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Old 10-22-2008, 06:01 PM
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Default Re: Staring Death In The Face {PG 13}


There are still some mistakes, and some new ones from when you added things.

"Jeff, I actually caught it". "Now I have some more Pokemon."
It's the same person speaking, so keep it in the same quotation marks.

and blue jean’s Trousers.
'Jeans' doesn't need an apostrophe, since you only use apostrophes when:

a) A letter is being ommitted (e.g does not = doesn't, can not = can't)
b) Something belongs to someone else. (e.g. Jack's hat, Sarah's top)

Also, 'trousers' shouldn't be capitalised.

For others, it's just the fact that I explained them, but you only changed the ones I gave examples for.

Also, the description is still sub-standard. You only added in description for Adam, which still left the others feeling bland.

Put a tiny little more effort in, and you can have him, but Machop NOT Captured! Undo the bolding of things youchanged last time, and bold face anything that becomes new.
MK + Trainer17 = Evil twins | MK + Leo = BFFs
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