Re: Back to the Crystal Fortress - The Unowns Return (mild language)
Chapter 8: The Battles Begin
Boo-hoos floated creepily through the walls of the fortress. It was, of course, Brendan
crying for his mommy. The second his head bumped into the bubble shield, he realized he
should have never left Wallace. (Ew, now that I say that it sounds pretty gross.) Left him
to catch the Unowns, I mean. But of course, once one does something there’s no turning
back. That’s a human fact of life. Unown too, probably. And that’s exactly what Brendan
was thinking. The human part, anyway.
“How could I have been so stupid?” he said to himself. “Where am I? No one’s around…. I
WANT MY MOMMY!!” he cried. “Where’s everyone else? Aren’t there supposed to be
hostages here? HELP!”
Suddenly there was a shimmer of light in the air. A green halo of light slowly took shape
in front of Brendan. A “Wha?” escaped Brendan’s lips and suddenly he couldn’t say much
more than “Toys…”
What was lying in the center of the green halo was toys, largely pokemon action figures.
There were clefairy dolls with twinkling umber eyes, realistic rubber Arbok models for
wrestling with, countless “Ash and his Pikachu” figures. Brendan sat and stared at the
mountain of molded plastic, his eyes growing wider every second… then…
“OMG! OMG! I’M THE LUCKIEST BOY EVER!!” He was totally ecstatic. Then his gaze turned
ambitious. “If I could get hold of all those toys… I’d be the most popular kid in school!”
And of course, off he went at the massive hummock of toys. Grabbing a handful, he threw
them up into the air, leapt onto the mass, and celebrated with a “HIP HIP HOORAY!”
“You’re such a genious, P!” exclaimed N, peering into the surveillance screens, watching
Brendan celebrate over his toys. “How in the world did you know all about them?”
“Careful observation of humans,” replied P. “Unlike that prick over there that completely
refuses to have any interaction with those ‘lowlife homos’.” It gestured to Y, who was in
the corner banging on the wall.
“I’m gonna kill you one day, P,” it was seething as it banged its head on the wall
repeatedly. “I swear to God I’m gonna kill u…”
“Chill out. You’re having this job, no matter what. So no use making yourself injured,”
answered P. “Oh, by the way, the term ‘homo’ is the prefix for Homo sapiens, but it
doesn’t mean ‘human’. It actually means ‘gay human’.”
“Yea, whatever, Word snot,” grumbled Y. “I guess I’d better get going. I don’t want Big
Boss P to get mad at me, do I?”
“Y,” said a bored M. “Why in the world are you such a prick?”
“That’s just the… WHAT DID YOU SAY?”
“You said you’d get going. Now scram,” G shot back. And Y did. With more grumbles.
“Well,” said P calmly, “A is under the toys, and is probably attempting to abduct now. We
just have to wait for a success signal.”
“I’m the luckiest boy ever,” crooned Brendan to his toys. “Don’t you realize how happy
you made me?” The toys did not answer. “Cmon, talk!” Brendan chided. “You can do it.”
“Well well well, I guess you thought wrong, kiddo,” thought A out loud. “Toys don’t talk.
Face the real world.”
“Who’s that?” said Brendan, alarmed. He didn’t hear clearly what the unknown voice said,
so he stopped thinking about it, continuing to swim in the toys.
Seeing an easier way to abduct, A took the chance. “I know how to find your momma,” it
“Huh!?” This time Brendan heard what the voice said. “How?”
“Put the Growlithe slippers on your feet.”
“Yeah.” He picked up the orange footwear from the pile and slipped them on.
“Now close your eyes and count to 5, slowly. Wish that you were back at home, in Hoenn.”
A snickered. This human’s gotta have watched Wizard of Oz a thousand times. And he
even believed it. Later I tell him I’m the tin man, and he’ll get a heart for me. Which I do
lack, it thought, literally AND emotionally.
“One…” counted Brendan.
A floated out from under the toys.
A concentrated its mind with Brendan’s. It could see the innocent, sincere wish of going
back home inside his head. It could see images of Brendan and his mother. It suddenly
occurred to it that it had never seen such loving mother-and-sons after they were twelve.
A felt a twinge of guilt for a split second. Then his mind switched back to business.
The light blue bubble-shield glistened in the sunlight from outside, at the same time
A floated upwards, bringing the bubble with it. “Ooof. Kid’s so heavy…”
But when Brendan opened his eyes, he was no longer on the ground. The mound of toys
was getting smaller and smaller. “What the…” But he wasn’t hallucinating. THEN he got it.
“Oh yeah! I wished to go back to Hoenn! And now I’m flying away from here,” he
said. “Well, pity to have to leave those toys, but at least I’m seeing mommy soon.” He
brightened and looked up at the walls of the bubble. “At least I won’t see those gol-darn
Unowns again. I’m leaving them in this place. They can’t follow me and
GYAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” He had just spotted the Unown carrying the bubble. Duh.
“Well,” grinned A. “You’ll never escape from US. Never. Not with Officer A’s professional
abducting you won’t. Not even in your dreams. But of course, your dreams will still
happen in Da Hizayyyy.”
Wallace had stopped on his mission and sat down on a flat crystal. Of course, he tried to
convince himself that he was tired. But as you, the reader, probably know by now, there
was a certain area in his mind that kept piping messages like “You KNOW you need a real
friend. He is one,” and “Don’t deny yourself all the time. He’s your friend, and for the last
time, YOU’RE GAY” into his consciousness. Now it was saying, “You do know that without
him the mission is boring, right? And that’s why you stopped. Not because your ass is
sore. How can walking make your ass sore?”.
“GOD DAMMIT You’re giving me a HEADACHE!” shouted (thought) Wallace to his inner
voice. “Just stop it and let me rest.”
“No,” countered the voice. “You have to learn to stop lying to yourself. Until then, I won’t
“Okay. You’re gonna have to learn the hard way, I guess,” threatened Wallace to the
voice. He faced a jagged crystal shard. “I wonder if you’re afraid of sharp things?”
He then proceeded to bang his head on the crystal.
But the voice didn’t cease. “What? Are you mad? You actually think physical force can hurt
me. It’s courage and capacity that really snaps me in half. And you’re hurting no one but
yourself by smashing your head.”
“Yeah? You can’t last forever. You’ll see what I mean,” snapped Wallace.
“I think I won’t see,” stated the voice solemnly.
“YEAH?? Then F*** OFF!”
Wallace was already in a state of semi-dementia, driving himself crazy with his own
thoughts. He carried on until there were visible stains of blood on his white uniform cap.
Then his vision fuzzed……….
And when it cleared, it was evident that he was in a different place. He was standing on a
white, pristine beach that stretched over the land like a blanket. Another reason why it
looked like a blanket was because of the waves billowing and crashing onto the rocks in
the far left. He was facing the sea, which looked startlingly real; it sparkled in the (no
longer crystal) sun like an aquamarine. The waves were lapping the shore gently, more
liquid than anything Wallace had seen in the whole Unown place. Everything looked so
clean, untouched, unpolluted, without the stain of human existence. Almost hard to believe
it actually existed in a crystal wasteland. Or did it?
The abrupt change of setting so mystified Wallace that the voice in his head took a break.
Am I hallucinating? he thought. That would be plausible as the cause… But nothing had
ever seemed so real… Either way, everything had a cause; and he knew he had to find
it. “Guess it’s time to explore the place,” he thought out loud. The rocks on the far left
echoed his voice across the sea. “At least better than head-banging.”
He looked behind him. There was no sign of any entrance or exit. Then he took a step.
The sand felt dense, but soft at the same time. The air was relatively warm, but as he
continued walking, he could feel a slight yet cold breeze in the direction of the sea. Really
strange weather, he thought. Maybe this IS still the Unown place. He kept walking until he
reached the end of land and the beginning of water. AKA the shore. He could easily see
his reflection as he peered into the clear, shallow water. Sitting down on the sand, Wallace
carefully ran a finger through the water, which felt surprisingly like liquid ice. He splashed
his face with a bit of water to test for hallucinations – but when he opened his eyes again
he was still on the beautiful, pristine beach. It confirmed that he wasn’t crazy. It was all
He stood up and continued to stroll along the beach. The sand seemed to stretch to infinity
on the sides. In the distance, Wallace could see a faint shadow of something. It was too
far to see clearly, but it was certainly the first object Wallace had saw in the place besides
from rocks, sea and sand. And in the end, curiosity won over apprehensiveness and he
made his way towards it.
It seemed like time was slowing down as he walked toward the mysterious object.
Everything seemed to be playing in slow motion. At first, he thought it was a block of
wood – but there didn’t seem to be any wood in anywhere near. And soon he could see
that another thing was perched on the object, about five sixths the length of the thing
As he closed up on the object, he halted to a stop and rubbed his eyes. No. It couldn’t be.
His mind was in a fuzz, and his breathing was hard. NO WAY. On impulse he ran to the
water and splashed the icy liquid on his face. Then turned around. STILL THERE.
No! It couldn’t be! But there it was, quite clear. No mistake. No.
“What’s going on?” demanded Brendan to the Unown. “What’s with the bubble?”
“P, send in the translating apparatus,” said A into its walkie-talkie.
“Affirmative,” said P.
“Well,” A said through the machine. “I’m afraid you’ve been tricked, kiddie.”
“Huh? How?” asked Brendan.
“You actually believed the Wizard of Oz stunt. That’s laughable,” jeered A.
Brendan’s face lost its confused look as it took on a disbelieving, furious one.
“WHAT? You let me outta here. RIGHT NOW. You liar. Cheater.” Brendan thrashed around
in the bubble, to no success.
“Ahahaha. Better get used to life. Adults lie. Right to your face, dude,” grinned A. “Oh, and
that bubble’s the result of psychic connection, so try as you might with physical force and
all you’ll accomplish is a cramp in your you-know-where.”
“Grrr….Go, Marshtomp!” shouted Brendan, throwing a ball to the walls of the bubble.
Marshtomp, just evolved, burst out of the ball and glanced at Brendan, confused.
“Aw. You want a battle,” said A in sarcastic sweetness. “Well, I guess I just have to...” And
with a flash of light, they were in a vast, green prairie dotted with magenta and indigo. A
mansion eerily resembling the Unown fortress stood in the distance. A, however, was
nowhere to be seen. In its place stood a tall boy about 14 with shocking violet eyes and
spiky red hair.
“Meet Allen,” said the boy. “And I accept your challenge. Not that I would call it that,” he
added with a noted “A” tone of sarcasm. “Go, Tropius!”
As the pokeball burst open, a dinosaur-like cry was heard. A dinosaur-like pokemon was
seen too, as Tropius flew out. Literally flew out. Then it landed with a deafening crash.
“Marshtomp!” yelled Brendan. “Mud-slap!”
Allen stared for 5 seconds and then he keeled over, laughing. “Oh my god! AHAHAHA!
N00b! Let’s pwn some n00bs! GAHAHAHAHA!” He couldn’t seem to stop, especially when
the message “It doesn’t affect Tropius” came up and Brendan looked appalled.
“hic-Tropius!” giggled Allen uncontrollably. “chk-chk-Magical hic-Leaf!”
Tropius roared fiercely and flew up in the air, beating its wings. Razor-sharp, fluorescent
leaves whizzed through the air, cutting into Marshtomp before it could dodge them.
Marshtomp let out a cry and fell over onto its back.
“Oh nooooo!” cried Brendan. “Come back, Marshtomp! Go Ziggy!”
The 200 yen pokeball, then the cowardly raccoon; it was all routine. Pretty funny, if you
were there to watch. And of course it cracked up Allen. If I typed out all his laughter and
jeers, I would fill up a page. So let’s continue.
“gasp-hic-Tropius!” choked Allen. “s-s-s-Stomp! GAHAHAHHA!!!”
Tropius brought its foot down on the little raccoon with a CRUNCH, and you could have
sworn it laughed. A loud, rough guffaw. Really. Just then, Brendan caught sight of the Uno
“Ooh!” he said, and picked it up. “It’s not eaten after all.”
“Tropius! It flinched – stomp again!” commanded Allen.
Tropius obeyed, and the battle came to an end as Zigzagoon fainted and Brendan begged
for Allen to stop.
“Well then, Brendan,” said Allen. “You’ll have to black out. Willing to do it?”
“Definitely,” groaned Brendan. He obviously had been feeling Zigzagoon’s pain.
Allen grinned and blacked him out. Then he created the mind bubble, and the prairie
disappeared as the Unown and its captive continued for the auditorium.
Last edited by Shiny Loser; 07-12-2007 at 03:15 PM.