View Full Version : Mystery Island

04-18-2005, 11:05 PM
Jason had thought about this during the whole trip. It was a message which reached him in a dream just a night ago, just before he was brutally torn apart in that same dream. The dream to meet some amazing Pokemon. As Jason stood at the steering wheel at the helm of their boat, he stared across the horizon of the sea. The sun was setting, combining a deep orange hue with the now-blackness of the ocean floor. The boat continued to speed along, cutting through the calm waves like a hot knife through butter. He looked into his reflection into the crisp blue ocean water. Jason had a blue cap on with brown flowing hair. He wore a black t-shirt and a light jacket.

Jason removed a set of papers from his jacket pocket. They had contained a bit of research in which Jason had done back in Rustboro. They hinted toward an island, which was pretty far off. The trip was boring Jason had sit at the front of the boat the whole trip. The rest of the trip was rather uneventful. It took another night since the one before to finally arrive. The boat continued to pave its way toward the island.

It was the late afternoon when they had finally spotted land. Across the horizon, he could see a small clearing surrounded by a lush and dark forest. Jason immediately steered the boat toward it.

He had landed on the Island.

The two quickly jumped off the railing and onto the rickety dock. Below him, he could hear as the waves shook the dock and crashed against the rocky floor underneath. Jason used a long, thick rope and tied the small boat to the edge of the pier. They had then moved across the dock and stepped onto the grassy meadow, where he faced an endless stream of forest, which seemingly glowed in the dark orange hue of the sunset above.

"So, what now?" Kiru asked.

Kiru was a tall, skinny blonde headed girl the same age as me. She has always been my friend since we were kids.

"Well, I think it would be in our best interest to wait till tomorrow morning, huh?" Jason said. "We don’t know what's out there, and it would be better to face it after a good nights rest. We could set up camp out here, it does seem pretty nice. And we can pig out on whatever food we've got in the boat, and give us the strength for the day ahead."

"Cool! I'll get the stuff!" Kiru said happily as she ran back toward the boat.

Jason stood on the grassy floor, staring at the forest. That's where they would be heading the next day, into completely unknown territory. Jason's hair and jacket seemed to flow from him in the soft breeze of the ocean shore. Suddenly Jason heard a noise behind him.

"Hey." was all it said, calmly and patiently.

Jason turned his head toward a boy, his body still facing the forest. "Yeah, what?"

"What’s your name, stranger?” “Jason, and what’s your name?”I replied. “Well my name is Derrick and I live on this island with my Pokemon.” He said. “Ah Pokemon eh is there any rare Pokemon around in this area I am looking for some it’s the reason I came here?” I asked. “Haven’t seen any rare ones but their could be some, so you want to battle?” He asked confidently. “Sure how about best of two battles sound?” I asked

04-21-2005, 10:19 PM
Jason turned his back toward Derrick and took a couple of steps into the grassy clearing. Although Jason was too prideful to admit it, Derrick's words struck him in every sense of the word. He crossed his arms and took a deep breath. He then glanced toward his jacket, "Not today." he thought. Jason's hand reached into his jacket pocket.

"Derrick, I wholeheartedly accept your challenge." he said as he drew forth a Pokéball.

Derrick grinned at Jason. At that moment, Kiru had run back toward them, carrying a couple of large bags over her shoulders. "So Jason, you ready to set up?" Kiru asked.

"Not yet, Kiru. How would you like to referee our battle?" Jason asked.

"What?! You two are gonna battle?! No way!" Kiru dropped her bags as her jaw dropped to the floor.

"Believe it or not, it’s true." Jason said.

Jason and Derrick took their positions across from each other on the grassy clearing. The sky had turned a hazy purple as it began to cross over into night break. Kiru stood near the edge of the forest, near the middle of the grassy arena.

"Alright guys! This'll be a two on two battle! First to win two rounds wins the battle!" Kiru shouted. She had done the referee thing before, and was clearly versed in the responsibilities the position held. "Derrick, as the challenger, you choose your first Pokémon!"

"Gladly! Get ready Jason! I'll show you a battle that you'll never forget!" he shouted as he tossed his Pokéball into the ring. "Primeape, go!" he yelled with enthusiasm.

In a bright flash which illuminated the dark clearing, the hopping form of Primeape appeared in front of Derrick, eager to begin its rampage upon Jason's Pokémon.

"Primeape..." Jason thought. Jason gripped his Pokéball. "Here we go then..." he said as he tossed his own Pokéball into the arena...

"It's time, Gardevoir!" Jason yelled as he tossed his Pokéball into the arena. Gardevoir appeared in a flash of light, her bright, red eyes fixated on the edgy Primeape opposite of her. Her tall, slender body stood proudly as she grinned at the Primeape, as if trying to say, "A Fighter? Come on Jason, is this some kind of joke?"

"Wow Jason! I didn’t know your Kirlia evolved!" Kiru shouted across the grassy field. Jason, acknowledging her statement, gave Kiru a quick smile and nod, then turned back toward his opponent. "Gardevoir versus Primeape! Begin Round One!"

"A Psychic-type, huh? We can handle that, cant we Primeape?" Derrick pulled his brown hair back as he mentioned toward his own Pokémon. Primeape continued to hop up and down like a hyperactive child. It then began to glare at the opposing Gardevoir with a look of vengeance, as if the very sight of a Psychic Pokémon made it even madder.

Gardevoir, you know what to do." Jason thought. Gardevoir nodded. Kiru and Derrick stared blankly at the pair, wondering if the nod was perhaps a nervous twitch. Gardevoir then raised its arms and closed its eyes. Just then, the scenery around them melted from a dark, nighttime blue to a shimmering crimson. Kiru and Derrick shook their heads wildly as reality itself seemed to twist and turn into this horrific image, as if they had been transported into a dark night. The forest behind them, as well as the ground below began to shine brightly. It was about to use Psychic.

04-21-2005, 10:44 PM
Suddenly Gardevoir shot out a ray of light from its head, its fingers were pressing down hard on its forehead. The light shot straight towards Primeape’s head going for its mind.

“Ha this is nothing.” Jason said.

Primeape tried to dodge the attack but was unsuccessful; Primeape quickly fell hard to the ground. Gardevoir then released its fingers from its head as in acting like it was the easiest battle she had been in.

“I thought you were strong.” Jason said. “My Primeape, you’ll pay for this!” Derrick shouted.

Jason slowly chuckled to himself as he pocketed the Pokéball. "Oh you'll see her again, count on it, my dear." he said in a sly and confident voice. "Well looks like fear won that battle for you, Derrick. But don’t count on any such tricks this time..." he said as he drew forth another Pokéball, which he tossed into the ring, "Go Skarmory!"

The shining, metallic form of the steel bird Skarmory materialized above the field. "Skaaaaaaar!" it screeched into the night sky. Its sharp beak then pointed itself down in Derrick's position as it anticipated its next foe.

"Hmph!" Derrick grumbled to himself. "Skarmory, huh? Well in that case, Feraligatr, I choo..Huh?"

Derrick's declaration was interrupted by a sudden sight from afar. A few yards from behind Jason's position, he could see two small creatures poking from the ground from beneath a small bush. As Derrick focused his eyes, he could make out the creatures. They were tiny, furry and brown mole creatures. Derrick recognized them immediately. They were Diglett's, perhaps coming to the surface to watch the entertaining battle. Just then, Jason came over towards the Digletts.

“I want one of these Digletts, let’s postpone this battle till I capture one of these.” I said.

“Grr, your just postponing your loss, hurry up and capture it.” Derrick shouted.

Skarmory let’s get one of these Digletts.” I said.

The tiny form Diglett formed from beneath the ground below, which immediately popped itself to the surface. Skarmory took to the ground, landing with a small thud using its sharp, iron talons. Skarmory then peered at the tiny Pokémon below him.

"Huh..." Jason muttered as he smiled. "Hey Skarm, remember that game we played at the Mauville Arcade? You always seemed to have a way and beat me, remember?" he said happily. With a cheerful look on his face, Skarmory turned and smiled toward Jason, "Skar Skar!"

In a flash, Skarmory widened its broad, metallic wings and took to the air. Immediately, Skarmory dived toward Diglett's position, hoping to scoop it up from out of the ground using its beak. Diglett hastily ducked itself back into the ground just as Skarmory nearly landed. Skarmory then flew back and around toward the same position as Diglett reappeared from another hole. Skarmory, catching sight at the spot in which it emerged, prepared another dive toward Diglett. Diglett however, dove back beneath the ground as Skarmory climbed back into the sky to repeat the process.

"Skarmory, I dont think that's gonna work..." Jason yelled the suggestion as Skarmory was still high above the ground. Skarmory, hearing his trainer's call, dove back toward the ground and landed again with a thud. The speedy Diglett, having created many holes from its evasions earlier, ducked in and out of random ones around Skarmory's standing position as Skarmory himself moved its beak rapidly, trying to focus on its position.

"Its too fast..." Jason thought to himself. "I'd hate to break his game plan, but... Skarmory! Pick a hole and keep jabbing away at it!" While Skarmory acknowledged Jason's statement, he continued to focus on Diglett. Eventually, Skarmory picked the hole closest to him and its long, silvery neck dove itself toward it...

"Gotcha!" Jason exclaimed happily. Skarmory managed to catch Diglett just as it emerged from the hole, the Mole Pokémon wiggling furiously while in the grasp of the bird. "Great job Skarm! Now toss it into the air!" Skarmory obeyed the command and swung his neck toward the sky, releasing the tiny, helpless mole into the wide air.

Jason, Kiru and Derrick gasped as this happened. This was truly a sight to behold, as most people have never seen what a Diglett looks like from underneath. Diglett's flying body revealed a set of increadibly sharp and serrated claws underneath its oval shaped form. There appeared to be about eight long, hook-like feelers stretching from beneath the body like a spider. The swung around rapidly as Diglett began to fall back toward the earth.

"That...is...disturbing..." Jason thought. "Skarmory! Shoot it down with Swift!"

04-22-2005, 02:12 AM
Skarmory opened its mouth and let loose a stream of star-shaped particles toward the falling Diglett. Despite its small stature, the projectiles struck true. "Dig! Dig! Dig!" the Diglett squealed as it took the hits head-on. Fainted and exhausted, Diglett then continued falling to the ground...

Just then, something trailed past Jason from underneath. Two trails of upturned earth zoomed past his feet and into the battlefield. They moved with lightning-speed toward the position in which Diglett was to land. At the very same spot where the Diglett fell toward, a circle of earth began to turn itself over. The falling Diglett then fell into the now softened-dirt with a quiet but dusty thud.

Jason, Kiru, Derrick and Skarmory stared for moments down toward the large hole which had just been formed in the middle of the ring. Jason was wondering what had just happened. Jason assumed that battle was over. Diglett's normally have very poor constitution, known for its inability to take attacks, instead using speed and the cover of ground to battle its foes.

Just then, however, the ground exploded with a burst of light, which illuminated the field. The onlookers continued to stare and gasp. "What’s going on?" Jason and Kiru thought.

The light died down, and Jason jumped back at the sight of what had just emerged. The Diglett's had emerged, the Diglett looked refreshed and ready for more then looked angrily and vengeful toward Skarmory, who continued to peer curiously at the Diglett.

Skarmory nodded at the command. It then rose slightly into the air, and in an instant, completely disappeared. The Diglett shifted around the field intently, but could not find a trace of Skarmory. In the next moment, Diglett was struck by an intense slash of wind, causing great pain to its frail bodies, which then fainted in unison. In that same moment, Skarmory reappeared in the exact same position it had risen from.

“That should do it.” Yelled Jason.

But it wasn’t over Diglett shot out of the ground and forced several large boulders towards Skarmory. The rocks fell onto Skarmory knocking it onto the ground. It was unable to move.

“Nooo, Skarmory, it’s not over yet Diglett, go Pokeball.” I screamed.

Jason threw out his Pokeball, and out came Jason’s Weepinbell. Its mouth was opening and closing.

“Now Weepinbell use your Vine Whip attack.” I commanded.

Suddenly out popped two long vines from Weepinbell it began to swing its vines towards the hole Diglett was in. But Diglett began to pop in and out of all of the holes that were dug through out this long battle. Weepinbell was starting to get tired but finally the two vines struck Diglett on the head. As it was attack Diglett leaped out of the fresh dirt and let out a fierce Slash attack onto Weepinbell.

“Weepinbell hang in there, use another Vine Whip!” I screamed.

The two vines reappeared from Weepinbell and quickly struck Diglett in the body, Diglett was getting tired suddenly Diglett let out a giant glass shattering scream, it was using Screech.

“Hurry Weepinbell finish it off with Razor Leaf!” I shouted.

Six leaves shot out of Weepinbell’s back and shot straight towards Diglett thumping it on the head. It quickly fell back and onto its back.

“Now I have you, go Pokeball.” I shouted.

Jason took out the red and white ball and threw it on Diglett and it was quickly sucked up into the tiny ball, was it captured?

Daniella Defines Divinity
04-22-2005, 02:09 PM
Story- It was pretty good, not oustanding, but good. The battle with the other trainer was a nice touch.

Reality- Seemed pretty realistic, I quite liked the description of the digglet underneath the earth, although it fainted and then was completely rejuvinated but by what I was wondering XP

Spelling/Grammer- You changde from third person to first person a bit, at first you were saying "Jason had brown hair" etc which is third person, and then switchiing to "She had alway's been MY friend" which is first person. You need to stick to one narrative point all the way through, or make it more clear when you're going to make a change like that

Battle- The length seemed fine, and I expect that from the better type, although that fainting thing was a little weird, I don't reccomend using it for catches

OUTCOME- Caught, it was a good story, but it could have been better. Take note of my comments, and try experimenting a little and see what happens ^_^