Today will be different, it has to be. I will smile, and it will be believable. My smile will say 'I'm fine, thank you. Yes, I feel much better.' I will no longer be the sad little girl who lost her parents. I will start fresh, be someone new. It's the only way I'll make it through.
Ashley Gilbert looked over at the clock, seeing that it read 5:55 AM. She was already dressed and ready for school. Her hair was perfectly straight and flowed lightly down her back; she wore a low cut red t-shirt with a snowy white tank top underneath, dark blue tattered jeans and black converse sneakers. On her neck laid an golden locket with a picture of her adoptive parents inside which her mother gave to her for her birthday only days before they died. Ashley never leaves the house without it. On her right wrist lays a silver bracelet that her friend Bonnie gave to her; though Ashley has no idea that Vervain is inside it. Ashley packed up her diary in her school bag and walked over to the mirror, taking a deep breath as she looked into her own reflection. The first day of school wasn't going to start till seven, but Ashley had other stops to make. She walked downstairs and found her aunt and her twin brother Jeremy eating a bagel in the kitchen, both of them still in their pajamas.
"You're up and ready early." Jeremy said as Ashley grabbed a package of blueberry Poptarts and a cold bottle of water. In the living room the News was on but the TV was on mute. It showed that a couple was attacked by some animal during the night...
"Yeah I have a couple of stops to make. Can you take your car to school today?" Ashley asked as she turned around and looked at him.
"Yeah sure. Where are you going?"
"Giving mom and dad a visit." Ashley then walked out of the house and headed to her car. In the driveway was an blue Mitsubishi Eclipse GTS Spyder which was Ashley's, and an silver Mitsubishi Lancer OZ rally, which was Jeremy's. Both of them were beautiful racing cars that the the twins use for drag racing. Ashley got into her car and drove away to the graveyard. She parked her car and walked over towards the back, visiting her parents for about fifteen minutes. When she was finished she got back into her car and drove to the lake where the car had crashed off the bridge. When she got out, Ashley grabbed her bag and walked over to a huge rock where she sat down, looking out onto the water. The bright sun reflected off the lake and made it look so beautiful. It's been three and a half months since her parent's death. She doesn't show it on the outside, but on the inside, she's hurting really badly. When ever someone would ask Ashley how's she's doing, she would always lie and get away with it perfectly since she was a good liar. She has to be so she can face people. With a deep breath Ashley took out her diary and began to write again.
Something awful is going to happen today.
I don't know why I wrote that. It's crazy. There's no reason for me to be upset and every reason for me to be happy but...
But here I am at 6:30 in the morning , awake and scared. I keep telling myself it's just that I'm all messed up from the lack of sleep I've been getting lately. But that doesn't explain why I feel so scared. So lost.
The day before yesterday, while my aunt Jenna and my brother Jeremy and I were driving back from the food store, I had such a strange feeling. When we turned onto our street I suddenly thought, "Mom and Dad are waiting for us at Jenna's house. I bet they're on the front porch or in the living room looking out the window."
I know. That's totally crazy.
But even when I saw the house and the empty front porch I still felt that way. I ran up the steps and tried to call for them in my head, but nothing. I had let out a sigh and helped put away all the food. And then after when we were finished and when I walked up to my room, the most horrible feeling I've ever felt in my life came over me. I've never felt so utterly and completely lost.
Home. I'm home. This is my new home now. Why does that sound like a lie?
I should be happy that I'm with Bonnie now though. All these other people I've never met before, so so far I only have Bonnie and Jeremy to hang out with. I'm not complaining about that though. Jeremy and I start our first day of high school today, so we should be able to meet some new people. This is my chance for a fresh clean start... But right now everything looks strange to me, as if I don't belong here. It's me that's out of place. And the worst thing is that I feel there's somewhere I do belong, but I just can't find it.
Ashley looked up at the water again, watching as the ripples of the lake gently flowed up on the cool sand. She then placed her diary away and took out her breakfast, eating it as she looked out at the beautiful water that was so peaceful. Since she still had a little bit more time before school started she continued to just sit there and think. Ashley tried to remember how she got out of the lake, but the memory was so fuzzy. There was no way that she made it out of there by herself. Someone...or something had to of pulled her out..