Thread: Ocean of Chac
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Old 02-17-2007, 07:38 AM
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Default Re: Inferno Island

Inferno Island. Interesting idea for wild fire Pokemon.

There weren’t a lot of specific details in the overall story. It was okay, but I think you could have done better. Especially in the battle, that’s where it hurt the most.


I made a mental note to thank him
This one was the same, except it had a river of lava flowing around the outside, and it was much hotter.
Hotter isn’t really a word. Use “More hot” or “warmer”.
The front part of its read face
“Blaine, he said once the door was closed. How good of you to come.
Missed quotations.
“Well, he is here,” said Blaine.
Well is an introductory phrase here, you need a comma after it.
Anyunkoko got up bruised a battered.

The battle was a little short. Details would have really helped out in describing it and the surroundings. Houndour’s battle was too short; there weren’t enough attacks against it.

Blaine talks in riddles a lot, maybe you should have incorporated that. Just a suggestion.

More description of the surroundings and attacks. The battle for the Pokemon needs to be longer too. Add on a nice battle against Houndour.

Outcome- Houndour Not Captured!

Thanks PE2K for all the memories.

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