View Single Post
Old 01-08-2010, 07:08 PM
Charmander009's Avatar
Charmander009 Offline
WFL Official
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Celestia Region
Posts: 3,006
Send a message via AIM to Charmander009
Default Re: The Canalave Library: Historian's Corner

Okay, let's take a look-see

Here's some friendly editing tips:

He had made it to the top of Mount Coronet from Kanto
Er, when I read this, I was all like: "Mount Coronet? That's not in Kanto!" ... then I got what you meant there. xD May I suggest changing this sentance so that others don't misinterpret it? Perhaps something along the lines of: "From his humble home in Kanto, the Ditto traveled to the peak of Mount Coronet far within Sinnoh" or something. ^^

“Arceus.” He spoke. “Please change me, I don’t like how I am a Pokemon who does nothing.”
Okay, so this is a mistake you made throughout. Remember that after the person speaks, you must put a comma instead of a period before continueing on to "he spoke". So, dialogue should look like this:

"Words words," he/she said. "Words words words."

Unless you use an exclamation mark or question mark. ^^

“How on Mew are you a Turtwig?”
Er, you better change the 'on' to 'by'. o0

So, this is a pretty cute story. With some practice, you can become a pretty good writer. Feel free to post in the Library. ^^

Reply With Quote