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Go Back   Pokemon Forum - Pokemon Elite 2000 » Pokemon RPG's » Pokemon Ultra RPG » Stories

Stories Write a story to catch Pokemon. A Grader will then decide if it catches or not.


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  #1  
Old 03-28-2004, 08:00 AM
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Talking A Oddish operation

It was a sunday, but the sun was not shining. The rain was everywhere.
Franky was sitting down in his room behind his computer. He was bored, his Squirtle was also.''Battling on internet is too boring for me''Franky said to Squirtle. ''You're a water pokemon ?! Come and we will go into the water !''
He picked op his red cap, put his blue jacked on and he went downstairs.

His mom was not pleased that the two was going into the rain. ''That pokemon always, why don't you go when it's sunny ?'' his mom said
''Because i want to have another Pokemon, a real pokemon trainer needs more than one Pokemon !'' Once the where outside Squirtle was scared, he didn't want to go into the rain. ''Come on Squirty, it's only a minute walking if we want to go to Danny ! If we run a few seconds !'' Danny was the best friend of Franky, only he had better pokemon. He allready had a Nidoking and Franky was very jealous about that. Franky wanted to catch some Pokemon together with him

He was running in the rain, Squirtle was in his Pokeball. Franky walked fast in the little wood of Hydro Village. But...on his way he sawn a Hoppip hopping arround as a mad man. Franky looked at the Hoppip and tryed to figure out what the Hoppip was doing. ''Squirtle, come out that pokeball ! You must tell me what that Hoppip is trying to say !'' Franky shouted to the pokeball. Squirtle came out of the pokeball and listend to the Hoppip. Squirtle was a good friend with Franky so Franky understanded what Squirtle was saying ; ''Squirtle, squirtle, squirt, squirtle, squirt !!!'' Squirtle said. Franky : ''Ok I will follow you !''

Danny was waiting tuntill Franky showed up, but he never came. ''He's always to early, why is he not here now ? I will going to look for him !''

Franky was running after Squirtle and the Hoppip. A several pokemon where following them, not some pokes that Franky really wanted for his collection.
When they where near to a cave, a bird with thunder arround him whas flying arround. When he sawn Franky he flew away into the air, flashes of light where arround the woods. What was that ?!, Franky thought. Maybe it was zapdos ! Nah, that can't be true, stop thinking that things !

''Noctowl, come out'' Danny said. ''You must search the woods for Franky ! I don't know where he is but his mom said that he leaved a houre ago ! Nidoking, you will come with me to search him !''

Franky walked into the cave, thinking of what he just sawn. A Larvitar popped out of the ground and Hoppip was going to talk to him. After the talk Franky didn't understand, Larvitar popped into the ground again and a few seconds later a bunch of Larvitar's, Digglet's and Dugtrio's appeared. The cave had a dead end, but not anymore ! The ground pokemon where digging and digging, but it didn't worked good against the wall.

''There you are ! I've looked all overthe place for you !'' Danny said. ''Sorry, but this Hoppip needs help ! I think he want to bring me to a place where something happened. But all these Pokemon can't go trough this wall !'' Fraky said. ''Well, that Hoppip can fly with a little bith of air so there isn't a hole maded yet...Go Onix !'' Danny said. The big onix maded a hughe cave and the two guys and there Pokemon could go through it. Suddenly a Tyranitar walked towards them. ''He has not a very happy face'' Franky laughed ''Um, i will take care of him, you must go on with this mission ! I will catch it, Go Nidoking !'' Danny shouted.

Squirtle was looking arround him, he was hearing a strange sound, it looked like a Pokemon crying for help. ''I don't know this place at all !'' franky said to Squirtle. ''I'm hungry, can we stop for a minute ?'' Franky asked to Hoppip while he allready was trying to get a sandwich between all those potions and full heals in his backpack. Hoppip was jumoing again like a mad man, and he was about to attack Franky also. ''I'll take that as a no'' Franky said to Hoppip while he avoided the hop attack.

Franky was walking, walking and walking. Sometimes they where going to the left, sometimes to the right. The rain stopped and the Pidgey's where singing. Pikachu's where playing, and Ekans where fighting. ''Is it far from here ?'' Franky asked to Hoppip. Hoppip was shaking no, when Hoppip was taken into the air by the wind. ''Use your water gun Squirtle ! We must take him down to the ground !'' Franky shouted to Squirtle. Squirtle used his water gun but it didn't work. A few seconds later they heard : ''Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaait !'' It was Danny ! His Noctowl picked the Hoppip out of the air. ''Hey Danny, what's up with you ?'' Franky asked. ''Haha, nothing is wrong, just got a Tyranitar !'' Danny said very happy. ''Ooh, fine.'' Franky said jealous.

Hoppip was jumping very happy when they where near a Oddish. The Oddish was sick, paralyzed and almost fainted. ''I think he's hit by the thunder of that bird Pokemon !'' Franky said to Danny. ''What bird pokemon ?'' Danny asked. ''Never mind, this Oddish needs a potion and he needs a full heal !'' Franky said. Franky sprenkeld the potion on Oddish. Oddish opened his eyes. Now Franky used the full heal....
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Last edited by Scizor; 03-28-2004 at 08:19 AM.
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  #2  
Old 03-28-2004, 08:00 AM
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Talking Re: A Oddish operation

Oddish jumped to Franky and tried to hug him. Oddish was very happy. Then Oddish stand still for a moment, and he attacked Squirtle. ''I think he wants to join your party, but you must battle him first'' Danny said to Franky. ''Ok, ome on Oddish, let's battle !'' Franky said.

''You're a water Pokemon, so Oddish is stronger'' Franky said to Squirtle. But we will win this battle and catch him !

F : ''Squirtle use your tackle !''
Squirtle used tackle but Oddish avoided the attack.
Oddish used absorb.
Squirtle used Tackle again, but now it hits.
Oddsih fell on the ground.
Squirtle used water gun and he pumped Oddish away against a three.
Franky throwed the pokeball, but he missed.
Oddish used sleep powder now on Squirtle and Squirtle was down on the ground...sleeping.

F : ''Wake up you, it isn't the time to sleep now !''
Oddish used absorb again, and he had almost all his energy back !
But squirtle waked up and he was not happy with what Oddish did to him.

F: ''Good, you're awake ! That Oddish needs a lesson, water gun full power !''
Squirtle used water gun, Oddish flew away, but landed on his feed and had a smile on his face.

F : ''Urgh, you little grass poke ! Squirtle get him ! Use bite !''
Squirtle runned to Oddish and bited him at his leafs, Oddish absorbed the power of squirtle and he had power again.

Danny was laughing : ''It's never going to work if you keep shouting at that poor Squirtle of you, just think of something and defeat it then !

F : ''Um, sorry for that Squirtle, but you must defeat him ! Oh no, hide in your shell Squirtle, Oddish is running towards you !''
Squirtle hided and Oddish mised the attack, after that Squirtle tackled Oddish, but he landed on his feet. Oddish was using razor leaf, Squirtle almost fainted. But whit the little power he had left, Squirtle stand up.

F : ''Whaaa ! Squirtle, it's enough ! defeat it now !''
Squirtle runned toward Oddish at full power, he smashed Oddish right in his face.
Oddish flew trough the air and landed like it was Knock out.

F : ''Use your water gun to finish this battle !''
Squirtle used water gun with the little energy he had left, but Oddish was allready fainted.
Squirtle fell on the ground and was resting.
Franky throwed the pokeball...

The pokeball was rolling, one time now.
Franky was looking very happy. Come on Oddish, where his thoughts.
The ball was rolling twice.
Franky's eyes where shining...
Did Oddish changed his mind or did he stay at the pokeball ?

It's my first story, i hope it's good enough for a Oddish
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Last edited by Scizor; 04-10-2004 at 03:26 PM.
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  #3  
Old 04-11-2004, 12:07 AM
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Default Re: A Oddish operation

sorry for the super late grade (wonders where all the graders are?)

story:
you have an interesting idea, good. nice start.

grammer:
not good. so many mistakes it is hard to read correctly. i know what you mean most of the time but these errors distract from the story.
ex. "''That pokemon always, why don't you go when it's sunny ?" the sentence doesn't make much sense.

detail:
moderate but more would be much better. try to go into detail about everything. what do the characters look like? how old are you? little things like this make the story 50x better.

battle:
don't explain a battle like the game. this is anime (kinda) and you should explain it like that. one line attacks won't work to catch a Pokemon. more detail, interesting style and length all come into factor here.

realty:
it seems ok, just odd.

tips:
check out some other stories and how the battles work. i suggest that you spell/grammer check ur story somehow; it needs work.

Outcome- Oddish Not Captured!

~Jack~
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