View Full Version : ||Nidorina Night Out!|| [Chapter 2]

11-08-2007, 02:31 AM
Pikachu Patrol!
Word Count: 4,107
Character Count: 23,194 (with spaces)

“Ugh.. mom.. wasn’t my alarm supposed to.. go off..?”

Yawning, I rubbed my tired eyes and looked around my blurry but slightly getting clearer bedroom. I currently lay in my soft bed, wondering what was so important at the moment that I had forgotten. It seemed clear in my mind that I had to do something important today, but what was it?

It was a tough feat just to manage to climb out of the warmth of my woolen Mareep blankets, and I shivered. Even the hardwood floors felt freezing underneath my bare feet. Throwing my bedroom door open a little harder than I anticipated and having it hit against my creamsicle colored wall with an ear piercing BANG! I cringed at the sound.

I shuffled against the cold floors into the hallway that led to our kitchen only to be greeted by an overexcited six-tailed fox. The female Vulpix put her forepaws upon knees, yipping excitedly at my sudden appearance. It seemed that she was reminding me of something.. why else would the vulpine Pokémon be so thrilled and excited?

Glancing at my mother whom was reading the PokéTimes in the kitchen, I slowly approached her, attempting to stifle yet another oncoming yawn and quite frankly, failing miserably. She set down her newspaper and took a sip of her coffee in a Pichu shaped mug, and the fragrant aroma wafted through the room and I loved how it smelled. Suddenly, I felt the urge to scan my mom up and down. She was basically a spitting image of myself, though wrinkles and lines upon her forehead disproved this. However, she had the same, brown auburn hair that I did, though hers was constantly worn in a neat bun atop her head and had just the slightest gray strands. Her aquatic blue eyes even had the same pattern as my own set of irises.

I was interrupted from my random inner thoughts by the peppy Vulpix as she pawed at my legs once more and I picked her up, cradling her like a little baby.

“There, there, Kallia. Mommy’s here to give you some attention,” I cooed softly, as if this were truly my own human spawn that I held within my arms right now.

My mother finally acknowledged my presence and smiled in one of those motherly, clever looking smiles as if they knew everything in the word. Arceus, did I hate those smiles! Really, what were mothers really thinking inwardly whilst doing that? It was one of those ever-burning questions within my mind.

“Well, are you ready, my dear Kayla?” my mother finally spoke up, and I looked at her with such a look of confusion. I don’t believe I was ever more confused than I was at that very moment. Ah, wait! She must be meaning that thing that I remembered that I forgot.. erm, what?

With an utterly dumbfounded look upon my face, I replied a bit shakily, “Er, actually, mom, I don’t quite remember what I'm supposed to be ready for..” Kallia interrupted my fierce concentration on trying to remember when she pawed at the air with her forepaws. I couldn’t help but smile.. my little Vulpix was just so adorable! I began to rub her belly, her soft, brown-orange fur moving along with my hand.

“Vul, vulpix!” Kallia yipped happily, looking up at her mother with shining eyes.

I watched as my mother shook her head in displeasure at my utter forgetfulness. However, she finally replied, “You're to begin your Pokémon journey today! I’m surprised you weren’t leaping out of bed like a maniac when you first woke up. Thankfully for you, you already have your first Pokemon so you don’t have to bother with attending Professor Oak’s Lab and the likes. You amaze me, Kayla.”

My face lit up in excitement.. How could I forget this, possibly the most important day in my life?! Another one of those crazy, wise, mother smiles arose upon my mother’s aged features. Not wanting to waste time fuming inwardly about it, I fled to my bedroom as quickly as possible.


I was finally about to leave. The beginning of my Pokémon journey! I couldn't believe this was finally happening.. the one day I had waited for my absolute entire life! Excitement bubbled within my whole self, threatening to soon spill over..

My brown auburn hair was brushed neatly, and my bright blue eyes were determined. I wore a simple light blue sun dress with spaghetti straps, dark gray knee socks, and my favorite pair of light blue Converses. A tiny light blue bow was fastened to the left side of my bangs, and I fastened a matching one around Kallia's tiny, furry ear. She looked simply adorable!

I slung my gray backpack over my right shoulder and looked at my mom. Both of our faces seemed to be filled with sorrow. It would be difficult not to see her every day of my life, as much as she annoyed me at times. There was a final embrace, and I could have sworn as we hugged, I saw tears fill her eyes. If she really was about to cry, my mother did quite a good job of hiding it, as she smiled at me warmly after the hug. I guess it was one of those motherly traits kicking in once again..

I sniffed and said quietly, “I'm gonna miss you, mom..”

Another all-knowing smile flashed upon her face, though this time I did not fume. It would be the last time I would see one of these horrid smiles in quite a while.

“You're going to make a fine trainer, Kayla, and you just remember that. I lived out my dreams of becoming an elite trainer, and I have already completed this task. Your destiny is not laid out yet.. now go, before I get emotional!”

However, it was apparent that it was too late. Tears had already reached the outsides of her eyes already, threatening to drip down and slide down her middle-aged cheeks. With a wave, I scooped up Kallia in one quick motion and set out for Professor Oak's legendary laboratory.


I blinked in amazement at how it felt to be “free”. There were no strict rules to follow. No harsh punishments, to go along with that. No bedtimes. I could stay up as late as I wanted! Although these perks were good things to me, I felt a slight emptiness. Or, quite possibly, a certain nervousness. No, I didn't feel like a Pidgey just released from its cage into the wild, soaring high above pine treetops and laughing in sheer joy as I flew through fluffy white clouds. I felt empty. How could I feel this way? I guess it was just the vast unknown that lie ahead of me, threatening to gobble me up at my slightest mistake.

Setting Kallia upon the ground as her weight was beginning to wear down my arms’ strength, I looked down upon her. The fox looked back up at me with her soft brown eyes. I smiled, bending down to pat her head quickly.


We began to walk towards the large building in the middle of my little town of Pallet, known as the Samuel Oak Laboratory of Pokémon Research. Nobody ever called it that, however. We just referred to it as Oak’s Lab. Finally, I halted and looked at the glass doors nervously. They were large and seemingly intimidating. I pulled out Kallia’s Pokéball and returned her. My little Vulpix disappeared into the sphere in a shimmery red light.

“Sorry, Kallia, but I don’t want to show you off to all of the other new trainers who are receiving their lame starter Pokémon today. I’ll bring you back out later for sure.”

With that, I quickly shoved the red-and-white ball into my gray backpack. Nervously, I gulped and pushed open the beautiful doors and stepped inside. It was a typical laboratory.. machines everywhere, tables, computers, cabinets, bookshelves, the works. However, I had been expecting the building to be flooded with new trainers and Aides frantically handing out starters. Nobody was there at all! Looking around the desolate room for at least some sign of life, I saw one blue Pokédex laying upon the table. It was so pretty, in all of its technological glory! I was tempted to just snatch it and go, but no, that would be stealing. I’m not a thief!

Just before she was about to call and request help, a very flustered looking male Aide with nerdy glasses and a white lab coat busted from a door to a back room and it made me jump.

“O-oh, I’m terribly sorry. We have run out of Pokémon, so you’ll have to wait until.. next year..” the Aide said, catching his breath from rushing into the main room where I now stood. To this, I smiled benevolently and dug through my backpack to pull out my Vulpix’s shiny Pokéball.

“It's fine, sir. I already have my own Pokémon, a Vulpix to be exact. I have just come for my Pokédex,” I said, smiling courteously at the flustered man.

I saw his dull green-gray eyes dart to the table, where the single blue Pokédex remained. My eyes also became transfixed upon the Pokémon encyclopedia.

“I’m sorry, miss - I didn't catch your name - but that Dex has no name written on it for me to hand out. All of the others had sticky notes stuck onto them. As you can plainly see, miss, there’s nothing on here,” he said, turning back to me and looking down at me glumly.

I released Kallia once more, as I figured we would be leaving soon. He began to walk with me toward the exit, with my small, orange-brown fox trotting next to me and trying to keep pace. As we stood next to those great glass doors to bid each other farewell, he held that beautiful looking blue Pokédex in his outstretched hands. My eyes became transfixed upon the device, unmoving. Kallia looked up at me quite oddly.

“I apologize for your lake of a Pokédex, miss, but I can’t give this to y--”

I hardly knew what I was doing. It felt as if someone else were controlling me at the moment, making my arms quickly reach out slowly, ever so slowly, for what seemed like an eternity. My fingers grasped around the slightly cold plastic surface and I ripped the brilliant blue Pokédex from his weak hands. I held it in my hands, not knowing what to do now. What else could I do, besides run? A surprised look remained agape upon my face and I held the Dex to my chest, scooping up Kallia in my arms and running out of that building as fast as I could, through the tiny town of Pallet, which I would not come to see for quite a long time.

I had made my decision, and there was no turning back now. I was getting tired from all this running. My brand spanking new running shoes had not been properly broken in, and they rubbed against my ankles ever so slightly with each step. Another challenge for me was to not drop the blue Pokédex and to carry my tiny-but-still-tough-to-carry-whilst-running Vulpix.

Adrenaline pumped through my veins from so much fear and confusion at what I was doing. Why had I taken it? Why couldn't I have waited to get word from Professor Oak himself? No, I was a criminal now. A pitiful person who had to resort to thievery. A young trainer corrupted into a bandit at a young age.

I had to stop running. I pulled out my digital map that showed my very location and it said that I was only a Route 1, halfway between Pallet Town and Viridian City. Oh good, so I was going the right way. Was it my criminal instincts that led me to this place? No, it couldn't be. I can't be a criminal.. I'm just a misguided young girl, that's all.. Oh, boy, this is going to be a tough journey. I can NOT believe I did that.. It’s so unlike me that it’s amazing. I need to get a hold of myself.

To subdue my conflicting thoughts, I decided to take a rest underneath a large oak tree. As I realized what kind of tree it was, it just made me stroke Kallia for comfort and it brought tears to my eyes.


I ran my fingers through my hair and finally decided what I had to do. What else could I possibly do? It was time for a confession. I didn’t want to confess, but a new trainer living life as a criminal? Nah, I didn’t think so. Besides, it would feast upon my conscience and make me guilty for the rest of my life.

With a sigh, I picked up Kallia and began to trudge through the tall grass, hoping for no wild Pokémon encounters. I just had to make it to Viridian City to make my ultimate confession to Professor Oak. It was my lucky day! Or not. However, I was lucky with the fact that I didn't have to deal with any vicious Pidgey or something to that extent. I looked outward to see Viridian City in all of its glory.

There was the traditional blue roofed Pokémart and the red roofed Pokémon Center. There were two identical white-tan houses with wooden doors and potted plants placed neatly in front of them. It was a generally nice city, though there was not much to do. I couldn’t quite see the Viridian City Gym, but I knew it was there somewhere. I breathed in the clean air and started towards the Pokémon Center. It would have been an opportune time to heal Kallia, but she really didn't do much to deplete her energy. She should be fine. I pushed open the doors, ignored a “Welcome!” from a pink-haired Nurse Joy, and headed straight for the green video-phones. I dialed the number to the Samuel Oak Laboratory of Pokémon Research. This was it.. the moment of truth.

After a few moments of ringing and a panicked look on my face, the screen changed and Professor Oak’s old but still young at heart face appeared. I gulped, unable to hide my fear.

“Pr-Professor Oak! Hi!” I said quickly, my voice a bit high pitched. An amused look appeared on his face.

“Kayla, Kayla, Kayla. No need to worry. I know about the Pokédex. It was yours to begin with, I had just forgotten to place your name onto it. If you had opened up the Dex, you would have seen that it showed all of your trainer information already and you wouldn’t have had to worry. The youth of today amazes me at times..” he trailed off, one of those all-knowing smiles upon his features.

I felt dumbfounded all of a sudden. My mouth hung slightly agape in disbelief. However, realizing that I was still having a video conference with the wise old man, I closed my mouth and nodded in thanks, not knowing what else to say.

“Good luck on your journey.”

With that, I hung up the phone.


I was out again, this time heading out of Viridian City as there was nothing else of interest to me there. On my way out of the northern exit, a balding old man grabbed my arm, making me scream loudly in fear.

“Shush! Why must you hurt the already precious hearing of the Old Man of Viridian? I was just trying to get your attention, young’un!” he shouted in a slightly cracking voice.

“Er, sorry, you just.. startled me,” I mumbled in return.

“Well, it’s fine. Most know me as the Old Man of Viridian to put it plainly, and I teach young’uns like you how to catch Pokémon!”

“I’m sorry, sir, but I already know how to catch Pokémon. My mother has already taught me.”

“Hmmph. Well, I’ve been teachin’ kids like you for years! It’s your loss then. Have fun in the Viridian Forest I suppose,” he replied, with a twinge of bitterness in his voice.

“Thank you, sir.”

I walked on, past the angry old man, and onto the next Route which took me to a yellow brick building. Kallia yipped to urge me forward and so I did. I set my fox upon the tile floor once we entered due to my arms aching, and I watched her slide around the slippery floor.

“Careful, miss, you’d better watch your Vulpix,” the woman who watched over this connector building said.

“Vul vul!” Kallia barked proudly, knowing she was being addressed even if it wasn’t for something particularly good. She fluffed out her six little orange tails for some reason, which would become a habit for her in the future.

I sweat dropped and picked Kallia up once more, patting her head like a good trainer should.

“Erm, where does this lead to?” I asked, pointing at the exit to the building opposite of the one I entered through.

The woman smiled and replied, “The ever so lovely, bug infested Viridian Forest. The exit of the Forest leads to Pewter City, where the Gym Leader is Brock and he specializes in Rock-typed Pokémon.”

I nodded and shouted back a quick “Thanks!” and left the building with Kallia yipping happily in my arms.


11-13-2007, 01:47 AM
I entered the Viridian Forest, shivering slightly at its eeriness. It was quite dark, shadowed by the numerous huge oak and pine trees that seemed to line up as a maze. I sighed. Bugs or forests really weren’t my thing. However, I sucked it up and began to head through the paths. I just wanted to make it out of this foreboding forest as quickly as possible. Kallia trotted by my side as I skillfully wound through the trees, quickly darting past the numerous Bug Catchers. I made sure that even if they saw me, I averted their eyes. I truly wasn’t in the mood for a battle, at least not yet. Unfortunately enough, a tiny pipsqueak of a kid stomped up to her, a net held in on hand and slung over his shoulder. A wide-brimmed hat rested upon his head.

“Hey, I saw you! You’re gonna battle me now, and you are gonna lose!”

I rolled my eyes at his over confidence and replied with a terse, “Fine.”

“Heh, a one on one battle since I, y’know, don’t have more than one Pokémon.”

“Alright, let’s do this,” I replied with a smug smile, stepping back so we could ready ourselves to battle.

“One..” I began.

“Two..” he continued.

“THREE!” we both shouted at the same time. At that very moment, I tossed a red-and-white spherical object into the air and my six-tailed fox appeared from a shining red light. Kallia stood in a crouched position, tails fluffed out and waving in the air.

“Vuuuuuuul!” yipped Kallia, apparently her battle cry.

As soon as the young Bug Catcher tossed his Pokeball out of his bug net, I whipped out my shining blue Pokédex, ready to scan his Pokémon for its data. A very tiny green caterpillar with some sort of red antennae upon its head between its eyes appeared upon the ground, squirming back and forth in anticipation. It gave an odd-sounding cry, though it didn't sound anything like its name. I scanned it in the Dex and a computerized female voice stated, “Caterpie, the caterpillar Pokémon. It is the pre-evolved form of Metapod. It releases a stench from its red antenna to repel enemies. It grows by molting repeatedly.”

“Quick, Caterpie, String Shot!”

This happened before I even had a chance to react. A string of white, nearly silk-like, material shot from its rounded mouth and straight at my attempting to flee Vulpix, whose left hind leg got tangled in the substance.

“Quick Attack!”

I should have known better.. Quick Attack wouldn't nearly have enough speed to strike first due to the String Shot that my fox was feebly attempting to free her leg from. She did perform Quick Attack, though it really was slow for the stickiness of the string made her foot stick to the ground slightly as she dashed towards the caterpillar. She finally hit him with her forepaws and head, though it wasn’t really strong.

“Great job, Caterpie! Tackle it!”

I shook my head, knowing that Vulpix, whom was regaining her speed, would not allow this. The substance finally fell from her leg and she gave a triumphant yip. Even without my command, she dodged the Tackle with ease. Now, she was in the perfect position for an attack..


Kallia crouched down low, tails in the air once more, and shot a steady stream of fire from her mouth to the confused looking Caterpie. The blaze hit the caterpillar who shrieked, looking charred and laying on the ground twitching, fainted, after the fire had ceased. I knew that was all that needed to be done.. Fire-type attacks did twice as much damage to bugs.

“Vul, vulpix!” came Kallia’s excited cheer and she happily dashed towards me, putting her forepaws against my knees and licking my hand. The youth returned his fainted bug with a look of disdain upon his face.

“Had I known you had a Fire-typed Pokémon, I never would have challenged you..” he grumbled miserably as he walked past me. I shrugged at this remarked and picked up my fire fox, holding in my arms like a baby and stroking her belly as she loved.

“You did awesomely, Kallia!”


I was almost out of the forest, thankfully enough. However, I was stopped in my tracks by a rather angry looking Pikachu. It growled slightly, its cheeks sparking and I looked at it amusedly. Obviously it wanted to battle by the way it kept sparking and such.. I set Kallia upon the forest floor and stepped back, and I would give the electric mouse exactly what it wanted: a battle. However, first, I whipped out my Pokédex, pointing it towards the Pikachu and waiting for the data to register.

“Pikachu, the electric mouse Pokémon. It is the evolved form of Pichu. It evolves into Raichu. Pikachu live in forests with others. They stores electricity in the pouches on its cheeks. If they lose crackling power from the electric pouches on their cheeks, they are being wary.”

“PIKAA!” the wild Pokémon yelled, determination shining in its eyes. Kallia got into her battle stance, growled, and readied herself as well. The two stood a fair distance away from each other, determination crackling between their eyes like lightning.

“Now, quick, Ember!” I called to my fox, my voice strong.

With a nod, Kallia obeyed, opening her mouth to send a stream of flames shooting at the yellow mouse. To retaliate, Pikachu shot a Thundershock towards my fire-breathing fox. Both of the attacks collided with a huge BOOM! Huge clouds of smoke erupted through the area, making me cough and choke, closing my eyes tightly. When the dust settled and the smoke was gone, I saw the two Pokémon, both still standing, though both looking weak. They panted and wheezed, having dirt all over their fur from being knocked aside by the force of their attacks. Wow, this was definitely a strong Pikachu.

“Will-o-wisp!” I cried, knowing that this would really help deplete the Pokémon’s health if the battle continued for quite some time.

Kallia shot out a nearly transparent white ring which quavered through the air, hitting a confused at what was happening Pikachu head on. It shuddered as it felt as if it had been hit with a full-blown fire attack, though really it hadn’t. However, it left burn marks all over the yellow fur of the mouse. Pikachu squirmed as the burn caused pain to its entire body. I smiled, though I felt a slight pity for it. Suddenly, the Pikachu seemed to multiply to about thirty of itself, surrounding Kallia in a circle. She looked around, utterly confused.

“Pika!” all of the copies growled at the same time. They all began to run towards Kallia swiftly, using Quick Attack. However, before they hit my baffled Vulpix, the copies disappeared until only the real one was left. Kallia groaned as she slid across the forest floor.

“Get up!” I screeched. “Come on, Kallia, you can’t give up!”

A bit reluctantly, my weary, beat up fox struggled to her feet. Pikachu cringed once more at the stinging from the burns setting in. He began to wobble, dizzy from the pain. He seemed like he was going to topple over..

“Quick Attack for your final blow! Just don't make it faint!” I called, crossing my fingers.

With a nod of determination, Kallia sped towards the Pikachu and hit it once more. While it was in its dazed state, I pulled out my Pokéball and tossed it with such grace and precision that it looked like I had done it a thousand times before.. It disappeared into the Pokéball in a red light and I crossed my fingers. Both myself and my Pokémon waited in extreme anticipation.

Wiggle.. wiggle.. wiggle..


Author’s Note: Wow.. I thought it was by word count.. not character count.. *_* I thought this fell within the Easiest Category. xD Wow. -searches for a new Pokemon to try to capture-

EDIT: Changed to Pikachu. ^_^

11-21-2007, 03:47 AM
Cute Vulpix. :3 Lots of fur. :3 Vixen-like squeals. @3@ Me want a Vulpix!

Story/Plot: Young Kayla (I take it that she's young O_O) wakes up one morning, forgetting something important to her loss. Reminded by her mother, Kayla rushes into the meadows of independence after recalling that her Pokemon journey was to start today. Having gone through several troublesome situations, she encounters a Pikachu with an attitude out of the blue.

The concept of starting as a new Trainer and all isn't all that new, but the story was very well made out. :3 I found it quite awkward when I first read about the encounter with Pikachu, but seeing your note afterwards, I understand the situation. ^3^


Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling: I hardly see any problems here. :3 I coulda sworn I saw one grammar mistake, but it was somewhat minor. I can tell from all the other text surrounding it. o_O

Detail: I'm going to say what I've said to most of the people I've graded today. O_o There is an excellent amount of detail implemented into the story, descriptions and vocabulary alike. Actually, I did like your choice of vocabulary. O_O

One thing I like to comment on is the mood you set up for the readers. :D There appears to be a positive, bright and silly mood to this story, settling up the "moe" and cuteness to how Kayla starts her journey with some unfortunate troubles. :3


Length: You've gone over the normal length by around 4k. :O Better safe than sorry, eh? x3 Or just by coincidence that you wrote that much. ._.

Battle: A generally good battle. :D A nicely compiled, average sized battle with nice descriptions! Since this is for a Pikachu, I suppose I can understand how not many attacks are utilized.

However, I conceal one slight problem. :O It may just be me, but the battles and terms in battle in the story seem to relate more to the Pokemon gaming mechanics, rather than what it would realistically appear as. In other words, the battles are somewhat similar to GameBoy battles, save for the descriptions that saved you. o_O I do not have a problem with that, but in future references, it may be that the battles be a bit more......realistic? x3


Outcome: Pikachu captured! Enjoy your squeaky, yellow, electrical rodent with an attitude! :D

11-21-2007, 08:00 PM
Fwee, thanks! ^___^ I'll try to keep all of things you mentioned in mind when I write Chapter 2. Hmm, I wonder what Pokemon I'll try for next..

11-26-2007, 08:42 PM
Nidorina Night Out!
Word Count:

It was a dark night. I lay in my sky blue sleeping bag, feeling the almost comforting warmth of the humidity against my face. My eyes were set upwards to the sky, the stars brilliant twinkles contrasting with the hues of dark blue that spread throughout the universe. A glimmer of light caught my eye, and I watched as a beautiful shooting star trailed across the night. With a smile, I made my wish..

I wish that my Pokémon grow to be strong and powerful..

The star disappeared almost as soon as it had arrived. It had seemingly comforted me, and now I felt extremely lonely. I propped myself up on one arm and dug through my bag with the other, finding the proper Pokéball and releasing my cuddly little Vulpix. I would release my newly captured Pikachu, whom I had dubbed Rei, but I wasn’t quite sure how he would react. I would wait until morning to begin bonding with my new electric mouse.

“Come here, Kallia,” I cooed. The little fox crawled into my sleeping bag, poking her head out and nuzzling her nose into my cheek. I smiled, holding her tiny body in my arms. “Good night, my little fox..”

She had fallen asleep before I did, but soon after I found myself drifting off...