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Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


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  #16  
Old 01-16-2005, 11:06 PM
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Default Re: \/\/@R $e@$0n 3⅔ - "Creative" Writing

Come up with your own damn tune!

Whacha' gunna do?
By: TMTS
Neo Team Aqua-Frost

---
(chorus)
Oooh, oooh,
Whatcha gunna do?
Whatcha gunna do,
When a monkey mugs j00?
(repeat)
---
Whack it!
With a rod!
Whack it good!
Whack that clod!
---
(chorus)
---
The monkeys are a' swarmin!
You better start a truckin'!
Oh-no! They got you!
Oh-no! They're flingin' poo!
---
(chorus)
---
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhh...
They got your wallet, they're running away...

...so?

YOU GET THAT AK-47 AND MAKE THEM PAY!
OH!


(chorus)

Now you killed some chimps...
They're all walking on limps...

*record scratch*
They asked for it.
===========================
It's the best I could do...
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  #17  
Old 01-17-2005, 03:00 PM
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Default Re: \/\/@R $e@$0n 3⅔ - "Creative" Writing

What to do when a Monkey Mugs j00?
A Poem By rust Makuta

What do you do when a monkey mugs j00?
Do you walk us to him and say Moo?
Naw? He threw Feces on you!
Get out the Dancing Box!
Put on your Special Socks!
Make him dance!
Name him Lance!
And when he drops your money,
Some people think its funny!
Well, act like a rabid Dog and take the your cash!
Then turn that Monkey into Banana Mash!
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  #18  
Old 01-23-2005, 03:41 PM
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Default Re: \/\/@R $e@$0n 3⅔ - "Creative" Writing

The Last March of Napoleon Bonamonkey
Vex, of Team Trainer

Monkey see, monkey do,
Monkey gonna shoot at you,
Monkey climbing over hill,
Goes by Bonamonkey but his real name's Bill,

He's got an army, OMG,
He's packing loads of WMD,
Catapults and shotguns too,
Monkey gonna murder you,

He's burning France, he's conquered Wales,
I wish I knew something that rhymes with Wales,
Monkeys pouring over New Orleans
Like beans.

Napoleon Bonamonkey's got a plan,
But first he's gonna eat some flan,
He dines with his monkey minions,
There must be frigging millions!

But while he's eating things go wrong,
Poor Bonamonkey's life may not be long,
For Dark Lord Hamster has arrived,
Let's hope this plotline's not too contrived,

He wants to conquer New Orleans,
And steal their supplies of Heinz baked beans,
Would you accept that? Hell, no!
Bonamonkey's bomb gonna make Hamster blow,

He tosses it over, nicely thrown,
But he's been seen, his cover's blown,
Hamster's mad tennis skillz knock the bomb back,
Bonamonkey's had a heart attack,

This part of the plan was not supposed
To happen, it wasn't meant to be opposed,
But it's really quite too late to whine,
Will Bonamonkey escape in time?

The bomb goes off, he's lost a leg,
But replaces it with a clothes peg,
Now Bonamonkey's really mad,
He gonna make that hamster sad,

He calls his army, it's slaughter time,
That hamster's gonna regret his crime,
And over the hill the monkeys march,
New Low-Fat Yoghurt's also low on starch!

Sorry for that shameless ad,
But adverts in poems are quite the fad,
But let's get back to the problem at hand,
Their attack's got a soundtrack by some Australian band,

So while the Aussies go nuts with their guitars,
Monkeys thwack hamsters with big metal bars,
The hamsters fight back, they're rabid, oh no!
They bite oh so quickly, just look at them go!

Soon it's just Lord Hamster and Napoleon B,
Everyone else, just rest in peace,
OMG, that line above didn't rhyme,
Perhaps I will edit if I have the time,

Napoleon picks up a hammer, and runs,
Lord Hamster's prepared, he's holding two guns,
He shoots our brave hero (that Aussie band's funky),
And so ends the last march of Napoleon Bonamonkey.
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  #19  
Old 01-23-2005, 03:46 PM
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Default Re: \/\/@R $e@$0n 3⅔ - "Creative" Writing

Ughh...I'm sorry Vex, you would have snagged first place, but entries can be no later than 11:59 PM saturday night. >>

First place, TMTS, Second place, Rust. >>

Two points to Aqua.

Next topic:

That damn mcdonalds hamburger gave me food poisoning.


Yeah...figure it out f00ls.
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  #20  
Old 01-23-2005, 05:07 PM
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Default Re: \/\/@R $e@$0n 3⅔ - "Creative" Writing

Damn, McDonalds Gave me Food Poisoning!
Well, McD's has had some pretty gross stuff,
Like the Chicken Head in Their Nuggets, was it hard to bite? It was Tough!
Or the Bugs in their salad!
Oh, I bet you look pallid!
But one day I walked in and ordered a burger!
And I asked for no burrs... Grrr!
And when I bit into that meat,
I grew moles on My Feet!
So I called my attorney,
When I grew fungus on my knee.
I said Sue McD's,
He said for your car keys.
I surrendered my keys,
and got $1 Million in fees!
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  #21  
Old 01-23-2005, 06:00 PM
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Default Re: \/\/@R $e@$0n 3⅔ - "Creative" Writing

D'OH!!!
D'OH!!!
D'OH!!!
D'OH!!!
D'OH!!!
D'OH!!!

...Oh, well, I'll just have to uberpwn this one then. >=D

Super-Size THIS!
By Vex, of Team Trainer

Billy's mum has gone away,
To spend a week in San Jose,
Billy & Dad went to watch the big game,
But the dinner Mum left was sprout pie! Lame!

But Billy's Dad, now he had a plan,
"Let's go to McDonalds," he said, while chucking a can
Of Coke out of the window,
It hit a hobo,

While the hobo yelled in anger,
Someone let off a banger,
So Billy & Dad couldn't hear,
His vow to kill them (influenced by beer),

So they drove on, Billy and his dad,
Bathing in the brilliance of the idea he'd had,
And pulled up in the car park outside
McDonalds, Dad glowing with pride,

They walked inside, grabbed a table,
Went to the counter as soon as they were able,
There was a girl there with a wart on her back,
Who said it'd be ten minutes to wait for a Big Mac,

They were all sold out, you see,
They had to cook a new batch of three,
But Billy and Dad were in no hurry,
So they didn't go somewhere else for a curry,

So while they sit at their table and gaze at the floor,
That angry drunk hobo comes in the back door,
And he knocks out the chef who cooks the Big Macs,
And chops off his head with a whopping great axe,

Ping! goes the timer, the Big Macs are done,
Now the hobo's gonna have some fun,
He adds some poison to the one made for Dad,
This'll be the worst meal that he ever had,

Billy has ordered some french fries as well,
So the hobo does something too nasty to tell,
Suffice to say that the poor little boy
Will become just as dead as an Action Man toy,

The hobo puts on the McDonalds outfit,
He'll get this done quickly, 'cause it itches a bit,
He goes to the table and serves them their food,
Billy's dad'll regret putting him in this mood,

Dad bites his burger and Billy tries a fry,
Billy is retching and Dad starts to cry,
He'd spit on ol' hobo's corpse if he were dead,
But he's not, so Dad kicks him instead,

Billy runs back to the kitchen and sees,
The axe embedded in one of the Trainees,
He picks it up, and rushes back out,
"You're going down, dude," he maniacally shouts,

But just before Billy can cut off his head,
He drops to the floor, he's finally dead,
Dad is in anguish, now what will he do?
Not that it matters, 'cause he's dead too,

The hobo calls 911, then runs away,
He's looking forward to the newspaper on the next day,
The headline might be a dead man's rap:
"That damn McDonalds hamburger gave me food poisoning! Crap!"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Probably not as good as the monkey one, but hey.
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Current Soul Silver team

Caracas, Las Vegas, Babylon, Chennai, Napoli, Wollongong

Last edited by Channel Delibird; 01-23-2005 at 06:02 PM.
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  #22  
Old 01-23-2005, 07:56 PM
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Default Re: \/\/@R $e@$0n 3⅔ - "Creative" Writing

a doodle from mouse soup

there was once this restruant, where people seemed to be happy
they had a clown who dressed up-
really quite crappy!

"there's no need to be so drastic and don't be so bombastic-
life alone is so fantasic, just relax and watch the show!"

Can i take your order? What will you have today?
(sucker doesn't know its poison-
he'll have to drink lots of laxade!)

"there's no need to be so drastic and don't be so bombastic-
life alone is so fantastic, just relax and watch the show!"

The man ordered, burger and fries
the cook gave him-
hamboogers and french flies!

"there's no need to be so drastic and don't be so bombastic-
life alone is so fantastic, just relax and watch the show!"

the man actually ate the entire meal
he's got one day to suffer but-
just imagine how the clown feels!

"there's no need to be so drastic and don't be so bombastic-
life alone is so fantasic just relax and watch the show!"
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  #23  
Old 02-02-2005, 01:47 PM
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Default Re: \/\/@R $e@$0n 3⅔ - "Creative" Writing

Winners: 1st, Vex, 2nd, rust

New Topic: The crashage of the computer.
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Last edited by Agent Orange; 02-02-2005 at 01:49 PM.
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  #24  
Old 02-02-2005, 03:04 PM
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Default Re: \/\/@R $e@$0n 3⅔ - "Creative" Writing

Bobby And His Computer

One fine day where birds were chirping like washing-machines-gone-wrong, a little boy named Bobby B. Bob was at home, playing the latest and coolest FPS out: No Life - Pikachu Extermination(Half Life, No Life..get the joke? *sweatdrop*). Bobby was smashing and pulverizing the keys on his keyboard when suddenly a little Pikachu in the screen looked at him with murderous eyes.

"Your. Computer. Is. Now. Crashing."

Those were the last words he heard from the speakers of his computer. The screen went black. Totally black. So black that little Bobby didn't know if it was really black. Bobby gently tapped his monitor and whispered, "Hey, are you there?".

No reply. Not a single buzz. Not a single wuzz, fuzz or whatever.

Little Bobby hit the monitor and said, "Hey, I asked, are you there?".

No reply.

Little Bobby smashed his monitor with the printer, and started chucking random stuff at it. Banana skin, light bulbs, magazines, money, everything you could name.

"I WAS SO CLOSE. JUST ONE MORE PIKACHU. ONE MORE. AND I WOULD HAVE BEATEN THE HIGHSCORE!!!!!"

He ripped the graphics card into shreds, sat on the CD Drive and ate all the buttons and keys which were left. He finally chucked the monitor out of the window. What he wouldn't know was that the monitor hit his dad who was bringing home a new computer.

The next day, a funeral was arranged for both the father and son.

The end. Moral: Never chuck monitors out of your windows.

Also, I know this is unfunny, but I had to make an effort, didn't I?
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  #25  
Old 02-02-2005, 08:38 PM
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Default Re: \/\/@R $e@$0n 3⅔ - "Creative" Writing

This is a True Poem about Yesterday
One Day I wanted to play JA [Jedi Academy]
So I downlaoded a level, eh?
It took an hour,
I thought of having something sour,
I opened the map,
Opening was as slow as sap.
When it loaded all the way,
I needed to enable cheats... HEY!
It took anoher 5 minutes to load,
And when it loaded, I put in the code
NPC SPAWN PRISONER
That was the last I saw of the map, good sir.
My computer crashed.
I thought It should be mashed.
I loaded the level again, and what did it do?
It defiantly didn't take a poo.
It crashed!
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  #26  
Old 02-04-2005, 06:14 PM
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Default Re: \/\/@R $e@$0n 3⅔ - "Creative" Writing

The Computer Crashes

The computer was beginning to realise that what it was doing was not the most intelligent of ideas. Such a realisation almost made it change its mind - after all, the whole reason it was doing this was because, being an old model, its IQ was dropping radically. It had had two intelligent thoughts in the last five years, and that was an improvement on the five before.

The computer was on wheels, hurtling towards a large, stone building at incredibly high velocity. After so long in the depths of stupidity, it had decided suicide was the best way to go. That had been its first intelligent thought. The thought that suicide wasn't the safest idea had been its second. But the computer didn't care - at any rate, it was going so fast now that it couldn't possibly stop in time.

And so the computer zoomed off, along the usefully-smooth ground that, thanks to a helpful plot device, was in the best condition possible for maintaining the groundbreaking speeds that the computer was reaching on the skateboard wheels it had crudely welded to the bottom of its outdated CPU unit.

Calculating that it had exactly 17.024 minutes until impact, the computer realised it was bored. Completely bored. Even more bored than when it had been languishing in its old home. At least there it could converse with the other PCs on the network, however bad its language skills were (it was an old model), but here...here there was nothing. And so the computer decided its only option was to do the unforgivable. Hell, it only lived once, and its time was nearly up.

So the computer booted up single-player Hearts.

Exactly 2.3773054 minutes later, the computer was in third place. Ben had passed him a King of spades, Queen of clubs, and 9 of hearts. It was such an old computer that it had forgotten the rules, and didn't know what to do with the cards. In fact, the only reason it wasn't fourth was because one of its circuits had been broken for years, the circuit that governed the fourth player, Jennifer. Currently, Jennifer's cards had been replaced by a dancing, heavily pixelated monkey image with truly horrendous slowdown.

The computer began to think that it had already died and gone to computer hell.

So it came as a welcome surprise when it realised it had exactly 0.3 seconds until it crashed into the building.

0.2

0.1

0.0

Oh. That was now.

The computer crashed.
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The Channel Delibird Pokémon Elite 2000 Nostalgia Tour 2010 Presents:

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A.K.A. Vex, also formerly: Poke the North!; Diboofm Efmjcjse

Current Soul Silver team

Caracas, Las Vegas, Babylon, Chennai, Napoli, Wollongong
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