[Strawberry Maelstrom]

As requested an URGENT GRADE!!!

Plot: This was a rushed plot. I could tell because of how quickly you went between battles. I suggest slowing down next time and double-check for holes in the plot that you can extend. I suggest adding a new Plot Twist. You know, make something go SERIOUSLY wrong for your character before it gets to the climatic battle.

Grammar: You had a bit of trouble with Past/Present/Future Tense words. Also, in point of fact would be better as in fact. You also had a few problems with your and you're. After that, there was one spelling mistake. You did okay here.

Detail: You didn't have a lot of grammar. You described the shape of Pokemon, but what about the color? I couldn't picture any of this story. Like I've told others before you, close your eyes and picture what you want to type before you type. Plus, detail will add more length, which you need.

Length: Usually, I'm somewhat easy-going when it cmes to length. Sadly, you only wrote 9,500+ characters for the double capture. According to the Big List of URPG Pokemon, Staryu has a range of 20k-30k and Chinchou has a range of 10k-20k characters. So that totals 30k-50k characters total. 9,500+ isn't enough for Staryu alone and sadly not when paired with a Chinchou either.

Battle: The old lady may have said impressive, but I'm unmoved. The battle was WAY too short for both Pokemon. If you look at it, you were pretty much in the driver's seat the whole time. From Crobat to Metang, you gave yourself the advantage. You could've at least made it so that more of the old lady's attacks hit. Also, more detail could've helped you here. I'm not sure what the rules are on saying you received the Pokemon as a reward, so I'll go with my gut on the outcome.

Success: Let me see here...You fell WAY too short of the goal. You didn't have enough detail to give me a foggy image of the story. Your battle was too one-sided and your plot was rushed.

Staryu and Chinchou not captured... read through the grade, double-check your grammar and plot, and come back when you're ready.