Thread: [Pokemon] Tears of the Prophesy
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Old 08-24-2012, 01:11 AM
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Default Re: Tears of the Prophesy

First off I'd like to thank you so much for pointing out those mistakes of mine. It went without proofreading so I knew there would be some. It is much appreciated.

I have always had a bit of a hard time with descriptions. I've either put too little or too much. It has been a while since I've tried to write a story like this, so I wasn't sure. I know I wanted to describe Spinel entirely since I planned on skipping over the part when she's preparing for her journey so I wouldn't have to go back and go into more detail later on unless her outfit changes. For other characters I'll be sure to remember that I don't need to describe every detail in their first appearance and just give enough for their basic image.

I didn't really notice that, but I can see now how that will be a problem. As the writer I can easily see what Pokemon it is, but as a reader it is a different story. I failed to see from that point of view. I'm still not sure how you could see a mix between a Stoutland and Umbreon, but everyone's imagination is different. I'll be sure to put this advice into immediate use.

For Spinel's speaking ability, I do have a plot plan for it. I did not put that in there to be like every other trainer story. However I don't want to spoil it. In this universe it is an uncommon trait, plus for a bit of background I will say that Spinel has never left New Bark Town. She hasn't had the opportunity to meet other trainers who could have this ability. There will be other characters that have it that will appear as the story progresses, as to why she has it herself.

I wasn't aware that the font I used was difficult for some to read. I guess that's because I can read it so easily. However with its current size I can see it being a little hard for others to read. I'll look through the fonts and choose one that would be better to use, since personally I'd rather not use the default font setting.

Again I thank you for all your constructive critics, Giratina. It feels good that you like the way I write, and everything you pointed out and explained will help me become a better writer overall instead of just for this story. I do hope that when I post the second chapter to this story that you will read it and see that everything you said was taken to heart and less little mistakes were made, if any at all.

EDIT: The errors and advice you pointed out for the first chapter have been fixed and put into place., other than taking out some of the details about Spinel's outfit since I'd like to keep those in the first chapter.
Crystal Momoyia

Lv100 @ 7896

Last edited by CM; 08-24-2012 at 01:32 AM.
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