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Pika57
07-02-2005, 02:14 PM
Freed From Pain

Mike is an average kid, his only dream to one day become the greatest known trainer on Earth. Constantly struggling to make a name for himself other than the son of the Dewford Gym’s new Leader, this black haired, hazel eyed youth dreams of one day surpassing his father and taking the position of Elite Four Champion.

"Houndour", Mike shouted," Use Flamethrower to finish Charmeleon!" Houndour obeyed, gathering what was left of its energy, it launched a long stream of fire at its opponent.

Charmeleon exhaled quickly as the attack hit as it fell unconscious and its trainer quickly withdrew his tired lizard like Pokemon.

"Good job Houndour", Mike said preparing to withdraw him as well," that’s another win for us."

"Wait a minute.", snapped his somewhat burly competitor," Who says you won?"

" My Pokemon beat your Pokemon", Mike responded, “Going by the official rulebook, that means I win."

"But you said an all out battle",continued his opponent," And I still have one Pokemon left."

***

Mike sat in one of the far corners of the Pokemon Center staring down a this food that one of the Blissey had brought.

"I lost", Mike thought. He knew it wasn't his fault that the match had been lost, and for that matter it wasn't Houndour's fault either. He had just been excited about the battle and had not remembered to set down the official rules.

"But that wasn't the only problem", he thought," If I hadn't been so overconfident in Houndour’s abilities I would have gone out and caught another Pokemon to help him in battle.” All the other trainers he‘d met had at least two Pokemon and normally three.

“If I had already gotten another Pokemon, I'm sure it could have defeated Bradley’s Absol" Mike thought.

Mike continued to think about his loss, and did notice as Nurse Joy approached his table.

"Your Pokemon is back in tip top shape." Nurse Joy said in a cheerful voice," Just be sure not to battle it so hard. it might have been severely injured if the battle had continued much longer."

" Sure whatever", Mike responded, as Nurse Joy wandered off.

“ I have to find another Pokemon to help my team,” thought Mike. “But where?”

***

Later that day Mike left the Pokemon Center and made his way towards his next destination. He had let Houndour out of its Pokeball so it could enjoy the fresh air. It sniffed around and seemed to enjoy itself.

However Mike wasn’t interested in the clear skies or beautiful weather. He was constantly scanning the trees that lined the path for any signs of a Pokemon. Whether it was scratch marks or even a Pokemon itself he wanted to know their were Pokemon nearby. He was so focused on searching for Pokemon it almost became obsessive. He probably wouldn’t have stopped hunting for Pokemon if he hadn’t looked at his Houndour.

Houndour was panting heavily. It was starting to walk slower and seemed very tired. Mike noticed that he was tired too. After checking the map he realized that a rest hut was coming up in about half a mile and they could rest their and regain their energy.

Mike and Houndour reached the rest hut about ten minutes later. It was pretty old and musty looking, but they knew that the shade inside would be a welcome relief from the scorching rays of the sun. The doors hinges creaked loudly and Mike was surprised that the hut hadn‘t collapsed from a such a simple action due to its fragile construction.

“Here Houndour have some water” Mike said as he poured some water from a canteen into a shallow dish.
Houndour greedily lapped up the water which seemed to parch her thirst. Mike pulled out a shrink wrapped sandwich and quickly devoured it.

“Keep drinking that water girl.” Mike said as he encouraged his Houndour to quench its thirst.” If you don’t you may get dehydra….” But Mike’s speech was cut short when he and Houndour heard an ear shattering thud coming from behind the shack. They heard another thud and quickly decided to check what it was. The scene was dreadful. . An Onix was laying on its back among several knocked down trees. A trainer was ordering his Pokemon around several feet from where the Onix lay.

“You know the drill Grovoyle use, Leaf Blade, Sneasel use Shadow Ball, and Girafarig use Crunch!” the trainer shouted. The Onix cringed as the three attacks slammed into its left flank. Mike could see that the Onix was already very beat up as if it had been fighting for many hours.

“What is wrong with you,” shouted Mike,” you’ve obviously weakened it enough so just throw the Pokeball already!

“Who said I was going to catch it”, responded the trainer in a slightly annoyed tone, “its already my Pokemon. I’m just using it to help my Pokemon to prepare for my next Gym Battle.”

“Your sick you know that”, Mike said,” If you’re going to train your Pokemon against themselves at least make it a fair fight. And what were you thinking attacking it when it was down.”

“I was giving it his just deserts”, responded the trainer,” He was the reason I lost my last battle. If any of my Pokemon ever cost me a victory their on punching bag duty until they redeem themselves.”

“That makes no sense you freak. I‘m going to stop you.” Mike said as his voice slowly changed from a disgusted one to a determined one, “So lets have a battle. One on One. If you win you can continue to abuse your Pokemon and I’ll let the police deal with you. But if I win you set Onix free.

The trainer stared for a minute surprised at the determination in Mike’s voice.

”Yeah sure I’ll battle you.”, the trainer said with equal determination,” You don’t look that tough anyway”

***

About a hundred yards away from the rest shack Mike faced the trainer , Carter. Onix lay on the side of the battle field obviously still in pain but definitely in better shape. Meanwhile Carter had withdrew his other Pokemon and was holding a fourth Pokeball in his hand. Houndour had recovered somewhat from their walk but was definitely not in the best of shape.

“You already know what I’m using“, Mike said as Houndour stepped onto the make-shift battle field,” So what’s your choice?”

“Don’t worry I wasn’t going to keep you waiting ”, Carter said, “ So here’s your answer. Go Ludicolo!”

The large water and grass type seemed to be lacking its normally cheerful attitude. Mike saw what looked like large bruises covering its body. Obviously a Pokemon that had not met its trainers expectations. Mike froze. Could he actually let himself beat Carter? Winning would mean freedom for Onix but would also mean that Ludicolo would be further tormented.

“I won’t fight you”, Mike uttered shamefully looking at the ground.

“I knew you’d forfeit”, Carter said,” You’re no where near good enough to beat me.”

“I won’t fight you because I would WIN”, Mike said,” If I beat your Ludicolo you would torture it for losing. I don’t think I could stand for you to torture one Pokemon if I was just doing it to save another.”

“Oh just drop the goodie goodie crap”, Carter said somewhat annoyed, “If it makes you feel better I’ll promise not to use my crappy Pokemon for training on if you win.”

Hearing those words seemed to lift Mike’s spirit somewhat. Sure he wasn’t out of the woods yet. But it also made Mark angry. Carter had been so sarcastic and uncaring. He had said that he wouldn’t hurt as if it wouldn’t matter if he did it or not. It made Mike sick.

“ Houndour use Crunch attack to knock down Ludicolo’s special defense! “Mike shouted suddenly! Houndour charged down the fields center. Its Crunch attack hit Ludicolo’s shoulder causing him to be thrown slightly off balance. Carter was not expecting such a fast paced attack and seemed to be just a shaken as his Pokemon. Mike decided to take advantage of this opening.

“Houndour use your Flamethrower“, Mike yelled to his Pokemon who at this point was far across the field.

Unfortunately as the attack was fired Carter seemed to snap out of his daze.

“Ludicolo block his puny fire attack with Water Sport!” Carter countered,” It was a good move but an expected one. Houndour had been ready and ducked beneath the Water Sport attack all the while making sure that she was still firing a steady stream of flame. By the time Ludicolo saw Houndour coming under its attack it was already feeling the burn. But Carter was unphased.

“Ludicolo while its at close range fire a Hydro Pump!” Carter ordered his Pokemon. The attack was fired right in Houndour’s direction and it was obvious that it would be impossible to miss.

“Houndour quickly use Smog so the attack doesn’t hit you full force!”, cried Mike. Houndour pulled the maneuver off seamlessly firing streams of smog from its nostrils and creating a cloud. Mike knew that Houndour would be hit but would not be badly hurt.

Ludicolo stared into the smog trying to train its eyes on Houndour’s location.

“Houndour while it still can’t see you fire a couple Flamethrowers out of the smog!” Ludicolo was unable to dodge the attacks because Houndour was constantly moving within the cloud. Ludicolo fell over as the final Flamethrower hit its body

“Ludicolo get up and use Fake out”, commanded Carter. Houndour’s timing couldn‘t have been worse. He had just burst from the smog quite close to Ludicolo hoping to launch a sneak attack. But instead Houndour tripped over itself and stumbled to the ground.

“Ludicolo finish it with Hydro Pump!” shouted Carter.

“I‘ll be the one finishing it.” said Mike, “Houndour jump up and clamp onto its head with Bite.” Houndour held on extra tight and easily dodged the attack.

“Now use Flamethrower to finish it!” Mike shouted in triumph. The attack hit Ludicolo’s head at full force. Houndour unclamped his jaw and Ludicolo fell to the ground unconscious.

The battle was over. Ludicolo and Carter were beaten. And Onix was free.

Pika57
07-02-2005, 02:17 PM
Carter fell to the ground. From Mike’s side of the field it appeared he was sobbing. But Suddenly he straightened up and looked right a Mike.

“I’ve made a decision”, he said smugly, “ instead of injuring my Pokemon when I lose I think I’ll just get revenge on the trainer. With that Carter returned Ludicolo and ran deep into the woods. It was a long time before Mike saw him again.

Mike looked up at Onix and watched it groan in pain from its wounds. He used some spray medicine on several of Onix’s larger cuts. But otherwise he was unable to help it. It was just to big and most rock types need special medicines due to their hard skin being unable to absorb it well.

Mike thought about the Pokemon center in the town that he had came from but he realized it was hopeless. He could never move Onix that far alone. He wondered how Carter had moved it when he needed it healed.

“That’s obvious”, Mike thought, “ He’d probably just put it in a Pokeball.” Then it hit him. Carter had set his Onix free. He could catch it now and take it to the Pokemon center that way.

But when Mike searched his backpack he came up empty. He had never tried to catch Pokemon before today. So he had never needed any Pokeballs besides Houndour’s.

Mike looked up at the sky now filled with a beautiful sunset which did nothing if not reflect the opposite of how Mike felt.

But suddenly Mike came up with an idea.

“ Houndour come over here quick!”, he shouted. Mike quickly wrote a message on a piece of paper which he handed to Houndour.

“ Go back to the town we came from and give this to Nurse Joy”, he quickly said, “I’ll stay here with Onix.

Houndour was always quick to obey his trainer and this time was no exception. As soon as Mike had finished talking he was gone, like a black lightning bolt through the quickly darkening trees.

Meanwhile Mike sat by Onix’s side trying to comfort it. He tried to get it to eat some Pokeblocks he had made recently, but Onix was either not hungry or in too much pain for it to respond. It started to rain lightly and Onix seemed to cringe with every drop that hit it. It had only been two hours since Houndour had left but even if it had reached the center it would take at least an hour to get back in any kind of motorized vehicle.

Suddenly from somewhere in the underbrush, Mike could hear a faint rustling. It was slowly growing closer. And all of the sudden Mike could see it clearly. It was Ludicolo. It slowly approached Mike worried that it may be attacked.

“What are you doing here?”, Mike asked.

The Ludicolo held out its hands.

“Ludicolo colo Lud!”, It said revealing that in its hands it held a few bushels of a berry called a Sitrus Berry. When fed to Pokemon they could help to heal it of any damage it had taken.

“Thanks Ludicolo”, Mike said looking up from the berries. But Ludicolo had left. Mike could see it in the distance moving back through the underbrush the same way it had come.

Mike was careful to put only one berry into Onix’s mouth at a time. Onix looked better with every berry that he gave it. By the time he had fed it all the berries, Onix was trying to get up. It didn’t have enough strength recovered yet but he could tell it felt better. After a minute of struggling to rise Onix gave up and slept.

“Hoowwwlll”, Houndour howled into the air loudly as Nurse Joy pulled the jeep up to the rest hut. Houndour pulled Nurse joy back towards the clearing where Onix and Mike were. Mike was awake and had heard the howl, but had stayed with Onix in case it woke while he was asleep.

“Is everyone okay”, asked Nurse Joy who had started examining Onix.

“Yeah I’m fine”, said Mike.” Just a little tired and wet.

***

Mike sat at a campfire that Houndour had started and watched as Nurse joy examined Onix.

“Don’t worry”, she said when she noticed his staring, “ Those Sitrus Berries seemed to do the trick. After a nights rest, and some medicine Onix should be fine.”

Mike looked up at Onix. What would it do now? It didn’t naturally live in forests. It may not be able to find enough food. He stared at Onix’s face and saw one of its eyes open it stared into Mike’s saying “Thank you.”

He didn’t want to leave Onix. But then again who said he had too.

***

Mike wasn’t sure when he had fallen asleep that night but he knew that he woke up in the rest hut with Houndour at his side. Near his head he found a note. It Read:
Mike,
Got an urgent call from Blissey at the Center. A ton of injured Pokemon had been brought in. Onix should be able to go about its business today. I left food outside for Onix and some food for you and Houndour to eat on your journey. I also left a little gift in case you wanted to make a new friend
See Ya!

Mike looked across the room. Leaning against one of the shacks walls was a bag stuffed with food But what had caught Mike’s attention was something that seemed then more valuable then food. It was a Heavy Ball.

***


Mike and Houndour both stood on one side of the field. Meanwhile Onix had positioned itself on the opposite side. Mike had half been expecting Onix to turn down the challenge. However the rock type had been expecting it. In fact Mike was pretty sure it wanted to be his Pokemon. The battle was just a time honored ritual.

“Onix are you ready”, Mike shouted to the gargantuan rock snake.

“Onix Oni Onix”, Onix replied. In its trademark gravelly voice.

“ Alright. Houndour use your Crunch attack.”, shouted Mike. The attack hit Onix square in the chest but did remarkably little damage. Onix then used rock throw on Houndour when Houndour landed doing serious damage.

“ Houndour dodge his attacks! I’ll try and come up with a plan” Mike shouted. This was bad. Onix’s defense was much higher then mike had expected. But a Crunch attack doing nothing! That was extreme. I f He couldn’t think of a plan quick it was over. At that moment. Houndour dodged a Skull Bash attack Onix had used and caused Onix to slam its head into the ground.

“ Houndour while he’s dazed use Flamethrower in his mouth!” shouted Mike. The attack did a lot of damage but they couldn’t count on it working again. Onix would continue to keep his mouth shut from now on and he would be unable to be hit in that way. But they had learned something.

“ Houndour head toward that tree!” Mike shouted to his Pokemon. Houndour broke into a mad dash forward running directly for the tree. Mike watched as Onix gave chase charging for a powerful Skull Bash.
Soon Houndour had reached the tree and found their was no way up or around it. Onix was just behind.

“Houndour quickly jump to one side and use Flamethrower on the trees base!”, Mike shouted triumphantly.
The trees base caught fire and it slowly began to knaw through to the trunk. Onix was too large to stop its attack and slammed into the tree. Slowly the tree began to fall. Onix was flattened beneath it, not hurt very badly but trapped.

“Onix’ Oni Oni “, It grunted as it tried to lift the heavy log. Exactly what Mike had been waiting for.

“ Houndour flamethrower in its mouth again”, shouted Mike.

“HOUUUUNDDOOOUUUR”, Houndour shouted triumphantly as the attack made a direct hit inside Onix’s mouth.

“Onix your mine” said Mike” Heavy Ball Go!

The Heavy Ball hit Onix’s forehead and absorbed him in a red light.

The ball shook slightly until…..

***



I don't really know if this will work or not. I think I could Improve it but I want to see what needs improving first.

This is my first story so if you want to go easy on me go ahead


Please grade this quickly. I really need the Onix

The Elite Ygseto
07-02-2005, 09:35 PM
Story- I liked it, remined me of the time Ash got Charmander.
18/20

Grammar/Spelling/Detail- Grammer was great, along with the spelling. The detail was clear and easy to understand, but there is always room for improvment.
18/20

Relism- I can see it, so good.
15/20

Battle-This was shorter than i expected, but you also had the one with Carter, so it kinda evens out. I would like more attacks from both Houndoor and Onix.
15/20

Legnth- Good amount.
18/20

Outcome- 84/100 = Onix Captured! It was a very injoyable story, can't wait till your next one.

Pika57
07-02-2005, 09:38 PM
Thanks Ygesto