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Old 02-20-2009, 08:21 AM
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Scytherwolf Offline
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Hiding from metal coats...
Posts: 6,989
Default Re: Through The Eyes Of A Flareon - The wait is no more--here's chapter four!

Another good chapter! First, I'll show the mistakes I found:

Pokémon were used like that too often, but it could have been very possible.
This sounds kind of weird...did you mean to put 'weren't' instead of 'were', or 'and' instead of 'but'?

I span around, facing the tree once again.

Those were the only ones I saw^^ I'm starting to think that what Roarake meant when he talked to Dusty before was that, if she had lost the battle, Team Rocket might have considered her too weak and not tried to capture her, and that's why he kept fighting. But I might be wrong xD

I thought the meowth idea was interesting-that's a neat idea to have pokémon trained to talk in Team Rocket, and from the way the meowth was acting, I'm guessing that the meowth are treated better than their other pokémon?

I'm also glad that Dusty couldn't just fight her way out-it's much more interesting to see what will happen after she gets captured.

*waits patiently for the next chapter*

Thanks to Lunar Latias for the banner and Kirimori for the picture!

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