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Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


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  #1  
Old 08-08-2007, 06:59 PM
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Default The Water's Essence. PG-13 CH1 up!

The Water's Essence.


This fan-fic is rated a PG-13 for death, violence and romance. If you do not wish to read about any of these subjects then please do not continue to read.

This fan-fic is not the most original idea of mine, in fact it's inspired by three different stories in different ways.

Romeo and Juliet
Final Fantasy X
The Lion King 2

I hope you enjoy it!


Contents

Prologue.
Chapter 1 - The Market.
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Last edited by WorkThoseStripes; 08-11-2007 at 06:16 PM.
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Old 08-08-2007, 06:59 PM
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Default Re: The Water's Essence. PG-13

PROLOGUE
Hundreds of years ago, before the first Pokeballs were made; the towns and cities trainers know so well were yet to be built. In their places were huge stretches of land, great castles and villages. The land of Hoenn was split in half, a royal family for the West and one for the East. Both sides lived in peace for many centuries and Hoenn was a happy place to live.

King Philip II of West Hoenn and King Rupert I of East Hoenn were good allies, as their fathers had been, and whenever ones army went into battle, the other sent his army to help. The two Kings never once dreamed for more power than they had already been granted with.

Peace did not last like everyone had first hoped. Some people say that they disagreed over a great thing; others say it was something more dreadful, but nobody really knows why the two Kings began to argue. Their new hate for each other began to grow and it soon turned into a strong desire to rule over all of Hoenn, a desire that could never be fulfilled or crushed.

So the Great War began. Each King gathered every able man they could to join their growing armies and fighting in any way possible. The Kings, blinded by hatred and greed, ceased all caring for the consequences of their actions, vowing never to stop until they achieved their goal.

Families were torn apart, lives were ruined and you couldn’t travel anywhere without the news of death following you about like a disease. The lives that were lost became too many to count, as were the days that the war had been going on. The peaceful Hoenn everyone used to know was shattered, along with the hope of a brighter future. Hoenn went from being jolly and peaceful to a state of depression, its history now splattered with blood.

The war never stopped as nobody ever won. In every battle the armies were too evenly matched in strength to overcome the other. The very first battle was the worst. Hundreds of men on each side fought against each other and over half of them died. It was a loss that Hoenn never fully got over.

Over a hundred years later the battle was still going on. They were different Kings, but with the same purpose. The time was approaching swiftly, though nobody knew it then. The time when the Great War would end was close. I will tell you the story of the two people who ceased it, the two people who brought back peace and hope. I will tell you the tale of how they were born to be enemies, yet became something much more.
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Last edited by WorkThoseStripes; 08-14-2007 at 02:08 PM.
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  #3  
Old 08-09-2007, 01:27 AM
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Default Re: The Water's Essence. PG-13

Quote:
Hundreds of men on each side fought against each other and over half of them died.
Only mistake I found. :P

Short but sweet, I liked it. :)

It does show that you drew inspriation from the sources mentioned above (although I never played FF ^^;) but I'm pretty sure you're going to add your own twists and turns here.

I'll surely be reading 'casue you caught my attention!
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Old 08-09-2007, 01:33 AM
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Default Re: The Water's Essence. PG-13

Quote:
Hundreds of men on each side fought against each other and over half of them dying.
No, that could be correct. And over half of them dying makes sense. Like them dying in the process, but just half of them dying.

Well done, WTS! This is pwnsome!
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Old 08-09-2007, 01:39 AM
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Default Re: The Water's Essence. PG-13

Mistake corrected! Thankyou for pointing it out and thankyou for your comment. (:
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Old 08-09-2007, 01:43 AM
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Default Re: The Water's Essence. PG-13

No! You didn't need to change it! It depends on how you want it to sound.

I think it sounds better with dying there, but that's my opinion.

-Jackson-
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  #7  
Old 08-11-2007, 06:12 PM
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Default Re: The Water's Essence. PG-13

CHAPTER ONE
-------------------
THE MARKET

The dress, so plain in its appearance, who would have known at that time what it would later come to represent. The memories that would bind themselves to it and the death that would cling to it, a constant reminder of the darkest of these days. Later on it would become known as cursed, though no one knew it now, least of all the young woman who wore it that day.

It was easy enough to tell that it was the first time this dress had been worn, the first time the wind had caused it to flow so elegantly in its passing and the first time for the cold eyes of the world to look upon it. It was beautifully clean, whiter than any other form of clothing to be seen around. It covered up the wearer’s feet, but this was of no matter to her. The sleeve width gradually increased as it reached the pale hands which emerged out of it and a gold ribbon was wrapped tightly around her slim body under her breast. Simple, yet perfect.

It was a gift, a gift from her family for her seventeenth birthday. They had sought out the most experienced tailor in the world and spent many months having it produced and sent over to Hoenn. She had loved this gift above all others, knowing the effort that had gone into its making. It was a symbol of the love her family felt for her.

She strode through the castle grounds proudly, a smile upon her pale face. It was a pleasant day for one to travel in, one could not have hoped for anything more peaceful. Few clouds lay scattered across the clear sky to cover up the sun whose magnificent rays beat down upon her back. It was a warm day, but a cool breeze stirred the air causing one not to get too hot.

She exited via the castle gates, stepping on the old wooden bridge that was to take her safely across the moat. The wood beneath her feet creaked, as if threatening to break and cast her into the murky waters below, yet she showed no sign of fear. When she was younger she had always been afraid of the creaking and of the water, always insisting that her father would pick her up and carry her across. As she had grown older this fear had been dispelled, giving her the courage to cross alone.

She could see the market clearly from where she stood and she began her slow walk towards it. An unexpected gust of wind caused her black curls to fly freely across her face, almost flicking into her crystal blue eyes. She casually took the strands of hair in between her fingers and tucked them behind her ear before continuing along her way. She could hear the sounds of the market now and this noise increased as she drew nearer. She stepped into it, her feet automatically landing in dirt. Silence took over the scene and all eyes were drawn to her presence, reminding her more that she was not meant to be here.

Elizabeth Hope, Princess of West Hoenn, standing in the market place. It was unheard of. Why would someone so important be presenting herself to the lower beings of this world? Perfection was the achievement everyone here could only dream of. They found it hard enough to make their living in this world, let alone becoming the person of their dreams. Yet here she was, perfection standing in market, unaware of what she had. The looks they gave her in that moment were not all pleasant.

There were looks of respect and happiness, but there were also looks of jealousy and anger. Jealousy for the life that she led and anger for the destruction her family had brought upon Hoenn. It may not have been her or her father that began the Great War, but he was not trying to stop it, merely continuing it. He was continuing to ruin their lives, just as his ancestors had done. Of course, they would never show this anger so obviously. As a member of the royal family she could do almost anything to them.

Elizabeth chose to ignore the silence and continued on her way through, wanting to leave it as soon as possible. The silence and staring had made her feel awkward, a feeling she did not enjoy. A part of her was wishing that she obeyed her father, King Philip IV, when he had told her not to travel to the market alone. He had insisted that if she ever went there it would be with guards to protect her. They protected her, surrounding her so nobody could get in to her, yet they also trapped her and stopped her from getting out. Another feeling she did not enjoy: lack of freedom.

She began to pick up speed, realizing that some of these people could be violent and hurt her. They had every reason to, she knew that. Little did they know Elizabeth hated the war just as much as them. Though it did not affect her as much as it did them, it still saddened her to think of the lives that were taken to achieve next to nothing.

“My lady will you be travelling to the Great Statue today?” asked a breathless voice.

Elizabeth stopped suddenly in her tracks to locate the source of the voice. She was reluctant to turn to the mystery person in case they were only to hurt her or make fun of her. She did not wish to be a made a fool of. Her curiosity, however, got the better of her and she turned.

She saw an old man hobbling over to her, hunched low over a roughly carved wooden stick. It was the only thing that kept him from falling. His body was terribly thin, as if he hadn’t seen a decent meal in many years. He stopped in front of her, panting with exhaustion and leaning all his weight against the walking stick. She assumed that this was owner of the voice.

“I am,” she replied, smiling at him, “I will pray for our loved ones and a solution to this war.”

The old man returned the smile and bowed to show his respect. This added more weight onto the stick and it suddenly slipped on the ground. The old man fell onto his side, crying out in agony. Elizabeth was one of the first to rush to his side and, with the aid of others; she helped him to his feet.

“Thank you, my lady. How can I repay such kindness?” the old man asked once he had been handed back his stick.

He had sounded shocked and looked it also, but this was no surprise to Elizabeth. She was a Princess and he was a homeless peasant, yet she had helped him as if they were equals. She knew that she shouldn’t really be even talking to them, let alone helping them.

“There is no need to repay me for this deed. I have only done what any other person would of, had they been in my place,” she replied gently.

The old man began to back away, bowing with each step he took and continuously voicing his thanks to her. Elizabeth smiled once more and then continued through the market. Surely she was almost through it by now?

She had caused a scene; there was no doubt about that. People were now pointing at her and whispering under their breaths so she could not hear. Yet there was still that silence and those eyes. She felt as they were working her out, judging her for things that she had not done.

Then she out, free from the market and the staring. There was still no noise, yet it was a more peaceful silence, one which she was comfortable with. She saw before her a forest, but it was not frightening in any way to her. She had travelled through it many times before and knew that there were no dangers in there. She put two fingers in her mouth and whistled loudly, hoping that the being she called would hear her and come to her side.

“Princess Elizabeth!” shouted a rough voice from behind her.

She turned round to see two soldiers running towards her, one of them clutching their side due to a painful stitch. They had obviously been running. These two men were her guards, the ones who she was meant to travel with whenever she left the castle grounds. She often escaped from them and they were forever in fear of loosing their position at the castle. Neither of them was fit to join the army and they knew it. They knew that if they lost their current job then they would end up on a lonely stall in the market. To them this would probably seem like the end of the world.

“Princess!” said a slightly more high pitched voice, coming from the second guard.

He was much younger than the owner of the rough voice and you could easily tell. Christian was much skinnier and weaker looking than his colleague Horace, who was very large, but not muscular. They stopped by her side, panting with their hands on their knees, resting from the tiring journey from the castle. Simultaneously they stood back up, folding their arms and trying to look more intimidating than they had at first. Elizabeth was not at all fooled, but did not show this.

“What is wrong?” she asked politely, looking slightly confused to make it seem as if she did not understand she had done wrong.

“Princess,” replied Christian, “you know that you are not allowed outside the castle without us. Who will protect you against the violent, drunk peasants? You need our strength!”

Elizabeth held back a laugh. They were definitely not strong enough to hold off and violent, drunk peasants, but nevertheless they were only trying to do their duty.

“Where are going?” asked Horace in a demanding, but concerned voice.

“I am off to Mount Pyre and the Great Statue,” she replied calmly.

“You know your father thinks that it’s a waste of time Princess, but if you are to go then we, as your guards, must accompany you!” Horace informed her, smiling as he reminded himself how important his job was.

Elizabeth knew that would follow her, but she wanted that freedom so much it was unbearable. She had to think of something and think of it fast. Then the idea came to her, as if a light bulb had just flicked on inside her mind.

“If you come with me to Mount Pyre then I will be easily recognized,” she said in an innocent voice, “and even men of your great strength cannot protect me against fifty attackers!”

This, in a sense, was true, though no quite. Mount Pyre and the Great Statue that was built at its peak was a place of peace for Hoenn. Citizens from both sides could venture to its top and pray there. There would no arguments or fights as this was the law, but if the villagers of East Hoenn knew that she was there they would be tempted to attack her.

The men looked at each other in thought, looking almost as if they were using psychic powers to communicate in their minds. Elizabeth hoped she hadn’t gone over the top by complimenting their strength and that her voice had not sounded too fake. She did not want them to realize that she was trying to trick them away from her. They turned back to her and shook their heads.

“I’m sorry Princess but-” Horace began sternly, but Elizabeth cut him off before he could continue.

“Would my father prefer for me to be recognized and killed or alone and safe?” she asked them, folding her own arms.

The two guards looked at each other again and Christian sighed, admitting defeat. They turned round and began to trudge back through the market and towards the castle.

“If my father asks,” called Elizabeth to them, “tell him you were too late to stop me! I’ll take the blame!”

She didn’t want them to get fired for two reasons. She did enjoy their company when they were not trying to protect her wherever she went. They made her laugh quiet often and she would consider them friends to her. She would feel very guilty if they got fired because of her actions. She also knew that they would most likely be replaced by more intelligent soldiers who would be harder to fool.

She whistled again, remembering that the being she had first called had still not appeared. She began to worry that something had happened to her friend and was about to walk into the forest alone when she heard the sound of hooves against earth. She smiled, awaiting Rapidash.

A magnificent cream coloured horse approached her, dazzling flames for her mane and tail and dancing around her ankles. A Pokemon of the fire element and one of Elizabeth’s oldest companions. Elizabeth stroked that Pokemon’s head, her fingers falling upon the sharp horn that stuck out of Rapidash’s head. She then continued to bring her hand down the Pokemon’s neck, unfeeling of the flames that licked her hands. Rapidash would never allow them to hurt her.

“It’s been too long, my friend,” Elizabeth whispered in her ear, her hand falling back to her side.

The Pokemon began to walk back into the forest and Elizabeth followed, allowing Rapidash to lead to way to Mount Pyre.
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Last edited by WorkThoseStripes; 08-11-2007 at 07:14 PM.
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  #8  
Old 08-11-2007, 07:08 PM
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Default Re: The Water's Essence. PG-13 CH1 up!

Quote:
Another feeling she did not enjoy: lack of freedom.
Meh, I think that's right, not sure about the colon. I'm terrible about those things. ^^;

Loved the description throughout the chapter, pulled it off very nicely without suffocating the poor reader. :P

Can't wait how you pull off Mt. Pyre and the Great Statue, keep it up.
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Old 08-11-2007, 07:14 PM
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Default Re: The Water's Essence. PG-13 CH1 up!

Thanks for the ehads up about the mistakes. The amount of times I proof read it and I don't notice something like that. :P Thanks, nice to know you're liking it!

~WTS
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Old 08-14-2007, 08:13 AM
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Default Re: The Water's Essence. PG-13

Ok, this is being VERY picky, but it was in the first sentence so I noticed it.
Plus, I'm a perfectionist like that. =]
Quote:
Originally Posted by WorkThoseStripes View Post
Hundreds of years ago, before the first Pokeballs were made; the towns and cities trainers know so well were yet to be built.
I do believe this semi-colon should just be a comma.
Because semi-colons connect two complete sentences that seem to fit together.
So, seeing as "Hundreds of years ago, before the first Pokeballs were made" isn't a sentence,
and "before the first Pokeballs were made" is a side comment, it should be included between to commas.

Yes, you may think I'm crazy. But that's just the kind of person I am. XD
Other than that, this looks extremely amazzzing.
But, that doesn't surprise me, after seeing your work in The 17 Masters.
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Old 08-14-2007, 02:10 PM
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Default Re: The Water's Essence. PG-13 CH1 up!

Thankyou for the feedback. (: Word told me to put it there. ¬_¬

I don't know whether to believe Word or not now. :P
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