View Full Version : The game corner, and the Chansey.
This story is sort of a continou to my last story, adventure in goldenrood.
The trainer named Bob.
I am twelve years old boy. I wish to bee a great Pokemon trainer. My name is ball. My hometown is New bark town. I have some friends, but I havenít saw them in ages. They donít travel with me. They even arenít Pokemon trainers. I have only two Pokemon. They are a Houndour, and an Electrike. Houndour is my starter. Electrike was captured in an adventure. The adventure in short is like this:
I traveled to Goldenrod city. In there I battled a trainer. I won in the battle, and after it an old man told me about the Electrike, who is wary strong. Well, I went, andÖ
Ok, I got the point, said Bob. You captured Electrike write here, in Goldenrod. Everybody knows about this. Nobody went to the National park, because of him, but now thanks to you everything is ok, and the bug catching contest is happening again.
Bob is short trainer, who wanted to now something more about me. He said: I heard a lot about you, could you tell me something, because you have done so much. He wears a red shirt, and green shorts. He has short dark brown hair. The strange thing is, that he wanted to know something about me, but now he says, that he already knows about it.
But why did you asked me to tell about myself? I asked.
Well all city knows how you captured the Electrike, but no one knows about from where you are, and who you are. Oh, I am going to the gym, do you want to join me? Bob replied.
Ok, but why do you go to the gym? Are you aiming at the Pokemon league? I asked.
No, no. I just want to know something about the Game corner. Said Bob.
I know something about it. While trying to capture Electrike, I metÖ
I know who you met. Thatís why I started talking with you. I couldnít care less, about the Park, or your Pokemon captures. I am investigating the Game corner crimes. Oh yea, could we get mowing to the gym? Said Bob.
Ok. I answered shortly.
We walked trough the huge city pretty fast. The bridges on the ground were red. We werenít talking. He seemed to be thinking about something. We went past the haircut brothers shop, and turned right. I saw the gym. It was huge. It looked real cool. The windows were shiny, and the walls gray. We went in.
Bob asked the man, who was standing in front of the door, and not letting us in: let me in. I need to meet the leader of this gym.
Only for battle. Said the guard.
Oh common, I have a serious talking with the leader. Bob dint gave up.
I can battle the leader. I said in hopes, that the guard would let us in.
No, I will battle said Bob, this is my case, and I will solve it myself. Ok not myself alone, but still I am going to battle.
Ok, said the silent guard.
The guard let us in, and leaded to a room. The gym from inside looked even more impressing, than from outside. There were a lot of flowers in the gym.
A lot of girls were staring at as. I couldnít hear all, that they said, but I did heard: a new challenger, Whitney will cram him, as she did to that bad boy with Sunflora.
The silent one opened the door, and a huge battling field was reveled. There was a line crossing the field, and a Pokeball was droved in the middle. There was an outlet in the opposite side of the field in the shadow. The outlet came out of the shadows, and it was a girl. The girl has a brown red hair. She is thin, and is kind of tall. She wears a white shirt and a white pants.
Battle two against two, no time limit. Start, shouted the silent guard.
Looked that the shouting is real hard to the guard. I think that his neck hurts, but no one knows.
The battle started. The girl named Whitney sanded out a Miltank. The huge cow started with a huge mmmmmiiiiiillllllllttttttt call, witch was pretty low, and long. Bob sanded out a Hitmonchan. The boxer didnít said anything.
Miltank, rollout, shouted the leader.
The cow started to roll. It rolled faster and faster. You werenít able even to see who was doing the attack. No legs, no body, just something rolling. The rolling object started to roll at Himonchans side.
Hitmonchan jump, and use ice punch, yelled Bob.
The boxer Pokemon jumped, but not high. When the cow tank was under the Hitmonchan, Hitmonchans fist became icy, and punched the rolling object.
The Miltank became a ball of ice. The poor cow rolled right in to the wall. The ice smashed trough the wall, and Miltank seemed really hurt.
Miltank, Miltank, are you ok, get up. Screamed Whitney.
Miltank started to move. The poor cow was exhausted, and cold. But it wasnít fainted. It tried to get up.
Mach punch now, while the Miltank is week.
The Hitmonchan started to run weary quickly. After a second he wasnít even seen able. That was really scary it looked like the big boxer has disappeared. But that wasnít for long, after few seconds Hitmonchan appeared from nowhere, and punched the poor Miltank.
Finish him with comet punch, happily said Bob.
Hitmonchan started punching the poor Miltank with really fast, and strong punches.
Miltank flinched in pain, and fainted.
Miltank, return, sadly said Whitney.
She looked at the Pokeball, and sadly said poor Miltank, you did all you could. Thanks for your effort. She carefully putted the Pokeball in her belt, and took out another ball. The ball was golden.
She looked at it and said: do your best, and please do what I say too.
She threw the ball, and shouted: go Chansey.
The ball hutted the ground, and opened. A Pokemon, witch looked like an egg come out. It was the rare and powerful Chansey.
It shouted: chans, Chhhhhhhaaaaaaaannnnnsssseeeyyyy.
This Pokemons voice wasnít that deep and low, It was a happy and joyful high tone cry.
Whitney ordered Chansey: Use return.
Chansey didnít even try to use the attack. The lucky egg Pokemon just looked to Whitney.
Comet punch, said Bob in hopes, that this battle would be as easy, as the previous with Miltank.
Hitmonchan jumped, and landed in front of the Chansey. It started punching the poor luck, but Chansey knocked Hitmonchan back. It looked like a counter.
Then the lucky egg Pokemonís egg started to glow. It glowed brighter, and brighter, until a light flash happened. Chansey recovered from the flash. Then Chanseys eyes started to glow red. The air wowed, like it was hot. Then the Hitmonchan started to glow in blue color. He floated up in the air, and then flied rite to the wall with huge power.
Hitmonchan is unable to battle, said the quiet guard.
Bob took his second Pokeball, threw it, and said: go Snorlax.
The Pokeball opened, and a big, and fat creature come out. The creature was sleeping and snoring awfully loud.
Chansey return, please do what I say, yust once, said Whitney, in hopes, that this time Chansey is going to do what she says.
Chansey punched Snorlax rite in to its face. The punch was really weak, but it woke Snorlax up.
Snorlax was angry, for the disturbance of its sleep. It rolled on Chansey squashing it really hard. Snorlax fell asleep, again.
Whitney couldnít stand seeing Chansey being hurted so much, and said: I give up. Then she took out a Pokeball, and said: Chansey return. A beam was fired out of the ball at Chansey. It sucked her inside.
The silence guard said: Whitney has been defeated, challenger wins.
Whitney took a badge out of her pocket: here this is theÖ
Bob replied quickly, not letting the girl finish: You can keep the badge, I donít need it, but I would be happy if you would tell me how to get below the game corner, and there should be a code, I need it to.
Whitney nervously replied: why do you think I know it?
Because your old gym were really close to game corner, and when you left it, and mowed to here man from game corner mowed in there. The password cannot be changed, and you know it. Bob impenitently said.
Why do we need the password, I asked to Bob.
Because it opens a door to underground tunnel, which goes below game corner, their headquarter must be there, they are capturing Pokemon illegally for slot prizes, and the man you saw trying to capture all those Sudowudo was their leader. Now Whitney, tell the location of the entrance to the underground tunnel, and the password, Bob said.
Ok, ok the password is slowpoketail, and a ratikatetail, they use it on all of their missions, and if needed there can be other password, itís Giovanni. That game corner was rocket one, but when a boy before two years defeated them in they lost their game corner in Kanto, and also the one in Johto, witch they owned that time. And the door is second door left, first stairs.
Thank you, but by the way, are you interested in trading your Chansey for my Snorlax? It doesnít obey you anyway, Bob asked before we went away.
Well it really doesnít obey me, and I would like the Snorlax better, ok I accept the trade, Whitney replied.
They went in other room, while I was left in the field with the silent guard. I waited for a few minutes, until they come out.
Lets go, Bob said to me.
We went out of the gym, and turned right.
Did the trade went ok, I asked to Bob.
Yes, Bob shortly replied.
He was thinking about something. I didnít know about what, but that boy, could he be red? The champion of Kanto? The one that trains inside the silver cave, and ad he said, he will train, until he will be the best trainer ever? He was the one who defeated team rocket?
We went in to a house, with a lot of floors, and stairs. We took the first stairs, and went to the door Whitney said as to go. Bob entered the two passwords, and the door opened.
In the underground.
We went trough the door. It was too dark to see something.
Go Ampharos someone said, possibly Bob.
Flash, the same voice shouted.
A bright light flashed. A yellow Pokemon lighted up the tunnel. It was wet, and full with Spinarak. The spiders were scared of us, and hided in some kind of caves. The tunnel was in horrible condition, but we werenít the ones, who walked here first in lot of years. There were a lot of footprints on the rock floor. The footprints here werenít only human ones, There were a lot of Pokemon ones too. We started walking, until two wild Ariados attacked us.
Go Chansey, said Bob, and sanded out the Chansey.
Go Houndour, I said, and sanded out my Houndour.
Chansey Psychic, said Bob.
Houndour flamethrower, I said.
Houndour blew out a bunch of hot flames from his mouth, aiming at one of wild Ariados.
The Ariados tried to dodge, but the tunnel wasnít wide enough. The flamethrower hut him, and he burned. The huge spider started running, and he rune farer trough the tunnel, until we couldnít see him.
The second Ariados fired a spider web at my Houndour.
The tunnel was too small to dodge, so the dark puppy was jammed in the spider web.
Chansey didnít even move.
Bob kicked the egg Pokemon, and repeated the word psychic.
Chansey flinched in pain, but didnít obey.
The Ariados fired another web at the Chansey, and jammed it too.
Houndour, are you ok, I asked, get up, I said again. Go Electrike, I said, and threw out another Pokeball.
An electric dog come out of the ball. It had big tooth, and it looked angry.
Thunder, I said to Electrike.
Thunder Ampharos, Bob said.
Both electric Pokemon fired a bright beam of lightning at the spider, and the spider was knocked right at the wall. It couldnít survive such a powerful attack. The attack was so powerful that it fainted the Ariados immediately.
We both, I and Bob released our trapped Pokemon.
I said to Houndour and Electrike: good job you two, rest now in your Pokeballs, and sucked them both in to Pokeballs, witch I putted in my belt.
Bob kicked Chansey, and said to it: you stupid egg, obey me, and returned her in a Pokeball, witch he putted in his pocked.
We went farer through the tunnel, witch looked like a dungeon. Then we went to a door, and Bob wrote the third password, and the door opened.
Immediately, when we went in the next room, witch were full of boxes two men walked in front of as, and asked: who are you two? We donít think you are in the game corners personal.
We arenít, from your firms personal, we have come to stop your illegal Pokemon selling business, I said.
Yes, and we are going to put your leader in jail, Bob said.
We are? I asked.
Yes we are, Bob replied.
Then we are going to kick you out of here said the duo, and sanded out Ivisaur and Wartortle.
Go Electrike, I said, and threw a Pokeball, witch opened, and an Electrike appeared out from it.
Go you stupid Chansey, try not to obey to me, and I will be real bad to you, Bob said, and sanded out Chansey.
Chansey, use Psychic that Ivisaur, Bob ordered Chansey.
Electrike, use Thunder on Wartortle, I ordered Electrike.
Electrike fired a powerful blast with electricity at the Wartortle.
Wartortle dodge, and use hydro pump on that Electrike, one of the game corner personal said.
Wartortle jumped aside of the strike of electricity, windrowed in to his shell, and fired a really powerful strike of water at Electrike.
Electrike couldnít dodge the water cannon, and was hated rite in to the wall.
Electrike, get up, I shouted.
Electrike got up. He was real dizzy after the hit, but he gathered his strength, jumped, and bitted the Wartortle, and after the bite smashed it back with an electric shock.
Ivisaur, bind Chansey with your wine whip, sad the other game corner personal guy.
Wines started coming out from the back of the Ivisaur. They bided the poor Chansey.
Ccccchhhhaaannnssss, Chansey shouted in pain.
Stop screaming, and use Psychic on that Ivisaur.
Ccchhhaaannnnnsssss, chansey continued screaming, with its high tone voice.
What is the matter with you, you damn egg, canít you stand a little wine whips? Said Bob.
Ccchhhaaannnssss, chansey still screamed in pain of the whips.
Recall her, I said to Bob, she canít stand it.
Ok, ok I will recall that weak Chansey, Bob said, took a Pokeball out of his pocket and fired a red beam at Chansey.
The beam made Chansey red, and the ball sucked her in.
Ampharos use your fire punch that Ivisaur.
AmpharosĎs arm burned, but the burn didnít seem to inflict much pain to him. He jumped right in front of the Ivisaur, and punched him with his fiery arm. After the punch he unlashed a powerful lightning strike to the already injured Ivisaur.
Ivisaur return, said the game corner employee, and aimed the beam from his Pokeball at the Ivisaur. Ivisaur was sucked in to the ball.
Electrike, use Thunder on the Wartortle, I said.
Ampharos, use Thunder on the Wartortle, Bob said.
Both Pokemon started glowing, and fired a strike of lightning in the air. The lightings joined, and fired at the Wartortle.
Wartortle couldnít dodge the electricity, because he was to confused by the thing he was seeing.
The joined lightning looked like a big, yellow bird flying at Wartortle. The bird hut the Wartortle, and the turtle flied in the air, and landed on the air fainted.
The employee returned the Wartortle, and he with the other employee rune through the door we just come in, and after a few seconds both of them was gone.
We should use that double lightning more often, I said.
Yea, we should, replied Bob.
We both walked through the tunnel farer, and went to another door. I opened the door.
We both went in to a room with a lot of cages. There were Pokemon in the cages. The room was huge. The cages were everywhere. At the other end of the room where a door.
They must be the illegal prizes, I said.
Yes, they are, and they are a lot here, Bob replied.
We went farer, but then a cage fell on Bob and his Ampharos.
Another personal man went through the door at the end of the room. He threw a Pokeball at the air, and a Kabutops come out of it. The Kabutops looked pretty ugly. It had two scythes. Itís color was brown.
The trainer said: Kabutops, attack the Electrike with your scythes.
The Kabutops tried to slash Electrike, but Electrike quickly dodged the attack.
Electrike Thunder, I said to my Pokemon.
Electrike fired a strike of lightning at Kabutops.
Kabutops, block, said the game corner personal man.
Kabutops blocked the attack with both of his scythes, the lightning didnít hurted the ancient beast at all.
Kabutops slash that Electrike, and this time hit, the trainer said.
Electrike dodge, I said.
Electrike dodged the hits of the scythes of Kabutops, until one hit hut.
Electrike was hurt from the hit. He fell on the floor.
Electrike, return, I said, and sucked him in a Pokeball.
Go Houndour, I said and threw a Pokeball. A dark puppy come out of the ball.
Crunch that Kabutops, I said to Houndour.
Houndour jumped, and bitted the ancient beast.
Now blast it back wit Flamethrower, and use smog.
The Kabutops was blasted back by fire.
Now Houndour blow a poison cloud from his mouth.
The cloud hut Kabutops, and it fainted.
The trainer took a Pokeball from his belt, and sucked Kabutops in it. He tried to run.
Not so fast, let him out, I said, and pointed to the cage with Bob in it, or my Houndour will roust you with his Flamethrower.
Ok, ok, the game corner employee said, took out a remote control from his pocket, and pushed a button.
The cage lifted up, and let out Bob.
Can I go, asked the scared trainer.
No, I replied, the next door, is coded, open them.
But my boss is going to kill me for it, he said.
Me to, I said.
The trainer opened the door.
There were a lot of passageways.
Take me to your boss, I said.
But, but, he replied.
Just do it, I said to him.
The trainer leaded us to a cabinet. He opened the door, and let us in.
The cabinet looked really good. There were a lot of computers in it. Some cages with Pokemon in them were there too. There were a sofa in there also. Bookcases were full of books. Walls were green. And in the middle of the room was a table. Behind the table was a chair. In the chair was sitting the same trainer I met in the forest with Sudowudo.
Hello, welcome in my game corner head quarters. But now, if you please could. Get out!
We are getting nowhere, Bob replied. I am from police, and we are shutting this place down.
Pretty interesting, because what could you do? Asked the director.
If you wont get out with good, we are going to blast this place up, using our Pokemon, I said.
Lets have a deal, we will have a Pokemon fight. If you will win, we will get out, but if I will win, then you will give me your Pokemon. I have already battled you Ball, so I will battle you, director said, and pointed at Bob.
Challenge excepted, Bob said.
Ok, the battle will be three versus three.
Go Hitmonchan, said Bob, and threw a Pokeball in the air.
Hitmonchan, the fast boxing Pokemon come out of the ball.
Go Polivrat, said the director, and also threw a Pokeball in the air.
Hitmonchan, comet punch, said Bob.
Polivrat, use your Hypnosis, at the Hitmonchan, said the game corner director.
The vortex at the belly of the Polivrat started spinning, but Hitmonchan didnít look at it, he just punched it, and Polivrat, with a lot of fast punches.
Polivrat flinched, and stopped the hypnosis.
Hitmonchan, finish him of with a mach punch.
The boxer jumped up, and then rune so fast, that he couldnít even be sawed. Then the Hitmonchan appeared right in front of the Polivrat, and punched it with huge strength.
Polivrat fell of on the floor, and didnít mow. He was fainted.
Polivrat, return, go Gengar, and use Psychic on that pathetic Hitmonchan, director said.
The ghost Pokemonís eyes started to glow.
Hitmonchan flew up in the air. He was glowing. Then he flew right to the wall, hutted it, and fell on the ground. He didnít move. He was also fainted.
Return, Bob said, go Chansey, and fight this time you rotten egg Pokemon.
Bob threw a Pokeball in the air, and Chansey come out of it.
Chansey didnít even move. She didnít wanted to fight, but maybe, it didnít wanted to fight at the Bobís side.
Gengar, psychic her, until she faints, the director said.
Gengar started to levitate Chansey, and hit it to all the walls.
Chansey didnít last long, really soon she fainted.
Stupid egg, you cant even fight, return, Bob said, and fired a laser from the Pokeball at her.
Go Ampharos, quickly use Thunder on Gengar, Bob said, and the electric creature quickly jumped in front of the almighty Gengar.
Ampharos started glowing, and fired a bolt of electricity at the ghost.
Gengar couldnít dodge, the room, was too small. He was stroked by the lightning. Gengar couldnít move. He was fainted.
Oh no, the director said, I have no chances of winning, go Pidgeot.
The director said, and threw a Pokeball in the air. A huge bird come out of it.
But unfortunately the room was too small for Pidgeot to fly.
Ampharos, Thunder, said Bob.
Ampharos charged for another strike, but Pidgeot was just helplessly watching it. Ampharos released the powerful strike at Pidgeot.
Pidgeot couldnít dodge, because the room was too small to fly, but the legs of the bird couldnít carry it fast enough to dodge the deadly strike, he fell down from the strength of it, and fainted.
The Chansey trouble.
You have three days to get out of this town, Bob said, and asked, are there some quicker way, to get out of here, than the dungeon?
Yes, itís the opposite door, but please donít putt me in to the gale.
We are going to see about that, Bob said, and went out by the door.
Better get out faster, than three days, because in that way you cold get out of the possibility that you could be putted in to the gale, I said, and went out by the door too.
Bob waited me out. Lets go, he said, and we went in the next room.
I followed him. There was stairs in that room. We climbed up by them, and at the end of the stairs were door. We opened the door, and went through them.
We where located in the game corner. A lot of people were playing games. We were behind the man, who sells the coins. We went out of the game corner, and it was already evening.
Go to an inn, Bob said, you need sleep, and I will have a surprise four you tomorrow.
We broke up, and I went past the street, where an inn was located.
I went in it, and asked: do you have a free room for this night?
Yes we have, a man behind a table replied, that would be five dollars.
Ok here you go, I said to the man, and gave him the money.
The man took the money, and gave me a key, that is for your room, and follow me, he said and leaded me to a room. Here it is, a room for one night, one person, the man said, and showed to a door, after that he went away.
I unlocked the door, and went in. It was a little room, with one window, and one bed. I dressed down, and went in the bed. I though, what could be the surprise Bob told me about, and immediately fell asleep.
In the next morning, when I went out of the inn, Bob was already waiting me. He had a bicycle with him.
Good morning, said Bob, this bicycle is the gift from me, as a thanks for your helping me in the game corner. This was suppose to be the only gift four you, but late in the night I understood, that I must give you another gift, my Chansey.
No, butÖ I said.
No I must give it to you, I treat it wrong. You are a better trainer, take it, Bob said.
Ok then, if you think so.
Bob gave me the bike, and the Pokeball, but when he handed me the Pokeball, the Chansey pooped out of it. I tried to return her, but nothing worked. The Chansey either didnít wanted to be owned, or didnít wanted, that I would get her so easily. The Chansey started running away. Its legs isnít tall, but still it ran fast.
What, donít let her escape she is too rare, besides you need her, Bob said
Ok bye, thanks, I said, and started to ride after Chansey.
Bye, Bob said. Maybe he said something more, but I didnít hear it I was already too far away.
I followed the Chansey. Chansey ran out of the town, and I ridded after her. That was odd, that a Chansey rune so fast. The Chansey stopped, because it was nowhere to go for her. A rock wall blocked her way.
I stopped, jumped of, of the bike, and said, go Electrike, and threw a Pokeball in the air.
Electrike came out of the Pokeball.
Electrike, use Thunder, I ordered Elecrike.
Electrike fired a powerful blast of electricity at Chansey.
Chansey dodged the attack, and started glowing.
Electrike flew up in the air, and then fell down.
Electrike, get up, I shouted.
Electrike got up.
Try to bite her, I ordered Electrike.
Electrike jumped at Chansey, and tried to bite her.
The Chansey dodged the bite.
Electrike tried again. This time the attack hut her.
The Chansey flinched in pain.
Blast her with Thunder, I said to Electrike.
Electrike released his fangs, jumped back, and released a powerful strike of electricity at Chansey.
Chansey hut the rock wall, but got up, and started glowing again.
Electrike flew up in the air, and fell down again, but this time he didnít move, he was fainted.
I fired a beam from the Pokeball at him, and the beam sucked him in. Then I threw another Pokeball in the air, and said: Houndour go.
The ball opened, and a fiery puppy appeared.
Houndour, use Flamethrower, I ordered the Houndour.
Houndour blew hot flames from his mouth at Chansey.
Chansey dodged the attack, and started glowing, but this time nothing happened with my Pokemon. Houndour stud the same as before, nothing happened with him. Chansey was real confused because of that.
Houndour hit her now, when she is distracted with another Flamethrower, I ordered Houndour.
Houndour blew the flames at the Chansey, but this time she didnít dodged, this time she stud the same as before.
The flames hut Chansey this time, and she fell down on the ground and didnít mowed.
I threw a Pokeball at her. The ball sucked her in, fell on the ground, and started to shake.
03-17-2005, 10:54 AM
This is really good (In my opinion). You might get a Chansey.
03-17-2005, 11:15 AM
Story (Length, Details, Plot):
The story line wasn't so exciting at some parts since it lacked with details and even a good plot. I liked it at parts but still, the plot and story line weren't enough for a Pokemon as rare as Chancey. Now to the length, it definatly lacked in lengthed with only 25,000 characters, a Chancey needs a minimum range of a 35,000 characters which means 3 and a half full posts to be captured and you are 10,000 characters away so it is nearly impossible to get it. Not to forget the lack in details...
Structure (Grammer, Spelling):
Well, I noticed many mistakes here and there, you better capitalize attacks names and towns'city names at some parts. You also had some typoes but not many as well. To do better next time, check your grammer in some program and so for spelling.
Meh...it could happen I guess...
Battle (Details, Length, Excitement):
Well, battle wasn't bad, I actually liked it but think of it, is this enough for a Chancey, even in the RBY/GSC and gameboy games Chancey is a VERY rare to FIND Pokemon how about to CATCH. It could have been longer, much longer with much more attacks from both sides and details for each attack. I couldn't also find much excitement in the battles as much as the story...sorry.
OUTCOME- Chancey not captured in a medium lengthed story. Try harder next time and add MUCH more details and think of something exciting for the battles and story line to capture such a great Pokemon. And make sure that the characters count isn't less than 35,000 prefarably 40,000 characters and thanks ^^
To Lugia Tamer- From outside, and normal reading it would sound a good for a Cahncey. But such a pokemon as Chancey shouldn't be an easy to get my friend. We graders make sure that not anyone can pass this "test" and get the rarest of all in simple stories. Beside, such a pokemon to capture...I had to triple check grammer/spelling and read it three and four times to make sure if it is good enough or not enough.
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