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Old 02-17-2009, 12:39 AM
Rage12's Avatar
Rage12 Offline
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: in the shadow realm
Posts: 702
Default The Chosen-Darkness[plot]

I have an idea for a fan fic that’s a journey fic, with a slight twist on it.

A girl, Ivry, is blind, but she wants to desperately become a Pokemon Trainer, but her parents won’t let her because they think it’s too dangerous. One day, Ivry sneaks out to go find Pokemon to prove that she can go on an adventure by herself. She doesn’t know what happens, but she ends up falling to sleep. She has the weirdest dream as she sleeps. A Pokemon(Darkrai) approaches her in her sleep and asks her if she wants to go on an adventure. Of course, Ivry says yes, and Darkrai tells her that there’s a special Pokemon waiting for her in Sandgem Town in a Pitch Black Pokeball by the sea. Darkrai also tells her that if she picks up the Black Pokeball, she has then promised to free Darkrai from his prison. Darkrai, in her dreams, places a ball of Dark Aura into her body.

Ivry then awakes in her bed with perfect vision. She can even see through walls and other solid objects when she concentrates hard enough. Ivry then tells her mom and dad about her ability to see. Her parents, though curious and suspicious, let their daughter Ivry go on an adventure. Ivry finds the Dark Pokeball, and takes a few seconds to think. She then presses the button on the ball, and a black colored Riolu appears. The Pokeball disappears and a voice states that the darkness has chosen their savior. Ivry ignores the voice and gets acquainted with her starter Pokemon. She then returns home, says good-bye, packed up a few things and left off to go find some clues to where Darkrai is being held, so she can release him. She knows nothing of the legends of Darkrai, and how evil he is.
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So what do you think? Please give feedback.
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Old 02-17-2009, 12:50 AM
Lusitania Offline
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 5,119
Default Re: The Chosen-Darkness[plot]

I think it's...interesting, but I can't shake the feeling that something is missing.

Last edited by Lusitania; 02-17-2009 at 01:19 AM.
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Old 02-17-2009, 12:59 AM
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Pokol DaErran Offline
Join Date: Jul 2008
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Posts: 1,288
Default Re: The Chosen-Darkness[plot]

Impressive. But, yeah, I have the same feeling as Cipher Lord did...
Maybe it was the Dark Aura thing, that wasn't really explained enough.
98% of teens won't post irritating religious fads in their signatures. If you're in that 98%, please continue to do nothing.

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Old 02-17-2009, 01:14 AM
Rage12's Avatar
Rage12 Offline
Elite Trainer
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: in the shadow realm
Posts: 702
Default Re: The Chosen-Darkness[plot]

Well it's not really supposed to. She won't be able to use it for a while anyways, and she doesn't even know what it is. She's going to find out towards the end of the story.
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Old 02-18-2009, 11:03 AM
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my-little-starr Offline
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: The place where dreams come true
Posts: 2,341
Default Re: The Chosen-Darkness[plot]

Looks good to me. I'll definitely be on the look out for this fic. ^^
Credit to Dylan for the avvie and banner. :D
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Old 02-23-2009, 01:09 AM
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Giratina Offline
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Never-Turn-Back, pestering Zero
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Default Re: The Chosen-Darkness[plot]

This sounds very interesting, but a black Riolu? I see that you wanted to make her starter set out from the crowd, but a black Riolu? If you want to give her a unique starter, perhaps you could give her a grayscale version of a starter from another region or something. It seems less cliched than the prevolution of the most popular fourth-gen Pokemon.

Oh yeah, and one more thing: There's no evidence proving canonical Darkrai is evil. Unless this is a different Darkrai that didn't appear in the Pokemon movies, he would be going out-of-character.

~ World famous singing sensation, Stefan Gordy.

(For the longest time I was telling myself that I would come back to PE2K once I had something artsy and cool to contribute... but that's too much effort. GIRA IS BACK!)

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