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Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


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  #1  
Old 02-05-2009, 10:54 PM
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Default Team Pwnsome 2: When Noobs Attack! [Chapter 20 up. SPOILER: IN THE END, THE DOG DIES]

Quick Note Against Story Stealing: This story has been posted only here, by me. If you see anyone post this on any other website (or this one), fall upon them from the sky like lightning and destroy them with the great fist of doom.

Author's Note: Yup, I actually started on my story! XD
Don't flame me because the plot is similar to that of PMD2, I'm trying to parody it.


CHAPTER 1: DON'T EAT DANGEROUS KELP

2012
OUT OF TIME

Three figures paced around a large, shimmering bubble of opaque energy, muttering amongst themselves.

“Are you sure that this is the legendary Pokémon with the ultimate power? It looks so… pink!”

“Don’t forget, Uxie, Kirby was pink, and he had enough power to destroy Nightmare.”

“Yes, I know, Mesprit… but that’s neither here nor now! How can this be the creature to save the world?!”

“Well, this is the Pokémon Arceus chose as his successor, and he’s never been wrong before…”

“Azelf, I think you’re forgetting about the Chocolate-chip Ice Cream Incident.”

“Whatever you say. You’re the one who’s omniscient.”

“So, are we going to do this? We’re running out of time.”

“We ARE Out of Time.”

“You know what I meant.”

“OK, we’ve idled long enough. NOW!”

Turning as one towards the bubble, the figures raised their arms. The gems embedded in their heads glowed and shot out beams of light towards the bubble, encasing it in shimmering energy. Eventually, the bubble was barely visible under the cascade of glowing power-and then it wasn’t there.

2026
KINGLER BEACH

A pink figure sat down on a rock and watched the waves roll into the sand.

“All sorts of interesting stuff shows up at this beach… It’s sort of fun to see what rolls in when I’m feeling down. Like, remember that time we found the vaguely toilet-paper-shaped block of driftwood, Gus? Gus?”

Silence from the space directly next to the Pokémon.

“It’s official. My imaginary friend has ditched me.”

Sighing and slumping down further against the rocks behind it, the creature resigned itself to a pastime slightly more thrilling than counting the panels on the living room ceiling.

“Driftwood… … kelp… Raichu… better do a double take five items from now… more driftwood…more kelp… more driftwood… more kelp… even more driftwood… WHAT IN THE-“

Rushing over to the unconscious rodent, the pink Pokémon began to shake it. “UP! UP! UP!”
The Raichu rolled over, coughed up a quantity of water about equal to twice its lung capacity, and opened its eyes. “Uh… thanks… Where am I?”

“This is Kingler Beach. My name’s Mew. Want to start a rescue team?”

“Hmm, let me think about that for a little bit… NO.”

Mew dropped to the ground, its sudden lapse of vigor ending.

“Eh… Arrgh… I’ve asked everyone else… I thought you’d be the one who could make all of my wild rescue-team fantasies come true… but you’re just another Raichu…”

The Raichu said, “Sorry, but I don’t even know what a rescue team IS, and if I did, I doubt I’d start one with a complete stranger… wait, what did you say I was?”

It checked itself over quickly as if attempting to notice an elusive mustard stain that it just knew was there and in a very embarrassing spot, and said, “Well. I am a Raichu! That’s odd. I could swear I’m a human…”

“A human? Don’t be silly. Humans are only in video games!”

“I would have said the same thing about Pokémon until about two minutes ago. Ah, well. Off to find answers. Thanks for waking me up!”

And the electrical rodent began to walk away. Sensing its chance to make this newcomer exist in its life for more than two minutes fading rapidly, Mew called, “WAIT! What’s your name?”

“Pokol Da’Erran. Why is it important?”

Realizing it was in a situation that was difficult to lie its way out of, Mew decided honesty was the best policy. “Well… I was sort of hoping you could be my friend…”

“Why?”

“Well… because everyone thinks I’m a… a…”

Suddenly, Mew bawled out the entire story behind its happening to arrive at the beach in a futile attempt to curtail its self-esteem problems… how he had tried to sign up for a rescue team, but hadn’t had the courage… how the local bullies had mugged him and taken his most precious possession… how he had lied there on the ground, playing dead, as they laughed and walked away with the only thing that had kept him going the past fourteen years…

“If it’s so precious to you, go and get it back!”

The pure contrast of Pokol’s words with everything Mew stood for (or, in this case, lied down for) sliced through its flashback like a knife through butter. For a moment, all the Legendary could do was gape at the Raichu, before it managed to move its mouth and produce sounds that slightly resembled,

“What?”

“You said they live around here. Go over to their house, knock them out, and take what they stole back from them!”

At that moment, Mew realized two things about Pokol. 1. He likes beating people up. 2. He’s not intimidated very easily.

“…Could you help me?”

“Since I doubt whether you’d be able to make it within twenty feet of their abode before dropping dead from pure terror without me, sure.”

And although neither was aware of it at the time, that was just about the start of Team Pwnsome 2.
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Last edited by Pokol DaErran; 10-21-2009 at 03:28 AM. Reason: Every chapter gets worse and worse!
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  #2  
Old 02-07-2009, 11:01 PM
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Default Re: Team Pwnsome 2: When Noobs Attack!

Because I finish what I start, even though nobody cares about it.

CHAPTER 2: HOW TO BREAK DOWN AN OPEN DOORWAY

Most people were asleep at this hour of the night. However, if any of them had mysteriously been unable to sleep, if they’d just sat in the moonlight and read a book until they were ready to drift off, and if they’d chanced to look out the window, they would have seen something that was slightly unusual in their part of the neighborhood.

Two figures crept down the eerily illuminated dirt road through the village, one floating with a coil of rope slung over one shoulder and the other carrying what looked to be a burlap bag full of seeds.

“Pokol, I’m not sure this is a very good idea…”

“Of course it’s not a good idea! That’s what makes it FUN!”

“I’m not so sure about this…”

“Excellent! You seem to have grown enough of a spine to consider not doing what somebody tells you! If you don’t feel like doing this, I can probably take them myself, you know-Ooh, I think this is their house! Stand back.”

Mew hurriedly floated a few paces back as Pokol pulled a seed out of his bag and hurled it at the door.

The door exploded.

It was awesome.

“Blast Seeds. Never leave home without them.” Pokol said, grinning widely. “Now, let’s go!”

“Just one thing.” Mew said. “The door didn’t have a lock. Why’d you blow it up? We could have just opened it.”

“You’ll never be an action hero with that kind of attitude!”

Mew rolled his eyes and stepped through the giant hole that used to be a doorway. By the time he’d gotten up the courage to go halfway through the living room, Pokol was already at the bully’s bedroom, and stopped Mew with the raise of a hand.

“I think we should be careful here.”

“Why? We came here to tie up a bully and steal something. I think the time for ‘careful’ is long gone.”

“Because somebody’s doing our job for us.”

The Legendary pulled the rope off its shoulder, threw it to the floor, and rushed over to Pokol. Shivering, it slowly peered around the Raichu, clenching his shoulder tightly.

The Zubat who had occupied the bed until previously was now bound and gagged. By it, some sort of mutant …creature with strange hunks of cloth hanging off of it was rummaging through the cabinets by the bed.

“Pokol!” Mew hissed. “Do you know what that thing is?”

“It looks almost like… a Maple Story character…” Seeing the bewildered look on Mew’s face, Pokol explained; “It’s a human role-playing game. You wouldn’t understand it, humans have technology beyond what you do.”

Suddenly, the creature turned its face, stuck in a permanent expression of outrage, from the dresser to examine a sort of stone card. “AH-HA!”

Feeling Mew's grip on his shoulder tighten, Pokol whispered, “That’s your ‘precious possession.’ Right?”

Mew nodded-and suddenly, the creature turned to face him.

“IAMULTIMATE! UISPHAIL! MESOZPLOXORYOUSHALLBEELIMINATED!SELLINGSNOWPIECES@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@!!!”

“Do you know what it’s saying?”

Groaning, Pokol said, “I know one thing. That’s a Noob.”

“A what?”

“I can’t tell you. It’s too horrible.”

“Can you kill it?”

With a shrug, Pokol pulled another Blast Seed out of his bag. “I don’t see why not.” He hurled the seed.

The right half of the house exploded, leaving a half-circle of shattered stone and brick, three Pokémon (counting one very charred bully) a large crater, and inside of that crater, a completely unchanged Noob.

Pokol raised an eyebrow. “It doesn’t look like that explosion hurt it at all. That’s odd.”

Mew yelled, “RUN AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!” and ran as fast as he could out of the house. Pokol shrugged and followed him.

After they’d ran about five miles from the house, Mew dodged into a nearby cave and sat down on a rock, panting. “Phwew… that was… scary…”

“Don’t look now, but that Noob followed us here.”

Mew shrieked and dashed out of the cave, moving too quickly for the Noob, which was now past the cave entrance, to grab. While the fiendish creature looked around for its quarry, Pokol dived through its legs, rolled, and got up outside of the cave. Pulling his third and final Blast Seed out of his sack, he hurled it at a spot above the cave entrance.

The wall of granite shook with the blast and a cascade of boulders came down, covering up the cave entrance. Mew spun around with shock, realized what had happened, and stopped, relieved.

“Good thinking! That should hold it for a while.”

“Not for long. You can’t stop a Noob with a physical barrier alone. We can only get rid of it if it loses our trail.”

Groaning, Mew floated a foot forward, floated another foot, and collapsed on the ground.

“Oh, GREAT!” Pokol remarked. “He fainted from terror! Guess I’m gonna have to save him…”

Picking up Mew, Pokol spun around, chose a random direction, and ran.

He then ran directly into the cliff wall.

Cursing, Pokol ran off in a direction unrestricted by walls.

Behind him, a massive roar of “MESOZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!” and a sound distinctly like boulders shattering indicated that his makeshift barrier had lasted for even less time than he’d expected it to. Pokol glanced backwards to see the Noob catching up to him quickly, then looked back forwards to find that he was about to run off the edge of a cliff.

The Raichu skidded to a stop and hesitated. The Noob yelled, “MESOZ OR DEFAME!@@@@@@@”

With a slight shrug, Pokol threw his empty bag over the Noob’s head and backflipped off the cliff.
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  #3  
Old 02-08-2009, 02:12 PM
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Default Re: Team Pwnsome 2: When Noobs Attack! [Chapter 2 up. Like you care.]

XD This is priceless.
I don't know why, but I can actually picture them making an anime out of it so far.
Keep writing, XD
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  #4  
Old 02-08-2009, 04:22 PM
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Default Re: Team Pwnsome 2: When Noobs Attack! [Chapter 2 up. Like you care.]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Michelle8936 View Post
XD This is priceless.
I don't know why, but I can actually picture them making an anime out of it so far.
Keep writing, XD
Glad you like it. :D
Chapter 3 should be up sometime soon.
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Old 02-08-2009, 05:17 PM
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Default Re: Team Pwnsome 2: When Noobs Attack! [Chapter 2 up. Like you care.]

And now, without further ado...

CHAPTER 3: SWIMMING LESSONS ARE A WASTE OF MONEY

Mew rolled over in his hammock with a decidedly satisfied sigh. Oh, yeah, this was the life. Just himself, a piece of fabric, two trees, a cool drink, and total relaxation…

“Mew!”

Mew rolled again to face the direction the voice had come from with a groan.

“Pokol, I know you’ve got at least five megatons of dynamite on you right now, and I want you to get them all off of you before you come within three miles of my hammock.”

“I highly recommend you wake up!”

The Legendary sighed and settled deeper into the hammock.

“Why would I want to wake up? It’s too nice here.”

“For one thing, I can’t swim.”

“Why would that be a problem? It’s not like you just jumped off a cliff while carrying my limp body in your arms or anything…”

“Yeah, about that. You’re not going to like this…”

Mew woke with a start, and almost fainted again. “AAAH!!! Oh, come ON! I can’t even leave you alone with my body for FIVE MINUTES without something like this happening?!”

“Yeah, that’s the general idea. Now, I just need you to tie this, loop this, pack this in…”

Mew observed that he was, strangely enough, holding materials that somewhat resembled the rubbish on the top of an average garbage heap.

“Pokol, we’re about to fall into the water and die! This is no time for an arts-and-crafts project!”

“Just do it!”

Mew managed to follow all of Pokol’s instructions without falling out of his hands, and chanced a glance at the end result. It resembled some sort of ground Rawst Berry packed into a hollow Oran Berry and plugged with a Max Elixir cap. “Uh, what the heck is that?”

“I picked up some garbage on the ground on the way here in case we needed to make it. It’s a-“

“Don’t tell me. It’s an explosive.”

“Bingo. You know, you’d really be surprised how much of the stuff you people throw away is combustible.”

“Pokol, I know that you like blowing stuff up, but spending your last hours on THAT is slightly insane.”

The Raichu shrugged, said “You won’t be saying that when this puppy gets us out of this mess,” pulled the plug off, hit the powder with a few electrical sparks from his fingers, and hurled the makeshift bomb at the waves.

It exploded.

Once again, it was awesome.

A giant tidal wave shot out from the spot where the berry bomb had exploded, carrying Pokol and Mew away on its crest.

Mew sighed. Carried away from death by sea only to fall victim to death by wave! We’re sure to be scuttled against the rocks somewhere… And, surely enough, his life was now flashing past his eyes. He could see himself getting beaten up… running away… getting beaten up… running away… getting beaten up… running away… Deciding it was best to focus on the current situation, Mew let out a scream of terror and glanced over at Pokol, hoping he would at least be able to share the Legendary’s terror.

Pokol was shouting “WOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” with an expression of avid enjoyment on his face.

Mew decided to go scream in terror alone.

After his voice became hoarse, he looked down and discovered he was sitting on a beach, with Pokol looking at him in a way that made it clear that his concern was the only thing stopping the Raichu from falling over laughing.

“Uhh… how long have I been sitting here screaming?” Mew asked.

“I’d say about eight minutes. Say, does this beach look familiar to you?”

The pink Pokémon took a glance around. “Nope. I don’t think we’re on any of the beaches I’ve ever had a guilt trip on.”

“Wow. We must be on another continent at the least.”

“Hey!”

Ignoring Mew’s cry of protest, Pokol suddenly shoved Mew behind a rock, dived behind said rock himself, and pointed.
“Pipe down and look over there!”

A ship was rolling into the beach. It resembled an ordinary ship in every way, except for the fact that, 1. It was rolling in by air, and 2. There generally aren’t any ships in the Pokémon world.

“Uh-oh.” Pokol groaned. “That’s the ship from Maple Island. That can only mean one thing. NOOBS.”

Sure enough, a platoon of creatures like the one they had seen in the bully’s house began to unload themselves from the ship. They looked almost identical… no, scratch that, they WERE identical. They all had the same military buzz cut and pajama outfit, they all had heads about the same size as their bodies, and they all had the same angry visage frozen on their features.

“Noobs.” Pokol muttered. “Not exactly known for originality. And, come to think of it, they’re all heading in the same direction… Curious.”

Mew shivered behind the rock. “So, what do we do now?” Mentally, he began to rehearse a single mantra like a nonverbal spell. Please don’t say follow them, please don’t say follow them, please don’t say follow them, please don’t say follow them, please don’t say follow them…

“We follow them, of course!”

Evidently Mew still needed to hone his talent for telepathy. Resigning himself to his fate, he began to follow Pokol as the Raichu jumped along the rocks.
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Old 02-08-2009, 05:48 PM
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Default Re: Team Pwnsome 2: When Noobs Attack! [Chapter 3 up. Not good for Mew.]

'It exploded. Once again, it was awesome.'

XD Yeah, that's my constructive criticism. Keep writing. ^^

I think my replies are getting to be as random as your chapters.
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Old 02-08-2009, 10:15 PM
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Default Re: Team Pwnsome 2: When Noobs Attack! [Chapter 3 up. Not good for Mew.]

*shoves fist into mouth*

This... is... HILARIOUS! Pokol has endless awesome one-liners, as does the narration. As it's a parody, I can't whine abo- er, critique your plot, and there were no spelling and grammar errors as far as I could see. Keep going!
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Old 02-08-2009, 11:03 PM
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Default Re: Team Pwnsome 2: When Noobs Attack! [Chapter 3 up. Not good for Mew.]

I give this Cortex's seal of approval; *stamps with approval seal*

Cortex: YOU took it!? I blamed Brio about that!

N. Brio: I TOLD you I didn't do it!
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Old 02-09-2009, 03:01 AM
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Default Re: Team Pwnsome 2: When Noobs Attack! [Chapter 3 up. Not good for Mew.]

I'm glad you all liked it. :D Expect Chapter 4 on Monday.
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Old 02-10-2009, 03:36 AM
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Default Re: Team Pwnsome 2: When Noobs Attack! [Chapter 3 up. Not good for Mew.]

And without further ado, the next horrible installment in my mind-crushingly awful saga!

CHAPTER 4: ALWAYS SHOW BEGGARS PITY

Pokol rolled behind a large boulder, gripped the top, and slowly peered over it.

“Hm. Looks like either these guys are extorting treasure, or it’s somebody’s birthday.”

A parade of Noobs pranced through a small town, carrying a large wagon of treasure. As the line walked past the huts, faces appeared in windows and treasure was thrown onto the cart, increasing their supply. The Raichu crept along the rock passage, watching the Noobs take each family’s most treasured possession until they came to the last hut.

Rather than an object flying out of the window, a Kangashan emerged from the door and started begging.

“Oh, please, pity me… You’ve come by three times today…. I can’t give you any more food, or my baby will starve…”

The Noob yelled “I PITY DA FOOL!” produced a plunger, and whacked the Kangashan in the face with it, knocking it out. Ten Noobs gathered around the Kangashan’s hut and hoisted it into the air, beginning to walk off with it as the group left with their treasure wagon.

Pokol prepared to make his move, but suddenly jumped back again as a Noob parted from the group and walked back. It stood over the Kangashan’s body, seemingly searching the space where the hut had been for something worth taking. It then yelled “AH-HA!”, pulled the Kangashan’s baby out of its pouch, and ran off to rejoin the throng, taking the screeching infant with it.

Suddenly, a scatter of rocks came from behind Pokol and a Pokémon slid down the slope to occupy a space that the previous tenant, Pokol, quickly jumped out of.

“Urrgh…” Mew groaned from the ground. “Rock climbing… too… exhausting… can’t… inhale…”

“This is no time to be whining, Mew! We have to follow those Noobs!”

Pokol vaulted over the boulder and ran behind another boulder, this one about twenty feet closer to the Noobs, as Mew slowly began to turn blue.

The human (well, not exactly) lemming flock of Noobs chattered among themselves as Pokol jumped behind several progressively closer boulders. Intrigued, the Raichu began to listen in.

“MESOZMESOZMESOZMESOZ!”

“MESOZPLZ NEED CLOTHZ”

“MESOZORIFALCONPUNCHYOMAMA”

Pokol stopped listening in.

Pressing himself against one of two particularly large boulders, he froze in place as the Noobs passed through the gap. He then gripped the edge of the boulder and slowly peeked around it.

Even he was slightly surprised by what was on the other side, and that’s saying something.

The Noobs had stopped with their wealth, baby, and hut so that they were positioned in front of a giant mountain of shiny objects. Occupying the not-quite-snow-covered (although it came pretty close) tip of this mountain like some deranged wise man was a Bulbasaur wearing ridiculous amounts of fancy jewelry, rolling in the gold.

As it noticed the Noobs and their haul, it barked “Commence!” and the moochers began to take items off the haul, presenting things to her (Pokol was pretty sure it was a “her” judging by her tone of voice.) one by one.

“Ooh, that one’s gold! Might just be gold paint, but I’ll find out soon enough. Throw it on! It’s not gold, but it’s pretty nice. Put it at the bottom. Ooh, a hut! Another place to put my endless mountain of wealth! Put it with the other huts. Urrgh, what’s making that horrible noise! Oh, that baby. I don’t like them, they’re too noisy. Throw it on the rubbish heap, the Camerupt will incinerate it.”

Pokol began to creep over to the pile, but suddenly, footsteps began to come his way. Pokol spun around, pulled the ring on a grenade, and was halfway through throwing it when he noticed who it was aimed at.

“AAAAH!!! I DON’T WANNA DIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!” The Legendary then keeled over and took a couple of frantic breaths to avoid passing out from lack of oxygen.

Pokol said “Oh, hi, Mew! When did you paint your face blue?” and casually tossed the grenade over his shoulder, where it went off, decimating a Rattata colony.

Mew groaned. “Urrgh. I can’t believe you did tha-WHAT IN TH-“

Mew’s sentence was cut off by Pokol shoving his paw over Mew’s mouth and pulling him behind the boulder. “Don’t yell, they’ll hear us!”

“You just detonated a grenade and they didn’t hear us. Do you seriously think that me yelling is going to get their attention?”

“Judging by your luck, yes.”

Sure enough, the Bulbasaur had turned her attention from her pseudo-landform of material wealth and was looking around frantically. “Who’s there?! I’m warning you, I have an underpaid army of invincible brain-dead role-players!”

The baby started crying again. Fortunately, the Bulbasaur’s attention was instantly diverted from the intruders upon her greed to the more immediate threat.

“SOMEBODY SHUT THAT BABY UP!!!”

A Noob produced a plunger and bashed the baby with it, knocking it out.

“Ah, that’s better. Now where was I… Oh, yes. GUARDS! FIND THE INTRUDERS!”

All of the Noobs spread out in a desperate effort to conduct a search in hopes of a bonus.

“Heh. Shows you how easy it is to stop anyone who tries to oppose you. Soon, the world will be ruled by ME, psychopathic pseudo-princess BULBIE! And now that the intruders’ hopeless attempt to reach me will soon be quelled, NOTHING can stand in my way.”

Suddenly, a form vaulted out from behind a boulder, carrying another form by the ear, and landed at the base of the mountain of riches.

“That may not be the best plan, considering we’re already here.”

“Did you have to include me in that sentence?” Mew groaned.
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  #11  
Old 02-10-2009, 10:32 AM
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Default Re: Team Pwnsome 2: When Noobs Attack! [Chapter 4 up. You're all doomed.]

N. Brio: *mutters about stolen ideas*

Cortex: *sticks a brick in Brio's mouth* Another good chapter! Keep it up, you might get a cookie *shows Pokol a cookie jar*
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Old 02-10-2009, 07:43 PM
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Default Re: Team Pwnsome 2: When Noobs Attack! [Chapter 4 up. You're all doomed.]

Bulbie the Psycho Psuedo-Princess? Nice one... and the roleplayers comment was kind of cute. But wouldn't hitting a baby's head with a plunger kill it? D:
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Old 02-15-2009, 12:32 AM
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Default Re: Team Pwnsome 2: When Noobs Attack! [Chapter 4 up. You're all doomed.]

Author's Note: A bit less humor here, a bit more fighting. But hey, a change can be nice.

CHAPTER 5: ALWAYS ROOT FOR THE UNDERDOG

Bulbie stared down at Pokol and Mew for a moment, apparently shocked by the concept that somebody might not like her commanding an army to ravage continents, steal everything of value they could find, and beat up defenseless infants. When she noticed that Pokol was taking advantage of her momentary confusion to climb her mountain of stolen goods, she came to her senses and shouted, “GUARDS! ATTACK!”

“You don’t have any Noobs within earshot right now, remember?” Pokol reminded her. “You sent them all out to apprehend us!”

“Oh. Right.” Bulbie kicked a shower of gold at the Raichu in an attempt to dislodge him, but Pokol easily avoided the deluge by clambering to the side of the mountain.

Evidently the fact that Pokol had completely dodged the attack didn’t stop Bulbie from using it again, as she tried the same tactic several times more, with equal success.

After the fifth kick, Bulbie stopped kicking and thought.

He’s not trying to move forward… he’s just dodging my attacks. Is there something I should have realized?

Bulbie glanced down and realized the truth of her own thoughts. Every kick she made dislodged part of the peak and lowered the area of the mountain she was standing on, bringing her closer to Pokol… and considering the interval it had taken her to figure that out, he was probably almost to her by now.

The Bulbasaur hurled herself down the mountain just as Pokol made a grab for her ankle, rolling down the gargantuan dragon hoard and coming to a stop about twenty feet from the base.

Bulbie sighed in relief. She was finally safe, and she should be able to make a run for it. Running was one thing she had always been particularly good at…

Her relief was shattered when a sound distinctly like a demolition charge came from the other side of the gold mountain, and it began to sway menacingly. Bulbie decided that, since proving the truth of her thoughts had worked once, that she might as well try it again, and ran out from underneath the mountain right before it toppled on the spot where she had previously been standing.

“Oh, great. A mad bomber. Just what MY world won’t need.”

“Your world?”

“A world where those who are chosen have everything and those who are not considered worthy toil to make such people’s lives better with little or no payment!”

“So, basically, your plan is to make the world a giant Nike sweatshop. Got it.”

Bulbie rolled her eyes. “Heathens. Some people just don’t understand my plans.” The Bulbasaur threw a Tackle at Pokol.
Pokol dodged and hurled some sort of gooey bomb at Bulbie. “How many heathens does it take to knock out a tyrant? Hint: the answer is less than two!”

Bulbie rolled to avoid the bomb, which soared past her and exploded nearby the ruins of the mountain, covering the area in a ten-foot radius with a sticky goo.

Unfazed by the failure of his gooey bomb, Pokol hurled an explosive charge behind Bulbie, directly into the center of the mountain, where it exploded, showering the area with gold.

Mew jumped backwards to avoid being decapitated by a large golden toilet bowl seat, then lost its footing when it hit the ground and fell over.

“Uh, Pokol? A little help here?”

“You can’t even get UP by yourself?”

“I don’t want to be knocked out by a solid gold toilet paper roll, thank you very much.”

Rolling his eyes, the Raichu jumped over Bulbie’s next Tackle attack and spun around in midair, so that he landed facing Bulbie. The mini-tyrant quickly dodged to the side and hid behind a giant golden refrigerator.

Pokol grinned and walked over to the refrigerator until he stood directly in front of it. Deciding this would be a good time to floor the adventurer, Bulbie began to push the refrigerator over in an attempt to flatten him. The fancy fridge tipped over and…

“BRICK BREAK!”

The unfortunate food cooling device shattered into eight pieces, eventually falling to earth like a reenactment of the extinction of the dinosaurs in miniature and embedding themselves in the ground.

Bulbie gaped. “Wha-how did you-You’re not supposed to know that move-“

“Eh. I figured it couldn’t be too hard.” Rolling backwards, Pokol thrust a hand out, forcing Bulbie to hurl herself to one side and fall over to avoid being blown in two by a Focus Blast.

The Raichu jumped and aimed a kick at Bulbie, who screamed, “I’ve had enough of this! HELP!”

Suddenly, the space where Bulbie was standing blurred, a sound distinctly like a tape recorder played, and Bulbie was standing ten feet away. Pokol hit the ground with a crash, caught off guard by the sudden change in the Bulbasaur’s position.

Mew got up from the ground, groaning. It had noticed something Pokol hadn’t; a green form appearing behind Bulbie and grabbing her in the space of a split-second before she disappeared.

Mew picked up two rocks and hurled one at Bulbie. The green form appeared again, pulled her out of space, and deposited her well out of its range; Mew focused on the other rock, and it shot out of his hand at lightning speed, knocking the form down before it could disappear again.

The creature-definitely a Pokémon-reeled from the impact. “Argh! Wha-how? You’re supposed to know nothing of your true power!”

“If Pokol gets to punch through solid gold refrigerators, throw Hadöken, and who knows what else, I should at least get to move rocks with my mind.”

“Good point.”

Mew telepathically hurled more rocks at the creature. Waving its hand, it yelled “Pause!” and the rocks stopped in midair momentarily. The same flicker and sound that had occurred around Bulbie right before her disappearances surrounded the rocks, and then they dropped to the ground, all forward momentum suddenly gone.

Suddenly, Mew remembered a strategy guide it had read a while ago and put a name to the creature. “Celebi!”
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Last edited by Pokol DaErran; 02-15-2009 at 12:35 AM.
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  #14  
Old 02-16-2009, 04:26 AM
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Default Re: Team Pwnsome 2: When Noobs Attack! [Chapter 5 up. Sucks to be you.]

Author's Note: I just realized that I have a plot for the beginning, a plot for the end, but no plot for the between segment XD Now I'm just making it up as I go, and I think it's beginning to show a little. :P

CHAPTER 6: LEGENDARY SCHMEGENDARY

“About time you figured it out. Yeah, that’s me. I’m here to destroy you. And it’s going to be fun.”

“Why destroy me? I’m just a harmless pink creature with low self-esteem!”

“I can’t give away my evil plan now, we’ve only just met!”

Celebi summoned a barrage of razor-sharp leaves out of the air, hurling them at Mew. The pink Pokémon flicked its hand at the barrage, and the Magical Leaf attack stopped in midair and turned itself around. Raising an eyebrow, the Time Travel Pokémon waved its arm in a counterclockwise circle. The leaves flickered, the tape-recorder sound Mew had figured out meant time travel played-in reverse this time-and the leaves seemed to move backwards in time till they were pointed at Mew once again.

“Hah! You are a mere child! You’ll never match the power of a true Legendary!”

The volley continued to change hands in this matter. Every time Mew turned the Magical Leaf attack around, it felt its strength draining out of its legs; but Celebi seemed to have no problem no matter how much it reversed time, and its leer grew wider as it began to notice Mew’s power leaving it.

Which left it mercifully oblivious to a recovered Pokol creeping up behind it as the volley went on, who eventually jumped up to match the height of the floating Legendary and bashed its head in with a vicious left hook.

Celebi screeched in pain from the Sucker Punch and tumbled to the ground; to add insult to injury, Mew found the strength to reverse the Magical Leaves one last time, pinning Celebi to the rocky earth.

Mew dropped from the ground, no longer able to levitate, and staggered to its Raichu friend, leaning on his shoulder.

“Arrgh. What happened? Why can I do all of these things? What AM I? Why do I think you’ll be able to answer any of my questions?”

“Beats me. Shouldn’t you be more worried about the fact that Celebi is getting away?”

Mew spun around on the spot. During Mew’s mini-heart attack, Celebi seemed to have extricated itself from the Magical Leaves; it was now standing with Bulbie, both looking up to the sky as if waiting for something.

“Hm. What, are they expecting their saviors to drop out of the sky?”

Suddenly, the Airship that Pokol had spotted on the beach earlier soared over their heads, casting a shadow over Celebi and Bulbie.

“Well, nobody’s jumped off yet, but I was close enough.”

A Noob appeared over the side and dropped a ladder; Bulbie began to climb up, as did Celebi. The duo clambered over the side and jumped onto the ship.

“HAH!” Bulbie yelled at Mew. “You all think it’s so easy being green! But let me tell you something! It’s NOT! But we still WIN! Hah!”

Celebi and Bulbie then began to laugh manically.

When they were halfway through, Bulbie stopped and said, “Uh, Celebi. Why are we all laughing manically?”

“Because we have to make our evil villain image COMPLETE! BWAHAHAHA!!!”

Bulbie said “Oh. Of course.” and quickly started making up for the lapse in evil laughter.

Once they had finished, and were well over the ocean, they finally stopped laughing to congratulate themselves on their evil scheme.

“Hah!” Celebi said, clapping Bulbie on the back. “You may not have been such a good fighter-but I knew that the moment I saw you, no offense. Your strategy was really ingenious, though! Luring those Noobs in to work for us with your family treasure was a stroke of genius!

“Yeah! And I loved when we laughed at those upstart heroes… what did you say their names were…”

“Pokol! And Mew!”

“Yeah, Pokol and Mew! Mew looked so pitiful standing there… all… alone…”

Bulbie and Celebi looked at each other and said “Uh-oh” just as a series of explosions rocked the ship.

Rushing out, they found Pokol standing on what was left of the deck (not much) their craft beginning to violently spin out of control.

“WHAT?! How did you get on my ship?!”

“I climbed up the ladder while you were taunting us. You really should have thought to have that thing rolled up first.”

“Why are you blowing up my ship? You’re crazy!” Celebi yelled.

“MY ship!”

“Oh, right. Sorry, Bulbie. But, why would you take out our ship over the OCEAN?! I know you can’t swim!”

“Well-hey, wait. How’d you know that? The only time I said it was when…” Suddenly, a huge grin snuck over Pokol’s face.

“You’ve been stalking me. Haven’t you?”

Celebi staggered back, blushing profusely. “Well… I… It was purely for informational purposes… so that I could dispose of you with more efficiency…”

“If you’re so hot to dispose of me, then why didn’t you take us both out earlier! You had at least nine thousand chances. Maybe over nine thousand!”

“Well… you see… I like… you’re really…” Suddenly, Celebi seemed to recover its wits. “Argh! This is of no importance! What is important is; you have doomed us all!”

“Well, not the Noobs. They can probably just walk along the bottom of the ocean until they reach shore again. And you should be able to float if Mew can, and carry Bulbie at that. So really, I just doomed myself.”

“Well… uh… umm…” Celebi said. “Bulbie… I don’t think I can carry her… She’s eaten one too many Ding Dongs…”

WHAT?!

“Well, you have.”

Bulbie shrugged. “Oh, well. Don’t worry. There comes my ride!”

Suddenly, a life raft flew out of the sky and halted near Bulbie.

“My, that’s convenient. What is that?”

“A corporate bailout, of course! Poppa President sent it for me. I’ll be fine.”

Bulbie hopped on the raft and floated off, leaving her troubles and crew of average citizens to spiral into stormy waters below.

Glancing over its shoulder, Celebi said, “Good. Land is close. I should be able to fly. Sayonara! …Wait, something’s missing. Of course, I forgot the evil laughter! BWAHAHAHA!!! OK, now I can leave.”

Celebi began to float off with one last regretful glance at Pokol, standing at the broken ship’s prow.

Making his move, Pokol hurled himself off the ruin of the ship and grabbed on to Celebi’s foot, hitching a ride.

Mew stared out at the sea as he saw the boat crash. “Man. I’m glad I didn’t tag along with Pokol that time.”
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  #15  
Old 02-16-2009, 12:32 PM
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Default Re: Team Pwnsome 2: When Noobs Attack! [Chapter 6 up. Just 2 more 6s til the Genesis

This is getting interesting so far, and Celebi's reaction to what Pokol said was hilarious XD
I wonder what the evil plot is this time, though.
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