Member List
Calendar
F.A.Q.
Search
Log Out
Pokemon Forum - Pokemon Elite 2000  
 

Go Back   Pokemon Forum - Pokemon Elite 2000 » Pokemon RPG's » Pokemon Ultra RPG » Stories

Stories Write a story to catch Pokemon. A Grader will then decide if it catches or not.


Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 08-18-2008, 06:25 PM
Stinky's Avatar
Stinky Offline
Garbage Can
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 4,794
Send a message via AIM to Stinky
Default Cry from the Mysterious

The fearsome maroon creature slammed into my Blastoise with his thick iron-plated head. The giant blue turtle staggered backwards, its brown shell shaking violently, and toppled over, its cannon’s giving off a small frothy spray of water.

I grimaced; Blastoise had been my last Pokemon, besides the Ditto that sat on my shoulder. The strange glob-like Pokemon swayed back and forth on my shoulder, obviously in fear of the giant metal creature. His sticky body felt oddly gooey on my shoulder.

Heatran roared, and the small cave we were currently in seemed to get even hotter. Rocks began to fall off of the low ceiling, smashing into small pieces on the ground. It planted its enormous feet into the ground, sinking into the ash that penetrated even in here. It opened its gaping mouth, jagged teeth showing inside. A strange fire began to form in there.

I ran out of the small cave, diving off to the side. An enormous blast of fire surged from the mouth of the cave, giving off intense heat. It slowed down, and I leaped up, scooping Ditto, who had jumped off of my shoulder into the ash, into my arms.

“C’mon, Ditto, I think it’s angry!” I yelped. Above me, I couldn’t see the sky, only ash. Brown ash seemed to cover everything on this mountain, which had recently been identified as a dormant volcano. An uphill slope stretched up in front of me, but by turning around, I could see a much longer downhill slope. I took a step to go downhill, but as if on cue, Heatran leaped out of the cave, its red-orange eyes filled with anger.

“GRAAAAGH!” it roared, and began to charge at me. Quickly turning back around, I dashed up the mountain, hoping that it would tire and turn back. After running uphill for almost ten minutes, I turned around to see the footprints left by my nice sneakers following me, along with one ugly volcano creature. Its orange spotted body heaved as it chased me relentlessly.

Fearfully, I began to run to the top, which loomed closer every minute. Ditto squirmed in my grip, but I held it closer to me. “Stay… still…” I panted, stumbling over a small cluster of rocks. I regained my balance, and reached the top of the mountain.

The peak that I stood on was very odd. It looked as if its whole top had been sliced off. It was large, about the size of a house in diameter, and was circular. In the middle was a deep pit. Peering in, I could see lava bubbling all the way at the bottom. I quickly got away from the pit though, as I didn’t want to fall in. I could hear Heatran charging up the hill. Running to the back side of the mountain, I could see that it was much steeper. I’d definitely hurt myself if I tried to go down that way, so I’d just have to fight Heatran off with Ditto.

Ditto leaped off my shoulder onto the ashy ground. His gooey body jiggled back and forth as he awaited Heatran’s arrival. Ditto and I were startled as its ugly face peered over the rim, and it leaped onto the peak. “GRAAGH!” it screeched, pounding its big feat on the ground. Beneath us, the ground began to shake violently back and forth in an Earthquake attack. The ground split in a couple places, leaving cracks, and I soon lost my balance.

From there, things seemed to happen in slow motion. First, I was on one leg, waving my arms around crazily. Then, my other leg came out from under me, and I found myself falling backwards. I didn’t feel the ground beneath me though, but I felt myself freefalling, my arms and legs spread out, waving madly. The rim of the volcano rose up into the sky as I fell down the pit, towards the lava. Suddenly, I saw a long pink blob flying down after me, and I recognized it as Ditto, my longtime friend.

As I feel to my inevitable death, I couldn’t help but think about my past life, and how it had been.

My name is Brad Mackey, and most called me a very good Pokemon trainer. I didn’t see what they thought was so spectacular about me though, my Pokemon weren’t the strongest, but they always seemed to pull through.

I was born in a small town in Johto, called Cherrygrove. My mom had sent me on an adventure early on in my life, as she was constantly working, and couldn’t afford to have someone watching me. I challenged the gyms of Johto, gathering a strange crew of Pokemon along the way.

I had been invited to go to Sinnoh’s Northeast Island—a place where only the best trainers could go. Recently, Stark Mountain’s peak had been blown clean off by an unknown force, (police suspected Heatran) so I wanted to go check it out. Of course, I had given myself more than I could chew, and was now falling to my death.

I could feel the hair on my arms rising as the heat became more intense. Ditto looked horrible, and almost seemed to be melting all over me.

Suddenly, I realized something. Ditto was melting all over me! A thin layer of purple goo covered every inch of my body. “Ditto! What’re you doing?!” I screamed over the lava that I could now hear bubbling. In the intense heat, it felt like Ditto was melting away, evaporating. Hot air rushed up around me as the lava zoomed closer. By now, I could barely even feel Ditto’s presence on my skin any more. I closed my eyes as I moved even closer to the lava, minutes away from my death.

Randomly, I felt my whole body burst out in pain. I screamed, but as I screamed, my scream changed into a metallic scream. My eyes flew open, and I looked around me. My outstretched arms looked kind of funny, as they were changing to a maroon color, with orange spots. My fingers began to widen and form together now, and had metal bars sticking out in four places. My head began to ache severely, and felt heavier all of a sudden. The pain became too much for me, and I passed out, falling quickly towards the lava.
__________________

Last edited by Stinky; 01-06-2009 at 09:49 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 09-15-2008, 10:58 PM
Stinky's Avatar
Stinky Offline
Garbage Can
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 4,794
Send a message via AIM to Stinky
Default Re: Cry from the Mysterious [STORY DEAL]

I groaned, my eyes still shut. All around me, I could feel warmth, but it wasn’t bad warmth… it was comforting. Had I died? I didn’t remember anything after the pain I felt while falling. My eyes slowly opened, and I didn’t see a bright light like I had expected, but was filled with a strange red-orange light, that seemed to emanate from the floor. Bubbles rose out of it and popped, in random places across the floor.

I peered around. I was on solid ground, its surface rocky. I was in what appeared to be a tiny alcove, about the size of a camping tent. I did a quick scan of the area around me for Ditto. “Ditto?” I croaked, my voice harsh and metallic. I jumped back in surprise at how my voice had changed since I had last spoken. I saw something odd where I had once been. A strange circular footprint with what seemed to be a cross coming out of it was imprinted in the dirt. I looked down, and found myself looking at an ugly circular foot, with small metal bars sticking at out four points, making a cross.

I noticed that I was standing on four feet now, instead of the two I would’ve normally stood on. I awkwardly made my way over to the lava that bubbled, its heat not affecting me as much as it had on my fall down. To my dismay, the lava didn’t show my reflection, although I hadn’t expected it to.

Suddenly, I felt very angry. I don’t know what had triggered this burst of anger, but I felt angry. Enraged, I screeched. It sounded horrible, like metal scraping on other metal. I flinched, clenching my eyes shut. Had I really made that sound? Opening my eyes, I saw something strange. The lava in front of me was slowly becoming a shiny, metallic color. In the reflection, I saw something that terrified me.

I was a Heatran. Piercing orange eyes stared intensely back at me, burning into my. Ugly teeth jutted out of my mouth. On top of my head was a thick iron plate, glinting. How had this happened? I thought back to earlier, when I was falling, when Ditto had melted all over me. Had Ditto’s body melded with my skin, and Ditto transformed into Heatran at the end?

It sounded preposterous, but it was the only possible explanation. With a sigh, I looked up. Of course, I was a Heatran, but how would I get out of here? The walls of the volcano were practically vertical, their heated brown rock seeming to laugh at me. I set a cautious foot into the lava to find that to my surprise, it didn’t feel hot at all. It felt warm, like a bathtub full of water.

By now, the lava that had been metallic colored had become a single square sheet of metal, a foot in length and width. It had now been pushed onto the large rock that I had woken up on.

Wading out further into the lava, I felt rejuvenated. Was this like a hot spring for fire types? I pondered how to get out of the volcano. By this point, I was paddling in the lava, like someone would do in deep water.

Use Lava Plume!

Startled, I looked around me. “Who’s there?!” I screeched in my strange voice. No one was around me though…

I said, use Lava Plume! It’ll rocket you out of here!” the voice said again. It sounded like someone was speaking from underwater, and had the same pitch that my Ditto had.

“Who’s there!” I screamed. Suddenly, a little chuckle emerged.

It’s me! Ditto!” Ditto laughed, its liquid voice seeming to come from nowhere at all.

“…Ditto?” I asked cautiously. Hadn’t Ditto melted when I had fallen down the volcano shaft? “How are you still alive?” I inquired in my unnatural voice.

Well…” Ditto muttered quietly. “When we fell down the volcano shaft, I began to melt. Somehow, my melting body seeped into your skin, and I did the last thing I could to save us… I transformed into this.” Ditto said, as if it was confessing a heinous crime.

I laughed. “Don’t sound so down! We’re both alive, that’s the good thing,” I said with a chuckle, but suddenly my face became much more grim. “What happened to the Pokemon in my Pokeballs?” I asked glumly, suddenly paddling slower.”

Oh them? When I covered you, I covered them too. They’re in you somewhere, their Pokeballs will probably come out when you go to the bathroom…” Ditto giggled.

I sighed in relief, glad that my Pokemon were still safe. “Anyway, what were you saying earlier?”

Oh, yeah. If you use a Lava Plume attack, the lava should rocket us out of here!” Ditto said perkily.

“And how do I do that?” I asked. “And, where are you anyway?” I blurted, suddenly realizing the strangeness of the situation.

I dunno…” Ditto began, his voice quaky; I could tell he was unsure about something. “I’m not really in a physical shape right now. I guess I’m still on your skin…” he said nervously. “Anyway, you don’t know how to use attacks? It’s kind of hard to explain, but to use an attack, you have to pull up the energy from deep within yourself. Although, if you want to use Lava Plume, you might be able to use the lava’s energy…” Ditto trailed off.

I nodded, and tried to do as he said, but I just couldn’t find the energy. It felt like I was searching for something that I had lost, but I knew was there, somewhere. Suddenly, I felt a strange warmth spread throughout my body. I screeched, surprised. From beneath me, it felt like a geyser was pushing me up. I looked around and saw that it was in fact, launching me upwards. A giant stream of lava carried me up the volcano, feeling like water on me. I didn’t know how it carried me, as I was heavier than the water, but I wasn’t about to question that.

I burst into the sky, the lava streaming up beneath me. Suddenly, gravity seemed to affect the lava, so I began to fall with globs of hot lava, towards the peak of the volcano. My heavy body smashed into the hard rock, the lava raining down around me. Faintly, I could hear screaming possibly from trainers on the mountain. I tugged hard to pull my thick metal legs out of the earth, and looked around.

Well, that went well,” Ditto said happily. Peering around, I could see the red hot lava slowly oozing down the mountain. Any small plants that got in its way were smothered, and most likely died. With a sigh, I picked up one of my legs, and began to walk forward.

“I guess the only way out of this is to go down,” I announced as I sloshed my way through the lava. Ditto fell silent, and so I merely peered around, bored. Eventually, the lava stopped flowing, and sat, hardening on the mountain. Looking down the slanted slope that I walked upon, it was a pretty long walk to the bottom. Much to my surprise, I heard a voice.

“Hey! Heatran! What’s going on here?!” I turned to the direction of the gravelly voice, to see a Pokemon. It was a large red creature, with miniature volcanoes emerging from its back. Blue fur rings adorned each side of its body, looking almost unnatural against the lava red fur. It had large black eyes, with a tan snout, which bore two small nostrils. I recognized it as a Camerupt.

“Uhh…” I stuttered. “I fell in, and couldn’t get back out.” I told the camel, hoping that he would believe I was the real Heatran.

He laughed a deep, hearty laugh. “Well, why didn’t you just climb out instead of worrying the humans? Now their going to send their scientists up to figure out what’s up,” he announced with a chuckle. “But, it’s not really my job to tell you what to do. You are the ruler of this mountain, after all.” he said, nervously rubbing one of his large hooves against the slanted ground that we stood on.

So Heatran is the ruler of this mountain?” Ditto said. Camerupt obviously didn’t hear Ditto. “Maybe we should stick around here for a little while.

“Why so silent?” Camerupt queried, cocking his big head. I laughed. There was something about this creature that was very likeable.

“Oh, I dunno. I’m just… thinking.” I replied.

“Huh. You know, you’re acting kind of strange. Do you feel okay?” Camerupt questioned.

“Ehh? I’m fine.” I said quickly, hoping that he wouldn’t figure out that I was a fake Heatran.

Camerupt made a motion like he was shrugging his shoulders. “Alright. Well, anyway, a family of Skarmories on the mountain was upset by your lava flow. Right now, they’re making a huge fuss out of it, saying that their house could’ve been destroyed. Do you want to go calm them down?”

I grinned. “Sure. Lead the way!”

Brad, be careful. You don’t want to run into the real Heatran, that’d cause a lot of trouble…” Ditto warned. I could almost see his skeptical face in my head.

Don’t worry, I’ll be careful, I thought, hoping that my friend would hear my thoughts. Hopefully he just slinked back into that cave after I fell, anyway. I continued, as I followed the giant camel.

~~

After about fifteen minutes of walked along on slanted ground, Camerupt and I came upon a lone tree. The base had been completely covered by lava, which had hardened quickly into a black rock. Up in the tree sat two small birds. They had shiny gray bodies (which looked like steel). Menacing yellow eyes glared angrily down at me. Blood red feathers sprung from the sides of their bodies.

The part of the mountain that we stood on was almost flat. The ground was hard, black from the hardened lava. It was almost like we stood on a cliff, carved into the side of the mountain.

“YOU!!!” a terrifying voice screamed. I whipped around to see a much larger version of the small birds in the trees swooping down on me. “WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF YOU INSOLENT PIP?!” it screamed, jabbing a long pointed beak at me. It clanged unsuccessfully off of my metal-plated head, but the creature kept coming after me. “MY CHILDREN COULD’VE DIED!” it roared. By now she had backed me up against a large rock, so there was nowhere else to hide. I closed my eyes, waiting for her to strike me again, but I heard an angry grunt that hadn’t come from the shrill bird.

Opening my eyes, I saw Camerupt slam angrily into the vulture, smoke billowing from the mountains on his back. “Mrs. Yrom,” he began as he held her from getting to me. “It was all an accident.” he said calmly.

She turned angrily on him. “AND WHAT’S UP WITH YOU?! ALWAYS DEFENDING HIM EVEN WHEN HE SCREWS UP!” she screeched, “I’M TIRED OF IT!” she finished angrily, pecking wildly at Camerupt’s eyes.

“Camerupt!” I yelped, launching forward at the angered mother. She turned on me, and struck my back with her razor-sharp feathers. I slammed my iron faceplate into her, knocking her back.

The brawl was interrupted by a booming metallic sounding voice. “Hey!” it shouted. Our three heads snapped to the right to see the real Heatran, glaring angrily at us. For some reason, he didn’t seem to notice me, but was looking at Skarmory and Camerupt.

Uh-oh.” Ditto remarked, his voice filled with fear.

Camerupt’s face was that of surprise as he looked back and forth between the real Heatran and me. “Wha? But… Heatran… there’s two of you!?” he exclaimed in disbelief. Heatran glared at me, his piercing orange eyes cutting through me like a steak knife.

“Yeah, yeah, I noticed. I don’t know what is going on, but I’m here to clean up his mess,” Heatran said, pointing a large foot at me. Without warning, he launched forward at me, his bangled feet outstretched. I leapt aside, and he thudded into the ground next to me. “Who are you?” he growled angrily.

“I’m…” I began, but was interrupted by the whirring of a helicopter’s blades. A sudden bright light filled the mountainside with light, revealing our small gathering. A black helicopter pointed its large spotlight at us. It had an opening in the side, and I could the faint outlines of people who strained to hear and yell over the helicopter.

“It’s a Heatran! It’s two Heatran!” they yelled in awe.

“Well?! Don’t just stand there! Capture one!” a new voice said. It was girly, and high-pitched. Out of the opening, a ladder dropped down. People in gray suits shimmied down the ladder, landing on the mountainside. With a gasp, I recognized the bold yellow “G” on their suits, and recognized the grunts as members of Team Galactic. They had strange bowl-shaped haircuts, and wore white and gray suits. The advanced menacingly, pulling Pokeballs out of their pockets, getting ready to release their Pokemon.

“Go! Get out of here!” I roared at Camerupt, Skarmory, and Heatran. Heatran gave me an angry look, as if it had been my fault, and ran off up the mountainside, with Camerupt trailing closely behind him. Skarmory glared at me.

“I WON’T LEAVE MY BABIES BEHIND!” she screeched, and dove at the grunts who advanced on us.

“Hey! It can talk!” one of the grunts said, pointing a skinny finger at me.

“All the more reason to capture it!” the pink haired lady sneered from the helicopter.

There were three grunts that advanced towards me, with Skarmory above them, pecking angrily at their faces. Frantically, they throw the menacing Pokeballs at her. The lids snapped open, revealing a variety of Pokemon.

The first looked like a sandy colored dragonfly. It had large diamond shaped wings, mainly green, although they had a black outline. It had enormous clear eyes, with big black pupils. Two small antennae stuck out of its head, and it had four small black legs, two on each side of its long body.

The second looked like an overgrown rat. It had dark brown hair covering its body, save for a tan colored belly. It had small pointed ears, and large pearly white buck teeth that chattered even in the heat of the volcano. A long skinless tail sprung out of its backside, and flicked from left to right.

The last one looked like a small yellow duck. It sat on the ground, dopily peering around. It had a large tan beak, and big white eyes, dotted by a tiny black pupil. Tiny black hairs sprung up from the top of its head. “Psai?” It asked the grunt that stood above it.

“Come on! Get moving!” he yelled angrily, giving the yellow duck a swift kick to the backside.

The Psyduck shot an angry look at him, then trotted forward to where the other Pokemon stood, awaiting their owners commands. Skarmory fluttered down beside me, her sharp beak glinting. The grunts shouted out orders to their Pokemon, their words becoming a jumble in my head.

Raticate lunged forward, sinking its large teeth into my unprotected skin in a Bite attack. I shook myself frantically, trying to loosen his grip. From above me, Vibrava swept in, breathing out a strange blue flame that engulfed my body. Raticate let go, as the Dragonbreath attack hurt him as well. I staggered back, only to meet Psyduck

It had obviously been angered by the kick from its owner, and fury blazed in its eyes. Its beak looked like it was filled to the brim with water, and it launched the water out of its mouth forcefully in a Water Gun attack.

My body stung, not used to the cold water. “There! He’s weakening! Hit ‘em with the net!” the pink-haired lady screeched. The bottom of the helicopter (which was right over my head) opened up, and a large black net fell down, it’s thick ropes threatening to contain me.

Thinking quickly, I smashed a foot into the ground, while finding the energy to use a Lava Plume. With the rock beneath me crushed, lava began to flow up through the small cracks, quickly becoming the large blast that it had been before. The net was engulfed in it, and burned up. “Get out of the way!” the lady screamed, and I heard a struggle inside the helicopter as the plume neared the flying machine. It thrusted forward, out of harm’s way.

“PSAAAIII!” Psyduck screeched, glaring at me. Recognizing a Disable attack in the making, I launched myself forward at the yellow duck, clamping down on it in my large jaws. It let out another cry in pain, and I heard a soft buzzing behind me. Jerking my neck backwards, I flung the duck at the vibrating dragonfly that attempted to sneak up on me. They both fell to the ground, moaning.

“RAT!” Raticate yelped, leaping at me, chattering its teeth excitedly. Skarmory swooped in from above us, and slammed her large steel wings into the brown mouse. Raticate tumbled to the ground, still chattering its teeth. Vibrava, angered, launched itself at Skarmory, breathing the blue fire of a Dragonbreath attack.

I slammed my foot down on the ground, hoping to use a Lava Plume attack. Lava shot up from the ground, but I turned to see Psyduck focusing intently on me. Expecting a Disable attack, I jumped towards it, but suddenly, water poured down on the volcano in a Water Sport attack. Hot steam billowed up around us. I heard Skarmory cry out in pain, it was obviously hurting her.

Suddenly, Raticate slammed into my side, grabbing onto my unprotected skin with its teeth. I felt like my stamina was flying away from me, so I assumed he had hit me with a Super Fang attack. I flung myself to the ground with the mouse Pokemon under me, and it let go. Leaping back up, I gave it a swift hit with my thick iron plated head. “Rat…” it mumbled, collapsing on the ground, unconscious.

I couldn’t help but laugh as I saw Vibrava darting around in the thick steam, as the grunts obviously didn’t know what they were doing. Vibrava stopped for a second, and I made a screechy noise, like metal rubbing against metal, aimed at it. The sound waves reached it, and it spun around wildly, the high-pitched noise getting to it. It looked wildly around for what had caused the noise, trying to see through the steam.

All this time, I had been hearing the helicopter whirring, and the pink-haired lady screaming her orders, but now a new noise joined in—the flapping of wings. I jerked around to see a large purple thing, with a small body and four long wings jutting out of its body. It flapped its wings wildly in a Defog attack, clearing the area.

“There it is! Get it now!” The grunts roared, obviously angered.

“PSAIDUCK!” the yellow duck screamed, opening its tan beak. An enormous stream of water shot out, aimed right at me. I tried to move out of the way, but fear of being captured seemed to have frozen me in place. The high pressured water hit me like a bullet.


“GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!” I screamed, wanting the pain to be over. My vision began to fade in and out, with the lady screaming orders in the background. I felt something that felt like a blanket cover me, and then, darkness.
__________________

Last edited by Stinky; 10-09-2008 at 09:28 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 09-21-2008, 04:50 PM
Stinky's Avatar
Stinky Offline
Garbage Can
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 4,794
Send a message via AIM to Stinky
Default Re: Cry from the Mysterious [STORY DEAL]

My eyes drifted awake, and I found myself lying on my belly in a cage. I was being rocked back and forth, up and down by some mysterious force. I groggily forced myself up. Thick metal bars trapped me in a cage that was barely large enough for me. A thick metal floor sat beneath me. I laughed. I was a fire-type. Did they really expect metal to contain me?

Sucking in a deep breath, I reached for the energy that would allow me to melt the metal bars that stood between freedom and me. Strangely enough, I felt helpless.

A shrill laugh turned my attention to a door that was set into the dreary gray walls of the room that my cage was set in. A tall lady with a strange pink ponytail walked in. She wore a gray and white blouse, which ended at her thigh. As she entered, I growled at her. With another evil laugh, she walked toward me, trailing her pink painted fingernails against the wall.

“Having trouble finding enough power to melt down those bars? Keep trying darling,” she cackled, her voice dripping with poison. “You draw your power from the land. Out here on the sea, you can’t feel the land beneath you, therefore, you’re practically powerless!”

She was right. I felt like a giant lump. My movements had become sluggish, and I felt as if I had just walked a marathon. “Ungh…” I groaned. She laughed at me, almost as if pitying me.

“Save it. Once we get to the mainland, we’ll have scientists watching you. Having a legendary Pokemon like you will be good for Team Galactic,” she said with an evil grin. As she headed out of the room, my vision began to fade, and I slipped into unconsciousness.

~


As I drifted back into consciousness, I felt the same way that I had before- queasy and weak. I was in the same metal cage as before, but now, I was in what looked like a large room. My cage was hanging from four chains that dropped out of the ceiling, planting me halfway between the floor and the ceiling. About a story below me, a large pool of clear blue water lay still, its surface remaining undisturbed.

I took a cautious step forward, and found that the cage rocked slightly from side to side. Very faintly, I could hear the noises of people bustling around, probably after seeing me wake up. I felt like some sort of celebrity, although this wasn’t a glamorous feeling.

The large room had dreary gray walls, with nothing adorning them, save for on one wall, where a mirror spanned the length of the wall, making me think it was really a window for the Team Galactic scientists. A small door was located in the bottom corner of the room, with some levers and buttons that were marked with colors.

I sighed. Would I ever manage to get out of here? It seemed bleak, but I knew I had to keep pushing onward, otherwise there would be no chance of getting out.

The door at the bottom swung open, to revel a group of scientists who gawked at me. One grabbed a lever and pulled it down. The cage shook beneath me, making me stumble as the cage was brought closer to the water. As the cage inched along toward the water, I felt a fear that I hadn’t felt before. Was this how Pokemon felt when meeting something that disagreed with them? Luckily, the scientists stopped before it reached the water, and proceeded toward the cage.

I snarled, showing my fearsome teeth. Half of the scientists jumped in fear, and left the room, their white lab coats trailing behind them. The other two kept coming closer, mumbling to themselves. As the two that were leaving exited the room, a new scientist entered.

She wore a lab coat like the other two, but underneath, she wore a forest green button-up shirt with small yellow buttons. She had maroon pants, rolled up to just beneath her knees. She had messy brown hair that was put into a ponytail, and strange pink sunglasses resting atop her head. Slung over her shoulder was a pink purse.

The two scientists didn’t seem to have heard her come in, so they continued jotting notes down on their clipboards. As she approached, her heels made a click-clack noise on the linoleum floor, and they turned to look at her. “Hey, who are you?” they demanded, angrily pointing their pens at her.

Looks like she doesn’t belong here,” Ditto said in my mind. I nodded my head, but my face turned to that of awe as she removed the purse, and took a swing at the two scientists. There was a thud as it hit their heads, and they silently collapsed to the floor. She grinned.

“Well? Come on! I’m getting you out of here!” she announced, trotting over to the levers. As soon as she pulled one, the pool of water beneath me began to be covered up by a floor that slid out of the side. She lowered the cage, and ran over to me, clicking the whole way.

“But, how did you know I was here? And who are you?” I demanded, as she pulled out a key, shoving it into the small lock on the cage.

“You can talk? This country just keeps getting weirder and weirder…” she muttered, furiously picking at the lock. There was a click, and she leaped up triumphantly. “Yes! Got it!” she pulled the cage open, and I sluggishly moved out of the cage, onto the floor. Still feeling weak, I began to move slowly toward the door. “Come on, hurry up! They’ve surely figured out that I’m here,” she hastened, trying to get me to move faster.

“I can’t!” I yelped in my screechy voice. “I apparently draw my power from land, and since we’re above water…” I trailed off, thinking of the pool beneath me.

“Apparently?!” she squeaked, as I had obviously surprised her. I took a final footstep, and as I set my foot on the ground, I felt a rush of energy sweeping through me.

“Yeah,” I said, gaining strength. By now we had reached the door. “I’m not really a Heatran. I’m a human. That’s why I can speak…” I told her, reaching for the easily findable energy. She went to open the door, but I stopped her. “I won’t fit,” I chuckled, and let loose a blast of fire. It seared through the wall, revealing a group of grunts that had seen my escape coming. They glared menacingly at us, holding guns of some kind, presumably stun guns.

“Uh-oh,” the scientist said, creeping back behind me.

“Don’t worry,” I said, feeling an enormous energy boost. It swelled up inside of my chest, waiting to be let loose. I wanted to use a fire attack, but I would probably kill the grunts, and maybe even the scientist behind me, and I didn’t want to do that.

Stomp your foot on the ground!” Ditto commanded, and I obliged. I raised one enormous foot, and smashed it into the ground, feeling the energy flow through it into the ground. The grunts began to laugh, not shooting, but they soon began to regret that. Pillars of dirt and mud shot up through the floor of the narrow hallway, flinging the grunts aside. I ran forward, and as I ran, the Earth Power attack stopped any grunts coming towards me. The female scientist was not far behind me, and we fled the building.

~~

Half an hour later, the scientist and I were lying under a large pine tree, breathing heavily. “So,” I huffed, gasping for air. “Who are you, and how did you find me?”

The scientist smiled at me. “My name is Ema Skye. I’m a forensics scientist, studying abroad in this country. It certainly is much different than my country, with these Pokemon…” she said, staring off into the woods around us. Small gray and white Starly hopped between trees, twittering happily. The forest was made up with the same trees as we sat under, their green needles absorbing the sun. “I was visiting a friend here over in Eterna City when I saw a bunch of those Team Galactic grunts laughing about how they had easily captured a Heatran, so I decided to check it out. I snuck in, and here we are now…”

“Wow. Thanks for rescuing me, by the way,” I laughed, enjoying being able to move quickly again. A pair of Buneary, their big brown ears perking up to listen for danger, scuttled off at the strange noise I produced when I laughed.

“So, you’re a human?” Ema said, disbelief in her voice. I nodded.

“Yeah, I was on Stark Mountain, and I fell into the volcano. My Ditto jumped in after me, and he melted into my skin or something, and transformed into Heatran, but I don’t know how to get him off my skin,” I mumbled.

Ema’s eyes brightened up. “That’s just the kind of thing I know how to do! In my country, there was a product that you could go out and buy from the store. It separated glue from paper. It seems like just the kind of thing you need!” she chirped, ecstatic. My face brightened up.

“Great! But our stores here only stock Trainer supplies…” I told her sadly. Ema winked at me, pulling her sunglasses down over her eyes. She stood up, brushing pine needles off of her pants.

“Well, there’s a man who lives in this forest, in the abandoned mansion. He’s apparently a strange man, but he knows science like nobody else. I think we may be able to get help from him,” Ema announced, setting off into the forest. I followed her, hoping that this man would be able to solve my problem.

Soon, we reached a creepy old mansion that seemed to sit in the middle of nowhere. It was two stories high, with windows dotting the front of the mansion. It was painted a ghastly purple color, and it gave off an eerie aura. Ema glanced at me. “I dunno if you want to come in, do you really want him seeing you?” she inquired as we stood at the front door, its doorknocker staring down evilly at us.

“Yeah,” I said fiercely. “We don’t really know what this guy is like, much less what he does…”

Suddenly, the door flung open, revealing a man. He was tall, with messy black hair, and intense green eyes. He wore black gloves, and a blue overcoat that looked like something pulled out of the past. Long blue pants adorned his bottom half, and pointed black shoes stared up at us from his feet.

“Why, hello there,” he said, moving aside. “I knew you would be coming,” he laughed, and Ema and I entered the room. It was large, and empty. No lights illuminated the room, only sunlight flowing in through broken windows. “So, you’re a Heatran, eh…?” he asked me, running a gloved finger along my back, sending chills down my spine.

Don’t trust this guy,” Ditto warned. “There’s something about him that I really don’t like…

“And you, Ms. Ema Skye,” he laughed, approaching Ema. I growled fiercely by instinct, I had grown to like her in such a short period of time. Ema gave him a weird look.

“We came to ask you a question,” she murmured, shrugging away from the strange man’s touch. “Is there any substance that can undo a bond? Like glue or something,” she said, obviously not wanting to tell him that I was really a Heatran.

“But of course,” he said. “But if you want me to tell you, I’ll need something in return from you,” he said slyly, eyeing the Pokeball that poked out of her purse. Ema gave him a strange look.

“What, a battle?” she asked. This man was certainly very odd.

“Yes… A battle as you call it,” he grinned, walking backwards. I began to walk with Ema towards one side of the large room, but she shook her head at me.

“No, I can do this,” she commanded. I stepped back, out of the way. Ema grabbed the Pokeball, and pressed the button. “Go, Yanma!” she squeaked. A flash of red light revealed a strange bug. It had a small green head, with a red abdomen shooting out of the back, spouting a small red two-pronged tail at the end. Small black eyes glanced around the eerie room as it fluttered about on clear wings.

“A Yanma! Very interesting… I’ll send out my Vulpix!” he yelled, pointing a Pokeball towards the middle of the field. After another bright flash of light, a small fox appeared in the middle of the field. It was rather cute, with dark red fur that seemed so soft. It spouted six tails from its rear, all flicking happily back and forth. “Alright, Vulpix!” he yelled, his voice wild. “Let’s get started off with a Quick Attack!”

Vulpix charged forward towards Yanma, its red body zigzagging across the floor. It leaped into the air at Yanma, trying to use its body as a ram.

“Yanma! Dodge its attack, and try a Quick Attack of your own!” Ema ordered. Just as Vulpix was about to slam into Yanma, Yanma quickly darted to the side, and charged down at Vulpix, ramming into it. Vulpix was flung back, bracing itself in the floor.

The man growled. “Vulpix! Don’t take that! Use a Fire Spin attack!” he roared. Vulpix stood on its hind legs, facing the flying bug, and spat out globs of fire that zoomed toward Yanma at frightening speeds.

“Yanma! Use Detect to try and avoid the attack!” Emma retorted. Yanma’s eyes sparkled, and as the fires zoomed at it, they slowed down, and dropped harmlessly to the floor. “Alright! Now try a Wing Attack on it!” Ema yelled. The man looked angry, and he stamped his foot on the ground.

“Vulpix! Stop the bug with an Extrasensory attack!” he roared.

My eyes were diverted from the battle to something strange on the floor. Where the embers had fallen, lines glowed in a strange red color. Looking down by my feet, I could see black lines running all over the floor like veins. “What’s this?!” Ditto squeaked meekly inside my head.

I dunno, I thought, shaking my head. [i]But there is something very wrong with this man.

“Yanma!” Ema screamed, watching her dragonfly writhe on the floor in pain as the fox tortured it, its eyes glowing purple.

“YAAAAAAAAAAAN!” it screeched, as its abdomen thrashed wildly about.

“Now Vulpix! Finish it off with a Fire Blast attack!” he roared crazily, laughing evilly. Vulpix gathered its breath, and exhaled deeply, the air before it catching on fire, and shooting towards Yanma.

“Yanma! Don’t let it get you! Use an Air Slash attack to hit the flames away!” Ema yelled to the bug. Vulpix’s hold on Yanma had broken with this new attack, so Yanma leapt up, and began to madly zoom from left to right, creating air waves that flew at the fire. The fire stopped in midair, and fell to the floor, it ashes being absorbed into what seemed to be a large circle in the room.

Ema gasped. “What’s that!?” she screamed, staggering back.

“None of your business!” the man yelled, angered by Ema’s success at parrying off his attacks. I saw his eyes dart down to the Pokeball that lay at her feet, and he grabbed yet another Pokeball from his belt. “I didn’t want to have to resort to this, but come on out, Croagunk!” he laughed, flinging another Pokeball into the circle, which glowed a dull red throughout the room.

The new Pokemon revealed itself to be a frog of some sort. It had dark blue, almost purple skin. Its cheeks were red, and they became much larger, almost like a sack of air, as it inhaled, and became smaller as it exhaled. It had small black hands, with three small fingers on each one. Its slimy skin made me want to puke. “Croooo,” it muttered.

“Croagunk! Attack that Pokeball!” he roared. The frog rushed towards Ema, and she jumped back, alarmed by the fierce little creature. It ran one of its hands along its side, pulling slime off it itself, and it slapped it down onto the Pokeball. The ball quivered, then shattered, flinging small pieces everywhere. Yanma suddenly looked confused, and it looked around, dazed.

“Yan?” it chirped, looking at Ema.

“Hey! You can’t do that!” I burst, running forward.

“So you can talk too! Well, this certainly is interesting…” he muttered, reaching for another Pokeball from his belt. “Time for me to capture a Yanma!” he laughed, flinging the red and white ball at the bug. Yanma was absorbed, and the Pokeball fell to the floor, shaking. It suddenly stopped, and with a ding, I saw fear in Ema’s eyes. Her Pokemon had just been stolen.

“GRRRRRRRRRRAGH!” I roared, charging towards the man. I wouldn’t let him get away with this.

“Croagunk! Hit it with a Revenge attack!” he screamed, as I approached him. Not caring whether I hurt him or not, I rammed my thick iron head into him, sending him flying against a wall. Underneath me, I heard a crunch, and I looked down to see two crushed Pokeballs. Croagunk slammed into me, hitting me hard with his small fist.

My whole body burst out in pain. I screamed, my metallic voice becoming less metallic as I felt myself being tortured by some strange kind of pain. Suddenly, the pain was gone, and I found myself lying on the ground next to a small pink blob.

“What?” I asked, jumping up. I was no longer a Heatran! “Ema!” I yelped happily. Croagunks’s slime had been the answer to my problem!

“Wow! You’re a human again!” Ema said triumphantly, walking over to Yanma’s Pokeball, and she smashed down on it with one of her high heels. It shattered, and Croagunk looked around.

“Cro-o-o?” it asked, confused. From where it had been lying, Ditto leaped up onto my shoulder, making noises that sounded like words, but I didn’t understand the blob. I laughed, and looked at the man in the corner. He looked to be unconscious, so I turned to Ema.

“I really did him in, huh?” I chuckled. She nodded. By now, Yanma, Vulpix and Croagunk were wandering around aimlessly, although in a group. With a sigh, I grabbed three Pokeballs from my belt, and chucked them at the trio of Pokemon.

“I won’t… let you get off that easy…” the man muttered, and Ema and I turned to him. He had crawled over to the edge of the red glowing circle, and was standing on his knees. With quite a bit of effort, he managed to slap his hands together, and put them on the veiny circle, making it glow even more fiercely. “Haha, haha…” he trailed off, collapsing onto the ground.

“Ema!” I yelped, unsure of what was going on. Out of the corner of my eye, as my vision began to fade away, I saw three balls shaking. They shook once, twice…

For: Croagunk, Vulpix, Yanma
Characters: 41,365
Needed: 30k-60k
FINISHED

Notes: Yes, Ema Skye is from Pheonix Wright/Apollo Justice. I couldn't resist throwing her in here. :>
__________________

Last edited by Stinky; 10-09-2008 at 09:30 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 09-26-2008, 07:18 PM
The Jr Trainer's Avatar
The Jr Trainer Offline
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 8,426
Send a message via AIM to The Jr Trainer Send a message via MSN to The Jr Trainer Send a message via Yahoo to The Jr Trainer Send a message via Skype™ to The Jr Trainer
Default Re: Cry from the Mysterious [STORY DEAL]

Plot/Story:
So basically a kid is battling Heatran, runs away, then falls into a volcano but his Ditto gets into his skin somehow and turns him into a Heatran and they live through the firey lava that was going to be the entrance to their death. Then he gets captured by a Team Galatic and sent to a labratory to be studied. He's then saved by this Ema person and taken a Mansion where he is transformed back into a human and a battle emerges.

Overall, never read any story much like it. :p Yes I've read person transforming into a Pokemon, but nothing like a Pokemon going inside another then transforming. That's just a new kind of imagination. :P You get credit for that; originality. That's what you really want to put into your stories, a lot of originality. Seriously, it makes it a lotlotlot more interesting, which makes the reader like your story which means you're doing a good job, but enough of this boring stuff you know.

What I could see you adding was something more of a connection, everything seemed to go on very fast, yes this seemed to be the point of the story, everything going on very fast, but you had almost no time to elebarote on what was already going on. Blackouts with everything going on, you could make it more long... really, I could see if you added something onto the meat of the story things being more interesting. And instead of the TG members just throwing out their Pokemon and then he faints and gets captured, there could be a battle there, something really exciting. ^^;

As I said, more meat to the story, the real good interesting stuff, could have more. Not just something with a lot of bone and little meat, add some meat onto it. We all have hearty apetites here. D:<

Introduction:
I really liked this, actually. It got me quite into the story. When he was driftin away to his lava filled death and his life showed before him, sure cliche and all, but it makes a good introduction, no matter how many times it's been used in the past. So kudos to you for making me not be able to stop reading your story since the beginning really was "all that." And that all that start to a story makes for a good ending to one too. ;P

Grammar/Spelling:
Good here, though I'm not very picky about grammar since I don't think its the biggest problem in the world that you have absolute perfect grammar. :/

“Oh, I dunno. I’m just… thinking.” I replied.
You'd want a comma there, but I'm pretty sure you just did that on accident.

“Alright. Well, anyway, a family of Skarmories on the mountain was upset by your lava flow."
"Skarmories" is technically incorrect. Pokemon names are both singular and plural, so no need for adding anymore than Skarmory.

Yea that's all I really saw that had any kind of interest to me. :o

Length:
I could actually see this being longer, since you didn't seem to elaborate any on the depths of how some things happened. But good for the most part.

Detail/Description:
The physical description that you put into everything was quite awesome, but you never seemed to put any thought into the... thought. The emotions the characters show off can be really important sometimes, maybe not so much in this story. But when Brad is turned into the Heatran-- or even falling to his death, shouldn't there be some emotion? Or he is just some kind of emotionless tree? (LOL GET THE PUN?) Anyway. XD Yes, you could use a bit more mood into the story, and get the characters a bit well known with the readers. Make them feel like they know each other; on an emotion and physical level (Yes, Jr has gone do the dark side of emotional weirdness!).

Now back to the physical description. I loved it. Honestly. It was portrayed nicely, eveyrthing could be seen vividly in my eyes, I didn't even have to think about it. It was just there, sitting in front of me. Good work, good work.

Battle:
At first I thought this was going to be really short and boring, but it turned out to be really good and exciting. I understand that they were in an old creepy mansion, but could they not be thrown against the walls or something. Or maybe they fly and run up the giant staircase when they're battling. Use the surroundings, I know sometimes it hard to do, but its and old fragile mansion, maybe if something hits a pillar the roof will collapse. Anything can happen! Just imagine!

The attacks, though, you used well. Vareity, explaination, etc. All that good stuff, you made this a real battle. And it wasn't one sided, maybe for a few seconds, but everything evened out by the end of the fight. Good enough for me.

Final Outcome:
Overall this was a great story. But I could see the plot being explained a bit more, some of the stuff was a bit unclear. So for now I'm going to have to say, 2 mons captured! If you want the other one, then add in a bit of explaination to how Brad gets captured by TG.
__________________

Last edited by The Jr Trainer; 09-28-2008 at 06:39 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 09-28-2008, 08:30 PM
Stinky's Avatar
Stinky Offline
Garbage Can
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 4,794
Send a message via AIM to Stinky
Default Re: Cry from the Mysterious [STORY DEAL]

Okay. I'll take Croagunk and Yanma for now, and I'll shoot you a PM when I'm ready for a regrade.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 10-09-2008, 09:33 PM
The Jr Trainer's Avatar
The Jr Trainer Offline
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 8,426
Send a message via AIM to The Jr Trainer Send a message via MSN to The Jr Trainer Send a message via Yahoo to The Jr Trainer Send a message via Skype™ to The Jr Trainer
Default Re: Cry from the Mysterious [STORY DEAL]

You didn't do anything I said to. D:<

Just kidding!!... maybe.

Okay, this is cool-y-er for sure, you added some stuff on made it all spiffy and all that good stuff. You could add more but I see this being perfectly fine as it is and since I didn't explain a whole lot of what to add on I'm going to be nice be all like, "OMG THE LAST MON CAPTURED!!!"

In other words, you added enough for me to think the story is three-medium mon caluber and that the first pixy thing or whatever it is, is yours! :D

Vulpix capture-ized!


/failregrade lul
__________________
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 09:32 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Style Design: AlienSector.com