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View Full Version : Story Deal with JesusofMagikarps: Pokemon Mystery Dungeon, Team Quiksilver


SuperSmashBrawl
04-30-2008, 12:55 AM
OOC: Two notes. 1st, this is my first story deal of the month. 2nd, I recieved permission from these 5 forum members to include them in my story: The Jr. Trainer(Squirtle), JesusofMagikarps(Magikarp), Leman(Zapdos), Sigma(Pidgeot), Crazy(Cranidos) and Fire Away(Ralts). Note, this story takes place on a MMORPG, so usernames and AIM chats will be included in this story.

Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Team Quiksilver

Four friends were on the computer chatting. These friends would normally never be seen together, as they come from different crowds at school. The first, username: "HeartofShadows", was Sally. You could call her an Emo. She wore her jet-black hair so her bangs cover one of her eyes. She was frequently seen wearing an all-black ensemble and always carried her treasured playing cards. The "It Girl" of the group, Amber, went by the username "Amberishere<3" and was frequently seen with a mirror in her hand. She had blonde hair, and wore a pink t-shirt and blue jeans. Her most valuable possesion is a special pendant she recieved from her grandma.

The two guys in the group would've been friends, but they never talked with each other. Zachary, "Broncos_rock!" was his screename, he was a member of the football team. He usually wore an orange Denver Broncos jersey and was always seen with his Broncos football. Then of course, there is me. Brown hair, styled into a fauxhawk. I wear unbottoned shirts over t-shirts. My jeans match my blue shoes. I'm kind of average and go by the username of "Strwbrry Eggos." Oh yeah, my name is Tyler by the way. My favorite object, are my headphones that can download songs directly from Itunes, cool right?

Anyways, now that the introductions are out of the way, let me explain how we became friends. It started a month ago. You, of course, know that there is a Pokemon forum called "PokemonElite2000." We were all members of that forum, our usernames were similar to our AIM names. We all participated in the Ultra Role-playing game, URPG for short. We would battle each other like crazy. One day, Sally and I were assigned as science partners. I went to her house so we could work on the project. I was kind of a surprise and stumbled in on her while she was on the forum. We became instant friends, and soon, we discovered Amber and Zach's secret. This whole adventure started in a URPG battle over AIM. The four of us were in a chat room. Of course, there was a referee there to, he is in charge of reffing the battles.

~Excerpt from chatroom "URPG Battle"~

Tempest79797: Gengar uses Shadow Ball, Metagross defeated, next?
Amberishere<3: Wow, you suck Tyler.
Strwbrry Eggos: I expected to last longer. Anyways, send in Ninjask, male, Speed Boost.
Broncos_Rock!: You know, it would've been better to use Ninjask first.
HeartofShadows: Yeah, Swords Dance+Baton Pass to Meta might've killed me.
Tempest79797: Ninjask sent, moves?
HeartsofShadows: Thunder TM
Strwbrry Eggos: Aw man...forgot you had that move...TM Shadow Ball
Tempest79797: Shadow Ball
Onlinehost: Tempest79797 rolled 1 100-sided dice: 89
Tempest79797: No Sp. Def fall, Thunder
Onlinehost: Tempest79797 rolled 1 100-sided dice: 1
Broncos_Rock!: Wow
Amberishere<3: Total Hax.
Tempest79797: Hits, One hit ko, good game.
HeartofShadows: Good game
Strwbrry Eggos: Good game, thanks for the ref Sigma.
Strwbrry Eggos exited the chatroom.

~End Excerpt~

Yeah, I'm not exactly the best. Anyways, this is when things start to turn weird. It all started with a simple message. I had an IM session with another buddy; Jesus of Magikarps. We were working out a deal in which he would trade a Pokemon for a Pokemon I wrote for. I got this strange message from a username I didn't recognize. It went something like this.

~Excerpt from IM between Strwbrry Eggos and Enigma~

Enigma: Do you wanna play a game?
Strwbrry Eggos: What kind?
Enigma: The game is kind of like PMD, only more exciting.
Strwbrry Eggos: Sure, I guess.
Enigma: Okay, just one quick question.
Enigma: If you had to take only one human item into the Pokemon World, which would it be.
Strwbrry Eggos: My headphones, easy.
Enigma: Okay, now reply to this message to start the game.
Strwbrry Eggos: How wierd...how does that help?

~End Excerpt~

Suddenly, a light began glowing in my room. I turned around to see my headphones emanating a mysterious blue glow. I picked them up from on top of the desk, placed them on my head, and powered them on. Suddenly, the glow surrounded my entire body. Next thing I knew, I was standing in this strange white building. A strange light was shining down on me. A mysterious voice echoed.

"Scanning your aura, please hold still," A female computer voice said.

I stood there in total shock. What was happening? I looked around, searching for an exit, but I couldn't find one. Suddenly, there was a beep, and the computer voice spoke again.

"Scan complete. Congratulations, you possess the Light-Aura!" the monotone voice boomed.

A light shone across the room. A strange statue of a miniature blue Pokemon was across the white building. What did it all mean? I was so scared, I almost didn't notice the holographic me. The guy looked exactly like I did. The hologram walked to the statue and came in contact with it. Maybe these were instructions? I decided to imitate the image's actions. I walked to the blue statue and touched it. Another light engulfed us and I felt my body bend and morph. What the hell is happening?!

Without realizing it, I had blacked out. I was woken by the sound of voices. I opened my eyes to see a green horned Pokemon, a Pokemon with a seed on its head, and a floating purple ball of gas staring at me. I suddenly noticed words floating over their heads. The first one I noticed was "HeartofShadows" that loomed over the Gastly. The purple gas Pokemon was Sally's favorite. I noticed that the others had words over their names similar to my other friends' AIM names. Larvitar, the green-horned creature, was Zachary, and of course, the seed Pokemon Budew was Amber's star.

"How did you guys get here?" I asked, "And how are you Pokemon?"

"You should ask yourself that," Amber smirked.

I walked up to the lake, realizing that I was shorter than normal. I stared at my reflection in the still water. I saw a blue creature, similiar to the one in the statue, wearing headphones. This reminded me of the events that took place earlier. My headphones had glowed, so I turned them on, and I ended up in that white building. I turned around to realize that everybody's prized possesions were with them as well. The football, the pendant, and the skull-marked playing cards were all carried by my friends.

"You got the message from that Enigma guy too, right?" I asked, glancing from one friend to another.

"Yeah, he asked me what would I take to the Pokemon World with me, I answered, bam, I wind up here," Zach replied, tossing his football.

"What should we do Tyler?" Sally asked, floating towards me.

"Me? How should I know?" I sputtered, jumping back, "I can't even control a fake Pokemon!"

"He's right," Zach said smugly, "I'm the best player here."

The two girls stepped away from Zachary. It was obvious they wouldn't trust their lives with him. I noticed the worried looks on their faces. I wanted to go home too, but none of us knew how. Besides, Zach would make a better leader anyways.

"I think we should give him a chance," I muttered, twiddling my Riolu thumbs.

"See? Tyler agrees," Zach laughed, stomping towards a path in the forest.

We all followed behind. It was obvious that Zach was the only one used to his Pokemon body. Both he and Larvitar were bulky figures were short legs. I was walking faster than I wanted, Sally had a hard time floating in the direction she wanted to, and Amber had trouble with the large seed. The four of us marched through the forest and entered a sandy valley. This is when we encountered obstacle number one.

"Look what we have here," a small creature chuckled.

"Fresh meat," a large snake smirked.

Three Pokemon had blocked our path. Ekans, a purple snake with intimidating eyes, Grimer, a Pokemon made out of purple sludge, and Seviper, a large black snake wih a golden crescent on its face stood before us. The Seviper had remained quiet. The three Pokemon slithered towards us. The group was prepared to retreat, except for one headstrong member.

"We can take 'em!" Zachary shouted.

"Are you crazy!" Sally shouted, "We're people, not Pokemon."

It was too late for reasoning. Zach had already charged the Seviper, the leader. He crashed his head into the snake. Larvitar flinched, Grimer and Ekans were rushing in. Suddenly, two figures blasted the interruptions away. Gastly and Budew were each fighting one of the threats. I just stood their, too afraid to move. My friends were risking there lives trying to defeat these enemies.

All hope seemed lost as the three humans were backed together. Zachary jumped in anger, suddenly the ground quaked, striking all the Pokemon on the ground.

"Did I just use Earthquake?" Zachary asked, looking to his friends.

"I think you did," Amber replied, regaining her balance.

The earth had engulf the three Poison-type Pokemon. The four of us continued walking down the valley. It felt like hours since we had been home. The path was boringly straight-forward. Suddenly, a loud crash came from a mountain. We had reached a fork in the road. The right side led to a village, but the left side led to the mountain. Dark, ominous clouds covered the mountaintop.

"A town," I said, running towards the right path, "Maybe they know how we can get home."

"Wait," Zachary called out, "Don't you wanna explore that mountain?"

"No, none of us do," Amber shouted, resting on a rock.

It was obvious who won the arguement. The four of us traveled towards the mountain. It was closer than it looked. We began to climb the brown rocks towards the black clouds covering the top of the mountain. To our surprise, the top was shaped like a bowl. The four of us climbed down the rim and slid to the bottom. There was nothing here.

"Way to go," Sally muttered, "That was pointless."

"Welcome," a crashing voice of thunder called out.

"W-who's there?" I called out.

"Its me, Leman," the thunder replied.

A large yellow bird landed from the clouds. With every flap of its wings, lighting crashed into the ground. The words over this creatures head said "Leman." It was another PE2K user. We began to ask questions, when lightning crashed into the ground, nearly striking us.

"I'm gonna beat all four of you!" Leman roared, flapping his wings viciously.

More lightning struck the ground nearby. Zachary wasn't phased, he was a Ground-type, it doesn't hurt him. He jumped up and unleashed another quake that shook the earth. Before the chunks of rock could strike him, Leman flew into the air. The attack just passed by peacefully under him. It left us wide open for his lightning attack. Gastly, Budew, and I were electrified and unable to move. The Zapdos charged up energy. It was gonna level us all with his Sky Attack.

"Shame on you!" a voice called out.

A blur swooped down and lifted the four of us into the air. In a matter of seconds, we were outside of Zapdos' attack range. Who did we have to thank? It was obviously another PE2K member. The words over the creature read "Sigma." He was a large brown bird with radiant red feathers traveling down from his head.

"Thanks Pidge," I said, "If you hadn't of shown up, Leman would've killed us."

"Don't worry," he replied, "Lemme guess, you all got strange messages from Enigma right?"

"How did you know?" Sally asked.

"Thats the way you get into the game," Sigma said, lowering as we neared the village, "He is the creator of the game. I'm sure you want to go home now. There are access points in the towns."

The massive bird landed next to a swirling blue vortex. He explained that all we had to do is enter, and we would be sent back to where we logged in from. Sally and Amber were the first to enter. There were bright lights, and they vanished. Zachary was next in line. The small Larvitar looked around as he walked towards the light. He took in the view of the brown houses that made the town. Suddenly, he turned around and ran off.

"Wait! What are you doing?" I yelled, chasing after him.

We left Sigma behind as we ran across town. Zach had ducked into one of the alleys and vanished. I looked around and realized I was lost. The houses here were all damaged by termites and rot. It left an eerie feeling. Suddenly, a voice called out to me.

"Hey kid, come here," it bellowed.

I turned around to see a brown mouse. It had large claws and brown spikes on its back. This Sandslash wasn't a PE2K member, it was an actual Pokemon, like the Seviper Gang. I noticed a chill going through my very soul. This Pokemon was trouble.

"Give me all of your items," he said, raising a claw.

"I don't have anything," I replied, backing away.

"You owe me rent though," he snickered, "If you don't have items to pay, then I'll just beat my payment out of you!"

The Pokemon charged in, claws ready to kill. I knew I was in for trouble.

SuperSmashBrawl
05-19-2008, 03:06 AM
OOC: A little warning, mild language from here on out.

Sandslash was dashing towards me, claws ready to kill. I quickly jumped back to dodge the right claw, but the second swing ripped through my skin. The shrew rammed his head into my body, launching me upwards. I looked down to see my opponent simply laying there, waiting for me to come. Why hadn’t he followed me up? The answer came to me as I began to fall, he wanted me to fall straight into the brown spikes on his back.

“Oh crap!” I yelled, struggling to move.

The Ground-type laughed as I flailed about in the air. As I neared my spiky death, something told me to stick an arm out. Instinctively, I obeyed the voice and focused my energy into the arm. I was a foot away from death when a bright blue light shot out of my hand. The Pokemon winced as my Force Palm hit him dead center. The force of the blast had the effect of Newton’s Third Law; for every force, there is an opposite reaction. The Force Palm’s blast sent me higher into the air, giving me enough time to avoid the fate that awaited me.

“I’m getting better,” I said, beaming with pride.

“Wipe that smirk off your face!” Sandslash yelled, “You still owe me with your life.”

With that outburst, the Ground-type Pokemon rolled into a spiny ball. I watched as the brown wheel was quickly coming towards me. As soon as it got too close, I jumped out of the wheel. Knowing that the longer Sandslash spun, the faster he’d go, I thought of a way to stop the Roll-out. The wheel once again came close to me, another simple dodge.

“You can’t keep this up forever boy,” the orb called.

I knew he spoke the truth. I had one good move in me, and I needed to use it now. Preparing for an attack, I jumped back, tripping over a rock. Sandslash laughed as he wheeled closer and closer. Literally at the last second, I sent a beam of energy from my hand. The wheel flew into the air, unwinding. I followed my foe into the air, and flipped him over so the spiked side faced the ground. A fiery energy became to swell up in my leg.

“Taste my Blaze Kick!” I yelled, flipping in the air.

My fiery leg struck Sandslash’s belly with a true force. The Pokemon fell spike-first into the ground and fainted. I landed on the ground, panting. I turned around and began to walk away. I heard a snicker behind my back. The defeated Pokemon pulled out a large yellow seed from behind his back.

“Eat my Explosion Seed!” He yelled, throwing the yellow object.

I froze in fear. The resulting blast of the seed breaking would kill me! Suddenly, a strong gust of wind blew the seed back to its sender. The large Pidgeot landed on the ground. Sigma had once again saved my life.

“Thanks a lot,” I said, “You saved me again.”

“Good work back there,” Sigma replied, “You handled that situation well. I think you will make a promising explorer.”

“Me?” I asked, startled.

“Why not?” the Pidgeot said, “Let’s go to the team forming building.”

Sigma led me to a small building with white walls. Inside, a lone pink Pokemon that puffed up like a balloon. Stood behind a counter. Jigglypuff looked up as we walked in.

“Sigma, how has Team Pidgeot been?” she asked.

“Its been good,” he replied, “This kid here wants to be an explorer.”

“Sorry, he doesn’t have a partner,” Jigglypuff replied rudely.

“I’ll help him out,” the large bird replied, “Just tell my team that Yanma is in charge until I return.”

“Okay, what do you want your team name to be kid?” She said, looking down at me.

“Uh…Team…” I stuttered, “Team Quiksilver?”

“Okay then,” the Pokemon replied, “Enjoy being an explorer.”

Pidgeot and I walked out of the building. Jigglypuff had given me a badge with my team name engraved in it. Along with the badge was a letter. I opened it up. The piece of paper described the average mission-taking life of an explorer. It listed a beginner’s mission, which we chose to accept.

The mission led us to a grassy plain, similar to what I had explored earlier. On the way, Sigma gave out pointers about how to tap into my inner Riolu. Suddenly, four Pokemon jumped out at us. This would be my first battle ever. The valley was home to many Pokemon, but these four Pokemon were unique. Three Feebas, grey fish with blue fins, and an orange Magikarp that seemed to give them orders splashed about.

“Look there,” Sigma pointed above Magikarp’s head.

“A username,” I replied, reading the words, “Jesus of Magikarps, is that you?”

“Oh course,” the orange fish replied, “Wow, SuperSmashBrawl, how did you recruit a Riolu?”

“It is his starter,” the Pidgeot replied.

“Coo coo ca choo,” Jesus replied, “Sorry, but Team Splash has to win!”

With a single flail, Jesus of Magikarps commanded the three Feebas. Sigma and I were ready. We decided to fight two at a time. I would get the head Magikarp and one of the Feebas, the Pidgeot would get the other two. The fish flailed about, slapping us with their tails. I could see some of Sigma’s feathers being knocked lose. Who knew a couple of fish could put up a good fight? Jesus took the chance to strike me while I was distracted. His crown went straight into my gut, knocking the air lose.

“Are you alright SSB?” Sigma shouted, ducking the two Feebas.

“I’m fine,” I gasped, barely getting the words out.

“Too bad, more work for me,” Jesus sighed, “Feebas, use Surf!”

All three grey fish leapt into a nearby pond. Suddenly, a massive wave being command by the three came crashing down the valley! There was nowhere to hide, Sigma and I would be defeated. I needed to think of a move that could save us. I remembered something important, Riolu can use Detect! It took all of my focus, but I was able to create an orange barrier to surround us. The wave came in contact with the barrier, activating my move. Sigma and I teleported, outside of Surf’s strike zone.

Magikarp and the three Feebas were floating in the water. I knew that if something, let’s say a burning foot, hit the water, it would boil the fish. I jumped from the ledge, focusing my fiery energy into my leg. One furious kick struck the water with a temperature of two-hundred and twelve degrees Fahrenheit. Steam poured from the blue liquid, followed by the yells of scalding fish. Soon, the water evaporated, leaving four unconscious fish. I noticed a peculiar rock by Jesus.

“What is this?” I asked, pointing it out to Sigma.

“It’s a Cheat Stone,” he replied, “If you defeat a trainer, it appears. Grabbing it will activate the power, and then you can decide what cheat to use. Take it, its yours.”

I followed the Pidgeot’s advice, and picked up the blue sphere. Suddenly, a light sparked and surrounded the rock in a diamond-prism shape. A thought popped into mind, for the first time since I fought Sandslash, I remembered Zach had run off. I would use my cheat to find him.

“That’ll do nicely,” a dark voice called from nearby.

Suddenly, a green figure dashed from the ledge. It breezed by me, grabbing the Cheat Stone. The green lizard with a red belly and a leaf coming from the top of his head stood before us. He laughed as he held the glowing prism in his hand.

“Who are you?” I asked, startled by the newcomer.

“He’s Grovyle,” Sigma said, “A famous thief, if I recall correctly, and I usually do.”

“You never knew the meaning of ‘humble,’ eh Sigma?” the figure asked.

“Hold up,” was my answer, waving my arms, “You know this crook?”

“Sadly, yes,” the Pidgeot replied, “He was a member of Team Pidgeot, before we learned of his corruption. What do you have planned Grovyle?”

“Total domination,” the skinny figure replied, “I have three Cheat Stones, with them I can rule the world. Think you can stop me little boy?” Grovyle stared at me tauntingly, “Meet me at Grassy Valley, if you got the Cheri Berries.”

Sigma and I dove at him. Grovyle threw a storm of leaves and vanished. I was fuming with anger. No idea where to go, I ran off in a random direction.

“Where are you going?” Sigma asked.

“To challenge Grovyle,” I replied.

“No way,” the bird said, “We need more members if we want to do this.”

“Jesus of Magikarps will join us, right?” I asked the fish.

“Aye, that I will,” he replied.

“Fine…” Sigma sighed, “But we need more team members, I’ll lead you there, but we take the long way.”

So the three members of Team Quiksilver set off. The more experienced member told us we would cut through Muddy Swamp. Sure enough, the swamp was filled with mud. We would get stuck often. Finally, we made it to a clearing. It seemed safe, until two familiar voices called out.

“Look, it’s the kid from earlier,” the purple snake laughed.

“Too scared to fight,” a creature made if swamp mud snickered.

Grimer, Ekans, and Seviper lived in Muddy Swamp. Just my luck, three Poison-types, no Ground attacks, and I was sure they wouldn’t want to be buddies. The Pokemon rushed in to attack. They were extremely agile, as expected in the swamp. There wasn’t enough time to dodge their Poison attacks. Seviper’s poisonous tail cut my skin. I could feel something enter my body, disrupting my breathing.

Pidgeot had been able to break free of the swamp’s grasp and tackle Seviper. Jesus splashed around in the muck, slapping Grimer with his tail. I was left to fight Ekans, suffering from my poisoned state. The snake dove at me with its mouth wide open, prepared to swallow me whole. The swamp had engulfed my legs, I was stuck in the muck. Suddenly, a savior appeared in the form of a stream of water. The Water Gun attack struck the mud under Ekans, causing the Pokemon to slip.

A blue turtle jumped in front of me. It had a brown shell and a bushy tail. Another PE2K member, Jr. Trainer, stood before me. He shot another stream of water at the cringing snake. The poison in my veins caused me to black out, falling into the mud.

“Where am I?” I asked, half-conscious.

“This is my hut,” the blue Pokemon replied, “You were damaged by Seviper’s Poison Tail attack. We took you here and gave you the proper medicine.”

“Thanks for that Junior,” I replied, fully awake, “Listen…”

“Don’t bother asking,” the Squirtle huffed, “Sigma already filled me in. I’m not interested in joining your pathetic excuse for a team. Besides, the swamp is doomed without me. Your petty problems leave me with no concern.”

“What the hell did you just say!” I yelled, jumping out of the bed, “Lets take this outside and I’ll show you how pathetic we are!”

“Heh, I’ve seen you fight,” The Jr. Trainer snorted, “This’ll be easy.”

We all stepped outside of the small grass hut, and onto an island surrounded by mud. We stood across from each other, ready for a battle. Jr. was the first to attack. He fired a jet stream of water, similar to how he fought Ekans. I easily dodged the blast and ran towards my foe. The Squirtle ducked inside his shell and began spinning. The brown shell spun towards me, getting faster all the time.

I handled this situation in the same manner I handled Sandslash. I shot a beam of blue energy from my hand and sent Squirtle back. The Tiny Shell Pokemon arose to his feet and fired another Water Gun. The water struck me, forcing me towards the edge of the island. I couldn’t get close enough to damage Squirtle. The Pokemon knew that I specialized in close-range combat, and used all of his power to keep me at bay.

Charging at high speed, I scrunched my fist. Squirtle prepared to shoot another Water Gun. Suddenly, I vanished, reappearing in front the Water-type, shooting my arm through his body several times. Bullet Punch! The fastest Steel-type attack ever. The turtle hunched over in pain.

SuperSmashBrawl
05-19-2008, 03:07 AM
“So, you’re not as pathetic as you look,” the Pokemon replied, “Sure, I’ll join Team QuikSilver to fight Grovyle.”

“Cool,” Sigma replied, “We’ll find one more and meet Grovyle at Grassy Valley.”

We had one final trip. The way to Grassy Valley is blocked by the Tower of the Ancients. This tower is home to many Psychic Pokemon. So, Sigma and the others spent the trip into the tower warning me not to fight. As a Fighting-type, Riolu are susceptible to Psychic attacks. I wasn’t phased, until we found the tower.

A large cube served as the base. The cube was covered with moss and vines. At the top of the cube, a large spire stuck straight up. The spire was dark purple and seemed to glow in the night. This was the Tower of the Ancients. Suddenly, there was a rustling in the bushes.

We turned around to find a small grey dinosaur with an enlarged blue skull. This was yet another PE2K member. Crazy312 had become a Cranidos.

“What’s going on Crazy?” I asked, “Why are you at the Tower of the Ancients?”

“There is supposed to be a treasure in the tower,” he replied, “I went to look, but was defeated.”

“Well, we can help you,” Jr Trainer, the Squirtle, offered.

“Really?” Crazy asked in surprise.

“Sure, but you gotta help us,” Jesus of Magikarps replied.

“It’s a deal,” the dinosaur said.

Thus, Team Quiksilver gained its fifth, and what we thought would be its final recruit for what Sigma referred to as a Nine-star mission. The large group entered the tower, amazed by the cube’s maze-like design. Our final diversion began. To find the treasure, we had to survive the maze and reach the top. In a maze, it was always a good idea to always follow the wall on your left. I suggested the idea, and we spent a good hour following the left wall.

On our trip, we ran into two Psychic-Type Pokemon. Sigma and Crazy offered to battle them. Lunatone, a crescent-shaped Pokemon, and its ally, Solrock, the sun-shaped Pokemon blocked the way. Solrock shot out a stream of flames at Crazy. Instead of dodging, the Cranidos took the attack. Being a Rock-Type, the Flamethrower attack had little effect. Lunatone’s body glowed an eerie blue as it caught the large bird with its mind.

Slowly, Pidgeot rose into the air, falling victim to the Rock-type’s Psychic attack. The bird came crashing to the ground with a brutal force. Cranidos broke Solrock’s flaming stream and smashed his head into the sun’s rocky exterior. I had a spark of inspiration. Though I was a Fighting-Type Pokemon, they were both Rock-Types. I could bust them down with a powerful Force Palm, or maybe even a Bullet Punch.

“Sigma, Crazy, duck!” I yelled, charging forward.

The two ally Pokemon stepped out of my way. My blue body leapt into the air as both Pokemon turned their attention to me. I charged the energy in my palms and waited for the opportune moment. Solrock and Lunatone both shot out beams of psychic energy to halt my progress. I quickly unleashed my Force Palm, shattered both rocky bodies. In the process, I was hit with two Psybeams, which left me in a daze. Luckily, I had broken into the core of the Pokemon. Crazy and Sigma charged in with their final attacks. Both opposing Pokemon fell in defeat.

“We did it!” I cheered, shaking my head.

After more walking, we found the path to the spire of the ancient tower. To our surprise, it was a long spiral staircase. We reached the top with no troubles at all. At the top, a lantern hung from the ceiling, carrying a glowing red orb. This was the treasure Crazy was looking for. He climbed to the jewel and was about to remove it from the base when a Psychic attack sent him crashing into the ground. The technique had been launched by a small white Pokemon with two red horns.

“Nice of you to come,” Fire Away, the PE2K member turned Ralts laughed.

“Why did you attack me?” Crazy asked, “Do you want the treasure?”

“No you fool,” he replied, “This ‘treasure’ as you greedy people call it, is really the only thing keeping the Tower of the Ancients from collapsing.”

“You could’ve just told us that,” I said, “No need to be a bully.”

“A bully you say,” the Ralts snickered, “What do you plan on doing little Riolu?”

“Well, I never could handle a bully peacefully,” I replied smugly, entering a fighting stance.

“Bring it on!” Fire Away snorted.

So the Ralts and I prepared to have a battle. Suddenly, a red bug flew into the tower and knocked the jewel from the pedestal. There was a powerful quake as the ruby shattered on the ground. Rocks began to fall from the ceiling. The tower was collapsing! The six of us ran down the stairs as fast as we could.

We finally reached the safety of solid ground and watched the tower implode. Something had tried to eliminate us. Fire Away turned to me and said.

“Looks like I got wrangled into your little mission,” he replied with worry, “I have to get revenge for the tower.”

“Welcome to the team,” I replied, stretching out my hand.

“Guys…” Jesus of Magikarps interrupted, “I don’t f-f-feel so good.”

Our attention turned to the orange fish. He looked pale. Our first guess was that he spent too much time out of the water. But, the Magikarp began to glow. The silhouette of our friend began to transform from a fish to a sea serpent. The new creature was a large blue snake, with tiny wings on his massive head to help him float. With massive jaws, the monster could literally scare the crap out of you.

“What the hell happened?” I asked, startled.

“Jesus evolved into Gyarados,” Fire Away said, quivering.

“No kidding,” The Jr. Trainer replied, “We should call him Jesus of Gyarados’ now.”

The group laughed in unison. With out newly evolved friend, the six of us set out for Grassy Valley, and to defeat Grovyle. We reached the valley, which was a field a green, luscious grass. In the middle of the field was a rock formation covered in grass. The formation was shaped like a throne, and two prism-shaped Cheat Stones stood at the top.

The red-bellied lizard sat there, legs crossed, elbow on the armrest, holding up his head. Grovyle let out a snicker as we approached. The large blue serpent, tiny blue turtle, small horned creature, large-skulled dinosaur, red-feathered bird, and of course, the tiny blue dog approached the false king.

“Welcome,” the thief laughed.

“I’m here, but I brought friends,” I said, pointing at the Grass-Type, “Its six-on-one, we’re gonna win.”

“Six-on-one you say,” Grovyle snickered in amusement, “Look around you.”

We spun around, noticed hundreds of Pokemon surrounding us in the valley. They all nested or bred in Grassy Valley. The look in their eyes was unnatural, we figured that Grovyle used one of his three Cheat Stones to control their actions. The tyrant clapped his hands and six Pokemon flew from the sky. A large blue dragon, a large brown bird, a fat white creature, a bird made of metal, A menacing bird with a red feather on its head, and finally, a slim red bug with large green eyes.

“Impossible!” Sigma yelled, “This is Team Pidgeot, you took control of my team! Even strong-willed Yanma.”

“Idiot…” the red bug muttered, “You didn’t find it suspicious that whenever Grovyle was off stealing, I was nowhere in sight for ten seconds on end?”

“No, you were gone for ten seconds, there was no way,” the bird replied, “Wait, you are a part of Grovyle’s crusade of your own volition?”

“Of course, I was the perfect thief,” Yanma replied, “You really didn’t suspect a thing did you? That ‘yes sir,’ and ‘of course not master.’ It was all a load of Tauros. I was in charge of taking Grovyle’s stolen stash to our hideout. I was fast enough to get there and back without you being none the wiser.”

“Wow, you got double-crossed,” Jesus snickered, “Hee hee hoo.”

“Its not funny,” the Pidgeot replied, scrunching his face, “You bastards, I’ll kill both of you!”

“See?” Grovyle asked, “This is why I wanted to kill you at the Tower of the Ancients, but not even Yanma was fast enough to pull it off.”

“Wait, so its your fault that the tower collapsed,” Fire Away and Crazy roared, “You destroyed the treasure! That’s it! This is personal!”

“Wow, they both said the exact same thing,” Yanma snickered, “How amusing. I wonder… Grovyle, remember when you sent those Poison-Types to destroy the Muddy Swamp?”

“That was genius,” Grovyle replied excitedly, “Let me guess, the Squirtle is Jr. Trainer, defender of the swamp?”

“You bet your green ass I am!” Jr yelled.

“I don’t believe it,” Jesus said, “It seems almost everybody here has a personal beef with Grovyle.”

“Yeah, but I don’t understand one thing,” I said, contemplating my next words, “Why challenge me? You stalked me, you tried to kill me, and most importantly, you told me where I could meet you. Why? Am I that important? What role could I possibly play in your twisted scheme?”

“Trouble,” Grovyle muttered, a serious expression on his face, “Haven’t you noticed? Nobody from PE2K has recruited a Riolu, let alone have it as a starter. You have the light aura. It may just be a little part in the game to you, but to us, its an honor. If you evolve, it could end my plans. Team Pidgeot, attack!”

Each of the Flying-Types in Sigma’s team chose a target. I was paired up against Yanma. The Bug-Type was incredibly speedy. He zoomed this way and that, keeping me on the defensive. Suddenly, the dragonfly appeared behind me and rushed forward. I felt a sharp pain in my side. The claws of the Pokemon had slashed through me.

Sigma was forced to fight Salamence. The large dragon shot a massive beam of orange energy that the Pidgeot barely dodged. The Pokemon took the opportunity to strike the tired beast with his beak. Salamence merely shook off the hit and prepared a retaliation.

Jesus of Magikarps’ Pokemon was Togekiss, a bulky white bird. The Pokemon flapped its wings, creating a sharp air current that cut through Gyarados’ hide. Jesus roared and slammed his massive jaws forward, threatening to engulf Togekiss. However, the happy Pokemon had other plans, she built up an electric current and shocked Gyarados with a mighty Thunderbolt.

Fire Away was having problems fighting Skarmory, the metal bird. It naturally repelled all of his Ralts’ Psychic-Type attacks. It would then attack with a spinning beak attack simply known as Drill Peck. His metal beak would bore a hole into Ralts. Everybody was having trouble fighting their respective enemies.

“Why did I have to choose the strongest of the strong for my team,” Sigma screamed, the massive Salamence crashing into his neck.

“Need some help?” a deep teenage voice called out.

Suddenly, three fully-evolved Pokemon jumped from the ridge. A large purple blob, a green Pokemon with beautiful flowers, and a large green dinosaur landed on the ground. Gengar, the blob, Summoned up two bolts of lighting to take out Togekiss and Fearow. Roserade, the flower Pokemon, blew into a blade of grass, creating a gentle melody that put Salamence and Yanma to sleep. Tyranitar simply brutalized Staraptor and Skarmory with his rocky hide.

These were all PE2K members, I realized. The usernames were awfully familiar. Amberishere<3, HeartofShadows, and of course, Broncos_Rock! Zach, Amber, and Sally were back! My three friends joined Team Quiksilver. Grovyle called out a command, and the Pokemon from the edge of the Grassy Valley swarmed in.

“Looks like got here just in time,” Sally joked.

“Why did you come back?” I asked.

“Tyler, we’re your friends. You didn’t think we would leave you behind, didja?” Zach asked, “I ran off because I was ashamed that I almost got you hurt. After a while of training, I evolved into the force you see today. Sally and Amber missed me, so they tracked me down. We learned about what was happening between you and Grovyle, so we came here as fast as we could.”

“Who’d you hear it from?” Sigma asked, recovering from his battle with Salamence.

“They heard it from me,” a purple scorpion interrupted, “I heard about y’alls scuffle from rumors. This ‘ere Tyranitar went around asking about a kid named Tyler. I put two an’ two together, and told ‘em the rumors. I am Skorupi, sheriff of the nearby town.”

“Get Grovyle!” Crazy the Cranidos yelled, “That’s why we’re here!”

“Right,” I nodded, running towards Grovyle.

The Grass-Type jumped out of the rocky throne. My keen instincts alerted me to the fact that the other Pokemon seemed to circle around us. Suddenly, Yanma woke up and started zooming around us. The grass lizard grabbed a Cheat Stone and used it to massively boost his power.

“Yanma, if any threats try to pass you, kill Mr. Brawl,” Grovyle instructed, spitting onto the ground.

It was obvious that Grovyle was serious. Yanma’s speed blew the grass around us so it fluttered in the air. The pressure was causing me to suffocate. Grovyle led off with a Bullet Seed attack. Hundreds of tiny yellow seeds flew in my direction. I quickly ran to avoid them. When the grass Pokemon ran out of ammo, I charged in and struck him with a Force Palm. The attack seemed to barely affect him. One of the leaves on his elbow began to glow.

I was too close. He swung the leaf around like it was a sword and cut me repeatedly. About halfway through his onslaught, I built up the nerve to use another one of Riolu’s attack. Another Leaf Blade was coming for me, I grabbed the blade, which caused my hand to bleed a little. I lifted Grovyle off of the ground and swung him around. I let go with my Reversal attack, sending my enemy flying.

“Nice work kid!” Grovyle shouted, wiping blood and sweat from his eyes.

Suddenly, his power boost became obvious. He dashed at me with a neck-breaking speed. The kick that followed was almost enough to liquefy my entire body. He was that strong!
I knew that the fight was lost. I almost gave up, but some encouragement was shared.

“Come on man! You can do it!” Yanma’s speed, and the fighting outside of the circle prevented me from identifying the voices, “Show them the power you have!”

“Go man, open up a can of Coo Coo Ca Choo!”

“ Prove to me that you have what it takes, pathetic loser.”

“ Don’t make me regret my decision!”

“Come on, be like the Denver Broncos, kick some names, and take some ass!”

“Show them that even the Anti-Lucifer can be immortal.”

“If you die, you’ll never be able to see my face again.”

“C’mon, I know y’all can do it Tyler.”

This encouragement brought me to my feet. Grovyle stopped the celebration and rushed towards me. I prepared to dodge, but his hand caught me and threw me. My body crashed into the final Cheat Stone, sending it flying into the flurry. Zach the Tyranitar picked it up and threw it like it was a Football.

“Stop it Yanma!” Grovyle yelled, fearful of what Zach’s cheat was.

Not even the speedy Yanma was fast enough to stop Zachary’s arm. The prism hit me dead center, causing me to glow. I knew I was evolving. My body began to quiver as I grew. The light faded, revealing a larger-scale version of Riolu, with big ears and spikes on my hands. I had evolved into Lucario! Yanma couldn’t stop in time, and tried to cut into me instead.

However, with evolution, I gained a steel coating. Yanma bounced off and landed in the crowd. I turned my attention to Grovyle, who was standing a few feet away from me in fear. The Pokemon used all of the speed his body could muster to take off towards the pack of Pokemon. There was no way I’d let him escape twice. I charged up the light in my hands, in the same manner I did with Force Palm and fired a powerful orb of light.

Aura Sphere was too fast for Grovyle, and knocked him farther away. He was almost at the pack of Pokemon, but I could catch him. I charged forward with my fist tightly wound, vanished, and reappeared next to Grovyle. My Bullet Punch went through his body several times, knocking him into the air. I followed the green lizard upwards, remembering the fiery passion in my leg.

“Taste my Blaze Kick!” I yelled, feeling a sense of Déjà vu.

The fiery leg struck Grovyle, knocking him into the ground with a powerful, murderous crash. With Grovyle dead, the hypnotized Pokemon regained their senses. Skorupi, the purple scorpion declared my opponent dead, and unable to be arrested. Suddenly, voice called out from the crowd.

“Grovyle, did you win?” Yanma asked.

The bug flew out of the crowd, we all turned to stare at him. Everybody saw the look in my eyes as I charged in. Yanma tried to fly away, but I was too fast. My powerful hands grabbed the thin dragonfly, and threw him towards the ground. I landed and entered a cool fighting pose.

“If you wanna live, you gotta beat me,” I taunted, “You feeling lucky punk?”

The bug floated back up to face me. I charged in and shot a blue energy from my palm. Force Palm did some damage to Yanma, but it wasn’t anything special. The bug blew wind that cut my steel-plating. He charged in with a high-speed tackle. I staggered as he cut me with more deadly Air Slashes. I charged up a massive burst of energy.

“This for the people you and Grovyle hurt.” I yelled, “This is for the Tower of the Ancients, the Muddy Swamp, and everybody here! You betrayed Team Pidgeot and Sigma! I can’t let you go without punishment. Now you DIE!”

My rage created a massive orb of light. This attack would ring out in history as the Maximum Aura Sphere. The giant ball engulfed Yanma, exploding with ten times the force of the original attack. Yanma laid with crumpled wings on the ground, but he was still alive. Skorupi tied the Pokemon tightly. The entire Pokemon crowd rushed in to thank me.

“Wait!” Fire Away, the tiny Ralts had shouted, “I have no home. Can I join you SuperSmashBrawl? I’ll even fight you to prove my worth.”

“No need,” I replied.

“I insist,” The Ralts pressured me.

Once again, the Pokemon stepped back to give us room to fight. Ralts fired off several black globs of darkness. The balls came close to striking me, but I avoided all but one. The one that hit me exploded, forcing me back. Fire Away took the opportunity to teleport beside me and strike with a Psychic attack. I was dragged across the ground with Ralts’ mind.

I was actually losing. Suddenly though, a burst of darkness exploded from my body, dealing major damage to Ralts, breaking his Psychic hold. I rose to my feet and fired several Shadow Balls of my own. All of the attacks hit the Ralts. I followed the attacks with a final Bullet Punch to end the battle.

“Sure you can join,” I smiled, “Sheriff Skorupi, how’s Yanma?”

“I don’t believe it,” the sheriff stammered, “B-but, Yanma i-is…”

Pokemon to Capture: Yanma and Ralts
Required character count: 30,000

DarkGardevoir
05-21-2008, 04:07 PM
I'm gonna grade this.

EDIT:

Story/Plot: I'm not too familiar with PMD stories, honestly. Basically, a group of chat friends gets invited to this PMD game, and get magically transported into this world. They get turned into Pokemon and get to the city to return. However, one ran off and the main character follows him. He creates a team with Pidge and runs off. Beats JoM and gets a cheat stone, stolen by a menacing Grovyle. So he chases the thief with his team that keeps on growing.

Then we happen to be in Sparta(this is MADNESS!). Team Pidgeot is controlled by the cheat stone and the three friends of the Riolu come to rescue. Yet, there are too many confusing things here.

First, Pidge had a team himself. Couldn't the Riolu just join him instead of doing it the other way and making a new team?

Same goes with JoM. He has a team with his three Feebas and after getting beaten goes "ah sure, I'll join you". I'm not saying he should've held some grudge, but he had absolutely no reason to join him. Also, where do the Feebas go?

Jr was a little incoherent. He was protecting te swamp, that's the main reason he refused to join. Yet, after a small fight with Riolu, he joins him.

In a completely RPG fashion, Riolu agrees to help Leman climb the Ancient Tower. Without asking other's opinions. Because a normal person worried for his friend wouldn't do his business first, then think about helping people.

You didn't explain if it was just a team mission, where everybody could join with their own team, or they really did enter Riolu's team (because Ralts' actions in the end are quite odd to me).

It was a nice plot, with good twists, but you could've developped it so much better.

One last thing: since you're placing this story in PMD world, you should follow PMD rules. First off, I doubt any fresh-start could evolve a Larvitar to Tyranitar in a day, or a Gastly to Gengar. Or a Budew to Roserade, since the stones are quite rare. Unless they all found some cheat stones and used them unknowingly.

Detail/Description: Everything was blurry and you jumped from a scene directly to the other. I find it quite hard that after a marsh there's this tower so suddenly (mainly because the two habitat should be very different a little surrounding change noticed by the crowd woud've been better. Also, you should focus a little more on the Pokemon description. At first I even thought your character was a Mudkip as you only said it was blue.

Grammar: Minor distraction mistakes, such as:
there was a referee there to
to should be too.

Length: Giving the range of characters you used helps the grader. However, maxing out is always for the best, which you did, so good job here.

Battle: That was nice. I could picture and name almost all attacks, they were described finely. However, Togekiss can't learn Thunderbolt. Other than that, they all were fine. It was a bit odd when the Powerhouse Friends came, strong and mighty, while Tyler the Riolu stood weak.

Outcome: Gee, I don't like saying this. The plot was interesting, a bit cliché when Grovyle blabbered about conquering the world and Riolu being "the chosen one", and the battles were interesting, but your lack in general description hurt. Unfortunately, I can let you catch either Yanma OR Ralts. It was just too confusing at times.

SuperSmashBrawl
05-22-2008, 03:03 PM
I'm gonna grade this.

EDIT:

Story/Plot: I'm not too familiar with PMD stories, honestly. Basically, a group of chat friends gets invited to this PMD game, and get magically transported into this world. They get turned into Pokemon and get to the city to return. However, one ran off and the main character follows him. He creates a team with Pidge and runs off. Beats JoM and gets a cheat stone, stolen by a menacing Grovyle. So he chases the thief with his team that keeps on growing.

Then we happen to be in Sparta(this is MADNESS!). Team Pidgeot is controlled by the cheat stone and the three friends of the Riolu come to rescue. Yet, there are too many confusing things here.

First, Pidge had a team himself. Couldn't the Riolu just join him instead of doing it the other way and making a new team?

Same goes with JoM. He has a team with his three Feebas and after getting beaten goes "ah sure, I'll join you". I'm not saying he should've held some grudge, but he had absolutely no reason to join him. Also, where do the Feebas go?

Jr was a little incoherent. He was protecting te swamp, that's the main reason he refused to join. Yet, after a small fight with Riolu, he joins him.

In a completely RPG fashion, Riolu agrees to help Leman climb the Ancient Tower. Without asking other's opinions. Because a normal person worried for his friend wouldn't do his business first, then think about helping people.

You didn't explain if it was just a team mission, where everybody could join with their own team, or they really did enter Riolu's team (because Ralts' actions in the end are quite odd to me).

It was a nice plot, with good twists, but you could've developped it so much better.

One last thing: since you're placing this story in PMD world, you should follow PMD rules. First off, I doubt any fresh-start could evolve a Larvitar to Tyranitar in a day, or a Gastly to Gengar. Or a Budew to Roserade, since the stones are quite rare. Unless they all found some cheat stones and used them unknowingly.

Detail/Description: Everything was blurry and you jumped from a scene directly to the other. I find it quite hard that after a marsh there's this tower so suddenly (mainly because the two habitat should be very different a little surrounding change noticed by the crowd woud've been better. Also, you should focus a little more on the Pokemon description. At first I even thought your character was a Mudkip as you only said it was blue.

Grammar: Minor distraction mistakes, such as:

to should be too.

Length: Giving the range of characters you used helps the grader. However, maxing out is always for the best, which you did, so good job here.

Battle: That was nice. I could picture and name almost all attacks, they were described finely. However, Togekiss can't learn Thunderbolt. Other than that, they all were fine. It was a bit odd when the Powerhouse Friends came, strong and mighty, while Tyler the Riolu stood weak.

Outcome: Gee, I don't like saying this. The plot was interesting, a bit cliché when Grovyle blabbered about conquering the world and Riolu being "the chosen one", and the battles were interesting, but your lack in general description hurt. Unfortunately, I can let you catch either Yanma OR Ralts. It was just too confusing at times.
Okay, thanks a lot. I'll catch Yanma, its the most important one anyways.