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LimeGreen
04-30-2008, 02:52 AM
My other one was crap so a new one is here!
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Intro:
In the days of the American Old West, Mephistopheles sent a bounty hunter of the damned, called a Ghost Rider, to retrieve a contract for a thousand corrupt souls from the town of San Venganza. The Rider refused to give the contract — and therefore, the souls — to Mephistopheles; instead, he outran Mephistopheles and hid himself and the contract.

A century and a half later, a seventeen-year-old stunt motorcycle rider Johnny Blaze discovers that his father is dying of lung cancer. Mephistopheles approaches him with a promise to rid his father of his cancer once and for all if Johnny gave his soul as payment. Johnny inadvertently signs the contract when a spike located on its central bar breaks his skin and causes his blood to fall onto the parchment. The next morning, his father's cancer is gone; but later that same day, he dies mid-stunt in a horrific bike crash. Johnny accuses Mephistopheles regarding his father's death; Mephistopheles informs Johnny that he now owns the boy's soul, as agreed. Johnny then abandons his girlfriend, Roxanne Simpson

Chapter One:
Jonny Blaze walking down the allyway down into the shadows
Jonny herd a woman being mugged then he transformed into Ghost Rider running to the mugger then he whiped out his chain and smacked the Mugger stating"Never harm the innocent go woman your safe now."Wrapping his chain around him.Then he Transforms back to Jonny Blaze.Later that night Jonny was driving down the highway on his Motorcycle a whisper came"Hello Jonny."Then Jonny transformed into Ghost Rider saying madly"What do you want Mephisto!" "Demons here on earth soon they will trigger Hell on Earth and destroy the world, to stop it, gain the souls of the Elements,Demon,Earth,Water,Air,Dark, then you must destroy Blackheart again his body has been revived he once again is walking on earth.He said"For Roxanne nothing else!"He said." GAIN THE DEMON SOULS HERE IS THE PORTAL TO HELL GO NOW!"Then the Rider got on the Hellcycle and drove into the portal."Vengence will take care of him."He said to himself.Now The Rider is in Hell."Now I mush search for the Demon soul."

The Rider got off the Hellcycle and walked over to a door.Suddenly 3 Demons appered."Thats what Demons look like ha!"He said.Then he whipped out his chain and set on fire.Then he swung at the Demons and hit them with force then one of the Demons clawed at the Rider and hit him then he turned around and hit the Demon.Then The Ghost Rider got tired of fighting then He shouted.
"Spirets of the Avenged...Wake...TEAR THEM DOWN!"Then he hit the ground and a giant Blue Hellfire Shockwave flew over the ground and killed all the Demons!The the Rider went through the door to the next room...

Then a Demon appered.The Rider whipped out his chain and wrapped it around the Demon and set it on Fire burning it down to ashes.
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More very soon

TheDarkEevee
05-01-2008, 12:27 AM
Hm, not bad, not bad. Only problem is, I've never seen Ghost Rider :ermm:.

LimeGreen
05-01-2008, 12:33 AM
Hm, not bad, not bad. Only problem is, I've never seen Ghost Rider :ermm:.
Thanks I also made a club on Ghost Rider check it out

jellotine
05-26-2008, 12:30 PM
Intersting. I'm going to give it a good rating
~>Jello<~

Dark Lightning
05-26-2008, 12:48 PM
This is interesting. I'll help you improve, obviously, there are a lot of grammar mistakes.
Here we go, bro. Intro was good. But for the story:


Chapter One:
Jonny Blaze [was here?] walking down the allyway down into the shadows.
Jonny herd a woman being mugged then he transformed into Ghost Rider. Running to the mugger then he whiped out his chain and smacked the Mugger stating, "Never harm the innocent! Go woman, your safe now."

[He wrapped] his chain around him, then he transforms back to Jonny Blaze. Later that night, Jonny was driving down the highway on his Motorcycle a whisper came, "Hello Jonny."

Then Jonny transformed into Ghost Rider saying madly, "What do you want Mephisto!"
"Demons here on Earth, soon they will trigger Hell on Earth and destroy the world, to stop it, gain the souls of the Elements, Demon, Earth, Water, Air, Dark, then you must destroy Blackheart again! His body has been revived he once again [and he is] walking on Earth. He said, "For Roxanne nothing else!"
He said, "GAIN THE DEMON SOULS HERE IS THE PORTAL TO HELL GO NOW!"
Then the Rider got on the Hellcycle and drove into the portal.
"Vengence will take care of him," he said to himself. Now The Rider is in Hell. Now I mush search for the Demon soul."

The Rider got off the Hellcycle and walked over to a door. Suddenly [use the word three here] Demons appered.
"Thats what Demons look like! Ha!" He said.Then he whipped out his chain and set [it?] on fire and swung at the Demons, hitting them with [deadly, strong, terrifying, etc] force then one of the Demons clawed at the Rider and hit him; then he turned around and hit the Demon. The Ghost Rider got tired of fighting then he shouted,
"Spirits of the Avenged...Wake...TEAR THEM DOWN!" Then he hit the ground and a giant Blue Hellfire Shockwave flew over the ground and killed all the Demons! The the Rider went through the door to the next room...

Then a Demon appered.The Rider whipped out his chain and wrapped it around the Demon and set it on Fire burning it down to ashes.
My ideas and thoughts of improvements.
It also maybe a good idea to not use 'then' all of the time, yes?

LimeGreen
05-26-2008, 10:03 PM
This is interesting. I'll help you improve, obviously, there are a lot of grammar mistakes.
Here we go, bro. Intro was good. But for the story:

My ideas and thoughts of improvements.
It also maybe a good idea to not use 'then' all of the time, yes?
Oh sorry I forgot about this :oops:
i'll work on it soon

TheDarkEevee
06-19-2008, 06:16 PM
Excuse me, but that is spam. I will report you if you do that kind of thing again.

LimeGreen
06-19-2008, 07:47 PM
Excuse me, but that is spam. I will report you if you do that kind of thing again.
There called "Spam bots" or anything else you wanna call it