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gympower
12-14-2007, 02:29 PM
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Dog of Hellsing
12-14-2007, 06:27 PM
Point A- This is the Pokemon General Board. You want the Pokemon URPG Stories Board, which is where you would post a Story made to catch a Pokemon.

Point B- Are you a member of the URPG? If you're not, this isn't even valid, as you need to be a member in order to buy/catch a Pokemon.

Point C- This is not going to be considered a story, sorry. There's no plot, no description, no real battle, and it is WAAAAAY lacking in characters (meaning it's WAAAAAAY too short to catch Gastly). Speaking as a Grader, I can teel you assuredly that this would be an automatic fail and you'd be told to work more on it. A LOT more.

I'll move this and make the appropriate edits to the thread.

*Thread moved.

EDIT: Thread has been moved, and since I'm here I'll now say it as a Grader and not a G-Mod: you need to do a LOT of work on this story. You need a solid plot, you need to add lots od description, you need to have proper grammar and spelling, as well as other things. Also, a Pokemon MUST be captured in a Ball somehow, unless you come up with a really clever way of getting around the PokeBall part. But no matter how you do it, the target Pokemon needs to be captured somehow. Another thing, Gastly is 10-20k I think, and you have much much less than that.

That being said, this really doesn't qualify for a Grade. You can PM/IM me if you want to talk about it more.

gympower
12-14-2007, 08:27 PM
hey im just new tyranitard! you wont like it if you made your 1th story and someone tells you that your story is crap! you ownt like it 2! i do my best!

Phantom Kat
12-14-2007, 08:34 PM
She is not saying your story is bad, she is saying you need a lot of work on it to meet the standards around here. She's only trying to help.

I suggest you work on grammar/spelling, description, and your plot before you make another story or continue with this one. Taking a look at other stories will also help you, especially ones that have already made a capture.

Trust me, my firs story was very bad but you can improve your writing skills by listening to advice, asking questions, and reading other stories. It will help you, alot of people here are nice and helpful.

- Kat

Linoone
12-14-2007, 08:35 PM
If you did your best, you would've done better. I believe you are older than me, and I could write better stories. You need to fix your grammer and spelling and make your stories. That is an easy way to do steps of doing your best. There is a lot more things to do that makes your stories better. I was just naming some.

gympower
12-14-2007, 09:27 PM
im just 10 i cant do this stuff....my dream to be writer when i grow up is gone....sniff...T_T why cant i make good ones? T_T

Jose
12-14-2007, 09:49 PM
im just 10 i cant do this stuff....my dream to be writer when i grow up is gone....sniff...T_T why cant i make good ones? T_T

You will make them just imagine and try to add puntuation try to make the story larger with an battle scene that seems real try to make the reader imagine it with all the descritptions.