View Full Version : A Snow Tale(Grade Please)
04-16-2005, 12:19 AM
After Paul let Trapinch go since it didn't listen to him, Wattson gave him his Sandshrew he caught as a gift for loosing the other Pokemon.
So with a new team mate Paul set off to Verdanturf Town to train where he doen't expect this.
When Paul gets to Verdanturf, there was The Snow Festival. That is when they try to get all the Ice Pokemon they can get to come play with and people try to catch some of them.
When Paul went to the main part of the Snow Festival, he found so many Ice Pokemon, it seemed that he could try to catch one.
There was a croud around a place called the Worst Ice Pokemon.
He pushed through some people and saw a Snorunt against a Treecko.
Even when Snorunt had the advantage, he couldn't beat the Treecko.
When it tried a Blizzard, it couldn't even make it to the Treecko. So Treecko went in and hurt it bad.
Paul asked "Why is everyone triing to hurt the Snorunt?"
One of the people said "Didn't you read the sign? Even a Magikarp can beat it."
"But it probably still a baby." Paul said.
"Why stick up for it" the guy said. "Hey Fred, we have a kid who cares about that wimpy Pokemon!"
A guy named Fred comes over and says "Do you want to make something about this?"
"But, why tortore it when it can't stick up for itself?" Paul says in cofusement.
"Fine lets turn this into a battle" Fred said. "Lets make it 4 vs. 4."
Paul says "But I don't have 4 Pokemon, I only have 3."
"Fine you can use that wimpy Snorunt that you think is so "strong". Fred says triing to make himself sound cool.
"Alright" Paul says sticking up for himself. "I can do that."
Fred says laughing "You better have a miracle to beat me. I don't think you will be able to beat my Pokemon."
"Fine lets start now!" Paul says calling Snorunt. "Snorunt come here and help me beat these jerks!"
The Snorunt starts coming over and seems like it has a friend.
Will Paul be able to beat Fred? Will Snorunt come through and help beat Fred?
You will find out soon.
Every battle for this (1 vs 1) will have its own page.
04-16-2005, 12:28 PM
Now, there was a match between Paul and Fred.
It was a 4 vs. 4 battle, but Paul didn't have 4 Pokemon, so he is using the Snorunt that cant do any good attacks.
A ref came over to us and said, "This is a 4 on 4 battle with no time limit. Let the battle begin!"
"Ok, lets start off with my Skiploom!" Fred said.
When the Skiploom came out of the ball, it had gotten up into the air by using its petals on the top of its head. It seemed to be cheerful but not for long.
"Since it is Grass/Flying, I will use my Steelix!" Paul said.
When Pauls Steelix came out, everyone had to move back a little since it was so huge and long. Fred's Skiploom looked a little frightened by it, but Fred didn't care.
"You think that the behemoth will scare us? Then you got another thing coming!" Fred siad.
"I think this will be over quickly." Paul said. Steelix use a Rock Throw!"
"Skiploom use your Solar Beam!" Fred said.
As soon as Steelix heard the command, he hit his massive tail to the ground and hit it really hard and boulders started to go over Steelix's head over to Skiplooms. While Skiploom was gaining energy still the rocks fell over her and she gotted smushed, but as soon as the rocks fell over her she realesed the energy from Solar Beam and all the rocks broke into little pieces and scattered everywhere. Skiploom had to be exhausted.
"Steelix, finish this off with a Sandstorm!"
"Skiploom use a Giga Drain!"
When each heard there commands, Steelixs body started spinning around and sand brewed everywhere.
But, when Skiploom used a Giga Drain, a lot of little green orbs flew over to Steelix and tried to take its damage.Since Steelix was still spinning with the sandstorm, it only got a couple of green orbs into him to suck the enrgy out of Steelix. It returned to Skiploom and it seemed that it got like a power bost.
The Sand Storm attacked Skiploom and hurt it it just a bit.
They both said "Lets finish this!"
Paul said "Take Down!"
Fred siad "Solar Beam!"
While Skiploom once again tried to gain energy, Steelix got the chance and started rushing over to Skiploom. With it going so fast and and with all its weight, it should make Skiploom faint.
Steelix charged into Skiploom and it looked like it hit in it her weak spot, but Solar Beam was done and Skiploom released the energy into Steelixs face.
They both were knocked out.
"This match is a draw, next Pokemon!" the ref said.
Will fred or Paul Win? You will know soon!
04-16-2005, 01:52 PM
"I choose you Ivysaur!" Fred said.
Paul remarks "Another Grass Pokemon?"
"They don't call me the Grass Master for nothing". Fred remarks.
"Alright I choose you Sandshrew!"
The ref commands "Let the battle Begin!"
"Ivysaur use a Razor Leaf!" Fred commands his Grass Pokemon.
"Sandshrew use a Dig!"
Ivysaur launches a whole bunch of sharp leaves at Sandshrew. But, before they hit, Sandshrew makes it underground.
"Ivysaur stand your grounds, it can pop out anywhere!"
Ivysaur looked like it was ready if Sandshrew popped out from under it.
"Now" Paul says loudly so Sandshrew can here him.
Sandshrew popped out if front of him and jumped into the air for an attack.
"Now do your Poisin Sting and go into a spinning formation!"
Sandshrew started spinning in the air like Paul said and launched Poisin stings everywhere so Ivysaur would get hit whereever he went.
"Now use your Slash!" Paul commanded!
"Ivysaur use a Razor Leaf!"
As soon as Sandshrew got close for a Slash attack, Ivysaur shot a bunch of leaves into Sandshrews face.
Sandshrew fell onto the ground and looked helpless.
"Now use a Tackle!" Fred said.
Ivysaur charged into Sandshrew and made it look like it can't go on.
"Sandshrew is unable to battle Ivysaur wins." the ref said. "Paul use your next Pokemon."
"Alright go Mareep!" Paul said getting a little edgy.
"Ivysaur try the move we have been practicing. EarthQuake!"
"Mareep watch out and try a Thunder!"
But, it was too late, Ivysaur jumped into the air and landed hard. It made everything shake and Mareep couldn't get in a Thunder.
Mareep is unconsious.
"Mareep is unable to battle. Paul use your final Pokemon."
"Oh lets see this Snorunt in action!" Fred said laughing.
Will Paul be able to beat 3 more Pokemon with a useless Pokemon? Will Snorunt come through? You will find out.
04-16-2005, 02:16 PM
"Ok go Snorunt!"
Snorunt ran onto the battle feild and looked like it would win.
"Since you only got a wimpy Pokemon left, I will only use 2 instead of 3.
"Return Ivysaur and go Roselia!"
A Pokemon with a Rose looked around and thought were it was.
"I just caught this Pokemon and it ain't that good so you MIGHT have a chance. And besides it doesn't listen to me so good for you." Fred said.
"Snorunt I trust you, try a Ice Beam!"
"Roselia try a Stun Spore!"
Snorunt looked confused and tried an Ice Beam. It ried hard and it shot it half way to Roselia.
But when Roselia attacked, it only did a Magical Leaf.
The leafs went right into Snorunt and knocked it down.
"Snorunt belive in me and do a Ice Beam!" Paul said getting worried.
Snorunt got up and tryied to focus and shot another Ice Beam, but this time, it hit Roselia! It knocked it out in one shot.
"Wow that has a bit of power but it won't be able to beat this!" Fred remarked "GO"
Fred threw a Pokeball and revealed a Meganium!
"This is my strongest Pokemon, try to beat this."
Snorunt looked a little scared but it didn't give up.
"Meganium use a Solar Beam!"
"No" Paul said. "Snorunt try a blizzard!"
"Runt" it said.
Snorunt breathed in real hard and shot a blizzard but couldn't control it. Instead of hitting Meagnium it hit a Smoochum out in the crowd.
"No Snorunt wrong way. You have to belive in me." Paul said.
"Now realse your power Meganium!" Fred said hoping to win.
"Meg" it said.
Meganium realesed the bright power into Snorunt. Snorunt fell into the snow.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Paul said thinking it was over.
But suddenly Snorunt started to glow. Snorunt was evolving. All of a sudden there was a big Ice Ball in the air.
"No way" Paul and Fred said.
"Glalie" it said.
"This just might work now" Paul said.
"Glalie use a Sheer Cold!" Paul said.
"No Meganium use a Razor Leaf!" Fred said angrly.
Glalie breathed in and then started to get bigger. But while he was doing that, Megaium shot out razor sharp leaves to Glalie.
"Now!!" Paul said.
Glalie took out all the energy it had right into the Razor Leaves and broke them and went straight into Meganium.
"Meganium is unable to battle, Paul wins the match!" the ref announced.
"How can I lose?" Fred said.
"Well it was fun with you Glalie, but I have to go." Paul said.
"Gla" it said catching up to Paul.
"You want to go with me?" Paul asked.
"Alright I got a Glalie!" Paul said.
With a new Pokemon, Paul went off to expolre the world.
04-16-2005, 06:23 PM
Er... how can this be graded? There's no capture. You don't need to post a story if your Pokémon evolve either...
04-16-2005, 06:32 PM
Well,if he catch a pokèmon in this story,he can have him
04-16-2005, 06:37 PM
I did. Glalie wanted to come along so I caught it.
04-16-2005, 06:43 PM
I did. Glalie wanted to come along so I caught it.
It's way too short for Glalie, plus you said you caught it... but you have to acctaully have a capture sequence and battle Glalie yourself...
04-16-2005, 06:44 PM
Fine I will just delete this then since it is all wrong. :susp: :dazed:
04-16-2005, 06:47 PM
You evolved your pokèmon.This isn't all wrong,but here you write stories for catching pokèmon,not for evolving yours.
If you now in this story battle a pokèmon,you can get a pokèball and captur it.
04-16-2005, 07:46 PM
Actually, it wasn't his Pokémon. Read the story next time... :susp:
Don't delete it... just don't say you captured it.
Jack of Clovers
04-18-2005, 02:23 AM
the plot is very sketchy. especially the reasoning to why Fred wants to battle Paul.
some comma mistakes and many small errors. i suggest using MSWord to Spell Check and Grammer Check your story. it will help.
not much. you don't describe the Ice Festival at all. what is there? what does it look like? what about Fred and his freinds, what do they look like? descriptions are very important and help make sense of the story. maybe use more detail to describe why Fred wants to battle Paul.
you did not battle for Snorunt/Glalie which is a recommendation in any URPG story. (with few execption). the battle with Fred was ok but i didn't believe that the "weakest" Pokemon who was battling Treecko earliear could beat two Pokemon, especially Fred's strongest. didn't the sign say a Magikarp can beat it?
a Pokemon festival that allows this kind of behavoir toward Pokemon... i dunno about that.
more descriptions and add more to the story. the start of the story seems like a summary... fill in the gaps. also, you need to battle Snorunt/Glalie somehow in order to catch it. it can't just decide for it to go with you. also, for an evolved form, the story isn't long enough. add descriptions and a battle and you may get there.
Outcome- Glalie Not Captured!
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