Re: Mystery of a World Long Gone - The Unowns Return (mild language)
Chapter 7: We Do it Again
“How’re you doing?” gasped Z. The two Unowns were zooming high speed through the
fortress to find safe, human-free ground.
“Not too good,” muttered J. “That stupid bubblebeam cut me to low yellow HP.”
“I’m going to be OK,” said Z. “I have low green hp. You have to catch up to me, because
I’ll be faster.”
J nodded and peered over its shoulder. “Goddammit!”
“That kid’s following us!”
“Yeah…. So?” Z replied easily. “Unowns can’t be caught. I thought you knew that by now.”
“I knew that,” snapped J. “But what if he picks a battle with us again? We’re on low hp and
we ain’t standing a chance.”
“Don’t worry. You can tell from his eyes he just wants to catch us,” said Z.
“Obviously good at body-language, huh Z?” joked J weakly.
Suddenly, a crystal came into view and J slammed right into it with a sickening crack.
“Crap…” groaned J. “It’s turned red.”
“Your hp?” asked Z.
“Duh. Unowns don’t bleed. I thought you knew that by now,” retorted J cynically.
Both of the Unowns were a good distance away from Brendan. But even though he was
far behind, Brendan had a clear vision of the Pokemon. And when he saw that one of
them had slammed into a crystal and fallen, he also saw his chance.
“Gotta catch em all,” he shouted decisively. Seeing that the Unown had red hp, he figured
he should directly throw a pokeball and see how that went. He grabbed a spare pokeball
around his belt (the universal n00b way of getting a pokeball. Keep spare pokeballs in
your bag.), tossed it up and down several times (even more n00bish. The pokemon could
run away easily.), and kicked at it.
“WHA!?!” croaked Brendan in astonishment. ‘You missed the pokemon!’ His pokedex said.
It’s red hp. How can I miss it? Just then the Unowns propelled back into the air and away
from Brendan. “Right,” he muttered. You forced me to be nice. Well, that’s over. It looks
like you Unowns need another Confusion straight to your brain.
“Cmon!!” squeaked J. “He’s still after us!”
“Yeah, and I can see he’s plotting to faint you,” said Z worriedly. Suddenly its face
“Oh,” said J in realization. “I know that face. The great idea face.”
“You got HIGH red hp, J?” asked Z.
“Use all your power. Try and connect your mind with mine,” commanded Z.
As the distance between them and their ‘persecutor’ decreased, a light blue shield slowly
began to form over the two unowns. It shimmered with an ethereal luster and soon there
was a light blue bubble-sphere fully protecting the pokemon from Brendan.
“Nice plan, Z!” shouted J. “I almost forgot we had that.”
Brendan was right behind the Unowns. “Just one more burst of energy…” He suddenly
lunged forward, trying to take them by surprise. In the few seconds of his ‘takeoff’, the
blue shield came into full view. His head bumped into something flexible, but hard at the
same time. Landing on his ass, he sat and gaped up at the two Unowns taking off into the
far distance. Realizing he was far from any kind of humanity, he began to cry.
The Unowns reached home plate. I mean their base where they were keeping the
“Did you get the Restorer?” asked Y, obviously without hope, considering the condition of
the two unowns as they floated through the door. Beat, battered, tired, and Shielded. It
was an Unown fact of life that Shields should only be used in emergencies.
J and Z, however, were very angry. “You told us they would be pwned by our hidden
powers!” they said, facing Y. “They pwned US!”
“What? How COULD you?” exclaimed Y. “They’re HUMANS! Filthy, Unown-banishing
“Yea. Sure. JUST humans,” said Z as it rolled its eye.
“Humans aint weak, I tell you,” said J, pointing to its head. “See that scar? That’s a mark
of a Bubblebeam and a dominating Luvdisc.”
“Wha…you lost to a LUVDISC!?” whispered Y incredulously.
“And look at Z. It thinks it has a broken leg. But it doesn’t. That’s the result from a
Confusion. I tell you, that Ralts is powerful! Confusion is just that, it confuses,” continued J
breathlessly. As it reached the word ‘confuses’ though, it could tell that Y’s complexion
was turning a dirty green and seemed to be choking on something. It was, actually. It was
choking on humiliation.
“WHAT???” Y finally managed to yell. “YOU’VE DISGRACED THE RACE OF UNOWN!
LUVDISC IS THE POKEMON WITH THE SH**TIEST STATS!”
“But it pwned us!” cried Z.
“AND YOU TOO, Z.” Y was now purple with anger. “That Ralts is the same type as you.
And you lose to it and run away JUST LIKE THAT?”
“Shut it, Y,” said C. “Give ’em a break.”
“Our humiliation for a break. Give ME a break. And YOU don’t tell me to shut up. Who
made you boss here?”
“I was about to ask the same question about YOU. The first day you came you just took
over everything. We didn’t even have a say.”
“Okay, let’s not start a flamewar here,” said P reproachfully. “As Wallace said, we aren’t
on the internet and will never be. Let’s just find another way to deal with all this. We’ll
eventually get the Restorer, right?”
Everyone nodded solemnly. P was always the kind one who tried to make the best of
everything. Even Y didn’t try to disappoint it.
“So. Everyone, I’ve got an idea. It’s a good one, but a bit far-fetched. You tell me when
you don’t follow,” said P.
“Sure. Like you’re the boss here,” commented Y rudely which all the Unowns responded
with a ‘SHHHHHH!’, except C who slapped Y on the face and snapped “B**ch!” Then all
Unown was quiet.
“We’re going to do it again.” P read the six words as if from the declaration of
A 30 second silence for the Unowns.
Finally Q asked, “Do it again?”
“You guys. Don’t tell me you forgot.”
5 second silence.
“Yeah, we forgot,” replied Y. “So? It’s not like it’s a good idea.”
“SHUT UP, Y! B**ch!” This time all the unowns spoke together.
“Okay. You following? Right. Remember last time? With Entei.”
5 second silence. Then the whole “auditorium” sounded with an “Ohhhhh!”
“Which part?” asked Q. “It was so filled with excitement, I remember.”
“Molly wanted to be a pokemon trainer. Right?”
“Entei and us, we helped transform Molly into a teenager and gave her pokemon.”
“And we made battle arenas for her. The underwater one and the beach.”
“May I interrupt for a second,” said Y.
“No you may not,” answered the Unowns.
“Yeah, sure. Well, sarcasm’s my middle name. Um, what exactly does this have to do with
“Maybe not much, I’m afraid,” said P.
“Then ‘Y’ we bother?” joked Y. “Get it? Y? Haha. Heh. Uh.”
“This plot is to do with confusing the humans,” snapped P. “So stop interrupting.”
“YEAH,” agreed the rest.
“We did all that for Molly. Now we have to do it for ourselves.”
1 minute silence took place as the Unowns thought about this.
P broke the silence. “I happen to know,” it said, “the weaknesses to the two guys. Wallace
likes girls, and Brendan is immature for a 12 year old. We target those weaknesses,
challenge them to a pokemon battle, in a snazzy arena of course, and win.”
“We’re going to be Unowns who keep pokemon in their belts?” asked H. “Unown don’t
even have belts.”
“No,” said P. “My point is. We’re going to turn OURSELVES into HUMANS. Just like we
turned Molly into a teenager.”
Y groaned. “You’re NOT turning me. Oh no. Oh no no no. NO WAY.”
“Yea yea yea, whatever,” replied P icily. “As it happens,” it said with an evil glint, “I kept
the biggest and most important job to YOU, yes you, Y. That’s the price of complaining.”
All the Unowns cheered. Especially C.
“Now you’ll see what it’s like to keep all the pressure to yourself, you crak-ed,” laughed
C. “Maybe you’d be easier on your ‘subjects’. F*** off.” The auditorium burst into laughter.
“No, not yet,” said P. “I’m going to assign you your JOBS. You’d better listen up, because
whatever goes wrong in this is going to be ONE person’s fault. So everyone do a good job
and come over here.”
This chapter ends with a wail of “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” from Y.
Last edited by Shiny Loser; 07-12-2007 at 03:14 PM.