Re: Jenn's Platinum Nuzlocke run - new.
I was really tempted to play as a boy so that I didn't run around Sinnoh looking like a skank-oid, but I'd already made the thread entitled "Jenn's Platinum Nuzlocke run" and I wasn't going to be a boy named Jenn. xD So I picked Dawn even though I hate her hair and let Prof. Rowan check me out like a pedo. I also keep getting text messages from Facebook as Barry is blabbing about the Television show I pretended to watch. Yeah, I named him Barry because I'm an original bastard. Then Barry's ADD kicked in and he began checking his Myspace from my computer, then I called him a homo for still using Myspace like a ghetto prostitute. He ran out of my room yelling something about how he was fining me 10 million dollars. Cool story, bro. As I was leaving my room, I decided to read a poster I had on my wall, "The X Button opens the menu!" Yeah, no shit. I went downstairs and my mom yelled at me for making Barry cry and sent me to apologize. THEN she had the nerve to rub the fact that I have no Pokemon in my face. Thanks, mom.
; ________ ;
So I ran away, determined to make my mom rue the day she ever slept with that professional juggler at the street fair. I went outside to a town where there was snow on the ground and didn't think about changing out of my tiny dress. I walked over (because I'm 10 and I don't know how to run yet) to Barry's house, and he came at me like a horny alpaca, which was great considering I was really in the mood. I followed him into his house and ran right up to his room, where he was checking Myspace. Again. >_______> What a douche. My arousal gone, I fled his house, walking right by his mother, which was totally awkward, then I proceeded to write an awkwardly structured sentence on my escapades.
After that, I left town, listening to emo music as I was playing the violin on my wrist with a razor because I couldn't find my bow. Barry spewed some logic at me about how if you sprint really fast a wild Pokemon won't attack you yet every show on Animal planet states that you shouldn't run from predators because they'll just want to chase you more and that you should out-stretch your arms and yell to scar them off. So... Barry is a dipshit. I hung around, just to watch him get mauled by a wild Bidoof as an old guy yelled at us about how wandering in the tall grass without Pokemon was bad. Then he turned his back to us, probably to give himself a wank, and asked us some questions. I just kept pressing the A button. He said something about never recklessly endangering ourselves again and I was, like, "Dude, we're a couple of ten-year-old kids who haven't even learned how to do long division and you want us to explore a whole ******* country? What the hell are you smoking?!"
Then some guy walks up with a briefcase and the old guy tells us to pick a Pokemon. I look at Barry who's like, "Herp, I'm a man now, ladies first." Why I oughta... I pick Chimchar even though it's ugly as all hell and look at Barry who says, "Well, since you picked the Fire-type, I'll be a massive dickhole and pick the Water-type. Loooove youuuu~!" T_______T Some BFF. The old guy talked some more and invited us to join him in his pedo mansion, then skipped off with Lucas trailing behind.
Barry then attacked me, literally. He sent out his penguin and I, my monkey. They both stood there, like, "Derrrrp." <w> I kicked Chimchar, whom I named Vigilance, and uttered my first command. The battle progressed as such:
Leer, Growl, Leer, Growl, Scratch, Growl, Scratch, Growl, Scratch, Growl, Scratch, Growl, Leer, Pound, Scratch, Pound, Scratch, Pound, Scratch. Then Piplup died and Vigilance leveled up. Hoo, hah!
I went back into town with Barry and took a nap. My mom yelled at me for potentially getting hurt, yet she supported me going on an adventure by giving me the Running Shoes. I think she's going through menopause...
Vigilance/Chimchar ♂ (Starter)
Lv. 6 - Blaze.
Last edited by 3m0d0ll; 06-22-2011 at 04:49 AM.