version : Go Firestorm!

12-31-2004, 11:30 AM
part one
Kit was lazing about in the sun. She had spent the day playing with Firestorm, her Vulpix, so now she was relaxing as she watched the pidgey and spearow soar in the sky, the Goldeen as they leapt out of the pond that glittered in the sunset, the Zigzagoons that rolled about, having mock battles amongst the buttercups in the meadow. Firestorm was also relaxing, her ears pricked as she listned to the sounds of a Summers evening. Everything was peacefull, and Kit found herself drifting off to sleep...
She woke up to find that it had rained. Her clothes were soaked and Firestorms pelt was dripping. Kit sighed. They would have to go to the pokecenter to dry off. On the way, Kit saw a berry bush. she picked them and tasted one. It was sweet and tender, so Kit found herself eating a whole fistfull of them. She picked more and put them in her bag for later.
When they reached the pokecenter, it was packed! Kit knew she would have a long wait, so she decided to go and look for pokemon. There was a forest next to the pokecenter, so she decided to look there first. There were Caterpie, Weedle and ratatta, but she wanted none of those. Suddenly, she tripped over a tuft of grass. She stared at the grass, and gasped! That was no ordinairy tuft of grass. That was a pokemon! Kit stared. What pokemon was it? As she was thinking, a trainer came along and saw her.
"What's that you're looking at?" He asked. He followed her gaze and said
"Oh, don't worry about that. That's just an Oddish. You see lots of them around."
But still, Kit was fascinated by it. Firestorm sniffed it and she seemed very interested. Kit wondered whenever it was worth catching, so she turned to ask the trainer. But he had gone. Kit wondered why. The answer became clear almost instantly. A buzzing could be heard in the trees. Beedrill! They swarmed around Kit and Firestorm, a massive group of them, all raising their stings threatiningly. Kit was worried. What should she do? Should she run? No! They'd just attack Firestorm! Should she fight? No! They were outnumbered, so even with a type advantage she and Firestorm would lose!
Kit started to panic. What should she do? Stay there? No! Then the Beedrill would attack them! Try to catch one to fight with? No! That would just make them even more angry! Call for help? No! Thhat would also make them angry. The situation seemed hopeless. Whatever Kit did, one of them would be in danger. Kit decided that their best chance was to fight. Maby Firestorm might just stand a chance... but then a small blue pokemon with leaves sprouting from its head leapt in front of them.
"Oddish!" It cried out, and a shimmering blue powder shot from it's head and flew straight towards the Beedrill. As it hit them, the Beedrills wings started to flap slower and slower until all of them were on the ground, fast asleep.
"Odd, odd, oddish!" Cried the Oddish (for that was the Oddish that Kit had tripped over). Kit understood. It was saying "let's get out of here!" So Kit ran, Firestorm in her arms, Oddish puffing as it struggled to keep up. Finally, Kit fell to the ground, panting.
"I think we'll be O.K now," She puffed. The Oddish seemed excited.
"Oddish odd, oddish!" It said. Kit understood.
"You wanna battle? Sure!" She cried! "Go, Firestorm!"
End of part one... part two coming up.

01-01-2005, 02:56 PM
Random suggestion: Leave a blank row between paragraphs.

01-02-2005, 01:39 PM
Oh. Thanks... I'll start part two!
Part 2
"Vul!" Firestorm cried, her coat almost glowing with stored fire that she always summoned when entering battle.

"Firestorm, use ember!" Kit cried. Firestorm opened her mouth to release a cloud of sparks at the Oddish.

"Oddish!" It cried, obviously hurt. It let out the same shimmering blue powder it had used on the Beedrill. Kit had a problem. If the powder even touched Firestorm, she would fall asleep... suddenly, Kit had an idea.

"Firestorm, set fire to the powder!" She called out to the fox pokemon. Firestorm unleashed a stream of fire that set the shimmering powder ablaze. The match tipped back into their favour again, as the Oddish tried to dodge the falling sparks that showered the battlefield. Suddenly, just as the last spark faded away to a thin plume of smoke, the Oddish shot out a purple ball. When the purple ball hit Firestorm, she yelped in pain, as the patch of fur that had been hit started to dissolve away. Kit realised that the attack must have been acid.

"Firestorm, shake it off, or it'll just carry on stinging!" She yelled, hoping that Firestorm hadn't been poisoned, a side effect that occasionally happened. Fortunatley, Firestorm shook off the worst of the acid, and got ready for her next attack as if the acid had never hit her. Kit let out a sigh of relief that Firestorm was O.K.

"Firestorm, try another ember!" Kit said loudly. But this time, the Oddish was ready. It leapt up just as the embers reached it, and landed behind Firestorm. Firestorm stared at the spot where Oddish had been before, confused. Oddish lowered it's head, and charged, hitting Firestorm with a powerful headbut that sent the red fox pokemon sprawling on the ground. Firestorm got to it's feet, it's eyes glowing angrily. Kit was surprised to see that Firestorms eyes were glowing blue, instead of the usual amber colour. It was preparing to use a fire attack, but which one? Not ember, that was for sure! Firestorms eyes changed colour, to red...

"Vuuuuuuuuuuul!" She cried! A tornado of fire erupted from her mouth and engulfed the Oddish. The Oddish cried out, but the attack didn't stop. The attack was Fire spin, a powerful fire attack that hurts the opponent between attacks. Suddenly, the Oddish went limp. Kit called for Firestorm to stop, as she pulled a red and white ball about the size of an orange from her bag.

"Oddish, you're mine!" Kit cried as she threw the ball at Oddish. It touched the blue pokemon, and sucked it in with a red beam of light. The bal rocked once... twice... thrice...

Jack of Clovers
01-15-2005, 03:25 AM
sorry for late grade, missed this one.

story: small and simple. you go out and search for a Pokemon. it's basic but just enough. the whole story should be twice as long as this next time.

grammer: nothing noticeable.

detail: i love, absolutely love your second line. put a picture right in my head.
"She had spent the day playing with Firestorm, her Vulpix, so now she was relaxing as she watched the pidgey and spearow soar in the sky, the Goldeen as they leapt out of the pond that glittered in the sunset, the Zigzagoons that rolled about, having mock battles amongst the buttercups in the meadow."
great job with the details. though, you should have described what Kit looks like to give the reader an idea.

battle: Oddish isn't rare... it's short but i like it. there should be more attacks taking place between Vulpix and Oddish, even in an advantage battle. it's well detailed. :biggrin:

realty: good.

tips: wonderful story idea. i like the writing style and i want to know what happens next. next time, you need a longer story and battle. and even though your details are good, always improve.

Outcome- Oddish Captured!


01-21-2005, 08:39 PM
O.K, thanks... YAY! I caught Oddish!