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  #1  
Old 02-10-2009, 01:21 AM
my-little-starr's Avatar
my-little-starr Offline
 
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Default Story idea. Title: Somewhere I belong. Good or bad?

A real world girl wishes on a star to find the one place she truly belongs. Jirachi unexpectedly appears and grants her wish. She is reborn as the daughter of a Professor in the Pokemon World. She adventures through the regions and meets new friends along the way. Wondering if this was where she belonged. Will she one day wish to return to her old life?

So what do you guys think? Good or bad?
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Last edited by my-little-starr; 02-12-2009 at 02:58 AM.
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  #2  
Old 02-12-2009, 02:53 AM
Pokol DaErran's Avatar
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Default Re: Story idea. Title: Somewhere I belong. Good or bad?

Well, for one thing, it needs a plot.

This sounds suspiciously like a remix of a Pokemon game's plot, so nobody will want to read it unless it has some sort of awesome plot device (Pointing sarcasm at the plot, showing the plot from a perspective other than that of a Pokemon trainer, making the plot actually cool, etc etc.) nobody will want to read it.

Even if I'm wrong about your plot, the fact that I was instantly able to compare it to the game's plot means it should probably get some shaking up.

Another problem: you only put forth about three sentences and I can already use Fridge Logic on you.
Specifically; This girl is from the real world. Jirachi is from the Pokemon world. How was Jirachi able to grant her wish?

So, work on buffing up your plot a bit and you might get more commentary.
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Old 02-12-2009, 03:02 AM
Pokol DaErran's Avatar
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Default Re: Story idea. Title: Somewhere I belong. Good or bad?

Quote:
Originally Posted by my-little-starr View Post
Alright Pokol, I know I still have a lot to work on with the plot. ^^;

As for how Jirachi appears, I used the GBA that had the Pokemon Emerald game in it that was left on and he appeared from that.
The games can be used as portals between the two worlds?
Interesting idea, I like it. You might want to have that show up a bit more :P
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