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Old 08-11-2006, 05:49 AM
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Seawolf Offline
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Illium
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Default Re: Between The Lines

Reserving stories isn't allowed, so I'll take over from here.

Story: Very nice. It has a basic plot (you run after a robber and then battle the wild Pokemon you've wanted for days), but it was done well. As a first story, I'm pretty impressed. The Pokemon were also given much personality, which added to their character.

Spelling/Grammar: Little to no errors. I ran this through a spell-check, but nothing came up. You certainly know your grammar and how to write. However, I think beginning sentences with "but" is incorrect. Very minor mistake, though.

Description: Wonderful. Both the plot and battles were fleshed out, making them more exciting and really giving more to this story as a whole. I really like your style of writing. Things like "burning barrier" to describe an attack by the Arcanine were just one of the little details that made this enjoyable to read.

Length: Seems close to 30,000 characters, which is perfect for our little mantis.

Battle: Great, especially the description you use! I think it could have been a bit longer for a rare Pokemon like this, but what you had was good enough, in my opinion. Very nice work.

Outcome: Scyther captured! Please tell me you will add more.
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