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Old 09-13-2009, 04:20 AM
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Charmander009 Offline
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Celestia Region
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Default Re: The Canalave Library: Historian's Corner

Eeek! Sorry about that. *takes out torch to vanquish the offensive 'H'*

Anywho, you don't need to post your story here. It only goes in the Library. Great peace though. ^^ If I could just point out some things . . .

Just as he was about to ask them what they wanted to play, Trippy Picked Magikarp up with the hand on the end of her tail, and threw him to Slippy. they batted him back and forth for a while, then threw him far out in the deep of the pond and left. "That's it! I've had enough of this!" So he devised a plan. The next day, Trippy and Slippy cma back. Magikarp gleefully swam up to them.
That 'they' needs to be capitilized. Then the other bolded part . . . I think you meant to put 'came' there.
Also, make sure that you make a new paragraph whenever someone talks ^^

"Hey, you know what would be fun?" Magikarp said with a sly grin. "Wrap me up in packaging paper and put me in the mailbox."
The Aipoms grinned. No one had ever suggested a
prank, but they couldn't resist. Before you could say "Regigigias rap", Magikarp was wrapped and in the mailbox, patiently waiting for the second part of his plan. When the mail Pelipper came in the morning, he was rather suprised when a package talked to him!
How did this sentance get off like that? Perhaps you should go back and backspace infront of 'prank'.

Thanks for your contribution!
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