Thread: [Pokemon] The Path of Destiny (PG/PG-13)
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Old 01-01-2011, 02:21 AM
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Graceful_Suicune Offline
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Default Re: The Path of Destiny (PG/PG-13)

Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
Okay, a new chapter is finally done! This one took a while due to writer's block, but I finally got it finished. (Thank you Pikachu's Great Adventure for being inspiring.) And wow, 50th chapter. When I started this story, I had no idea The Path of Destiny would turn out this long. And there's still such a long way to go. o:

This chapter started turning out longer than I thought, so some of the stuff that was going to be in this chapter will have to be in the next one. I know not a lot happens, but the some of the stuff in this one is important. I hope it at least gives you something to wonder about.
WOOOOOOOOOT! I'm so happy you got it finished! ^v^ (xDDD It's awesome that was such a big help. But all the while, I'm not surprised!) Hehe, congrats on the big five-zero. Even though not a lot happened, it was still a really interesting chapter. :D

Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
Redclaw seemed happier than Snowcrystal had seen him lately; he would often run on ahead, then double back to circle the trainers.
THAT'S SO CUTE!!!!!!! xDDDDDDDD I love this image.

Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
A young human child was running toward Katie, Damian, and the pokémon with an excited look on its face. “Ninetales!” she shouted, reaching out her arms. “Mommy, he has a ninetales!”
xDDDDDDDD The girl! *remembers the excerpt you showed me*

Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
Instead, she tried to lunge toward the little human, but Damian pushed her back with his leg. Rosie replied by biting it.
xDDDDDDDDDDDD I remember this too!

Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
He seemed like he was trying to sound cheerful, but he sounded in pain.
xDDDD Haha, aww, poor Damian. Dx

Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
“Abigail, what do you think you’re doing?
Abigail. *giggles* That's such a cute name for a little girl. xDD Also, you put a singular quotation mark at the end instead of a double mark.


Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
and Snowcrystal heard a few odd sounds and then they stepped into what she realized must be the metal door. Suddenly she felt a horrifying sensation, like the floor itself was moving. She had no clue what kind of room they were in or if something was going horribly wrong, but she had the sense not to move or make any sounds.
I really love how you described the elevator! It's a really cool description, and at first I had no idea what was happening. xDDDDD But soon after I realised. x)


Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
Damien set down the backpack and opened it before kneeling down as well.
Wow, his spelling suddenly changed. xD

Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
When they reached the doors that led outside and the other pokémon, Snowcrystal was surprised when no one asked her questions.
There should be a 'to' between 'and' and 'the'.

Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
She just hoped that somehow, she would be able to help make things right…not just for Stormblade, but for everyone who’s lives her quest had changed.
Should be 'whose'.

Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
(Jake the eevee was another reference to one of my old stories. An eevee named Jake was a character in a story I wrote in November 2006. Also, the part with Stormblade at the end was written when I was really sad about something, so I guess that was a good scene to write then. I'm going to try and write this and Mind Whisperer more often so there isn't such a huge gap in the chapters again. ^^; Hopefully I'll have better luck with the next chapter. )
Haha, yay for references to stories! 8D I love doing things like that. x) Aw, well I guess it was a good time to write it. :( It was a sad scene. Well don't rush. We all know how long I take to write a chapter. xDDD

Well that was really cool. c: I'm so happy they finally got to go see Stormblade and Nightshade... But it was really sad. D: I almost feel like there was no point to it, and I think Snowcrystal felt that way too, to a degree. I mean, Stormblade must have been really happy to see Snow again, and to know about everything so far must be a relief for him, rather than being kept in the dark. Now that I think about it, it is a good thing that Nightshade and Stormblade are in different hospitals. Because Stormblade doesn't know about what Thunder did to Nightshade, and if he found out...I don't know how he'd react. D:

But what I meant by I feel like there wasn't much point in them visiting him was that, well...well Snow got to talk to him, but he didn't really reply. Like, he must have been so overwhelmed by what happened to Thunder that he couldn't have replied. I also wonder if he blames himself a little for not being able to be there to help her, since he's been there (whether it was futilely or not is another question) for her in the past at times. It really saddens me that he didn't reply to Snowcrystal, and I know he couldn't to a point because of his injuries and the amount of pain he'd be in, but I dunno... I think Snow felt like she was doing something really good by visiting, and she probably thought it would make him happy to be able to see her again. Yet the only thing that came from it was something bad. Or, a few bad things... And ouch, I feel so sorry for Stormblade... To be crippled for so long like that, and for him to have to be taken care of must really hurt his pride, as well as all the physical pain. Dx And on top of that, he can't see his friends (unless they fit in backpacks xD) and I doubt he gets much social contact at all. The nurses would have no time to accompany every pokemon, even once in a while, and therefore he must be chronically lonely, despite having so many pokemon around him. D:

As for Nightshade, well he doesn't have it much better. I mean, his bed is much more open, so he would feel like he's having more contact, though I doubt he is. His wounds must really hurt too. Dx But his wounds seem more treatable, and at least he's able to talk more. I guess that helps. o: But he was happy they all came to see him, so that's good. =)

About Thunder...well, seeing things from her point of view was certainly interesting, and very engaging. I thought all the things she was thinking about the hierarchy were intriguing, and even though you explained it to me already, it's really cool to read it from her point of view. I think everything about Nightshade and wondering if she really should have done it or not was sad, because obviously she regrets doing it, even if it's just a little. I'm really glad she's at least saying that maybe he was actually trying to help without any personal gain, and that maybe they were friends after all. Because maybe is better than a solid no! But really... It's so sad she's captured. When she was talking about how she blew her chance at permanent freedom I felt really sad. She's right, and she knows she was the one who screwed it all up, yet she didn't really mean to. I think she's softer than she knows (xDD) and I really like seeing things from her point of view. I'm glad I got to see things her way, because it feels like I understand her even a tiny bit more now. She thinks so different to how she's portrayed by any of the other pokemon, which I find really cool and interesting. o: I hope I get to see more of her soon, and I'm glad we did after a few chapters!

I see how everything works now... It's so interesting that Master is one of those really rare trainers who CAN whip his pokemon, and who can do practically anything with them. And in response, he still has "fiercely loyal" pokemon, which means he has more power over them, as well as protection from any pokemon who tries to strike back, like what was mentioned.

I'm not surprised Thunder refused to play his game, because she doesn't seem like the kind of character to do so, and I'm glad she didn't! Though it's still really frustrating that he finds it amusing she refuses, yet he'd find it amusing if she did. So it's a win/win situation for him either way, because...either way, he's still got control over her, and can manipulate her with his coercive power. It's so evil...yet it works for him. I guess he'd be REALLY happy with himself and very proud, because if you think about it, he was once that scrawny trainer with a weak starter to everyone laughed at, and now he's probably one of the best trainers around, evil or not. As well as that, he had to start somewhere, and look where it's gotten him. I reckon the fact that he learned that he could gain all he wanted by treating his pokemon in any way he wanted has definitely encouraged him, and therefore he probably figures that's the only way he can get such power over his pokemon. Although, it's not like he wouldn't want to do that, because he doesn't care about his pokemon's welfare (unless they're dying and important battlers, of course) and therefore figures it wouldn't matter how he treated them... Just as long as he gets the power and wealth he wants.

You know, I reckon Master likes power more than he likes money. And he loves the fact that people fear him, and that he is the one people would "look up" to, I guess--well, the people who strive to be like him, anyway. But wow...he's someone you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley. O_o And I have a feeling that if he was killed, his pokemon wouldn't stop until each of them got revenge and then...they'd kill each other. O_o And if they didn't kill each other, they'd kill themselves trying to survive in the wild. Or...imagine if trainers tried to capture them. *GAPS* I don't think many pokemon could stand up to one of Master's pokemon, let alone a human. Dx They'd be slaughtered the moment his pokemon looked at them. Dx

I could kind of actually see Snow running away and trying to do this by herself, especially since she blames herself. However, since it affects Blazefang too, him being the one with a Forbidden Attack and all, that would be a bit silly. xD But I understand how she could blame herself, however unnecessary it is. But at the same time, if anyone should be blamed for Stormblade's unfortunate condition, we all know it should be Blazefang. I also nearly forgot about Scytheclaw's Forbidden Attack...and how it's Stormblade's last hope. I realise that Scytheclaw will probably never agree to help unless he was on the verge of death or something, and I wonder if...well if he did do it, would it cause him pain for a long period of time, or just for the time he was healing? o: It would be really interesting if he gained the burns, though I know that wouldn't happen because of what happened to that pidgey he healed by mistake. xD

I'm definitely looking forward to more, and I hope they find something really cool in the library! :D It's really good you were able to finish this. Pikachu's Great Adventure definitely is an awesome game, and it's really cool it managed to inspire us! 8D
Everyone who's still stuck here, Pe2k is Dead. It's sad, but it happened. Instead, we moved to...

Pokemon Crossroads!
Pe2k's spiritual successor! :D I'm Suicune's Fire there.

Last edited by Graceful_Suicune; 01-01-2011 at 02:28 AM.
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