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Old 10-22-2008, 06:01 PM
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Default Re: Staring Death In The Face {PG 13}

Re-Grade:

There are still some mistakes, and some new ones from when you added things.

Quote:
"Jeff, I actually caught it". "Now I have some more Pokemon."
It's the same person speaking, so keep it in the same quotation marks.

Quote:
and blue jean’s Trousers.
'Jeans' doesn't need an apostrophe, since you only use apostrophes when:

a) A letter is being ommitted (e.g does not = doesn't, can not = can't)
b) Something belongs to someone else. (e.g. Jack's hat, Sarah's top)

Also, 'trousers' shouldn't be capitalised.

For others, it's just the fact that I explained them, but you only changed the ones I gave examples for.

Also, the description is still sub-standard. You only added in description for Adam, which still left the others feeling bland.

Put a tiny little more effort in, and you can have him, but Machop NOT Captured! Undo the bolding of things youchanged last time, and bold face anything that becomes new.
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