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Full_Metal_Al
02-21-2008, 12:23 AM
Okay, this time i will try to catch a much weaker pokemon, and when someone grades it can you just say cought or not cought, dont bother telling me whats wrong with my story, chances are already know it, and i cant help (bad spelling and grammar) just read my story:

The trainer walked through the tall the grass, he had lost the beldum with the shiny eye, but he didn't care, he knew he would get one sooner or later, and a much cooler one at that.. He felt something run by his foot, he looked down and a small pink ball ran by, he thought it was a jigglypuff, he then saw the yellow ears, it was a Whismur! Whismur itself was a pretty worthless pokemon, and anoying at that, but it evolved into Exploud, wich was one of his favorite pokemon... He threw the Abra Pokeball this time it came out, it yawn barely awake, and looked up at the trainer as if saying "Why are you sending me out agian, I can't fight?"

"Okay Abra! lets go! its weak you can beat it!" the whismur heard this and started to 'cry' loudly, the Abra covered its ears. It set there for a while neither pokemon moving, only whismur crying and abra ignoreing it.. at last the abra ran over to the whismur and kicked it. the whismur stopped crying and then jumped on to the abra. The abra freaked out trying to get it off, wtcahing the two hopeless pokemone basicaly fighting over who was the weaker, he noticed that if he ever hoped to be a good traine he would have to work really well together with the abra, or he might as well be fighting the pokemon..

"ABRA! TELEPORT NOW! APPEAR RIGHT ABOVE IT!" the abra looked at him from under the clinging whismur, then vanished, befor the whismur could even hit the ground tha abra had appeared above it and grabed it.
"Good! You know what to do! Teleport up in the air with the Whismur, not to high though!" then abra nodded and vanished along with the whismur. it appeared about 15 feet of the ground and droped it.. the whismur hit the grounded and started 'crying' loudly when the abra landed, the Whismur used uproar right at abra, the blast of sound sent the abra flying into a tree. at this piont the young abra started to cry as well... the trainer whom was in total shock at the two pokemon, walked over too it and patted it on the head
"Okay Abra, do you think you can Teleport behind it? The sound only comes from the front, if your behind him, he cant hurt you!" The little black and silver Abra looked up while whipeing tears from it's eyes. It jerked its head towards the Whismur

"ABRA!" Then the little black creature teleported, the Whismur failed to notice it appeared behind the Whismur and grabbed it by the ears, and started pulling back on them, the Whismur did not like this and started trying to Escape, it was Makeing vey loud noises and this was hurting the abar somewhat.. but it didnt care, it used teleport agian and appeared about 15 feet of the ground with the whismyr, droped it and teleported back to the ground. The trainer notice the Whismur was hurt badly enough to be cought, if he was lucky! he pulled out a pokeball, and threw it the whismer disappeared into the ball, the ball started to move back and forth and finaly it..

okay did it brake free, or did it get cought? tell me? sorry i couldnt spell check i have to do that by hand, and my dad REALLy wants be tu get of the computer, i will spell check it later, lol..

The Jr Trainer
02-21-2008, 04:12 AM
Err, this isn't long/good enough for a Whismur. Whismur is in the simple category, so it needs 5,000 - 10,000 characters, and a basic plot, an okay amount of detail, a short, but no too short battle and a small introduction of the characters of the said story. If you just work on that you will have success in the future. Let me link you to a few things to help you better understand what you should aim for in your writing...

[anything underlined is a link]

All of the links under can be found here. (http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8445) ^^;

Tutorial #1 (http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/forum/showpost.php?p=203126&postcount=2), #2 (http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/forum/showpost.php?p=203127&postcount=3), #3 (http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/forum/showpost.php?p=203138&postcount=4) ~ all those can help you better your writing skills and help you succeed in writing, just take your time to read them. Maybe even print them out? :D

Categories for writing (http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/forum/showpost.php?p=744134&postcount=6) ~ this can just help you understand the guidelines set for each category in the URPG writing section. :]

List (http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/forum/showpost.php?p=744134&postcount=7)/another list (http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/forum/showpost.php?p=962873&postcount=8) ~ these are lists of the Pokemon able to capture; they are seperated into easy to find lists in there, just make sure you pay attention to what you're writing for and what is expected for it. ^^;

And one last thing... a character counter (http://www.javascriptkit.com/script/script2/charcount.shtml) ~ easy to use character counter. Just copy and paste your story in the box and click "calculate characters."

That would be all I can help you with as of now, if you want to learn/know more about URPG writing drop me a PM. I'm always open to help. ^^

Full_Metal_Al
02-21-2008, 04:47 PM
Err, this isn't long/good enough for a Whismur. Whismur is in the simple category, so it needs 5,000 - 10,000 characters, and a basic plot, an okay amount of detail, a short, but no too short battle and a small introduction of the characters of the said story. If you just work on that you will have success in the future. Let me link you to a few things to help you better understand what you should aim for in your writing...

[anything underlined is a link]

All of the links under can be found here. (http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8445) ^^;

Tutorial #1 (http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/forum/showpost.php?p=203126&postcount=2), #2 (http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/forum/showpost.php?p=203127&postcount=3), #3 (http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/forum/showpost.php?p=203138&postcount=4) ~ all those can help you better your writing skills and help you succeed in writing, just take your time to read them. Maybe even print them out? :D

Categories for writing (http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/forum/showpost.php?p=744134&postcount=6) ~ this can just help you understand the guidelines set for each category in the URPG writing section. :]

List (http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/forum/showpost.php?p=744134&postcount=7)/another list (http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/forum/showpost.php?p=962873&postcount=8) ~ these are lists of the Pokemon able to capture; they are seperated into easy to find lists in there, just make sure you pay attention to what you're writing for and what is expected for it. ^^;

And one last thing... a character counter (http://www.javascriptkit.com/script/script2/charcount.shtml) ~ easy to use character counter. Just copy and paste your story in the box and click "calculate characters."

That would be all I can help you with as of now, if you want to learn/know more about URPG writing drop me a PM. I'm always open to help. ^^
ohh. but its like the third weakist pokemon in S?R that is wierd... i will look for something easy to catch, because i need a pokemon that can do more then teleport, but onix syther beldum and.. well megnemite might be easy to ctach? ill see

EDIT: im about 2000 characters short... man...