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manectrics_shockwave
04-13-2005, 02:23 AM
Ok this is my first story, i messed up my first so uhm here it is
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A Skull In The Forest

It was a bright sunny day in Lilycove City, weather that happened once in a while. There were grayish clouds in the sky but no rain at all. Matt walked out of his house to greet the morning sun wondering what his day will be like today.

Matt’s small one room house was nothing to be proud of, but its all he has right now so he’s not complaining. His house barely fit him in it let alone his electrike too. His house was very small and made from wood. There was a small doggy bed for electrike in Matt’s bedroom right next to his bed. Usually he has to get the pidgey’s off the roof but luckily today they weren’t there.

Matt started to walk away from his house as he went over a checklist of things to do before leaving. The list states
1.Turn off all lights
2.Put electrike in his pokeball
3. Make sure the pidgeys’ didn’t use the house as an out house
4.Lock door
Matt smiled as he walked off knowing that he remembered to do everything today.

Matt was walking then he saw something up in the trees making noise. He crouched down trying to see what it was. He whipped out his binoculars from his back pocket and started to gaze up at the lively tree. He sat there for about 5 minutes staring at that tree determined to know what was up there when a skull popped up in his binoculars. Matt screamed and went running away from whatever it was. He was running fast while looking behind him wondering what was back in the hazy forest when he runs right into a tree.

Matt fell to the ground and got knocked out.
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To be continued

manectrics_shockwave
04-13-2005, 02:41 AM
this is continued from the first part:
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A Skull in The Forest (PART 2)


Matt laid there for about 10 minutes until some water fell on his face.

“What? It’s raining, how long was I out for, and what was that skull I saw?” Matt said.

Matt rose to his feet, brushed himself off, and reached for electrikes pokeball.

“Electrike, Go!” Matt screamed as electrike appeared out of the pokeball.

Matt commanded electrike to follow him and electrike did as told.

Matt and electrike were wondering through the forest. Matt was scared stiff hoping he doesn’t see that skull again, and electrike was prancing around happily like he didn’t have a care in the world.

Matt took electrike up to where he saw the skull and he waited, ready to battle whatever was out there. Matt then had the feeling that he was being watched so he turned around and he saw the skull again.

Matt then realized that that was a duskull. He didn’t mind getting scared by it now because not only was it one of his favorite pokemon, but he could catch it and it would be his first pokemon he caught by himself.

So matt looked down at electrike and asked, “Do you think we can take on this duskull.”

Electrike sent back a big yelp and Matt got ready to battle.

Matt screamed out, “Electrike, I choose you!” and electrike ran right out there growling.

Matt looked at the duskull and thought, “How am I going to pull this off, this is my first battle, oh well I have to do this,”
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To be continued….

manectrics_shockwave
04-13-2005, 02:58 AM
continued from part 2
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A Skull in the forest (PART 3)

Matt yelled out, “electrike start things off with a THUNDER!”

The duskull moved out of the way of the thunder right before it hit. The thunder attack made a huge crater in the ground.

AsMatt was sobbing thinking of what wonderful damage that thunder would have done he looked over and the duskull was about to use a pursuit attack on my electrike.

“Electrike dodge it!” Matt said but electrike got nailed by it.

“Electrike use a BITE attack!” Matt screamed as electrike opened his jaw ready to clamp down on duskull.

Electrikes bite was successful and did a lot of damage to the duskull.

By that time the duskull was down and almost fainted but it rose back up ready to fight some more.

Duskull then came launching at electrike with another pursuit.

“Electrike dodge it!” MAtt screamed as the almost fainted pokemon tried to use another attack on electrike.

Luckily thought electrike dodged it in time and duskull missed and crashed into a tree.

While duskull was laying on the ground barely moving Matt threw a round pokeball at it and the ghostly pokemon sucked right in it.

It shook once, then twice, then three time, and then.....
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ready to be graded now!

Syas
04-13-2005, 03:19 AM
While duskull was laying on the ground barely moving Matt threw a round pokeball at it and the ghostly pokemon sucked right in it.

You can't just automatically catch a pokemon. Please read the rules on writing capture stories. Once you write a story, a Story Grader will decide whether or not you catch the pokemon you wanted to.

manectrics_shockwave
04-13-2005, 03:23 AM
ok sorry forgot about that

Syas
04-13-2005, 03:27 AM
Not a problem, just a friendly reminder :pirate:

I am sure a grader will see this soon :bandit:

Good luck with your capture :ninja:

manectrics_shockwave
04-13-2005, 03:28 AM
Not a problem, just a friendly reminder :pirate:

I am sure a grader will see this soon :bandit:

Good luck with your capture :ninja:

thank you for the luck, i hope i did it right :smile: but if not then i will be mad at my english teacher for teaching me nothing.

Tamer San
04-13-2005, 10:42 AM
And actually, a grader DID see this ^^

Story- Nothing special, not an interesting plot and no details and no length. Duskull is kindda rare, he needs a lot more effort of you manectrics_shockwave if you want him captured.

Grammer- Yep, I noticed some stuff here and there...

AsMatt Needs spacing.
electrike Needs capitalizing(Sp?)

And such...

Battle- WAY too short...

OUTCOME- Not captured, in a very short lengthed Story.

Tips: Lengthen your story, think of a good plot and add lots of details to make this piece more beautiful. You can also always use a program to check on grammer and spelling mistakes to avoide them in here and to get higher grades. Sorry for this time, and I wish ya better luck and actually...a better story...next time ^^

manectrics_shockwave
04-13-2005, 12:47 PM
Ok, ill do better next time thanx for the advice though.