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Old 03-30-2007, 02:37 AM
Strawberry Maelstrom's Avatar
Strawberry Maelstrom Offline
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 436
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Default Re: Sailing the Seas

Plot: This story reminds me of Moby Dick. A story about the open seas and a captain trying to catch his Pokemon. I enjoyed the story.

Grammar: You messed up a few Pokemon names. Wingul has two L's. The first "a" in Garyados should be a "y" and the other "y" should be deleted. The only other mistake was a simple typo. So, nothing here can hurt you.

Detail: You did a decent job here. It was enough detail so I can picture the story, but not enough to clear away all of the fog.

Length: 14,000+ Characters, right in the range.

Battle: It was an okay battle. Your description helped me picture the attacks. I felt that it could use a bit of touching up, even though Mud Shot fired a hurricane of mud balls, I'm sure a Pokemon can dodge them once or twice.

Success: What can I say? You did a decent job in every area.

Chinchou Captured! Congratulations on the Angler Pokemon!

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