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Old 09-08-2012, 04:45 AM
VGBM Offline
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 27
Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG] - Book Two

I know this isn't really my "job" per say, but…

Quote:
Originally Posted by Graceful_Suicune View Post
“Those weak, cowardly, frail-minded [i]desecrators[i] are in no way associated with my brothers and sisters,”
you forgot a / on the second I there.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Graceful_Suicune View Post
“So do I,” another female rhyhorn admitted and, with a snort, the leader increased the intensity of her glare. However, before she could speak, more raised their voices, beginning to lumber to the initial rebel. The numbers began to rise, to the others’ horror, and soon half the herd had sided with Jaskore.
NO! And things were finally going to be resolved peacefully! Why must you torture these characters so?! :P

Quote:
Originally Posted by Graceful_Suicune View Post
I wondered what the fight could be about as I watched on, momentarily reminded of the ship.
Hey, I was reminded of the ship too. Mostly because of how long this is taking.

Anyway, great chapter. I'm glad to see things are actually progressing (kind of) and, as always, I can't wait to see what happens next.