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Old 05-07-2007, 07:14 PM
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Default Re: Crime and Punishment (PG-13ish)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Geoffreys-Darkness View Post
Hmm. Pretty good, so far. It's a good start, but you could at least tell me what town/city they were in, and what type of ghosts were there. Also, Pokemon need to be capitalized! They're like names, sort of. Overall, I'd give this beginning an 8.5/10.
Actually, I disagree. You don't really need to know where you live in the very first chapter. After all, Eiyoko is using a POV that closely follows Colin, and I'm sure if you were he, you wouldn't be thinking about your hometown all the time. You can go for days without naming it in your mind.

Also, Pokemon species don't really need to be capitalized. Its all the way you do it. I capitalize them, but I'm okay with the other way. As long as you keep it consistent.

[Will review when I get home, and will edit it in.]
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