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  #1  
Old 02-17-2009, 05:18 PM
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Default Eterna

Alright, so I have this idea for a plot of a story, but I want to get some feedback for it first.

Here goes:

The Legendary Pokemon were one-of-a-kind, and they all contained incredible power. Though they were numerous, they, together ruled the world, and they did so with justice, fairness, and peace, and everything prospered. It was a golden age, which lasted for over 1,000 years.

However, about 5,000 years ago, they all vanished. Not a single one was left, and the world was thrown into chaos. No messiah ever showed up, and no Legendary Pokemon was ever seen again.

However, they had left an artifact behind, which they hid, only to be found by someone worthy to wield its powers for justice. It was a sphere, about two feet in diameter, made of rock, but most interestingly, it glowed intensely bright-- it almost looked like a little sun. Its powers were immense-- it contained the powers of each legendary Pokemon-- Jirachi's ability to grant wishes, Mewtwo's ability to manipulate minds, Dialga's power over time, Kyogre's, Groudon's, and Rayquaza's abilities over weather, and many more. The Pokemon feared its discovery, and only hoped it would bring the Legendaries back...


Or so the legend goes.

Skip to present time, and this artifact has been found by a wise, ancient Alakazam. Many Pokemon looked up to him, and so relief and joy filled the land when it was he who found it. He instantly rose to the throne, and, with the artifact, which he named the Legendary Orb, ruled the world, and the peaceful, prosperous time of the Legendaries returned.

At least, it did for a year or two.

Soon, though, he went mad with power, and began using Mewtwo's contribution to the orb to take control of some of the weaker-minded Pokemon in the world to spread his influence, his goal being total dictatorship, in which all Pokemon existed to serve him and nothing more.


However, deep in a forest north of the Lake of Rage, there lives an Eevee named Eterna. Her parents live very far away, in the forest that her name is derived from. They sent her far away because she has a very special ability: Every once in a while, she undergoes a strange, feverish trance in which she is able to contact Celebi, the time-traveling Pokemon.

She lives with a colony of Oddish, who live underground in a forest, feeding on nutrients from the roots. Because Eevee don't feed in the same way, she has to feed on leaves in the forest.

Eventually, she finds out where Celebi is and how to find her, and so she goes on a quest that spans distance and time to find the ancient legendary Pokemon with two friends: a timid but intelligent Cubone, and a serious, efficient Luxio.

------------

Eh? Go ahead and post your opinion.
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  #2  
Old 02-17-2009, 05:47 PM
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Default Re: Eterna

Oho. So this is what you were talking about.
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  #3  
Old 02-19-2009, 10:50 PM
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Default Re: Eterna

It would be great if I could get a bit more feedback before starting this. Could I get some more replies?

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  #4  
Old 02-19-2009, 10:59 PM
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Default Re: Eterna

Interesting, that sounds like something I would read :D
I like the ideas you came up with.

Not to mention I'm an Eevee nut to begin with XD
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Old 02-19-2009, 11:13 PM
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Default Re: Eterna

Interesting.

I originally liked this plot as it was normally, but when you add Eterna and her quest for Celebi, I LUFF it even moar. :3

One of the things I look for in a story is uniqueness. I like how you used Celebi as a legendary and not something cliche like Groudon, Mew, or Suicune, lulz. Another thing that grabbed me was how Eterna lived with a bunch of Oddish underground. I find that adorable, and it reminds me of a wolf pack raising a human baby...or something like that anyway.

I definitely think you should post this. ^-^
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  #6  
Old 02-19-2009, 11:58 PM
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Default Re: Eterna

Alright, I'm getting mostly positive feedback for this, so I'll start working on the first chapter when I'm back at my desktop at home (I'm on vacation at the moment, and I'm using my dad's laptop).
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